When the Fog Was Lifted
by clexaislife2014
Summary: I am dangerous. The voices call to me. When we are sent to the ground everything changes for the better, especially when I meet her. Lexa, Commander of the 12 clans, helps me gain the freedom I have always wanted. UPDATE AT THE END OF THE STORY! GET READY FOR A REWRITE COMING SOON!
1. The Fall

So, I am now writing a second story. The first for those interested isn't finished and wasn't that good but it was a crossover of Harry Potter and Bleach when I was super into Bleach fanfiction for a while. This will be a, 100 fanfiction. I am making my own character because I can, and she will be paired with Lexa. I am sorry for those that love Clexa. I do too but I need her to be normal and the leader we all want know.

I reread this story a couple days ago and have to admit. While it wasn't terrible it was kind of bad so I am going to slowly be going back through and fixing the chapters to where they hopefully aren't too terrible, especially considering that there is a huge drop off of viewers after the first chapter.

Also, I am desperate need of a Beta for my stories. No matter how many times I go back over or even read the story out loud I also miss something and it honestly drives me absolutely crazy.

I own nothing.

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When the Fog Was Lifted

I have lived more than half of my life in a fog. The medication I took made my body feel as though I was moving up a river. It wasn't always like this but that was before I committed a heinous act. My parents were not the best, especially my mother who would drink. The few points that my father saved up and worked long hours every day to make was always used by my mother so that she could buy moonshine from the black market run by that lady in the kitchen. I don't know her name but I had seen her once or twice. My mother died first before my father came home and to be perfectly honest I am not entirely sure what had happened. Once he entered our living quarters it is like my memory simply stops. The next thing that is clear in my memory is waking up in the sky box with my arms and legs tied down to a bed.

My mother never wanted me. I knew this and as much as it hurt, I accepted it. She would call me things such as demon, hell spawn, and a mistake. Thanks to the fact that my father was never home, he couldn't protect me from her, not that he truly cared because he was normally to tired to handle anything by the time he came home. Things truly came to a tipping when she began to physically abuse me. She would continuously smack me in the back of the head or hit me with her belt, while telling me how much of a mistake I was. That if I had never been born then they would actually have the money to have a better life. The day that I snapped and finally killed her was the day she actually threw a bottle at me.

My 10th birthday had just passed when my mother seemed to finally go crazy. I can remember that she had thrown her glass bottle at me. That I had grabbed the pocket knife my father had gifted me and stabbed her but I didn't stop. I continued to push the sharp blade into her chest and watch as that bright red blood poured from her wounds. How this beautiful color slowly stained everything around me. That red slowly faded to black in my memory as soon as my father walked into the room.

I awoke sometime later tied down a thin mattress. The room was empty except for a toilet and sink located in the corner. The walls were white. A few minutes later the door slid open smoothly and a man that I had never liked walked in. Thelonious Jaha in all his glory stood next to the bed. He asked many questions about what happened with my parents, things like why did I do it, what did I do, and how could I do something like that. When I did not answer any of his questions, he threatened me. If I didn't actually respond to any of his questions, then he would just have me floated and no one would care because why would the Ark waste resources on a murderer.

After that a red haze covered my vision and it was as though I watching a movie. I pulled and yanked at the metal cuffs that held me to the bed, as I screamed and roared at the man. Screaming about my parents were the monsters and I did nothing wrong. A medic came into the room and injected something into my neck after some guards held me down and everything once more faded to black.

I awoke a couple hours later to my wrists and ankles heavily bandaged with the white gauze already tinted with red from my blood. Over the course of the next few weeks, four meetings with Doctor Griffin, and one more from Jaha I placed on a medicine that clouded over everything. My limbs became heavier but also looser at the same time, my thoughts slowed down, and it became easier to just allow everything to fade out into the background.

As I grew older though the effectiveness of the medication began to lessen, as though their wasn't enough of the medicine in my system to continue being effective and when I turned 16 the medicine was changed and the effects were finally at the point where it was safe for others to be around me without myself reaching out to attack someone. Of course this didn't mean that I wanted to be around other people. I never had any friends because I did not feel that I fit in with the other children. It felt like I was on the outside looking in and with all the problems with my parents I didn't want anyone close enough to ask questions.

This didn't change the fact that I was deemed 'dangerous' to others. Doctor Griffin and Jaha made sure that I was always kept isolated from others , just in case I snapped once more. This meant that the only ones I interacted with was the guards who came in and made sure I ate my food or the one time a week I was allowed to take a shower. The guards were not nice and anytime I didn't follow the order exactly when they told me I was hit with a night stick or sometimes even the shock baton. I honestly didn't want to hurt others as it brought me no joy. I just wanted to be left alone as I didn't mind my isolation but the one thing I did mind was being touched. Anytime someone would place their hand on me, I would always panic and strike out at what I perceived to be a threat.

Anytime a hand comes near me my mind always goes back to when my mother would get close to me. I could feel the leather of the belt as it crashed into my back. Of her smooth skin as her hand struck me. My father was a very reserved man and never hugged me, so all touch had a negative connotation to me. Even though I was child at they time it did not mean that the guards were kind but thankfully they would only hit me once before I would kick into action. Now that I was older though? Sometimes once they were done beating me, I could barely move.

I am almost 18 years old. I think I have a couple more months until I am floated. I know that I don't have a chance to make it past 18. In some terrible way, I have accepted this but that might just be the medication that I am taking. Doctor Griffin talks to me twice a week or more depending on how she feels that I am handling everything. She tries really hard to get me to open up to her and talk about how I feeling, but it is really hard as it always feels like I am floating through a cloud. My mind to hazy and foggy for me to accurately tell her what is going on in my mind and I hated it. I would have rather been locked up

To tell her that it feels as though part of myself is missing. That I have this hole in my chest and weight on my shoulders, that I have no idea what is even causing it. I noticed that after the murder of my parents this hole appeared, and I knew it had to be because of the black out from my father's death.

For the first couple of years I would try to fight what the medicine was doing but now I don't really care. It makes no sense to fight something that wasn't going to ever change. Anytime that I meet with Doctor Griffin, the conversation always steers toward how I can further my mental health but honestly I don't feel that there is truly anything wrong with me.

I mean yes I 'technically' killed my parents but I know for a fact my mother dying was more an act of self defense and I have no idea what happened with my dad. I also had a slight anger issue and hated for others to touch me unless I knew them well enough. I have had a few incidents already because of guards grabbing me when I was not looking and punching them in the face resulting in noses to be broken and even sometimes a tooth to be knocked out.

I didn't have much area to exercise or walk about but I did have enough room to do body workouts, that used my own body weight against me. Every day like clockwork after breakfast was eaten I would do sit ups, push ups, squats, basically anything that caused my muscles to burn with fatigue by the time I was done.

This small activity allowed me to be in control in one part of my life. The guards hated that I did such things because they knew they couldn't stop me. The few times they tried I always made sure to tell Griffin and she was quick to stop it, as she said it was good for me to work out my aggression.

Fucking suckers.

The sudden and very sharp jerk, as well as the sound of other people screaming brought me out of the deep hole I pulled myself into. I tried to move away from the screaming but only managed to learn that I was currently strapped down into the chair, which honestly wasn't a new occurrence for me.

The amount of other kids on whatever or where ever we were was a new experience because I hadn't been around this many people in so long that it is disorienting. I hadn't seen any of them before, though some faces did look familiar. A sick smirk came across my lips when I spotted some kid named Marvin? It doesn't matter. He tried once when we little to bully me but I punched him square in the throat and he never bothered me again.

In all honesty I am not entirely sure when I was moved?

It's never a good sign when that happens. When I remove myself so far from my surroundings that I don't know what is going on around me.

Giving a sharp tug on the straps holding me down I finally notice the new wrist accessory I have on. Usually, I have a blood red colored band that lets people know that I am dangerous but it seems to have been replaced by a piece of metal and judging by the strange sharp pain coming from the area, it is some type of monitor.

I bet the guards were pleased that I didn't cause them any problems when they moved me. Normally I get a swift punch or kick in when they enter my cell but I guess it doesn't really matter anymore.

I can hear Jaha's voice, his words like they normally are just going in one ear and out the other, though some girl yelling does catch my attention. She is yelling at some boys who are out of there seats and are floating through the air?

Finally I look closer at the area and realize that I am in a fucking ship and I think we are going onto earth. I look forward to when my feet can touch the earth and I can see colors others then just the white of my cell. That finally I can see actual trees. Of course this will only be true if we don't die as soon as the doors open.

I spent almost 8 years inside a room that was barely 6 by 6. The only true color in the cell was the toilet that was silver. Everything else was white. White walls, white sheets, and even white clothing. The only time I would see color was when the ship turned enough that I was able to see just a sliver of the Earth. The green of the world was vivid and I still have never seen as beautiful as the small stretches that were obviously covered in trees. This only occurred once in a while and my attention would always be glued to the Earth until I could no longer see.

The girls voice draws my attention once more and then recognize that it is Clarke. She is the daughter of Doctor Griffin. I haven't seen her in years. Never once when I had to visit the clinic to have a check up or go for scheduled appointment was she ever present. Probably because Abby was concerned I would do something.

The ship rocks once more and finally everything seems to have calmed down enough but the two of the three boys are thrown harshly into the metal of the sides of the ship. The sounds of their bones shattering and breaking push back another wave of the fog that wants me to just close my eyes for a while. It feels like something is slowly pushing my eyes closed and my brain to shut itself down.

Giving my head a hard shake before finally looking over at the girl that is staring around at everything in wide eyed wonder. Her eyes are shining brightly when she makes eye contact with me.

She reaches over and grips my hand tightly and I quickly rip my hand from hers. My lip curling back in a snarl as my heart rate spikes for a second. The medication seems to float a little heavier in my system from the sudden intrusion into my space.

My eyes turn down when her eyes darken in hurt at my reaction. I look down and away as I mumble out an apology to what looks to be a very kind girl. Placing my hands between my clenched thighs, I close my eyes tightly and allow my mind to gently float away for the time being. Barely taking note of when the ship finally touches down onto the earth.

* * *

The story gets better I promise. The plan I have is that there will be about 20 chapters at the most. I don't plan on killing Lexa because seriously fuck that. I don't plan to kill Clarke or my OC but there will be a few deaths so just giving you a heads up.


	2. The Fog

So this is chapter one. The pills and medication that is given to Kara are very strong. They are the kind that is given to keep patients calm when they are in a hospital. The reason for them will become clear in later chapters. I kind am taking this story the way I want too and will change the timeline for how I see fit. Also, it will take awhile for the drugs to be completely out of her system.

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Chapter One

When I was brought out of my fog it was to some man shaking my shoulder. I quickly slapping his hand away muttering at him not to touch me. The teenager's eyes swirled with rage before it quickly disappeared. He looked familiar but I couldn't bring myself to recall where I had seen him before. He continued trying to talk to me but I couldn't understand the words he was saying. I felt like I had cotton in my ears and it was starting to make me more upset, my heart rate was picking up and the anger that was seeping into my body was slowly increasing. His face changed from concerned to slightly angry. Probably from not responding but I couldn't bring myself to care. I think I made a grunt of noise or something because he seemed pleased to at least hear something from me.

I shook my head a little and could finally understand he was asking if I was ok. So I guess the grunt did kind of help. Then he is reaching his hands forward and to touch me around my stomach. This activates a jerk response and we are no longer on the ship but back in my cell to a guard who wants to take me somewhere. The fog recedes and the dark haze took slight control and I somehow swiftly moved my arm and punched him in the throat. The black kid I think who said his name was Wells fell to the floor and started coughing and tried to catch his breath as he grips his throat. Sick satisfaction courses through my body at the sight of him on the ground before me, my grin vicious to those looking at me. Hearing footsteps coming closer I look up and see Clarke with virtual fire in her eyes staring back at me, her color so similar to my own. Clarke's arm slowly comes up and I can see the needle she has in her hand I know instantly that those jackasses brought medicine down with the ship for me. I jump forward in my seat but am yanked back by the straps I had forgotten about.

Swimming my arms wide I try to hit to keep her away from me, releasing my own screams hoping she would stay away. The shifting of something to my right makes me lose focus on Clarke and when I turn I see that Wells is standing back up. This allows Clarke to small opening she needs to jab the needle into my neck.

I can feel it seeping through my body with every beat of my heart. My arms fall to my sides and I no longer have the strength to keep my head up and it falls back and I am staring at the metal of the ceiling. I didn't mean to hit him but this wasn't the firsts time this has happened. I just scared. I hope he knows that. He was probably just trying to help me get the straps off me. Shit, this could be bad. Before I could think about anymore I felt the fog finally take over completely and passed out.

 _*Dream/Flashback*_

 _I was sleeping in my room, well more like cell when I heard the door open. The boots make their way slowly towards my bed. The bed dips down as the person takes a seat at the end of the bed. I was trying to fight the fog that clouding everything and I didn't want to be hurt the guard but I knew I probably would, my body was already thrumming with too much energy. I knew that they were probably going to inject the drug again so that I would stay calm. They shook my shoulder to see if I would awake. When the person actually touched my shoulder I panicked and of course, my hand shot out and pulled hard on the jacket I had gotten hold of. Then I felt a slight pain when I smashed my face into theirs a small part of me enjoying the crunch that almost seemed to echo through the room. They fell off the bed groaning and holding their head. I tried to stand and only managed to sit up a little before I fell back down. I tried again and succeeded in pushing myself up and out of the bed, trying to ignore how it felt the floor was giving out on me._

 _I shuffled to the door and ran out taking a right. I heard a roar so loud that I could feel it vibrate in my chest from behind me. When I turned around all I can see if this giant shadow at the entrance to my cell looking at me with its red eyes. It moved closer to me and something resembling an arm started to reach out towards me as it began to move closer._

 _I bolted. I didn't want it to come closer. I ran as fast as I could and started taking random turns in the hallways till I reached a familiar door. I ripped it open and what I saw was me as a small child. I could hear the words of mistake and demon being yelled. I couldn't move and could only watch as a younger me cowered in the corner while my own mother yelled venomous words as she took sips out of her moonshine bottle. Each sentence was ended with a kick to my side, the phantom pain of this memory washed over my body and I could feel each kick as it connected with my tender side._

 _A bony hand touched my shoulder and then I remembered that I was being chased. I froze in utter terror, the grip on my shoulder slowly increased. I slowly turned and all I saw was red, the rest of the face of the being was covered by a hood and the eyes were only visible because they actually glowed._

 **Soon child.**

 _*end*_

I woke up with a start. What the hell was the going on with the dream? The dreams with the red eyes man have slowly been increasing to where I now had it at least once a week. Everything was hazier than it normally was, and I could hear other people talking and birds. Wait why can I hear birds?

I realized that some man was standing in front of me. His eyes were hard when he was staring at me. He had a guard jacket on instantly setting me on edge because I had no idea that a guard had even come down. I could have sworn that Jaha had stated that we were on our own. I could have also sworn that the girl next to me when the dropship came down looked like him but that couldn't have been possible.

I tried to back away only to realize that I was still strapped down in the chair but this time my hands and my feet were now bound. My fear level before was manageable but now it had increased to where it was taking over my brain, making me irrational, and this happened every time I was tied down. This was always the worst. I was only tied down when I hurt others.

I started to twist my hands trying unsuccessfully to remove the rope from my wrapped tightly around my wrists. I could feel it biting into my wrists as it slowly became more painful the more I tried to get out of them. I could feel the rope burns forming as I tried harder to get my hands free. Then I smelled the iron in my blood a second before I saw the red start to turn the rope a beautiful burgundy color. I didn't stop though and increased the effort I putting into escaping the rope.

The man touched my hands to try and stop what I was doing, instantly I tried to throw my hands out to hit him but the grip he had only tightened before loosening when I stopped myself barely a second later. I finally looked back up at him. His eyes weren't as hard as before and had softened enough that my fear was slowly decreasing.

"My name is Bellamy. What's your name?" he asked kindly.

I could only try to swallow past the lump in my throat before I started to twist my hands again as the need to escape reared its head once more. His grip tightened some to keep my hands still and stopping me from hurting myself further.

"It's ok. I don't want to hurt you and don't plan on it. You are hurting yourself. Do you want me to untie them for you? You don't need to be afraid, I promise you," He said trying to reassure me enough that I would stop twisting my hands.

All I could do was slowly nod my head. Bellamy released a heavy sigh before taking out a knife made from what looked to be scrap metal and cutting the rope on my feet first and then the rope wrapped around my hands. I took another deep breath and I felt myself calm down enough to actually think past the fear. The terror I felt when tied up quickly faded and finally disappeared. I could finally take a deep breath. The fog was trying to break through the wall I had quickly built but was starting to buckle once more. I could feel the worry about where I was and who this Bellamy person was starting to fade away to nothing.

I then realized that he was talking to me again.

"…keep up with the medication. Do you understand?"

I wanted to cry. A small what escaped my lips. Bellamy released another heavy sigh and ran his hand through his hair.

"For some reason one of the few things they gave us was your medication. We have a couple week worth's of medication for you. I made sure no one touched it and will give you it every time you need to take some. Or that princess Clarke will."

I felt the tears form. I didn't understand what was happening. What did he mean they left medicine for me? Why would they give me it anyway? We were on the ground and they were still up in the sky. Did they hate me that much that they would send it down with me?

"Why?" was the only word that escaped from my mouth.

Bellamy frowned a little. "Well, the people on the Ark only gave us this box of medicine that had specific instructions for when we are on the ground. I don't want to follow it, but you punched Wells in the throat before we had the chance to even discuss it and as much as I want to think that you won't attack another person I can't take that chance here. We finally have something to call our own, but I don't want to put you or the others in jeopardy. I would like to not give you the medicine but we do, though we will lower the dosage of the medicine if you don't have any violent outbursts or it seems that you work just as well without the medicine as you do with it. I will make sure that you are kept safe and even have my sister Octavia keep you company sometimes if you would like."

I could only dumbly nod my head trying to process all that he said. It sounded like he just said we are on the ground which would probably explain what happened earlier. But why would I still be given the drugs? I wasn't dangerous. I mean maybe I was. I might be to those who would hurt me but I mean it isn't like I am trying to hurt someone. I tried to hold onto what I was thinking only for everything to fade away into the fog and resigning myself to this new life on the ground.

* * *

The first time I felt coherent was sometime the following day, I could hear others loudly complaining about someone named Jasper. I can kind of remember the others bringing him back talking about how he was speared in the chest which made no sense because I thought everyone that was still on the ground died.

Deciding that I was tired of sitting down and sleeping I was able to push myself to stand up. I felt kind of wobbly and that wobbly feeling left pretty quickly which I was totally thankful for. I started to walk out the dropship only to stop when I saw all the green. There was green everywhere. The freshness of the air actually burned my nose and it felt nice. The trees were beautiful, and I was enthralled but what everything actually looked like, I was allowed to borrow books and all of them had pictures of the ground below but to actually see them in person was positively amazing. My face hurt from how wide my smile was.

A lot of the people that came down with us were starting to build walls around the self-made camp. Bellamy was standing with a group of boys. I felt slight recognition in the back of my brain when I saw one of the boys, but I couldn't bring myself to remember where I had seen him only because I think I had seen him before I was arrested.

When I stepped off the dropship I realized that someone had stolen my shoes while I was lost in my own mind. I wonder when that happened but didn't care because the dirt felt amazing between my toes. I had never known what dirt would feel like on my feet. I dug my feet into the dirt and just stood there and kept breathing deeply, enjoying how crisp the air felt and the smell of the forest that surrounded us. Pine was amazing and smelt so crisp and the moist dirt created a spectacular combo and I think I could die happy just being able to smell that. The longer I stood there the better I felt and the clearer my mind became. I started to walk around and looking at all those around the camp who were still building walls and what seemed to be what was left of some massive animal over the fire. I saw the girl who Bellamy introduced me to the other day, his sister who was the girl who was sitting next to me when we came down. I slowly walked over to her and sat down across from her.

She didn't say anything to me but did raise an eyebrow while she stared.

"Your name is Oct something right? I am sorry I can't remember the rest of it but I do remember sitting next to you when we came down," I tell her with a small smile on my face hoping to not offend her too much. A smile stretched across her face and I could easily see the mirth in her eyes. A sense of relief washed over my body knowing she wasn't too offended by forgetting her name.

"Well my full name is Octavia, but you can call me Oct if that is easier for you. How are you feeling today?"

I fall onto my back and look straight up at the sky. "I am here and I am not here. I feel very lost and I don't know how to find myself. I feel better and it is so green here. So much color and the air smells so clean. So, I am feeling better than I was the day before or the year before but it is still hard to focus but that is only because of what I am taking."

"Sounds rough. I have spent my whole life under the floor or locked in the skybox but at least I was there. It will get better and hopefully, soon you don't have to take them anymore. Hey, I am going to check on Jasper. I'll be back in a bit but make sure you stay within the walls of camp ok? Don't want to risk you getting hurt by one of the grounders."

I hum in acknowledgment and hear her walk off. I sat staring at the sky for awhile, locked back in the fog. Maybe water would make it better and I was getting thirsty. I forced myself to my feet and started to look around for water. I walked in between makeshift tents and fire pits but could find no water. I walk past the center of camp and start walking towards the tree line. I must have passed the camp line and I ignored the voices I heard yelling assuming they were yelling at someone else. At least I did till I felt a strong grip grab my arm.

Before I could even think I twisted around and brought my face forward and smashed into the other persons. I felt their nose break against my head and the person howled in pain, while also dropping my wrist the cradle their own face red blood gushing past his fingers. I hate when people touch me when I don't see them coming. No one seems to understand. The guards were doing it all the time and never understood why I would hit them. It just scared me. I turn real quick to run into the woods when I am tackled hard to ground by someone.

I could taste the dirt that had gotten in my mouth as the person on top of me was smashing my face into the ground in no way were they trying to be gentle. They were digging their knee straight into my spine near my shoulders. I tried to buck them off only for them to put more weight on my back making it slightly harder to breathe. I could hear some girl yelling for someone to bring medicine to calm me down. I started to panic I could feel the terror bubbling up like some volcano bursting over. I could hear someone screaming. I think it is me. I start trying to buck the person off again while also throwing my arms back trying to hit them.

The person on top of me grabbed my arms and held them still on the ground, while finally placing all of their weight on my back now making it almost impossible to breathe. I tried to turn my head to see who they were but couldn't get my head to turn to far and could only really see the ground to the left of my head. I could see someone with black boots running back over. I knew they had to drug. I didn't want it. I really didn't. I hate it. I started screaming louder. Yelling that I would gut them and then kill them. Why couldn't they understand that I didn't want the fog to come back? I was being good too. I just wanted to walk around and find some water. They didn't even say anything to me or call my name. Just tried to touch me. I felt the slight pinch against my neck and kept trying to thrash around only to feel the fog return and crash back over my mind. Calming me down. I couldn't really control anything anymore and just went back to my safe place inside my mind.

Someone moved me back to the dropship and tied my hands up again. I just sat there locked inside my mind. I closed my eyes and went back to sleep.

* * *

This continued for the next two weeks. I am kind of glad for the medicine because that Jasper kid wouldn't stop moaning in pain and was slightly surprised no had killed him, pretty sure if I wasn't on the medicine I would have done it. At least he got to feel something. I wanted to feel something. Bellamy kept me company for a bit before leaving making sure I ate something. Octavia would also come around and talk to me a lot. Well, she would talk and then I would mostly listen.

I also know someone took off the bracelet that used to be on my arm or something happened. I didn't really care. Someone apparently found guns. I also think the Ark came down? Oh and I'm am pretty sure Clarke was taken but I was still slightly pissed at her so I did not care enough to find out. I was just kept in a constant state of being numb. I know they moved me around a bit. I would be let to walk around and talk to people, but I didn't feel like talking to others. I think the medicine is almost out because I am not being given as much as before. Everything is becoming a little clearer, but not enough to where I can break free from the fog. I just accepted that I just had to wait a little bit longer before I could get myself back to feeling somewhat coherent.

One day I didn't have anyone around me and walked out of the dropship and starting walking in one direction. The guards at the gate didn't say anything as I walked past besides that I need to keep in sight of the compound we made to keep out the grounders. I said ok and then just kept walking. I don't know how long I walked for but I knew I was far away from camp and the walls were no longer visible.

My feet were starting to hurt and when I looked down I could see that my feet were kind of bloody and bruised. I thought I was given a pair of boots after my old pair was stolen? Maybe I just didn't put them on when I left. I should probably head back and grab them before I continue walking around.

When I turned around I saw some giant man standing there. The man was wearing all black with a long black cloak that covered his body. I couldn't see what he actually looked like under the hood.

"The fuck did you come from?" I couldn't really tell and majorly confused. I just tilted my head. He looked like the black shadow man from my dreams and only seemed to be missing the glowing red eyes. Maybe I was dreaming if he was here? This is certainly a weird dream then.

"Am I dreaming? I swear I wasn't sleeping," I narrowed my eyes at him but he didn't respond.

So, I just turned back the other way and started walking again. I heard him following me for a while before I couldn't hear the steps anymore and just kept going the way I was originally ignoring my feet. I just kept walking over logs, leaves, and rocks. I think I was getting thirsty, but I was always thirsty on these drugs. Maybe I should ask Bellamy about getting a bottle or something to carry water…. wait Bellamy…he was going to be so pissed that I was gone. Shit and I have no idea where I am. This is going to end badly for me anyway I looked at it, looking up I could tell that it was about to be night time by how the sky was turning a dark shade of red with purple filtering through the trees it was beautiful but very worrying.

Doesn't really matter. I should turn around and go back anyway. That shadowy guy should be gone by now anyway. When I went to turn around again I felt a brief flash of pain to the back of my head before everything went black.

* * *

Revised 12/24/17


	3. Fog of War

So Chapter 2. I kind of did it this way because I wanted to just skip essentially the first season of the show and get to the good stuff of season 2 also because I can be slightly impatient.

I don't own anything except the OC I made.

* * *

Chapter Two

When I came too I was in some kind of dirt filled cell that was covered in leaves. Like literal fucking leaves. Does like no one clean this shit? I still felt that I was surrounded by fog though but to a little less of a degree. I was alone in the cell.

What the hell happened. I could remember someone from a long time ago telling me that when I feel scared or stressed to take deep calming breathes and to count to ten to bring myself under control. Honestly, fuck that. Sitting myself up the sound of chains moving drew my attention, looking down I could see that my left leg had a restraint and chain attached to it.

"The fuck?"

I grab a hold of the chain and give it a hard tug but it gave signs of being very securely attached to the wall. I give one harder tug and when I get no response I fall back and just stare at the ceiling. The calm brought by the medicine is slowly falling crashing over me like waves on the beach. I let it take me under and fall asleep once more.

* * *

I came to with the sound of the cage being opened and two people being thrown to the floor and then locked in chains around their feet to the wall next to me. Someone spoke in a guttural language to them and before leaving. I didn't move and just kept myself facing the corner. The two men talk a little but I pay no attention to what they are saying and just curl more into the corner, slightly enjoying the smell of the leaves and dirt which just thinking about sounds wrong.

The voices of the two men are very familiar and I swear I know them but I am still tired enough to go back to sleep. I close my eyes once more and let sleep take me.

* * *

This I think continued for some time. Maybe a day or two? Before the prison door was opened again. The fog was finally gone. I felt whole again. I hadn't felt like this in years. There wasn't the constant exhaustion that I always felt. I didn't feel myself lose my thoughts. I could finally focus. I finally moved away from the corner and leaned up against the wall.

I looked to my right and saw one of the people I hated most in this world and another who I really did not like. I tried to control what I was thinking and feeling. I really did but I could feel the anger coming. A red haze was slowly inching its way across my vision.

One of the men. Jaha was the reason I was recommended to be on the medication in the first place because he claimed if I had violently murdered the ones I loved what would I do to others. And Kane was one of the reasons that I was locked in the skybox in the first place. Saying that I didn't have to kill my parents that I should have told someone, and they would have helped me. My parents were guards when they weren't drunk. High ranking ones at that and they didn't believe me that I was just doing it for attention. They helped ruin my life and take almost 7 years from me. They probably even made sure that the medicine went down with the dropship. Those assholes.

The sound of the door to the cell opening drew my attention a truly massive man walked in followed by a couple other equally large men dressed in black, both of them had things covering their face. I had a feeling that they wouldn't take kindly to me sitting and slowly forced myself to stand up but still leaning back against the wall, enjoying how cool the wall felt.

Jaha has no sense it seems because he did not stand when the other men came in the room and two of the men punched a couple of times before hauling him to his feet. The laugh that I let out was truly malicious and my smile was bloodthirsty. That's when Kane and the others turned and looked at me, Kane himself looked worried while Jahas face seemed to darken in his anger at seeing me. I could tell that they recognized me.

I just held up my hands in surrender like I wasn't going to do anything. I just needed the other men to leave. The tall one at the front of the cell started talking about how my people sent an assassin to kill 18 of their villagers and how "Blood must have Blood" before he dropped a knife and walked out the door explaining how he will talk to the one that was left alive later. I couldn't help the manic grin that came over my face, my eyes promising blood and death. I started to chuckle before it turned into full on belly laughter my laugh sounding insane.

"Kara?" I heard Kane ask me.

"Yes, Councilman Kane?" I sweetly asked.

I heard something slide across the floor and looked over and saw some girl that might have been slightly older than me holding some jug most likely filled with water. I didn't remember her being here before the guards came in. Must have left her with us. She was really pretty and something deeply buried in my mind did not like how weak she acting, that her eyes shouldn't be meek like they look but should burn like fire. I turned back ignoring what the strange girl was making me feel and started looking for the knife.

"How did you come to be here?" Jaha asked me, venom clear in his voice.

"Someone grabbed me while I was out taking my evening stroll," I say before I finally spot the knife. I moved slightly closer trying to act like I wasn't about to violently murder one of the two men. Kane seemed to know what I was about to do because he was eyeing me.

My legs bent and the instant I was about to jump for the knife I was tackled to the ground by Kane. I landed hard on my back my head bouncing off the ground. I ignore how everything seems slightly double and start trying to punch him in the throat and when that doesn't seem to be working using my nails to try and scratch his face since my head hit the floor I have been screaming and yelling out at Kane. I can feel how my throat is starting to feel strained. Kane was finally able to grab both of wrists and held them down. I kept trying to buck him off of me trying to use my legs to twist him off of me but I was getting nowhere fast. I threw my face forward and tried to hit him in the face but he leaned out of the way before I could do any damage. I finally spat in his face instead, least I could hit him that way.

I then realized the downside of not really doing any strenuous activity because I was already tired and decided I needed the element of surprise to get what I want.

I lost all of my energy and just laid still and kept staring back at the wall to my left near the other girl as I heavily inhaled and exhaled. I saw that she was watching me with sharp eyes, taking in everything that was happening. I had a feeling that she wasn't who she was pretending to be. Some servant girl who acted meek would not have those kinds of eyes and wouldn't look like a coiled spring. I was breathing heavily and then realized I was crying when I could feel them running down my face. God damn it. Can't I control myself for at least a minute? This only increased the anger I was feeling and in no way calmed me.

"Thelonious do you have the knife secured?' Kane asked.

"Yes. I have it."

"Good. Now, Kara, I want you to start taking nice deep calm breaths. In and out. There ya go. Now if I let you go will you be calm and not try to hurt any of us?"

My eyes darted all around the room trying to find something to hit him with before I finally looked him back in the eyes and said yes in a flat voice. He slowly got off me and backed away. I didn't move a muscle till he was against the wall with the chancellor. Even then I waited a couple of minutes before I moved. I sat up and finally looked around the room. Kane and Jaha had the knife between them both but Jaha still had his hand on the grip of the knife.

I slowly made my way to the girl wanting to be close to her but also close to the other men. I saw Kane stiffen and he was quick to order me to back away from the girl. I looked over at her almost afraid to think that she would be scared of me but she just gave me a blank stare, her eyes not betraying any emotions before turning to the other men.

"I won't hurt you," I whisper. She turns back to me and I see a quick flash of humor before it disappears, and it makes me wonder if I actually saw it to begin with.

"I promise," I add for the benefit of those behind us.

"I will be fine," she whispers before going back to fiddling with a leaf in her hands. My eyes quickly train to what her hands look like and I can see slight scars across her knuckles as though she split them at some point. I file that away for later.

I moved a little closer to her and kept myself between her and the two men. I sat down very slowly and just kept my eyes ahead of me. I tried to calm myself and think of ways to get the knife from Thelonious. I couldn't really think of anything. I must have been doing this longer than I thought because Kane starts talking about how "they want us to turn on each other." I couldn't help the snort that came out. I just got a dark look in return from Jaha but Kane just seemed slightly content to ignore me.

"They want justice." The girl spoke. I liked her voice. It helped clear the dark thoughts from my head for a minute which is always nice. I wanted her to talk more.

Thelonious stood up and made his way over. I couldn't let help the growl that slipped through my clenched teeth when he got closer to the two of us. He stopped and squatted down. He gave me a sharp look and told me to control myself.

Seriously? Like honestly?

"Fuck You! Stay in your fucking corner with the other asshole." I shouted. I could feel my anger coursing through my veins just underneath the surface waiting to be released. His hand was quick to lash out and backhanded me across the face.

"Mind your tongue, Kara. Be lucky that when we get out of this that you aren't killed for what you have done. I am shocked that you haven't done something to have gotten you killed with these grounders," He spat out. I ignore how my heart clenches hearing that.

I could not help but feel anything, doing what I used to do when my mom would hit me. I just stayed still and didn't move again. The small amount of medicine still in my system helped bring the fog back just enough that I could force my brain to become blank and I just sat there and kept quiet. The girl seemed to tense slightly when Jaha had hit me and it was easy to see

Thelonious turned back to the girl. "I apologize about that. She has problems that need to be addressed at a later date. I don't know how your people got a hold of her but I am glad she didn't hurt anyone she can be extremely dangerous at times. Now if you don't mind me asking what is your name. Mine is Thelonious and that over there is Marcus and this is Kara though hopefully, she controls herself better though. She is already in enough trouble when she is brought back to Camp Jaha."

The utter devastation I felt at the sentence made me feel like I was about to cry before my anger rushed through my system. I wouldn't let them take me back and if they did I would run away or I'd kill myself.

The girl gave back the reply that her name was Lexa. I liked that name. It was a good name for her. Thelonious backed up a little after she told us her name and continued to ask. "Now your Commander mentioned something about an assassin."

I stopped paying attention when I realized that Thelonious has left the knife where he was sitting before he moved over. I didn't let my eyes stray from it. I just kept staring. I finally looked over at Kane and Thelonious to see what they were doing and they were both watching the girl instead of me. I moved a little bit closer to the knife and it seemed the only one to notice me was Lexa as her eyes instantly connected with mine, at least she was observant. It is crazy to think those two assholes helped run everything and one of them was in charge of the guard. I moved a little closer. I was within leaping distance of the knife finally.

I looked back over and could see that both they were still talking to the girl and I could tell that she was watching me out of the corner of her eye. She knew what I was about to do. I could tell. She didn't really give it away except for something in her eye. I leaped over and grabbed the knife. I held it in the way that my father before he became an asshole, had taught me. I had it in a grip where the blade was facing down my arm instead of in front of it. Both the men were now watching me. I couldn't help the bloodthirsty smile that came on my face. I could feel that all my teeth were showing. I was glad that my canines were a little sharper than most because I could see the flash of fear in Jaha's eyes.

"Enie menie mine moh. Catch an asshole by his toe, if he hollers stab him slow," I whispered my little creepy nursery rhyme.

The dark haze that I was barely keeping contained finally released. I felt my mind calm and could feel the adrenaline that was coursing through my body. I grit my teeth trying to control myself. I felt the need for their blood. I wanted to bath in it. I looked to my left and saw that Thelonious moved in front of Lexa and all the rage and aggression that I had been holding back finally broke free from the cage. I lost it. I felt it take over. The rage clouded over any rational thought and everything turned red. I lunged.

* * *

 _*POV Change (Lexa)*_

Gustus did not agree with my plan to have him pretend to be Heda, he wanted to just kill the three of them and be done with it but we still had no information as to why the Sky people were here on our land, what their plans are, or if they were allied with the mountain men. They seemed to not take the women of the Trikru as seriously as they did the men and figured with how large Gustus was that they would believe that he was the Commander.

The two men seemed like leaders of their people and I knew they would be more useful than the girl. My scout reported that she was just stumbling through the woods for miles. Before he knocked her out he told me that she asked if he was real or if she was sleeping. I was not impressed, and I could already tell that she knew nothing of value.

The girl was the first to notice me in the room when she heard me drag my leg across the floor, which made me wonder why the other two men did not notice me the instant that Gustus and the others left the cell. When we made eye contact the past Commanders started to whisper loudly but I could not easily tell what they were saying. A couple of them were whispering something about death, which made no sense. I put it at the back of mind to watch this sky person closely.

I almost lost my composure when the man Thelonious smacked the girl across the face when she yelled at him. I could easily tell that the two didn't trust the girl and that something must have caused this for them to have such caution around her. It worried me greatly that after the slap the girl just stopped everything. She barely moved and only stared blankly ahead showing no emotion before a dangerous gleam returned to her eyes. I was proud to see the girl starting to eye the knife. Maybe she would show skill at being a warrior. I continued to talk to Jaha and Kane to keep their attention on me and not her. It was almost comical to watch as they focused solely on me and not the girl who they had been saying was dangerous if it was me I would have kept her in my line of sight the entire time she was even close to me.

When the girl grabbed the knife both the men moved to be slightly in front of me to obviously try to protect me from her. She didn't seem like the type of person to break her promises but I knew this was going to get very interesting very soon. I almost couldn't stop the bark of laughter that wanted to come out at the thought of those two men trying to protect me.

Thelonious moved a little more to where he was completely in front of me. Before I lost total visual of the girl I was able to see the look in her eye and the murderous rage that was swirling in her dark blue eyes.

The girl let out a massive war cry before she leaped onto Thelonious. Kara tried to stab him in the gut, but he hit her hand out of the way. She delivered a vicious kick to his knee, snapping the bone, causing him to fall with a cry of pain and with a quick slash, cut his throat wide open. The spray of blood hit her across the face and with the added vicious grin on her face made her look like she was suffering from brain sickness. She then started to stab the man, all the while laughing.

I couldn't believe how quickly that was over. I was hoping that the man based on his size would put up a decent fight but I was woefully underwhelmed though the way Kara seemed to enjoy that slightly worried me.

The other man Kane seemed shocked for a minute before he leaped and jumped on the girl knocking the knife out of her hand in the process and started to rain blow after blow to the girl's face. She started screaming and when she opened her eyes once again I swore I saw a flash of red but it might have been the blood from the rest of her face. The girl threw her head forward and hit Kane in the face. I heard the crunch of bone from his nose.

She knocked Kane off of her and rolled on top of him before screaming "BLOOD MUST HAVE BLOOD KANE AND YOU WON'T STOP ME!" before she returned the favor by landing blow after to blow to Kane's face unprotected face.

I had all the information I needed from the two men and one of them was dead so the deal was partially fulfilled. I rushed forward and grabbed a hold of the girl and threw her off of Kane. The girl flew backward landing near the wall. When she hit the ground, she quickly rolled back onto her feet keeping on the balls of her feet with her hands up to help protect her face from any blow thrown her way. She growled low in her throat, the sound guttural, and her pupils were blown wide, the blue barely visible.

It was very easy to tell that the girl was lost in her bloodlust. Her face was covered in blood. It looked like her lip was split and her nose was pouring out blood. The rest of the blood on her face and chest were covered in the blood of the man named Thelonious. Kane's blood was dripping down her hands and arms and it looked like she had split a knuckle or two when throwing some punches.

I held up my hands hoping to come off as non-threatening and said "Calm."

The girl Kara only stared at me and then tilted her head a bit, her hands tightening slightly, hard enough now that her knuckles still visible were turning white. I could see that she least heard my words which was a good sign.

"You showed skill Skai gona. You have received your blood. Please calm down now. I promise no one will harm you for what you have done here today," I spoke to her in my calmest voice, hoping to make it through the bloodlust she had built herself up in.

The girl only continues to stare but she did shake her head a little and I could tell that some clarity returned to her gaze. Her shoulders dropped slightly as well as her firsts just enough that her face was fully visible now.

I heard the gate open behind me but didn't turn to look because I knew it was Gustus and the other guards.

Kara looked at those that had just entered, her shoulders tightened up and her firsts raised once more before quickly returning her gaze back to meet my eyes. She pointed over the Kane and growled out "Blood must have blood, Lexa. You said as such, the Commander said as such! I am owed my blood. I want it. Give it to me!"

"True Kara that is what was said but we need him to live. You can have your blood later. Will that work for you?"

Her eyes became hard as ice. The blue I could see had now darkened and seemed to be swirling like hard tides and undercurrents of the sea and I couldn't tell if I was imagining things because every once in a while, a quick flash of red would appear in her eyes. I had a feeling that her eyes were, in fact, changing colors but I couldn't remember for the life of me what could cause such a thing.

 **Protect her young Commander.**

I froze. The voice was soft and barely above a whisper, but I knew who that was. That was the first time I had ever heard her voice. The voice of the first Commander. She never spoke. Anytime when I would meet with the Commanders she would be there watching everything with dark eyes, but she never spoke to have even heard a single word would have been enough for me but this? My body was thrumming with the pleasure of knowing she had even spoken because from what I have heard she didn't even speak to the previous Commander.

Who was this girl? What was so special about her? I mean she was gorgeous no doubt about that but besides being bloodthirsty I couldn't think of anything that could set her apart from the other Sky People.

The sound of something wet gurgled and when I looked down I could only watch as blood bubbled out of Thelonious's mouth, occurring to me that Thelonious was not, in fact, dead yet. I was so confused. I could not understand how he still breathed. There were multiple stab wounds covering his chest and with his slit throat, he should be dead.

The girl was on him before I realized what had happened and began landing blow and blow to his face. Her blows were heavy and vicious, each blow echoing in the silent cell. Then quickly she changed locations and punched him twice in the throat and then moved once more to his chest and hit a couple of where she had stabbed before moving back to his face.

The death rattle sounded loudly through the room and I could only watch as his eyes glazed over and he was finally dead. Kara wasn't done though and continued with her onslaught on the man. Continuing to throw punch after punch and blow after blow to the dead man's face. The sob that breaks free from her body was loud and her whole body shook with it.

She released a loud roar before screaming in Jaha's face "I lost 7 years! 7! I lived locked in my mind, in my body because I was deemed dangerous by you!"

"I hate you!"

"I hope you find no peace!"

Then more incoherent screaming and sobbing. None of my men moved and were slightly surprised by the vicious attack on a dead man's body. Kane was unconscious. All we could do was stare at this girl who had become this giant mess. The punches were starting to slow.

"What should we do Heda?" Gustus asked.

This was the wrong thing to do. The girl stopped her never-ending assault on the dead man's body and looked up. She then seemed to realize that others were in the room with her. I finally got a good look at the girl. She was covered in red. Like a demon. Like a ripa. Her eyes seemed glazed over and I knew that she was gone to common thought. The blue in her eyes was barely there, it looked like her eyes were just black at this point.

She looked first at Gustus and then the men surrounding me. She bared her teeth and growled at the others in the room. She must have bit her tongue or cheek at some point because her teeth were covered in blood. She seemed to map out a war plan because she then looked around the room, finally finding what she was looking for she leaped to her right before jumping back up. My knife was grasped tightly, all of my guards grabbed their swords ready to remove them. Kara barely stopped watching the men behind me before her eyes shift to me. She takes measured steps back to me before she throws me back behind her before slowly pushing me back closer to the wall behind us.

I quickly yelled _"HOD OP!"_ my men stopped advancing forward. Gustus seemed very reluctant to do so but after a quick look, he stopped. All of the men were tense and ready to attack her at a moments notice.

Kara had her arm wrapped around my back keeping me pressed against her back as she slowly backed away. Her eyes quickly scanning my men in the room. Her other hand held the knife that was facing away from her body in an overhand grip ready to hit anything that came too close. Her breathing was very erratic and slightly forced.

"Too close"

"Too many"

"Need to protect"

"Stay strong. Remember."

She kept muttering these four things continuously. Like a mantra. Each time she went through it the more guttural her voice became.

I was trying to think of something to get her to calm down when she slowly stopped talking and looked down her eyes seemed plagued with unmistakable sadness. I looked down as well and saw that Kane had hit her with some needle filled with fluid.

"Grab him, Gustus!" I shouted.

Gustus rushed forward and pulled Kane up, moved his arms under Kane's and then reached up and put his hands behind Kane's head. I looked back to Kara when I felt her arm move away from my back and she fell heavily to the floor, jumping back to not be hit when she went to the floor.

Her eyes lost the deranged look and settled to looking glazed and as though she was sleeping. She leaned back against my legs and closed her eyes. The heat she gave was higher than it should have been. Her breathing evened out and shock flooded through my system that she was already asleep. I gently grabbed her shoulders before stepping back and laying her down, the thought of just stepping back and letting her fall to the ground seemed very wrong to me.

When she was safely on the ground, I grabbed my knife before walking over and handing it to one of the guards behind Gustus. I waited till Gustus had taken off the pauldron and placed it on my shoulder. Then I finally allowed my emotions to break through the gate I had built, my anger burned through my veins like fire, I moved forward and hit Kane hard in the face with a punch. "What did you do Sky Person!"

He didn't respond so I punched him in the face once again. "Tell me!" I roared in his face. Kane took a deep breath before slowly exhaling.

"Kara is not healthy mentally. What I just gave her is a medication that she is sometimes given to keep her calm, though what I just gave her is a higher dosage than she is normally given because she was too far gone to try without it. I have seen this before and it doesn't get better, this was the best thing to do. She can be very dangerous when she gets like that. I mean you just witnessed her kill Thelonious like it was nothing and then continue to stab and beat him after he was dead!" Kane was breathing heavily, and his eyes look anguished before something seemed to dawn on him.

"You're the Commander."

"It is clear that certain things we will need to revisit but I believe that your intentions were honorable. Your desire for peace is true. _Breik em au._ " The guards moved and unlocked his shackles.

"Your friend here will be sent back to your people and told what happened. I shall keep the girl. You will find me this assassin. A message must be sent. Blood must have blood."

" _Gustus grab the girl and bring her with you. We are going to my tent."_

Gustus just gave me a disapproving look but still grabbed the girl. The other man was picked up and we all left the cell together leaving Kane behind as he ranted and raved about the girl Gustus was holding.

* * *

Revised 12/26/17


	4. Long into an Abyss

I like writing this story. I am enjoying it more than I did writing my last one. So I guess that's good. It also feels slightly therapeutic so that is a plus. Kara won't be very repentant about what she does. Also, I hated the ALIE arc so I nipped that in the bud. Shit ain't going down in my story. Fuck all of them. Especially because they bring Lexa back and take her away again.

Also, remember that Kara has been locked up since she was 10 years old so she doesn't know certain things that happened like Octavia being Bellamy's sister and Jake Griffin being floated.

Leave a comment on what you think I should do to improve the story. It would greatly help because sometimes I feel like I am doing a shit job and if you see something that you think needs to be improved send me a message or leave a comment.

I own nothing except Kara.

* * *

Chapter Three

I slowly came too. The fog was back. I felt like I was swimming in tar. It felt kind of hard to move. Everything was once again slow. I started to slightly panic that getting off the drug was a dream. That it didn't happen, and I didn't get the revenge on Jaha. I jumped out of the bed, my vision turning red. The instant I tried to stand I fell back onto the bed, my body still feeling like I was moving through tar. A shout of anger escaped my lips as I scrunched up my face and rubbed my eyes hard, trying to get my mind clear of the fog. It didn't work and I just let myself fall fully back onto the bed with my feet still touching the ground. My arms fell onto the bed as I stared at the top of the tent.

I felt something fall down my face and realized I was crying. A tidal wave of self-hatred crashed over me. I hated to cry. Crying would mean that I was weak and that I couldn't handle the things happening in my life and I knew I was stronger than that, this pushing more anger in my system. I looked up when I heard someone come closer to me and saw that it was Lexa. Her green eyes filled with concern while she kept her face blank.

I could see that Lexa was talking to me now, her lips moving. I hated that it felt like there was cotton in my ears. I wanted to hear her voice, I already really liked the way it sounded. I moved my hand a little and felt pain. I looked down and saw that my arms were covered in dried blood. How the hell did I not notice this. My knuckles looked like I went a round with a brick wall or something rough like bark. I started to slowly clench and unclench my first allowing the pain to make it easier to think. The pain went back to a dull throb.

I felt something lightly touch my shoulder sending pleasant thrums through my body, but my hand shot out and hit something soft. I looked up and saw Lexa looking at me with sad eyes and remorse sent a shock wave through my body.

Shit. I did it again. I hear the sound of metal being released and look up to see that the guards that came in with Lexa drew their swords.

"I didn't mean to! I swear!"

I started to crawl back on the bed pushing myself as far away as possible from the men behind Lexa. She yelled something at the men holding her hand up to get them to stop. I felt I was crying again. Lexa brought her other hand up with her hands open and facing me. She started to calmly talk to me. The fog cleared a little and I could process what she was saying to me.

"It is ok Kara kom Skaikru. You were just startled and reacted correct?" Her gaze was steady and calm. No hostility was present or anger only calmness and understanding.

I took a deep breath and shakily let it out. I could only give a quick jerk of my head in agreement. I leaned against the headboard of the bed trying to control my breathing and using the medicine in my system to try and further calm me.

She said a few more words in a language I couldn't understand. At least I think it was a different language. It might have been English, but my head was buzzing again and the drug was crashing back to my senses with quick familiarity. I felt my eyes close and the fog took me under once again keeping me calm and locked inside my mind once again.

* * *

I woke sometime later hearing voices in another room. I looked around and realized I was in a tent. Why does this keep happening? I should've just killed Kane. I know that piece of shit hit me with something. I don't know how he had medicine on his person or even why he would, maybe he was out looking for me it didn't matter.

I slowly got up out of bed and stood, standing to my full height as I tried to loosen my body. My clothes pulled a little and I realized I was covered in dried blood and it wasn't just my arms. Well, that was new. Well, it was technically the second time I have come too covered in blood.

Why was I covered in blood? Then I remembered. The memories slammed into me. I could see myself grabbing the knife and stabbing Thelonious. Well fuck. I don't think I can go back to camp anymore. Whatever. Maybe I can stay with the grounders. Lexa seemed pretty chill for a servant girl or whatever she was. I mean I did follow what the large man had told us to do and I may have only gotten one of the other two but that had to count for something. Well it should as long as they don't bring up how I lost control afterwards.

Was she a servant? Shit. I can't remember. I kind of remember someone saying she was the commander but I don't know if I imagined that. I could believe it though. Why did I put her behind me though? Was I scared that the men would hurt her? They were her people, not the mention that there was four of them in the room all with swords while I only had a small dagger. I should have realized they wouldn't. I didn't trust Kane and Thelonious to do that though. No, I don't trust them with anyone, well I don't trust anyone anymore but especially Jaha and to a lesser degree Kane.

I wonder where she went. I don't think I hurt her earlier when I accidentally punched her. I am lucky though. Her guards could have killed me for what I did, and they would be justified.

The drug was still making it hard for me to focus and listen. I could feel it pulsing through my veins. Keeping me calm and relaxed only slightly less than earlier when I woke up. I opened the flap of the tent door thing and found myself in a bigger room/tent room. I wonder how many rooms the tent has? Is this like some tent mansion? That sounds so cool. One wall seemed to have a door and I made my way over to it ignoring how all the talking around me finally stopped. My mind started to wander.

I started to walk to the entrance of the tent when a soothing voice called my name, bringing me back to the present. Turning around and I am shocked to see Clarke of all people here with Lexa, one of the men from the cell, and a black woman who had tattoos on her face and some scaring.

"Your tattoos are so fucking cool. How'd you get them? Did you have to kill someone? I have done that. Do I get some? Because that would be so cool! What's your name?"

I almost bounced forward in my eagerness to have my questions answered. My only answer was the woman just giving me a dark look and turning and saying something to Lexa. Lexa didn't respond but I could the amusement on her face.

"Her name is Indra. You should be cautious, or she might kill you for your insolence, Kara." Lexa finally told me. I then realized how rude what I had just asked her was and felt some guilt for what I had done.

I bowed my head slightly to Indra, "Oh my bad. My thoughts aren't all there. I meant no offense Indra." I quickly told her. The glare she had on her face while looking at me lowered in intensity slightly before Indra turned her gaze back to Clarke. I raised my head once more before tilting it to the side a little. Why the fuck is Clarke here?

"Clarke, how'd you get here? Did you get captured too?" I couldn't help but ask. Clarke just looked like she had seen a ghost. She was deathly pale and turning a slight green color. Her knuckles tightened the longer she stared at me.

"Kara what did you do?" She managed to get out through grit teeth but I could hear the horror in her tone.

Shit. I looked down and remembered all the blood. This is not going to go well. Maybe I could back away. I start to slowly take small steps backward towards what I think is the entrance to the tent.

"Oh, you know. Just went for a walk. Nothing too major I promise you," I tell her trying to come off as calm as possible but on the inside, I am starting to slowly freak out. The woman, Indra grabs the grip of her sword and walks closer to me.

"Stop trying to leave Sky person," She quickly orders me. My back goes straight, and I stop moving.

"Yes Ma'am."

"KARA WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!" Clarke screams at me, finally losing her patience. The drug is still making everything fuzzy enough that the sudden loud noise doesn't truly scare, though a small part of me is agitated that she even yelled in the first place.

"Blood must have blood, Clarke. I delivered the justice I was owed to Thelonious Jaha. I hated that man for what he had done to me. I don't see how you could even have a problem with it. I mean you have killed more than I have," Everyone was silent for a second. Clarke gasped. Her face turning red in her anger, while her firsts were clutched so hard that her knuckled were white.

"Why did you do it, Kara? You aren't one of the grounders, why would you even agree to it. You came from the ark the same as me how are you ok with what you have done?!" Clarke all but whispered the first part finally losing her temper and yelling the last sentence at me.

Is this bitch serious? I could feel cool waves of the fog battling the fire that was my anger. The fog was starting to lift and my anger took the forefront of my mind burning through my body like fire. I started to slowly walk towards Clarke. I still had no shoes and could feel the cuts I had on my feet sting a little with each step I took but was easily ignored. When I was within a couple feet of Clarke I started to circle her. Like a predator would their prey. Clarke made sure to follow me and always keep me in her line of sight.

"Do you know what it is like to be locked inside of one's mind? To tell a child barely older than 10 that she didn't need to kill her parents because they would have taken care of it? That even though she had filed a complaint and told someone the person who did the report said that everything was fine. That my child mind just made up the things that they claimed their parents did. You don't. You little miss princess had a wonderful childhood, a loving mother who was in charge of medical and then a doting father in charge of engineering. Your childhood was filled with smiles and laughs while mine? Mine Clarke was filled with empty promises, vicious words, and beatings. You know nothing about me, yet you have the audacity to judge me. I was fine with letting Kane live but that man Thelonious Jaha? NO! He had Abby put me on that medicine! He told me that if I didn't tell him what really happened then he would have me floated! A fucking 10-year-old. He believed that because I killed someone I 'loved' just imagine what I would do to those that I didn't know. A child, Clarke was too dangerous. I LOST SEVEN YEARS! Locked inside some fucking white-walled prison!"

Clarke was spinning in a circle trying to follow me, so I couldn't get behind her. Much of what I had just said seemed to made her look slightly guilty. By the end, she seemed to regret what she had said to me.

"Kara." A voice breaks through the anger soothing my mind. My head snaps over to where she is still sitting on her throne. While her face was still one of arrogance but her eyes were calm.

"Calm." Lexa orders. Her voice breaks through the haze that has taken over. I slowly back away from Clarke and stand a little closer to Lexa and Indra. Indra doesn't say anything but gives me a look that says she is watching me and is not against gutting me where I stand.

"Commander you don't understand she is dangerous. Why haven't you locked her up? She even killed someone. Look she is even still covered in his blood. How are you ok with this? How are any of you ok with this?" Clarke spits out.

"I am ok with it because she was given her justice. Thelonious Jaha paid for his crimes with his life. This is our way Klark kom Skaikru. Be warned of the way which you speak to me, remember I am the one who will decide the fate of your people. You may represent your people, but I have no problem giving the 300 hundred warriors you burned redemption for your actions." Lexa calmly stated.

Clarke looked cowed and let out a deep sigh.

"I am sorry Commander, seeing her here gave me quite the shock. We have more important things to discuss."

Lexa leaned forward on her throne, "Now what is it you wished to tell me."

"I can turn the reapers back into men."

Indra got really pissed at that statement and looked like she wanted to kill Clarke. I thought about stopping her only because hasn't really done anything to me, but she did keep giving me the medication and she was treating me like some sort of monster.

By the time Lexa told her to stop. Indra was now standing behind Clarke instead of to the left of Lexa. She was closer to me than she was to Clarke, almost close enough to grab me.

"Wait so you're the Commander, right?" I was still really confused about what was going on.

"Yes, I am the Commander of the 12 unified clans. My people call me Heda and so should you." Lexa clarified.

I stood tall and puffed out my chest before bowing at the waist after slamming my right fist over my heart.

"Then it is truly an honor to formally meet you, Heda," straightening up once more before my face split into a giant grin while looking at Lexa.

"I haven't ever been in charge of anything before. I am sorry for the disrespect I have shown you in the time I have been here. Oh and for hitting you earlier. I hit you right? You scared me. I don't like it when others touch me when I am not aware. It's an automatic response. You can ask blondy over there about it. I hit Wells in the throat once. Though I did warn him not to touch me."

I turned and looked at Clarke. My eyes surprisingly clear for once. "How is Wells? I never really got to apologize to him."

Clarke looked real pained for a second before her face was calm once more. "He was murdered by a girl named Charlotte."

"Oh well, that certainly is unfortunate. My condolences. I think you were good friends. Or were not? My memories are iffy." I felt bad for her. She was obviously still hurt about his death. Maybe it was the first time she had seen something like that.

"It will get easier. I promise."

With those words, she snapped. "You don't know anything. The only people who were close to you were your parents and you killed them! Any guilt that you feel from that is your fault. It was probably easier because you're insane." Her eyes were lit up like cold blue flames. A blue so much lighter than my own.

"I'M NOT INSANE!" I roared at her. A red haze clouding my vision, I went to take a step forward before Lexa shouts "That's enough!"

Her words break through the anger and I was able to take a deep breath and calm myself. I felt numb after she said that. I let the fog take over my feelings for a while. I obviously need to work on how I talk to others. Not like it is my fault. I have barely had anyone to talk to for almost my whole life.

Lexa's eyes were lit like green fire and she seemed very close to losing her temper, though a small part of me really wanted to see that happen, I knew now was not the time to do it. Indra seemed very close to just killing on of us or that she wanted to hit something. I hope she wants to hit Clarke. That would be ok. Lexa stood from her throne and walked down the steps. The hell did she bring steps?

Focus! This is not the time for you to get distracted Kara!

She stopped close to Clarke. "Let us get back on topic. Klark you say you can turn reapers back into men. What do you mean?"

"We found Lincoln. I can take you to him. I can show you."

Lexa stepped even closer to Clarke and stopped when she entered Clarke's own personal space. I didn't like it. She needed to back away. To close.

"You will show us. If you are speaking the truth we shall discuss a treaty between our two people. If you are lying you shall die." With that, she turned around and walked up to me. I noticed that she was shorter than me. I was almost was a full head taller than her. It felt like she was taller though and somehow I had to almost look up at her. It was very confusing and very impressive.

"Kara we are going and you shall come with us. If this proves false then I will have all the sky people leave but before we send them off I will need to discuss something with you but that is only if Clarke's words prove false."

What the fuck was she talking about. How the hell did I miss this? I mean I thought I heard something about the ark coming down but I never heard any confirmation. I mean I should have realized something like this happened when I was in the cell with Marcus and Thelonious but I thought it was just part of the Ark and not the whole thing. Shit. I need to respond.

I bowed my head a little but kept eye contact. "Yes, Heda."

She gave me a nod of approval.

"Gustus, Indra grab some guards we are going to follow Klark and see for ourselves if she speaks the truth."

"Oh, that's his name?" Clarke just turned and gave me a look of disgust. While Lexa, she just lifted one eyebrow at me before turning and striding out of the tent. I followed a little behind Lexa but was in front of Indra. I didn't want to walk in from of her but when I tried to stay behind everyone she wouldn't let me. I am just going to keep a positive attitude that she will not stab me in the back.

We walked for some time before we finally made our way to the drop shit. The whole area around the ship was black with ash and soot and filled with burned bodies. It looked nothing like I remembered it and for the life of me I can't remember when this happened. Did I miss this? Maybe I was gone longer than I thought I was when I went for my walk.

"Holy shit." I couldn't stop the words from escaping from my mouth. Lexa for a second even looked like she wanted to cry but instead, her gaze turned hard every part of her body almost seemed to be strained. A deep sorrow filled my entire body the longer I looked and the longer I looked the more I burned and dead bodies I found, my stomach began to turn and I felt the need to throw up.

"Follow me," Clarke tells us. I let them keep walking in front of me and let Indra pass me. I waited for everyone to climb up to the second level before I joined them. When I got up I could see everyone was really tense. They were all looking at the guy on the floor. He looked like death warmed over. Though I am pretty sure he is in fact dead, he did not seem to be breathing.

Lexa took in everything that was happening in the room before she finally turned and nodded to Indra who gave the order. "Kill them all."

My heart stopped and I was very tempted to jump back down the hatch and run, knowing that I would probably never make it in the wilderness. I would rather my death be from my own doing than from the hands of another. I remembered what Lexa had told me but I did not trust her word just yet.

Everyone took their weapons out and Bellamy lifted his rifle up. Even Abby was there and she had a shock stick out. I felt my whole world focus on the shock stick. Shock sticks always hurt. I could feel the electricity shoot through my body from a distant memory from a time I had attacked a guard who tried to grab me to move me out of my cell. I found myself locked in my memory. That was till I heard Lexa's voice break through and bring my back to the present.

"You lied and you are out of time," her voice was even but you could hear the steel undertone.

I look over at Octavia and she looks devastated about this man Lincoln's death, a small part of me wants to go over and comfort her and try and make her feel better but I know that I can't. Then my gaze shifts back to Abby who stabs Lincoln in the chest with the shock baton. Lexa and the other grounders look confused at what she is doing.

"Hit him again," Clarke tells Abby.

This time it works, and he inhales deeply, and relief fills my body knowing that Octavia still has someone she deeply cares about back from the dead. All the people with Lexa looked amazed and looking at Indra she looked like she had just seen a miracle performed, though it probably was to them. I mean how many times had they seen someone be brought back from the dead.

The gasp made me zero in on Abby who was looking at me horrified and fearful. "Kara, what are you doing here? What happened to you? Is any of that your blood? Are you hurt?" Abby asks as she slowly comes closer to me.

I instinctively back away from her. Not because I was afraid or her…well maybe a small part of me was afraid. She was a doctor and though I would sometimes talk to her about how I was feeling or handling things she was one of the people who give me the medicine and made sure I took it. I wanted to like her I really did because I knew that she was just trying to help me and she thinks the pills are helping but anytime I tried to explain how they made me feel she just told me that that is what they are supposed to do. When I had to have the medicine increased she explained to me that what she had originally given to me only worked on young children and that because I was having more violent outbursts I needed more.

I just shook my head and kept backing away from her. I bumped into someone behind me. I turned and saw it was Indra, she lifted her eyebrow at me. I muttered a quick apology while she just gave me another look, this one of slight concern and pulled me behind her. She still had her sword out and looked like she was thinking about using it to protect me which filled me with slight relief. I was getting closer to hatch for the floor below. Lexa looked greatly concerned at my behavior.

I had a bad feeling. I knew she was probably going to want me to come back. I couldn't this time. They would execute me. I know that I am finally over the age of 18. I don't want to die. I haven't lived since before I was 10. Hell, the last happy memory was probably when I was around 5 and my dad had gotten me the pocket knife because you can never be too careful. I used that same knife 5 years later. He probably wouldn't have gotten me the knife if he knew that I was going to eventually use it on them.

I give her a negative shake of my head. "I don't want to go back," the words came out more as a whisper than anything else.

"Kara you don't need to run. I am not going to hurt you, I promise. We can go back to Camp Jaha and get you better. Everything will be fine," Abby tried to reassure me.

When I heard the 'get you better' I bolted. I jumped down the hatch to the floor below landing lightly on my feet and pushed off. I ran towards the entrance of the drop ship as those behind me screamed my name. One voice yelling louder than the others and a very large part of me wanted to turn back and go to her but a small part of me knew that she might just let Abby do what she needed.

The guards tried to grab me as I sprinted past the entrance but they missed. I didn't even slow down or turn back and continued to run. A dark haze came over my mind, calming me down, and letting me focus on running. I couldn't let them take me. I would rather die than go back taking those drugs or be tried for killing another man especially one as important as Chancellor Jaha.

I don't know how long I ran but it was for a while and when I finally stopped I could feel a massive stitch on my side. It burned trying to get enough oxygen into my body. Everything now hurt. Simply lifting my hand up to wipe my the sweat off my face burned.

I fell to my knees in the middle of the meadow I had stopped in. I felt all my emotion rushing through my body like a hurricane. Ebbing and flowing. Pushing and shoving. Crashing and destroying any rational thought. I wanted to cry and curl into a ball and never move again. I wanted to yell out my pain for all the heavens to hear. I wanted to stand and then run away, to flee from everything that I have ever known. I wanted to punch trees, rip out plants from the ground, and dig into the dirt. I wanted to stand back up and dig my toes into the dirt like I did on one of the first days back on earth. A very small part of me wanted to just end everything so I would not have to continue to live this way and to truly be free.

I wanted to turn back the clock on my life and go back to when I was little when my father was still my idol and would take care of me and read me bedtime stories. When I wanted to be just like them and protect and serve the people of the Ark before my father started turning a blind eye to what my mother was doing to me. I wanted to go back to Lexa's tent and have her tell me that everything is going to be ok. She was one of the only people who has told me this that I actually want to believe. I wanted so many things and I knew that I would not be getting what I want.

The sounds of light foot steps and the chainmail alerted me to someone coming closer. I didn't look up from where I was staring at the dirt in front of me. I saw the black boots stop right in front of me.

I looked up a little and was slightly shocked to see Indra. Did she follow me? That isn't weird at all. Maybe she is here to kill me? No she in a weird way protected me earlier from Abby.

I quickly jumped up and wiped the tears from my face as fast as possible. I hate when people see me cry. Makes me feel weaker than I already am. I threw a big Cheshire cat smile on my face to try and force my body to believe the lie that I was trying to convey. "What's up Indra? Gonna tell me how you got your tattoos now?" I barely made those words out before the gates opened once more and I was lost to my emotions.

Indra honestly looked like she wanted to be anywhere else than here next to me. I fell back down to my knees and stopped fighting the tears and went back to just sobbing. I kept my head in hands each sob rocking my whole body. At least this way she doesn't have to watch me break into more pieces, she only has to hear me break into more pieces which is honestly not any better. Her hand lightly touched my shoulder and was able to hold off the reaction of hitting back. She just gripped my shoulder and I started to cry even harder. I haven't had time to do this. I couldn't remember the last time I even cried this hard and a small part of me was happy that I had someone here with me while this happened.

Indra sat next to me just holding my shoulder for who knows how long.

When I finally stopped crying my whole body was drained. My mind for the first time without the use of drugs was quiet. It was tired oh so very tired. I closed my eyes and just listened to the sounds of the forest for a couple minutes more. I could hear the creak of tree limbs, small animals making noise, birds chirping, and Indra as she breathed.

I rubbed my hands all over my face, trying to dry my face a bit. I knew I looked terrible. I mean hell I felt terrible.

"Thanks," I mumbled out.

Indra gave my shoulder another hard squeeze before letting go.

"My dear child you have gone through many trials. I myself do not know what you have faced so far but I can tell that you carry them with you. I can see it in the way your shoulders slightly hunch and I have only known you for less than a day. Heda has told me what transpired in the cell with her. She has told me some of the things you have said. Some of the things you have done. I can see that you have the spirit of a warrior in your heart. You weren't meant for the stars. My people are strong. We fight every day of our lives because we must. We kill because we must. You have killed because you must. This doesn't make you sick or insane."

Indra took a deep breath before she continued.

"I could sense the fear in you when you entered the room with the doctor. It came off of you in waves. I was not surprised when you ran from the room. Even now I can see the fear that plagues you Kara of the sky people. You must remember something about fear. It makes us do terrible things that we would normally never do. I will never admit this again so take comfort in it. I am scared of what your people can do. I fear that your people are just like the Mountain Men. This fear makes me want to kill the rest of your people for this. If you face this fear though, you will become stronger."

"You are weak now because you let this fear be the thing that drives you. I like to say that love is a weakness. In some ways I am right. Love makes even the fiercest and toughest warrior soft but in other ways? In other ways, it makes us stronger beyond measure. I fight for the love of my people and for the love I have for my Heda. I would die myself before I let harm befall her. That is how great the love I have for my Commander is. You are weak because you have no one to give this love too. You have nothing to fight for. You are like a fear-ridden dog. You are dangerous because fearful dogs will bite anything with no warning. No love was given to you. Only harsh hands and words and poor treatment."

Sweet Jesus this woman went in for the kill, didn't she?

I let out a ragged breath. Hitching multiple times to stop the tears from returning once more.

"You aren't lying about the comparison to a fearful dog. I used to be hit with the shock stick while in the skybox because anytime one of the guards would try to move me I would strike out. The guards never learned it was better not to touch me. They had to touch me because I would go so deep into my mind I wouldn't listen to what was happening around me. I knew that when they came it was time for my meds or I would have an appointment with Doctor Griffin. Earlier when Doctor Griffin activated the shock stick my whole body almost seemed to lock."

I looked up from the ground before looking Indra right in the eye.

"I have been a broken person for a very long time, longer than I care to admit. I was placed on the drugs after I placed two guards in intensive care because they were trying to take me to take me to my weekly therapy session with Doctor Griffin. They weren't even being threating to me at all. I just reacted when one of them grabbed my arm gently. I had known as a small child that any touch was bad. That touch meant pain. You are one the first people who has touched me without me knowing you were going to that I didn't strike out at. Many of the people from the Ark act like I am about to attack you the instant you are within my reach. Hell even Octavia still does it from time to time."

I took another deep breath before looking down and away.

"The medicine I was placed on. I haven't been myself for a very long time and I don't even know who I am. What they gave me? It made me just a shell of a person. I was there but I wasn't. I could eat, move around, talk, but if you didn't interact I would just sit there and stare at a wall and not notice as time slowly crawled by. I was locked in this room in my mind that I could never leave while my body was equally locked away. This is the first time in years that I am free Indra. The first time I can think for myself and make my own decisions and what do I do? I killed someone and not just anyone. The Chancellor himself Thelonious Jaha. I mean don't get me wrong I don't regret it. Thelonious Jaha had reviewed my case and when he read about how violent the crime I committed was and talked to me. He decided within one conversation that I was too dangerous to be left to my own thoughts and because I was under 18 he couldn't have me floated though he did threaten it. None of the people I talked to ever tried to find the reason why I did what I did or why I was attacking people all the time. They just assumed it was because I was naturally violent."

"I felt so betrayed when we came down and the first thing I am told was that those Shit heads had sent my medicine down with me. I didn't even understand what was happening. Bellamy said he wasn't going to give me it but then I hit Wells. I didn't have any friends, well maybe Octavia we had gotten pretty close. You might even like her. I had no one to say that I didn't need it. Clarke wasn't wrong when she said I didn't have any friends or loved ones because I killed them. I had only my parents. No one wanted to be my friend and I didn't want to be there's. It didn't help that they didn't like that I was privileged and so no one talked to me. I had no one and the only ones I had? They were terrible. When I killed them? I enjoyed myself. I had killed those that had given birth to me and I was happy that I had done it. I have had blood on my hands for years and I guess you and everyone can now see it." Looking down at my hands still covered in the dried blood.

I stood up and Indra followed suit. I held out my arm and she just gave it a look before grasping my forearm. I shook it once and then let go.

"I feel free now Indra but I am worried that I have ruined my chance to remain free for what I did with Jaha. They don't really know how violently I killed him yet or even the story but I know when Marcus is taken back they will. I will probably be executed or placed back on the drugs." I looked up at the sky and

"By the way Indra why are you here? Not that I mind but I am curious."

Indra just gave me a hard look. "We are in reaper territory and we have a bunch of scouts out looking for you."

"Well glad you found me instead of some random scout. Can only imagine how that would have gone down." Indra just nodded her head before she started to walk away.

She stopped at the edge of the clearing and turned to look at me again.

"You know that even though you are still weak, you will become strong if you stay with Lexa and my clan. The tattoos I have I received when I decided to become a warrior. Others have them as well usually warriors get them to symbolize a battle they won or some lesson that they learned. I could talk to someone about getting you your own if you want to stay around."

I couldn't help the relieved smile that came across my face. I jogged to catch up Indra.

"I would love that! That would be so cool."

The possibility of staying with Indra's people opened the door to so many things.

I could finally have something of my own to work for. It made me think of when I was younger and I looked to my father as someone close to God. He was what I wanted to be when I was older. I wanted to make him proud but then he started to ignore me. Started to be at work more and more. The longer this went on the less time at home he spent and if he was? He would just fight with mom. They would just scream and yell at each other. It got worse when mom started to drink more. He didn't like what she was doing. She could get away with it because she wasn't as high a level guard as he was.

Indra and I walked for almost half an hour before we were crossing a stream. She was letting me cross first which didn't seem odd. I was locked in my own thoughts of the past when I felt myself being shoved and the water shocked my system. I quickly jumped up ready to beat the shit out of something when I saw her smug face.

"WHAT THE HELL INDRA!"

"You were starting to stink and you were still covered in blood. We are less than 10 minutes from camp. Figured this would be easiest." Indra seemed way too pleased with herself. Her and her stupid smirk.

She fucking pushed me into a fucking stream. She pushed me. Me! Into a fucking stream.

I just stood there contemplating this odd turn of events when she pushed me again and because I didn't expect it I fell back in.

"Quick scrub yourself. I will not wait forever for you."

I didn't even try to understand what was happening and just did what she told me to do. The water just ran red for awhile while I tried to get the blood off of my face, arms, and shirt a little. I probably looked like a crazy person the past day. I am amazed they didn't clean me off while I was out earlier. When the water moving past turned only a slight pink color I decided that it was high time to get out.

"Come. We must discuss some things with Heda." And with this Indra just walked away again at a brisker pace. I ran to catch back up. Eventually, I caught up right when we reached the edge of the grounder camp. I didn't get to really look earlier but now I could see that the thousands of people in the camp.

Sweet Jesus. I pray I don't end up on the wrong side of the sword to these people. They look hella scary.

We finally made it to the biggest tent in the camp. That guy Gustus was outside and opened the flap for us when we passed. I let out a quiet thanks when I passed and he gave me a small nod.

I was still soaking wet. When we got into the tent I saw that Clarke and Lexa were talking.

"You may have your truce. I only ask one thing in return." Lexa said.

"Of course." Replied Clarke.

"Give me the one you call Finn. Our truce begins with his death."

* * *

Revised 12/26/17


	5. Spacewalker

I own nothing.

* * *

Chapter Four

Well, there was that bomb. I just looked at Indra and whispered "Oh shit."

The steel in her eyes returned and she just shook her head. "It is justice. You had yours with Jaha and we will have ours with Finn. Only the boy can pay for what the boy has done."

Nodding my head at her. "I understand, don't worry Indra."

I looked back to Clarke and she looked so shocked that Lexa would ask for such a thing. I might be a little off kilter but at least I didn't kill 18 people. The people I killed served a purpose. They weren't innocent. They were guilty and needed to pay for their crimes against me. I had a feeling that shit was really about to hit the fan.

"Also before you go Clarke. Kara shall also be staying here I feel it would be better for her to be here in my camp than with yours." Lexa finished the meeting off on that note.

"No. You will not keep her. She is one of my people. She will come back with me. You can't have Finn and her. You need to pick one Lexa. You don't get the best of both worlds." Clarke spat out.

Indra grabbed my shoulder again. I leaned into her grip and surprised myself with that action. That is the second time I haven't automatically hit someone when I didn't expect to be touched, it was kind of nice.

I knew what Lexa was going to choose. I could already tell. I felt hurt but I knew that I would have done the same thing. The need for vengeance was strong and something I could totally agree with.

"She can't stay here Lexa. She is dangerous to those around her. At our camp, we have medicine that she needs so she doesn't hurt others and people who know how to handle her when she becomes violent. You don't have those means to do this. You think you know how she gets but you don't. She needs to come back to Camp Jaha." Clarke's eyes are ice cold. I felt the shiver down my spine seeing her face look like that.

I felt like I wanted to cry again. I knew that this wouldn't last. I knew it but I didn't want to believe that it would be this soon. I was hoping for a little longer than just two days.

"Fine. You must give me Finn though. If you don't the truce is over and I will kill every last person in your camp to get to him if he isn't delivered to me. Remember Clarke Blood must have Blood and we will have his debt paid for the deaths of 18 of my people." Lexa harshly replied.

Indra gripped my shoulder harder. I knew it would bruise from how hard she gripped my shoulder. I didn't care though. I was trying to keep myself grounded for the moment. To not have the panic attack that I could feel was building.

If she wasn't holding my shoulder I knew I would have run already. Indra knew it too. She turned and grabbed my other shoulder in an equally hard grip. She made sure I was looking her in the eye before she started talking to me.

"Kara I know you hurt by this but this must be done. My people are owed a debt that must be paid. When it is paid, you will return and then I will teach you how to fight for yourself and to not be afraid. You will be fine." Indra tried to reassure me.

I gave a jerky nod. "I understand Indra. I will go back. Finn owes his life for those he has taken. I won't risk your justice on what I want."

I didn't want to tell them that they might never see me again. I would either be locked up or executed for the murder of Jaha. I felt like the floor was about to give out under me and gravity was trying to crush me.

"You are strong for doing this. You will be a great warrior one day." Indra gave my shoulders one last squeeze before she walked over to Lexa at the table.

"Glad to see you back and very wet Kara." I could tell Lexa was trying to make me feel better, but it didn't really work. I just gave a small smile and looked to see Clarke was now standing next to me.

She gave me a dirty look then grabbed my arm and pulled, her grip tight on my arm almost like she was afraid I would run away which I probably would but whatever. I wanted to hit her so bad for daring to touch me, but I didn't. I knew that it would just be worse when we got to the camp and I had a very bad feeling about what was about to go down. When we got to outskirts of the camp she let go of my arm and just said come on before walking away. As we walked back to Camp Jaha we were joined by two Trikru on horses.

"Dude holy shit! That is the cooling looking mask I have ever seen!" His mask was a legit skull! A skull!

"How did you get it? Will you tell me?" He just turned and looked at me but didn't say anything. His eyes looked so done with me and I literally just opened my mouth.

"Come on please." I couldn't help but beg hoping he would tell me.

"No." Then just kicked his horse so he was leading the group while Clarke and I just stayed in the middle.

Well wasn't he just a fucking killjoy. It wasn't like I was asking his whole life story. I was about to say something to Clarke when I noticed the look on her face and decided it probably wouldn't be the best time to say anything. I had a feeling that if I said anything she would probably say something nasty to me and was not in the mood to be yelled at.

When we reached the gate I felt immense relief at hearing Bellamy yelling and then the gate was open and Clarke was rushing over to Finn saying he shouldn't be outside. My eyes instantly connected with Bellamy's and I couldn't stop the massive grin that spread across my face at seeing him.

"Kara you're ok! I am so glad someone found you. I got so worried when you ran away earlier. I was already terrified when the guards at the gate had said that you left on a walk, especially when you didn't come back and then there was the whole burning of the warriors and I thought you were dead!" Bellamy, I am pretty sure just said that whole thing in like one breathe. He didn't reach out to hug me or do anything. He knew better than to touch me but his eyes were bright in joy and I relaxed just that much more knowing he was respecting my feelings. Just once I wanted to feel some comfort, so I gave him a quick hug and I felt him relax into it. The need to sob once more hit quickly and powerfully but quickly shoved that feeling to back corner of my brain. I didn't want to think like that just yet to not think of how this might be the last time I ever hug him again.

I quickly backed away from him the feeling of a hug still uncomfortable to me and slightly unwelcome.

"Ya, Indra found me. Not sure how but she did. She is actually pretty amazing when she doesn't act like she wants to murder you. So, I mean that is something."

Bellamy just smiled and looked relieved but stiffened when he looked at something behind me.

I looked around and saw that Abby was coming over. I backed up a little. I didn't want her near me. I knew I would be back in the hospital soon or at least some room to do a psych eval on me to see how I was doing but that thought left the instant I saw how her eyes burned with fire. Her entire being shaking with anger and I knew that I was fucked.

"Guards arrest Kara." Abby quickly ordered. She looked pissed. I didn't even have time to think before I was running back towards the gate.

I grabbed the handle and turned the lever to open the gate. I barely had it opened a crack before it was slammed shut. I turned and saw that it was some blonde who forced the gate back closed. I reached back and threw my left first forward. She blocked my arm but pushed it down and away and I didn't have time to stop it before it hit the gate. I let a yell. I backed away grabbing my hand. I kept my back to the gate and watched all the guards around me. I was completely surrounded by them. The only chance I had was to try and climb the gate, it having the places I would need to get over.

I felt my lips pull back showing my teeth and growled. I wouldn't go back. I know I promised Indra but I couldn't. I would rather die than go back to being lost.

"STAY AWAY!" I roared. I pressed further into the gate.

The guards had the shock sticks out now as they came closer. I knew they were going to use them on me. Worst is that I had nowhere to go. I was trapped. I turned around and didn't care that I just showed my back to the guards.

"Help me please!" I screamed at the two on the horses. I reached up and started to pull myself up the fence. I didn't care that I looked weak as I tried to get away and not standing my ground. I could see that the one with the bone mask just grabbed the reins on his horse tighter while the other just had a blank look on his face.

"PLEASE! Don't let them do this!" I could feel the tears running down my face. My hands had just reached the top of the gate and as I went to lift myself over a hand grabbed my foot. When I didn't let go another hand joined in and I lost the fight to their greater strength and was brought harshly to the ground. I couldn't hold back my cry of shock. The air was ripped from my lungs from landing so heavily on my back. I tried to force air into my lungs but it coming out more as a wheeze.

I tried to scramble away from whoever had pulled off the fence only to be roughly forced onto my stomach and someone placed cuffs on my wrists behind my back. I kept screaming and growling at those holding me down. I wouldn't quit without a fight. I tried to throw my head and elbows back to try and clip one of the guards.

Fire ripped through my veins. I felt it in every nerve of my body. I could barely hear the electricity of the shock stick in my back. After another couple seconds of holding it, they removed it. I couldn't move anything. My body felt numb. My mind was screaming though and a very small voice that I could barely hear was yelling very creative death threats.

The guards lifted me up. I could see that the grounders on the other side of the fence just staring at me.

" _Ste yuj skai gona!"_ the one with the bone mask told me. I didn't know what it meant but I felt better hearing it. When I was fully standing my head hung down. I didn't have enough energy to lift it.

I felt fingers dig into my chin and lift my face up. I looked into eyes that burned like fire. I felt the chill go down my spine. I knew I was fucked. Her eyes looked so much like those of her daughter that you could never contest where she received it from.

Doctor Griffin lifted up her other hand and I saw the needle and syringe. I found my last bit of strength and threw my head forward. The guards holding me thought I was too weak and that was their mistake as by my sudden move they released their grip in their surprise.

I hear her cry of pain I felt so much satisfaction hearing it. It made up for what they were about to do to me. I was hit with the shock stick again and couldn't do more than groan. The guard held it for at least 30 seconds and that was one of the longest 30 seconds of my life. When they finally stopped I could barely keep my eyes open. I felt my heart in chest pounding. I felt slight twitches in my back around the area where I was hit with the shock stick.

At this point, I realized I was on my knees and the only thing holding me up was the pair of guards behind me. I tilted my head up and looked around. I could see that Bellamy was being restrained by a couple of guards as well. He didn't know what I had done. If he knew then he wouldn't respond the way he is right now. He would condemn me for this.

Something sharp being jabbed into my neck took my attention and I turned my eyes back to the front and realized Abby had finally gotten the drug into my system. I barely had to respond before my eyes rolled back and I was consumed by the black.

* * *

When I woke up the first time, I felt not truly foggy but like I hadn't gotten enough sleep. I quickly noticed I couldn't move my body. I went to pull my arms up and realized I couldn't. I quickly looked down and saw that my arms were strapped down by thick leather straps. Fear gripped my body and my heart started to beat faster.

I started screaming and pulling at the binds. At this point, it wasn't even a scream but more like a roar. I felt the straps biting into my wrists. Felt warmth run down and fall off. I kept trashing in the bed, throwing my body around trying to escape. My ears were ringing from my screams.

I opened my eyes again and noticed I was in a hospital room and there was the guy from the drop ship Lincoln to my left and Octavia. Movement in front of me took my attention off them and saw it was Doctor Griffin. I tried to leap forward and to bite her but the straps kept me from moving far enough forward to do it. She was fiddling with my iv. I kept thrashing around and finally was able to rip the iv out of my arm after a particularly hard pull and weird angle of throwing it.

I started to fight harder. Doctor Griffin screamed for someone to help hold me down. I felt more people grab me to help hold me down and then the pinch in my neck and then they released me. I kept thrashing around but it was getting harder and harder to move my body. Knowing instantly that this wasn't a sedative but medicine. It felt different and I knew that wasn't a good sign.

I finally stopped screaming and felt my head hit the bed again and I couldn't move anymore. My body feeling it was being pressed down by some unknown heavy weight.

Abby was just standing in front of me staring at me with fury in her eyes. Her eyes were slightly bruised from earlier when I head-butted her but I could see that she looked way to pleased and somehow disappointed.

"Kara you could have finally had a life here but then you had to go and do something stupid. Did you not think about what your actions would cause? You killed a member of the council. Even if he wasn't the Chancellor anymore he was still on the council. When this whole thing with Finn is taken care of, you will be tried and most likely hanged for your crimes because you are finally over the age of majority."

With those final words, Abby turned and walked to the door, before she left the room she turned and stared at me.

"I am so disappointed in you." After those amazing last words, she turned and left the room.

Everything felt like it was being weighed down. Like my limbs and body weighed hundreds of pounds. I was starting to drift off into the fog.

It continued like this for a while. I know at one-point Octavia came over to see if I was awake. I just stared at her with dead eyes. She just grabbed my hand and held it hard in her hand. I felt the tears start to slip down my face.

Her hands reached up and gently wiped the tears away and lifted my head and placed our foreheads together and just stared into my eyes. She didn't say anything and just offered all the strength she could. The tears kept coming and she just kept wiping them away. She let go when I finally stopped crying.

I closed my eyes and let the fog crash over my senses and fell asleep.

* * *

When I woke up again I realized that someone was holding my hand. I crushed the hand. I heard the person hiss in pain and tried to pull away. I opened my eyes and realized it Octavia. I quickly let go and started to whisper how sorry I was.

Octavia just gave me a small smile and quickly grabbed my hand again. She gave it a really hard squeeze and just smirked a little. I couldn't help the chuckle that came out.

"I am going to die," I told her real quietly. I almost didn't hear my own voice but with the way she jerked a little she heard me.

Her gaze turned hard and gave me another squeeze. "You won't die. I won't let them kill you. Lincoln will help us. I promise," She told me with as much conviction as possible.

I looked over at the guy in the bed next. My eyes were still kind of glazed over but he seemed like he wanted to help me. I just looked back over at Octavia and gave her a sad smile. I gave her hand another squeeze before turning back to staring at the ceiling.

I heard the door open and heard someone walk in. I could see Abby in the corner of my eye. She checked my vitals before checking to make sure my IV was firmly still in my arm. It was. I haven't had any panic attacks yet. The drug was keeping me nice and calm.

I could feel the panic though. It felt like a tiger pacing behind bars. I felt my eyes narrow when I saw her take another syringe out.

"It is time for the next dose Kara. I am trying out a different medication to see if we can get different results. If you can control yourself maybe you can be given your own cell to sit in or at least by having the restraints removed."

She inserted the drug into the IV before going to check on Lincoln. I felt the calm crash over me once again like waves crashing on the beach. I didn't stop the smile that came over my face. I accepted my fate. I knew what was going to come for me and I would embrace it when it did.

I felt like I was floating. It felt so nice. I felt free. I thought about running through the forest and all the green.

 _*POV CHANGE*_

I felt the hand holding mine go limp. Felt like I was holding a dead fish. I couldn't help the frown that came over my face and the anger and sorrow that rushed through my body. I looked up to her face and she was staring at the ceiling again with glassed over eyes and a small smile on her face.

I heard Abby talking to Lincoln, but I wasn't listening to her words. I could feel the angry burn of tears in my eyes. I felt my blood boil. I knew why she killed him. I would have done the same thing if given the chance. Jaha was a terrible man and deserved everything that he got.

I could see what the drugs were doing to her. It took away everything that was her. She had told me on one of her more coherent days when she wasn't lost in her own mind of what had happened with and Jaha and I felt no remorse over the loss of such as man. If she hadn't killed him I would have done it. The loss of my mother besides and being locked under the floor seemed almost small compared to what that _Man_ had done to many others on the Ark.

I gripped her hand a little bit tighter and turned and looked at Abby ready to give her a tongue lashing of the century when I saw the way Lincoln was looking at me. Trying to get me to stop before my rash actions got me and her in trouble more trouble. I was lucky that she was even placed in the room. My anger lowered to an almost manageable level just by looking at the man that I was sure I was in love with.

I saw Kara earlier when she was brought back to the camp. I walked out with Abby when we heard that they were back. She seemed more pissed than normal, probably having to do with coming back to Camp and finding Jaha's body with a Trikru warrior who told us what had happened.

She went from calm to fighting like a wild animal after Abby gave the order to arrest her. I heard what the Trikru warrior told her. She was strong but so broken at times. I hated anytime that she was given the medication. She looked so broken. She was getting better before she vanished. She would smile more and not just that glazed over smile shit she does. We were at least, well to me, becoming friends. I always wanted friends. I never had more than two people I truly wanted to protect. When we first came to earth it was only Bellamy but then he introduced me to the girl with the blood red hair who had her hands tied.

She didn't really say anything the first meeting but I remember her eyes seemed to clear for a second before losing it. The next meeting was kind of funny, to be honest, and I liked that she still called me Oct. We had gotten very close and I was one of the very few people she would allow to touch without hitting them in turn.

I waited till Abby left before walking over to Lincoln.

"We need to get her out of here. She can't stay here any longer. It will end up killing her."

I looked back over to her and she still had glassy smile on her face still. It hurt my heart.

"I don't think we will be able to Octavia. If we do we need to wait for a suitable distraction to get away. Then we have the added bonus of her being like this. Can she even walk?"

"The new medication seems to be stronger than her previous one and I am not sure. I mean if not I could help carry her or you could. Please help me with this. I need your help" I couldn't help but plead with him. I loved him. I could already tell and I didn't know what to do if he wouldn't help me.

He let out a loud sigh and seemed to be thinking over some things. He gave a slight head nod and then turned to look at me.

"We are going to need Bellamy to help us," Lincoln told me with a serious look on her face.

I rushed forward and kissed him deeply, him returning just as strongly. I left the room after to go and find Bellamy.

 _*POV CHANGE*_

I felt so nice. Everything finally felt good. I still felt like I was floating but also feeling like I was forgetting something very important. A woman's voice echoed through my mind and made it slightly easier to think. A pair of very vivid green eyes stared back at me before vanishing.

The colors were blurring past me. What the hell? It's just supposed to be white. Maybe I finally lost my mind.

That's a shame. I probably wouldn't be a good warrior if I finally went full blown crazy. I wouldn't be a warrior though. I was going to hanged for my crimes against Jaha. The colors stopped moving. I looked around and realized I was on the drop ship and I was in one of the only seats left.

I looked to my left and saw Lincoln. I shook my head a little bit. Everything became only slightly clearer.

I looked to my right and there was Octavia. I reached my hand out and grabbed the back of her head and placed my forehead against hers.

"Why are we here?" The words came out slightly slurred. My eyes started to water.

"I don't want to die yet. I had so much I wanted to do. I was finally free."

Octavia just pushed harder on my head. "No, I told you I wouldn't let that happen. We are on the drop ship. Everything will be better now."

I could only nod numbly at that. The green eyes flashed once more in my mind and I wanted to find the owner.

"Where'd all the green go? I want the green. I want to see it one more time before I die." I pleaded. The sense of peace from the drug was crashing against my conscience pulling me back down with greater strength.

She slammed her head a little against me.

I felt the fog recede a little.

"They gave you some strong stuff didn't they." Octavia murmured.

"We'll get you some help don't worry. We are gonna see if the Commander will help us out. Don't worry."

"Get Indra or the green-eyed one," I whispered.

She just tilted her a little at the last part. "Will do."

I let the peace take over once more.

* * *

The next time I opened my eyes I was on someone's back. The person in front of us was Octavia, so this was probably Lincoln.

The forest looked so pretty. I let out a sigh of contentment. Octavia turned a little and saw my open eyes and smiled a little before looking forward once more. I could hear that we were approaching a group of people. A lot of them by the sound of it. I closed my eyes and let him carry me onward, enjoying the feeling of being carried.

I heard someone speaking in Trikru near me. It sounded pleasant. I kept my eyes closed when I felt us start to move once again. I started to hum "Once upon a dream". So pretty I loved that song.

I heard some more people talking before we walked into a tent. I heard the same woman from before speaking and she sounded so familiar. It chased away some of the fog. I opened my eyes and couldn't stop the smile that grew across my face.

"Octavia it's the green. We can go back now. I'm ready." I heard Octavia's breathe hitch at that statement.

"What did I tell you about saying that." She chastised me.

I didn't stop looking into the green. They looked so confused and I could see the worry swirling around.

"She is so beautiful. I could drown in her eyes," I whispered.

"What is going on?! Someone tell me right now!" Lexa finally lost her patience and snapped.

"I am dying," I told her. She looked to get even more confused and concerned than before.

"We can go back now."

"Octavia of the sky people. What is she talking about?" Indra ordered. I looked over and saw her.

"My tattooed friend. We are saying my goodbyes. I couldn't stay strong like you told me. I tried. I tried so hard. I am gonna close my eyes. I'm so tired."

Indra's face softened. "Oh, child. What did they give to you?"

I closed my eyes again. The dark was calling to me. Was whispering sweet promises. I was swept away once again. At last, my dreams answered my calls.

 _*POV CHANGE*_

I was so confused as to what was happening. I was waiting for the Skaikru to hand over this Finn boy to receive the 1000 cuts, when I was told that Lincoln and Octavia wanted to see me about something important and that Lincoln was carrying someone.

When they walked in I was sitting on my throne and Indra was to my left as usual, with Gustus to my right. Octavia walked in first with Lincoln behind her. He had someone on his back that appeared to be sleeping but her blood red hair is very familiar.

I started playing with my knife in my hands. "What brings you here? Did you come to tell me where you have been hiding Finn?"

Octavia bowed her head slightly and right as she was about to open her mouth. The girl on Lincolns back lifted her head and opened her eyes. Her blue eyes seemed cloudy and unfocused but she was certainly staring at me. A huge smile bloomed across her face.

"Octavia it's the green. We can go back now. I'm ready." Her voice sounded almost slurred and airy.

Octavia's breathing hitched, and she looked like she was trying not to cry. Kara still kept her eyes on me and didn't look away. I had a feeling she was talking about me.

This just made my confusion grow as well as my concern for the girl. I saw Indra's hand tighten on her sword. She looked like she wanted to kill something.

I turned back to Kara to see her mumble something but I could barely make it out from all the way over here. I felt my blood boil slightly and a small blush from the last statement.

"What is going on?! Someone tell me right now!" I finally lost my patience and snapped. I didn't like seeing Kara like this. She shouldn't look like that she should be standing tall with fire in her eyes. The way she looks now feels so very wrong and makes me feel slightly sick.

Octavia tried to open her mouth once again only to be beat by Kara calmly telling me she was dying. Then it was Indra who looked like she was about to lose all sense of control and screamed out.

"Octavia of the sky people. What is she talking about?"

Kara finally broke eye contact and turned and saw Indra next to me.

"My tattooed friend. We are saying my goodbyes. I couldn't stay strong like you told me. I tried. I tried so hard. The Fog. I'm so tired." She told Indra solemnly.

Indra's entire body seemed to sag and her face softened. "Oh child. What did they give to you?"

Octavia finally spoke. "When your scouts captured her what was she doing? I was never told."

"My scout told me that she was just walking in the forest and she turned and saw him, asked if she was dreaming before walking away again."

Octavia just sagged a little at that.

"Sadly that sounds like something that would happen. She would normally go on walks around the ship but never too far always within sight. I don't know why she went so far like that but I am glad she did. I could only imagine if the Mountain Men had taken her. Thank you for taking care of her even if some of it was spent in a cell," with those words she bowed at the waist after slamming her fist over her heart, wondering if this was where Kara had gotten it or if it was the other way around.

She took another deep breath before continuing. "Doctor Griffin or Abby as you call her, gave Kara a new drug to try out because she thought the other wasn't working the way she wanted it too, she said Kara was still to unstable. When she was brought back to the camp she was calm but when Abby told the guards to arrest her, she went crazy. She tried to escape out the main gate but a guard stopped her. She tried to punch the guard but missed. Kara climbed the gate and was almost over the top before she was ripped down. She was eventually thrown to the ground and hit with a shock stick when she didn't stop fighting."

She stopped and tried to calm her breathing, almost struggling to tell the story.

"She doesn't like when others touch her, has never even liked to touch another. Bellamy knew this but none of the other guards ever respected it. After she was shocked Abby walked up and lifted her head and then with her other hand she was about to inject her when she head-butted her. I am amazed honestly that didn't break her nose. After that she was shocked one more time and afterwards she was given a sedative."

"Good. It sounds like she put up quite a fight. She might make an excellent warrior yet," I heard Indra speak with conviction. She hadn't told me what had happened when she found the girl in the forest, but whatever had happened had changed how Indra felt for Kara. The small amount of time they were together after returning to camp she seemed very concerned for her.

I couldn't help but feel that small amount of pride hearing her fight. I turned and looked at the girl. Her eyes were halfway open, and I could hear her mutter "I'm so tired." Before closing her eyes once more and started to hum a pretty song. I had never heard of it but a very small part of me wanted to hear her sing more of it.

Octavia turned and almost seemed to pet her head before turning back. I felt the bitter feeling of jealously soar through my chest. What in the world? Before I could think too much about it Octavia was continuing her tale.

"I think Abby just gave her a sedative instead of her normal prescription because she woke up maybe an hour or two later and started to thrash around on the bed. I was able to convince Abby that I could help keep an eye on her but she made sure that her hands and feet were tied down on the bed. So that she 'wouldn't hurt anyone. I am not surprised she reacted that way when she woke up,'" Octavia let out a snort at that point.

"She didn't want to hurt anyone anyways. She just hates to be locked up. Anyways at this point, Abby comes running back in and when she was about to add the new drug into her IV, Kara was able to rip it out from how hard she was throwing herself around. She was given the new drug and whatever this is, it is a hell of a lot stronger than her normal one. I mean have seen her? We need a place to hide her till everything calms down at camp. Bellamy helped us get out. We had been almost a day and a half to get out and we would have stayed at the drop ship but they went and are trying to hide Finn there. So, I am asking for your help Heda. We need a place to lay low, so we can hide her. She keeps talking about her death. Hell, even Abby gave a straight up confirmation that she will most likely be hanged for her crime. I can't let that happen. She is one of my only friends. So please." At this final statement Octavia fell to her knees bowing her head low.

I felt some bile rise in the back of my throat and my chest clench when she talked about the almost guaranteed death of Kara and then I remembered what the first Commander told me and knew I needed to protect her. The thought of her death did not sit well with me all.

I turned to Gustus. "Gustus you will take them to a tent for the night. Keep them hidden. The sky people must not know we hide them till after the death of the Finn boy."

" _Sha Heda"_ He replied.

" _Mafta ai,"_ Gustus told the two before walking out of the tent. Lincoln moved to follow and so did Octavia.

I let out a loud sigh and tried to keep from touching my face to not ruin the war paint once again. I leaned back in my throne.

"What are we to do Indra? Not even that but what are they giving her? I have never seen anything like that before."

Indra just shook her head and then kept her gaze straight ahead. "We need to find that stupid boy. He must pay for his sins, then we can worry about the girl. As much as I want to handle this situation right now, finding Finn is more important."

I couldn't help but drop my gaze to floor and tried to clear my thoughts, the previous Heda's were of no use. They haven't shared any wisdom or said anything since the girl was brought out of the prison cell.

"Indra tell our warriors to head to drop ship. That _ripa_ is at dropship. How did I miss that?! Send them immediately! GO NOW!"

Indra ran out of the tent to order without a backwards glance.

 _*POV CHANGE*_

" _Jus drein jus daun"_

I could hear the chant. I could feel it rushing through my veins, burning away the fog. I felt to hot. I could feel the sweat on my brow and my hair sticking to the back of my neck. I felt sticky. I felt myself trying to remember something important, but it was just out of my reach. It felt like something broke slightly in my mind before small voice whispered in the back of my mind.

I started to whisper. "Blood must have blood."

I sat up from the bed I was on. I looked around and saw that I was sitting in a tent with Octavia, Lincoln, and Gustus who was sitting at the entrance of the tent.

Gustus looked me in the eye.

" _Jus drein jus daun Gostos,"_ I told him. I held his stare and then he nodded his head though his eyes seemed surprised by what I have spoken.

Octavia was just staring at me like I had grown a second head.

"Kara where did you hear that?" I tilted my head at that. How did I know that was what that phrase meant?

It didn't matter. I shook my head at her and then stood up. I turned and looked Octavia in the eye. She seemed shocked but what she was seeing. I didn't know it but my eyes were starting to flash a blood red color.

" _Jus dein jus daun Okteivia"_ this really threw her for a loop, judging by the way she was looking at me. Something was calling to me, my very soul ached to answer the call.

I walked towards the entrance of the tent. Gustus held his hand up. "You are not allowed to leave yet."

"I need to go Gustus. It is calling," I felt my spine stiffen and my lips pulled back a little letting more teeth show.

He seemed to be weighing my words and actions so far. He needed to hurry.

"Gustus move now."

He moved and let me exit the tent but followed me as a weaved my way through the camp, following the chanting.

I felt the blood rushing through my veins. I could taste the iron on my tongue. I started to walk faster. I needed to be closer. I didn't know why, only that I had to be.

I reached the edge of the camp and saw the large group of the Trikru around a pole with someone tied to it. I started to weave through the crowd getting closer. The words continuing on a loop in my mind. Finally, I was at the front and made my way to Lexa.

Indra seemed almost shocked to see me. I could see slight concern on her face. My smile grew to include all my teeth, my sharper than normal teeth on display. I turned back and moved closer to Lexa. She finally turned and saw me standing only a couple feet in front of her.

"Kara? What are you doing here? How did you get here? Where is Gustus? Or the others?"

I didn't say anything. She took a step closer to me.

" _Jus drein jus daun Leksa."_ She seemed to get even more confused by this. She stilled a little when she finally saw my eyes. I tilted my head at her before turning away from her face towards the pole and saw Clarke hugging Finn. I turned back to Lexa.

I could feel his death. _"No sonraun,"(A/N: No life)_ I said before I turned and started walking away the call finally ending.

Lexa didn't stop me. I made my way the center of camp where I knew her tent would be. I entered and laid down in the middle of the floor with my legs and arms spread out. I could feel everything around me. It felt so nice. I closed my eyes to enjoy the feeling more.

I ignored the screams of anger outside the tent and just stayed on the floor for the time being. I felt safe for the first time in a while. I could hear people coming closer to the tent and then them coming into the main area. I didn't move or move a single muscle.

I heard someone walk towards me and kneel next to me. They put their hand on my forehead and my hand reached out and violently slapped their hand away and moved it back to the floor but still, I did not open my eyes. I heard the huff of irritation.

"You must open your eyes now. It is time to get up. We will be leaving for Ton DC soon and you cannot make the trip on the floor of my tent."

I slowly open my eyes and just stared at the beautiful green that was her eyes.

"We also need to discuss somethings that you managed to do and say in the last hour. I talked to Gustus and I want to know how you knew about Finn before the rest of us did."

I just gave a grunt of agreement before I felt overwhelming exhaustion. I closed my eyes and finally fell away into sweet oblivion.

* * *

Revised 12/27/17


	6. Remember Me

So here is the next chapter. So my oc's life isn't going to be such shit for long. It will get better. I am going to be doing about 2 episodes per chapter and depending on the episode might be a chapter alone just for it. Eventually, the storyline will shift from the show because I am certainly not going to kill Lexa. That was the saddest thing ever. Don't think I will ever not be sad about her death on the show. Honestly, the only reason I even started to watch it.

I also wrote this whole chapter listening to 80's music, instead of like depressing music like the last chapter…

Also, want to send a shout out to my first review! Thank you DeathKeeper56 for reading the story!

* * *

Chapter Five

I woke to being doused in water. I shot up from the floor to find Indra standing there looking way to smug with an empty bucket of water in her hands. Trying to blink back the water that fell in my eyes, I wiped as much water as possible from my face, my glare firmly in place staring at Indra.

"Did you enjoy sleeping on the floor Kara of the sky people? You do know that you could have had a cot to sleep on?" Indra asked.

The rush of memories from the last couple of days came rushing back at her words. I sat back down on the floor and put my head in my hands, ignoring the steadily increasing headache that was making itself known. Once my mind finally calmed down and I could think clearly for the first time in the last couple days.

"What the hell Indra? Can't you wake people up like a normal person." I couldn't help but ask not bothering to look up.

Light boot step can be heard as well as the swish of her chainmail war-skirt and then she slightly pushed me with the tip of her boot. "Get up and follow me. I figured this was easier than trying to wake you with physical touch. We are heading out to my village now, so get a move on."

Releasing a groan I stand up, stretching slightly feeling my back pop in a couple different places before walking to the entrance of the tent before I stopped. I turned back and looked at Indra when the stray thought of how I was even still here.

"How am I allowed to come with you? I am amazed that the new Chancellor hasn't asked for me to be returned to their custody yet. But cool I am down with that I'd love to see your village. The last couple days have been something else though and hopefully this allows everything to calm down. Don't ya agree?"

She didn't say anything but walked over to me at the entry of the tent and gently grasped my shoulders. The glimmer of pride flashed in her eyes when she noticed I did not flinch away from her touch. She increased her grip slightly also allowing a small smile to spread across her face. "The Commander has taken care of everything regarding your placement in our camp. We are now in charge of watching you. The situation that occurred with Jaha has been explained and while not wholly accepted was agreed that you did what was needed at the time. You are no longer in trouble with the rest of the Sky people but you will be watched all times by someone from either our camp or yours. I also am not allowed to give you a weapon yet but hopefully soon child."

My smile was one of the first genuine smiles I have had in a long time, as I felt it even spread to my eyes. "That's great! So we hang out more! I mean not the whole I can't have a weapon yet but still ! We could get my tattoo's. And! I want to get a hair-cut to kind of symbolize a new chapter in my life. If that makes any sense"

I dragged my hand through my bright red hair before pushing my hair back behind my ears once more trying to ignore how even though it was still wet my fingers still caught on a small knot halfway down its length.

Ugh, I am still upset that she doused me with water but it certainly woke me up so I guess silver lining.

I was still standing at the front of the tent watching Indra walk away before I finally snapped from my mind and rushed to catch up with her.

"Wait for me Indra," I yelled out.

She didn't even turn around and just shouted back to catch up. I knew that was smirking I could almost hear it in her tone.

Ugh. I still felt kind of groggy. Can't I just catch a break for once? Ha! Nope!

When I finally caught up I saw two of my favorite people. Octavia and Bellamy.

I sprinted over and tackled Octavia into a big hug before grabbing her head and placing her forehead against mine. I felt my eyes start to tear up and as I pressed closer to her.

"Thank you" I whispered just loud enough to her to hear me.

She gave me smile before moving back. She threw an arm over my shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "Anything for you!" She gave me another squeeze before walking back over to Lincoln.

I heard Bellamy chuckle behind me. "No love for me then?"

I quickly turned to him. "When I have I ever made you think I even like you?" I couldn't help but tease back.

He didn't make a move to closer to me and just waited to see what I would do. I walked closer and pulled him into a quick hug before letting go. Almost pushing him away in my need to escape the small amount of physical affection I placed upon him. Bellamy did not look upset at my pushing him and actually gave me a large smile in turn. His eyes almost shining with happiness.

Looking behind him I see Kane and Doctor Griffin and I barely was able to hold back the groan before walking closer to where I saw Indra last. When I finally found her, she was standing near Lexa who seemed to be speaking with Clarke. It was easy to tell that Lexa seemed a lot more relaxed than she was yesterday if the way her face looked to be almost relaxed showed.

I couldn't hold back the grin when I saw Lexa though, she looked so fricking bad ass with her war paint. The darkness of the paint made the green in her eyes pop and my whole body seem to hum in happiness just being near her.

"Hey, Heda! How goes it?" I ask once I get close enough to her.

Her green eyes quickly met mine and she seemed almost relieved to see me. Clarke on the other hand? Not so much. Clarke's face twisted into a grimace and it was easy to see the distrust in her eyes.

"Glad to see you up and moving and not passed out on my floor. And you are wet again. Is this going to be a trend every time I see you?"

I felt my cheeks heat up and a rush of arousal through my body when she said. I couldn't tell if she knew what she just implied but I kind of hoped she did. God that sounded so pervy. Deep breathes. In and Out. You are a totally awesome and relaxed person. Super cool.

"You never know," I told her before I could stop myself and then gave her a wink because why not, already let one weird thing slip.

Clarke was just staring at our interaction with her mouth open. "You'll catch flies like that Clarke." I quickly said.

I could hear an audible click from Clarke closing her mouth. The almost calm look from Clarke slipped and was replaced once more with a glare and her eyes almost seemed to catch fire as she looked at me.

"Remember you need to be on your best behavior. You can't give anyone any problems or its back to living like you did in the skybox Kara," Clarke almost hissed at me. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Lexa straightened further and a slightly angered look appeared before quickly being replaced with one that did not give away what she was feeling.

I felt the brief flash of panic through my body before I took a deep breathe allowing myself to calm once more. "I will try. No guarantees though. I will try though, I promise."

Clarke just nodded her head before turning back to Lexa. I decided that I didn't need to push my luck anymore and returned once more to Indra's side.

"Well, that went well. Right Indra?" I turned and looked at her. She just snorted and got on her horse.

"Hey, Indra? Where is your village? And Why are we going to your village?" I finally remembered to ask.

"We will be burning the 18 innocents and the boy Finn with them. Ton DC is a little over a day's walk from here."

I didn't respond to that and just started walking and keeping myself near to Indra. My shoulder would sometimes brush against Indra's leg as we walked for some time and at one point I heard Gustus start talking to Lexa. She looked so regal riding the white stallion. I wanted to pet the magnificent animal, part of my head started to hurt and for a second I could have sworn I heard voices, but their words were almost too quiet for me to hear. I felt my hands twitch at my side, wanting to reach and touch the horse thinking maybe touching the animal might give me answers.

I started to slowly weave through the different horses and people till I finally made it over to Lexa's horse. Bringing myself in front of the massive animal I slowed to almost a stop to allow the horse to touch my fingers as it passed and the instant my hand made contact it felt as though someone had taken a large hammer to my head. The pain only lasted a second and caused me to grab the closest thing to keep me from falling. The sudden flash of pain and then for it to disappear so quickly caused everything to flash black. The sounding of multiple people screaming came and went quickly as well leaving my ears ringing.

A strong hand gripped my shoulder, instantly my body reacted and I gripped the hand tightly and when I began to pull down hard I stopped and realized who I was touching. I looked up my eyes wide into the almost concerned eyes of Lexa. My eyes flick over to Gustus whose face is one of intense fury his eyes directed to where my hand still is holding onto Lexa's wrist. Slowly I release my hold of her hand and lightly ran my hand over hers before I let go.

"What happened Kara?" Lexa asked. Her words had a steely undertone to them.

"I don't know. It was weird. I am sorry. Forget it happened," and with those words, I walked back allowing the others pass till I was near the back of the pack and tried to make sense of what happened but nothing came to mind to what would cause that.

I gave my head a hard shake and made my way back to Indra allowing myself to look at all the green as we passed. She didn't say anything to me about what happened earlier but she did give me a look of concern. I allowed the sounds of all those walking to fade away to hear the hooves of the horses walk, the groan of a tree, and the bird calls. It is amazing!

This is so cool! I didn't fully understand what went on while I was sleeping but I still too excited to question anything. I looked back to the front and saw that Clarke and Bellamy were walking together. She was looking at something in the woods with a very frightened look before her face went back to normal though but kept on walking.

The hell? I looked where she was when I walked past and saw nothing. Well that is not reassuring at all. I reached out and grabbed the pant leg of Indra and didn't say anything but kept in step with her horse.

She turned and looked at me, but I didn't say anything. I didn't let go for the rest of the day too many weird things were going on and I was becoming overwhelmed with them.

* * *

When we stopped for the day, I still did not speak a word and kept to myself. Indra seemed slightly concerned but didn't say anything. That night while I slept I dreamed I was locked in a room and it was continuing to get smaller and smaller till I could no longer move. A small window was over my head and the last thing I saw in my dream was two blood red eyes staring down at me. I shot up from my position next to the fire to see the sun starting to rise. I stood up trying to shake myself out of the dream and watched everyone start to move around. Probably a good idea to get up then.

I stayed near Indra again today but didn't grab onto her to keep myself grounded like I did yesterday. Indra seemed a little more concerned with my silence today than she did yesterday but did not say anything, a part of me knew that she will most likely ask about it later today probably after the funerals. I was trying to keep myself calm and didn't do anything that would get me in trouble, especially with Abby here. I knew the risks. I didn't want to face them.

At about mid-day, we finally arrived at Indra's village, a place called Ton D.C.

Gustus started searching everyone. He made his way over and reached to search me when I looked him in the eyes and gave a hard "No."

"I need to check."

"I am not allowed to have weapons yet. My emotions are still too volatile to be trusted yet." He nodded his head and accepted the answer. Oddly enough it was Raven who had to most weapons which I did not see coming.

When we entered the camp I stayed right behind Indra like I was supposed to. The people of the village started to yell and shout the instant we arrived into the village. I could feel my blood start flow faster in veins. I could feel the start of the fire in my bones and my eyes would began to feel as though they were burning but the feeling wasn't strong enough to make me overly concerned. When we stopped because a villager wouldn't move I almost didn't stop in time before I ran into Indra.

She turned and looked at me and seemed to see that I was having problems with the way everyone was acting. I quickly grabbed her elbow and held on tighter to keep myself from doing something I shouldn't. My teeth began to hurt from how hard I was clenching my jaw. I began to dig my nails into my hand that wasn't holding onto to Indra and using the pain to allow me to focus slightly.

When Gustus started to attack the man, I didn't even try to keep the bloodthirsty smile off my face. Lexa's voice rang out to those around us and I am assuming was saying something and was talking about the rest of the arkers but all I could focus on was the man who got was beaten.

What the hell was wrong with me? Maybe I did need the medicine. No, I didn't. That medicine made everything a 1000 times worse and harder to handle myself when I finally got off the drug.

I shook my head a little and then I felt normal once more. I let go of Indra's arm and took a step back. She just turned her head and looked at me real quick and she seemed to be ok with what she was seeing before she started to walk with Lexa and Gustus again.

* * *

Lexa gave the torch to Clarke to light the pyre where all the bodies were. Indra looked so pissed off at that decision. Something happened though when Clarke was going to light it she looked at something. Something that wasn't there and I could see the fear in her eyes. I didn't know how I felt about it. I knew something was off about her and a part of me was greatly concerned.

* * *

Well Lexa told Clarke love is weakness. Her way was a little more harsh than Indra's. I didn't mean to listen in but I was just sitting on the ground a little to their right and they obviously forgot that I was even there which I didn't mind. If people forgot you were there they would say things that they normally wouldn't. I didn't say what I was truly feeling about what Clarke and her were discussing. I did enjoy her little saying of 'The dead are gone and the living are hungry' though. When Lexa was walking away she made sure to look in my eyes before nodding her head and continuing in that direction.

Well guess she did know I was there. Glad she didn't say anything but I had a feeling she might try and bring up what happened yesterday which wouldn't change my answer I still had no idea what happened. Clarke's face seemed to be carefully blank but her eyes seemed to be screaming in agony. I looked back at the smoking remains of the pyre.

"Don't listen to her." I finally spoke to Clarke. I hadn't looked away from what was left of the pyre. I still didn't feel the need to move.

"What? How long have you been there? Why are you on the ground?" Clarke couldn't help but ask.

"I haven't left. You just forgot I was here. I also sat down a while ago, standing was becoming tiring and sometimes you think better when you sit. Well at least I think that I don't know about you though," she hummed in understanding.

I turned away from the fire and turned and looked her in the eye once more. "When we love something strong enough will we fight to the death for that thing. That is what Indra told me. I am weak because I don't have something like that. I have never had something to love strongly enough for me to fight for that. That is why I am weak and I will continue to be weak in that regard until I find something of my own to fight for. Lexa may think that loving something is a weakness but she loves every single one of her people Clarke. You can see it just as well as I can. She will always choose what is best for her people because of her love."

Clarke turned and finally looked me in the eyes and I could see she was trying not to cry. I reached out slowly, grabbed her ankle, and gave it a hard squeeze before letting go. She didn't say anything for awhile and neither did I, both us using the time to gather our thoughts about what I had just told her.

I didn't want to be weak in fact I hated it. It turned my stomach to think that because of everything that had happened in my life I had no one to love. I had no relative because of the single child policy and my grandparents on both sides had died when my parents were young. The only reason I knew that is because then one time I asked my mom was actually sober and she cried a little and sat me down with her and showed me pictures of her with her parents.

I believe I was around 6 at the time. I never brought them up again and part of me was crushed to know that I would never feel that same love for my parents. The pain from that single thought used to cause my chest to hurt. I would then crawl further under the covers of my bed and curl into a ball to cry myself to sleep. Now I am this adult who has nothing and probably never will.

After a while, I stood up and dusted off my pants allowing myself to pull myself away from painful thoughts and memories. I turned and looked at her again and when she saw that I was staring she held eye contact with me. She looked better than she did a couple minutes ago that was for sure.

"I know you probably hate me for the way I am and what I have done but if you ever want someone to talk to about how you are feeling you can come to me. Believe or not I am a very good listener." I gave her a small smile and turned to walk away to find Indra.

When I had only walked a couple feet away I heard Clarke call out my name. I turned and looked, her face seemed a little less depressed and she gave me a small smile and told me thanks before turning back to look at the ash.

* * *

I was allowed to join in the feast that we were having afterwards. No joke there was so much tension at that table I could cut it with a knife. Everything was going well until Gustus was poisoned.

I could feel my blood start to boil when he fell back to the wall and slid down. Someone then basically threw the table across the room. I turned and saw that Indra had her sword out yelling it was one of the sky people.

I started to panic. I could feel myself start to drift away and the more violent side start to take control. I heard Indra yell something else and saw that guards were starting to search us. I started to slowly back away from the group and made it to the corner of the room. My eyes wide searching everything taking everything in. Lexa seemed to be hissing words back at Clarke, Raven started yelling at the guard who was searching her, her eyes angry and fearful.

I turned and saw some guards stalking towards me coming from two different sides. I pushed further back into the corner but only making the situation for me worse.

I bared my teeth at them and shouted for them to back away. They just took a step closer. I looked around trying to find anything to keep them away. I found a lit candelabra and quickly grabbed it and swung it at the two warriors coming closer. They jumped back to miss being hit by the end.

A small part of me knew I was totally irrational about this whole thing. It is probably not helping anyone and especially not me but I couldn't stop the panic was overwhelming me.

I heard someone approach from my right and swung in that direction only to have the person catch the pole. I was finally able to focus and my frightened blue eyes met fiery green, and then I realized it was Lexa. Her face seemed to almost be crafted from stone. She looked furious. I felt my breathe catch and I immediately dropped candelabra and then fell to my knees. I didn't move and kept my head facing the ground. Remorse and mortification flooding my system and I knew I was fucked and not in a good way.

"Search her! Now!" Lexa ordered. I heard the two guards rush forward and they began to search for anything. They found nothing though. I didn't move from that position or look up. I kept my gaze to the floor. I felt all the adrenaline from earlier start to fall away and leave me exhausted. I almost fell forward and would have cracked my face open on the stone floor but my hands caught me in time.

I stopped listening to everything around me and all I could hear was my heart beat pounding in my ears. I couldn't stop picturing her face in my head. The look of utter betrayal on her face spoke volumes. It hurt. I couldn't catch my breath and looked back up. Every person in the room seemed to be in the same state of shock. I needed to leave. I couldn't be here.

I stood up and walked to the door that was locked. I grabbed and gave a hard pull. It started to feel like the walls were closing in on me. I gave another hard pull and the gate didn't shift at all. I screamed at the thing that was keeping me locked in the small room. I took a step back and kicked at the lock. The sound of my boot hitting the door rang through the room. I could hear voices talking behind but all I could focus on was that I was Locked in a room again. All rational thought left my body. I was locked in a small room and it began to flash to my skybox cell the breath was stolen from the lungs. I could almost hear the hum of machines of the massive station.

I let out a scream and kicked the door again and once more nothing happened but I did hear a slight groan from something but I couldn't tell if it came from the lock or not. I took a couple steps back this time and then shot myself forward and hit it with my shoulder. I barely felt the pain the blasted into my right shoulder. I ignored the pain and realized that the door had given another groan. Then my vision flashed once more to my cell but out of the corner of my eye I could see a tall black figure with red eyes.

All I could hear now was a low frequency and nothing else. I took a couple steps back again and when I went to go forward again someone caught my arm stopping me. I reached my other hand back and when I turned I threw it forward and would have hit them in the face if they hadn't moved their face at the last second. Another scream ripped passed my lips. I wouldn't allow them to stop me. I needed to get out.

Another person grabbed me from behind and held my arms behind my back, while the one in front just grabbed my head and placed our foreheads together and just looked into my eyes. I was still trying to pull away to back away from the unwanted contact when they moved their head back a bit and hit their head against my head. The slight pain shocked me enough to get my rational thoughts back.

I realized I was staring into Octavia's eyes. Her eyes were especially bright and I could tell that it looked like she was about to cry. I could see that they were even almost frantic and I knew that I must have looked insane and was only slightly surprised that I hadn't been sedated.

She let out a sigh of relief. "There you are. I was worried there for a second. If that hadn't worked Abby was going to sedate you and I knew that that would not have gone over well with you when you woke up. Now I need you to breath with me here."

The person holding my arms let go but I didn't notice and just tried to get my breathing in sync with hers while she maintained eye contact. Each breath burned and the stitch in my side was growing in intensity.

"It isn't working," I manage to tell Octavia between each gasp.

She didn't respond and pressed her head harder against mine and her fingers twisted through my hair and held it in a grip hard enough she was pulling my hair and it hurt. This barely caused any difference in my breathing. A voice started talking but I couldn't hear what they were saying over the sounds of me hyperventilating.

"You will be fine Kara. Leaving this room will not help you. Follow my breathing. Everything will be fine Kara," Octavia's voice was filled with confidence that helped me focus on her and I worked on following her even breathes.

After a couple of minutes, I was able to breath normally and I had finally calmed down. She backed away slowly and I let out a quiet thank you before walking back to the corner and sat down and closed my eyes. I continued to quietly breathe in and out focusing myself and trying not to think of the look on Lexa's face. I didn't even know what Indra was thinking or what she looked like.

* * *

Fuck this whole thing has gone straight to shit. I was trying to keep calm when I heard Raven scream that Clarke was the only murderer here. I stood up real quick.

"Um no she isn't?" Everyone turned to look at me.

Octavia just shook her head. "Kara now really isn't the time."

"Leave me alone" Clarke told something in the corner. I couldn't stop the shock that ran through my system at that. Seems I wasn't the only one slightly off my rocker.

"You gave me no choice. Why did you turn yourself in?" Clarke asked. After she said this she almost ran to the corner in the opposite side of the room and sat down.

I started to slowly move closer to her. Everyone was giving her looks of concern. At least it wasn't fear. I wasn't used to that look of concern only the fear and honestly that helped nothing with what I would feel.

I finally made it over and stopped behind her. I didn't know what I wanted to do but I wanted to make her feel better but as one would obviously assume I can be fucking retarded when it comes to other people. FUCK! Ok deep breath. You can totally do this. Be a nice person and maybe make another friend. HELL YA! My pep talks are the shit!

I moved and sat down in the chair in front of her. She wasn't really looking at anything, more looking into space. I reached forward and grabbed the back of her head and pushed her forehead against mine. I figured if it makes me feel better maybe it would her. She jerked a little but I was strong enough to keep her there and then I gave her a slight headbutt to get her to focus on the present and not the past. Her eyes finally focused on me. She seemed shocked to see that it was me.

Her breathing was a little erratic and not at all a good sign. I pushed my head harder into hers. "Follow my breathing"

After a couple minutes she finally calmed down and I removed my hand and moved back to sitting straight up. She just kept looking at me. "The dead are gone and the living are hungry Clarke. I like that saying and I will totally be keeping it. Sorry. Got sidetracked," I shook my head a little before looking into her eyes once more.

"Clarke, I know what you did was hard. I couldn't imagine what you must be feeling right now or even what you were feeling when you had to do it. It must feel like everything around you is breaking apart right now. You are seeing him aren't you. Don't answer just listen to me. He is gone yes but you in fact gave him an act of mercy saving him from suffering needlessly. Life is cruel Clarke and he unfortunately couldn't handle it, couldn't handle things here on the ground like the others. He was too weak but you Clarke? You are strong" With that last thing said I pushed my finger hard in her chest before standing up and going back to my corner and sitting down.

I noticed everyone was looking at me like I had grown a second head. Octavia seemed proud of me, while Marcus and Abby seemed distrusting. Which totally made sense. I went back into my own little world when I heard the gate open again.

I quickly stood up. I had a bad feeling for Raven, I knew that they found some poison on her but I knew her well enough that she was more likely to blow you up than something as subtle as poison. I pushed her behind me. I may not like a lot of people, but I really hate punishing the innocent. The guilty I don't give two shits about. Honestly if this was Finn then I would have probably thrown him to guards and Indra who entered the room but it wasn't.

Indra looked pained when she saw me move Raven behind me. I knew they were going to take her. I felt her shuffle a little behind me and her grab the back of my shirt twisting it tightly in her grip.

Indra ordered the guards to take her. I felt white-hot fury rip through my body. I started to feel hotter and could my heart pounding in my chest. Each breathe filled my body with the air that I needed. I pushed us farther back into the room closer to a corner so they couldn't behind us. I made sure to go slower than I wanted so she wouldn't trip with her leg.

I stopped listening when I heard Indra say she wanted all of the sky people to die. That hurt my heart. My vision started to bleed red. The guards were now within striking distance.

"Get back!" I screamed so loud I heard it echo in the room. I looked past them and pleaded with Indra.

"Please Indra." Indra just shook her head.

"If they move they bleed," Indra ordered the guards. Fine then if that was how it had to be then so be it. I wouldn't let them take her without a fight.

I finally had to stop moving back when I felt Raven hit the wall behind me forcing me to stop as well. I wasn't going to let them take her.

The guard on the left stepped forward and went to grab my arm. Before he could grab it I punched him the face. He didn't react fast enough and I felt my first hit him the nose. He reared back covering it and I could see the red seeping past his hands. I sadly knew that I was only able to hit was because he was not expecting me to do something like that. Well I guess now they knew.

I looked to the guard on the right and saw him reach to pull out his sword when I lifted my leg to kick him. He stopped mid-motion and grabbed my foot and then somehow threw me. My head hit the ground first. Everything turned double and it became hard to focus and think.

As quickly as possible I stood up and saw that the guard had Raven and was pulling her away. I ran forward and jumped on his back and grabbed him a choke hold. He let go of Raven to pull me off. He reached back and grabbed a hold of my shirt and pulled up. He jumped up a little allowing my body to lift off his back slightly and then somehow pulled me and slammed my body to the floor hard. I felt all the air whoosh out of my lungs. It was really hard to breathe but I couldn't stop. I tried to sit up when I felt someone slam their boot on my chest. Increasing the pressure forcing me to stay on my back on the floor.

I grabbed the boot and tried to lift and when I couldn't I started to scream. I tried again when I looked up and saw that it was Indra. Her face may have looked righteously furious, but I could see the regret in her eyes. She didn't want to do this to me.

"Stop this Kara." She ordered me.

I wanted to fight the order she gave me, but I couldn't I respected her to much not to follow her orders. I just stopped fighting and tried to get my breathing under control once again.

"Please," I begged one last time for her not to do this.

She just gave a small shake of her head, removed her foot and then walked away. Only stopping long enough to tell us to run while we can.

I felt the burn of tears in my eyes. I sat up. I wouldn't accept this. She didn't do it. I quickly stood up and made my way to the gate and pulled it open. I ran up the stairs and made my way into the courtyard. I felt someone tackle me to the floor.

"Stop it. If you don't stop you will get us all killed!" Bellamy hissed into my ear. I stopped moving and kept still.

Then I heard her scream.

"Raven!" I roared. I started thrashing around again trying to escape to get to her. I couldn't take it. I knew pain and I deserved it. Not her. She has suffered to much. Way too much for this to happen.

"Take me!" I started to scream. I would take her place. I wasn't valuable. I didn't offer worth. I have been locked up since I was 10 years old. I could take her place. No one would miss me. I wasn't important.

"Please take me instead! LEXA PLEASE DON'T DO THIS!"

I could still hear Raven screams. Then Clarke was back talking about how it was the cup and not the drink that poisoned Gustus.

I stopped to hear what was going on. I could still Ravens screams though. They were reverberated around my skull. Mocking me. Telling me that I couldn't even protect one person.

Bellamy let me up when Gustus confessed that he had done it. I ran up to the tree that Raven was tied to and started pulling at the rope. Bellamy moved my hands and cut it for me. I quickly grabbed her in my arms and brought her to Abby.

"Heal her Abby," I ordered. When she didn't move, I growled a little and then she quickly helped me move Raven over to the side of the courtyard away from everyone. Making sure to keep myself between her and anyone else that would try to walk up.

I couldn't believe it was the fucking teddy bear dude. I actually liked him. Shit. I was still pissed off as fuck with him but was sad because I also knew he means a lot to Lexa. Emotions made things so complicated.

Well at least Raven is ok. I turned and looked over and watched as Lexa walked up to Gustus. He told her the same thing as the guards outside the gate. He still looked like a proud warrior when Lexa stabbed him with her sword.

Lexa looked almost heartbroken after she did it. I felt my legs twitch a little in the need to move forward.

* * *

Well, it looked like Bellamy is going to Mount Whether. Shit. This makes things problematic for a multitude of reasons, especially because I didn't think that Lincoln could handle being anywhere near the tunnels. I saw the haunted look in his eyes, the uncertainty.

I quickly ran up to Clarke when she started to walk away.

"Clarke" I called out. She stopped and turned around to look at me.

I stopped in front of her and looked around a little not knowing how to say it. "I um…Are you sure it is a good idea to do this? What about the people inside the mountain? Do you think maybe they might be able to?"

She just kept looking me in the eye and not saying anything.

"I don't think it's a good idea but I don't have any other better plans. We also don't know what is happening in the mountain. For all, we know they could have locked up the 48 already or the could already be dead.."

I hung my head a little. I didn't want to care about the others, but I couldn't help it. They really helped me out when we first came here. I know I was just drifting through everything then but if I needed something they would help me. Though a lot of people kept stealing my boots which was totally not appreciated. I looked back up.

"Ok, that makes sense. Do you want me to come with you? I don't mind staying here, though it is probably better for me to stay here than to go back to Camp Jaha. I could help you. I mean I know you don't exactly trust me but I told you I would try. I could protect you. That is if you want." I started to fiddle with my hands.

I needed to stay here, and I was afraid to ask Lexa right now. I knew I couldn't go back to Camp Jaha yet without fear of being put back behind bars.

Clarke looked like she was actually thinking about it, which raised my hopes a little. She has definitely gotten more tolerable in the last day. Hopefully, she stays like this.

"I guess it wouldn't be such a bad thing to keep you near me. I don't know about the protecting me part but sure it would probably be better anyway to keep you somewhat away from the Camp since everyone there knows what happened with Jaha." She finally answered.

I still didn't feel any regret over his death. I still felt like he deserved his death. He helped ruin so many peoples lives. I still felt unbridled fury when I think about the fact that he gave the approval to cull 300 innocent lives on the Ark, but I guess that's why I don't lead. The people they killed were innocent even if I could forgive the man for what he had done to me I could never have forgiven him for that.

This was a relief though. I just nodded my head and followed her when she went to walk to the meeting room. We stopped after a couple minutes when she saw something in the shadows. I stayed put and let her have her little crazy moment. She looked like she needed it. She came back and seemed a little off still. It also didn't help when her mom came over to talk to her. She tried to give her some of Finn's ashes but she just turned and walked away. I had a feeling she might regret it so I asked Abby for them. She seemed very hesitant to give them to me but after a moment finally accepted and gave them to me.

I thanked her before running to catch up to Clarke. I had a feeling the next couple of days are going to be very long and though part of me was excited to be here I had a bad feeling about what was to come.

* * *

So that's the end of that chapter. I changed the character name to Kara for those that got confused there. If you see any more of the old name let me know. I think I got all of them, but I am not sure.

* * *

I am so sorry for those that read the story and then realized that there technically was no chapter five. I revised and made it longer and once more want to say I am so sorry.


	7. Survival of the Fittest

I am utilizing this week of no work and school to the max. I literally have nothing better to do than this. Also, this chapter Lexa and Kara are gonna get some alone time. Figured she has been hanging around everyone But Lexa for the last couple chapters. Also, I want Clarke and Kara to become good friends and for Clarke and Lexa to have a strong relationship but nothing romantic for those two despite how much I would like too but I did make this story just for Kara and Lexa.

I do not own anything if I did the show would not have gone downhill but whatever I don't so shit biscuits.

* * *

Chapter Six

"Clarke!" I shout out.

"Clarke! I need your help!" I run down the stairs and turn into the room trying to find her and the only one I found in the room was Lexa who was standing at the table looking at a map.

I almost tripped to a stop and felt myself blush a little in slight embarrassment.

"Hey, Lexa! Actually, you might be able to help. I need a knife." I quickly told her.

She quirked an eyebrow at that. "What are you planning on doing if I give you a knife?"

"I, my dear Lexa, need a haircut. It has become quite bothersome and I need someone to help me with it not sure how to do it myself without injuring myself." I start to slightly pull at the ends of my hair and after giving a rather vicious tug that causes me to wince, I feel someone pull my hand away. My other hand gave a slight twitch but didn't hit them, stopping right before I hit the dark material of their armor. I finally looked up from the hand holding mine and I see bright green eyes staring intently at me almost as though she was trying to decide something.

My eyes quickly look at the hand still holding mine, but I feel no need to pull my hand away. The slight warmth is comforting in its own way and calms my mind as well as sending a pleasant hum to go through my whole body. I bring my other hand up and start to trace the lines and thin scars I can see on the top of her hand. Taking my other hand out of her grasp and slowly force it open and start to trace the lines of her palms with the tips of my fingers.

Lexa doesn't say anything but I can feel her eyes boring into my head, but I don't look up and continue to run my finger over her lifeline on her palm. I slowly stop and realize what I was doing for the past couple minutes. I quickly let her hand go and take a step back. My face burns in embarrassment. Thoughts running through my mind of why she would even allow me to do that for such a long period of time, well actually any length of time.

I finally look back up and see that Lexa is staring at me like I am some sort of puzzle she is trying to solve before she seems to finally come to a decision.

"Um…I am sorry about that." I stammer out trying to force back my embarrassment of what I just got caught up in doing.

Her eyes almost seemed to glow with mischief at that and gave a slight smirk. "Nothing to worry about Kara. I don't mind you getting distracted by me."

Oh my god. I can't believe she just said that. Play it cool. You totally got this.

Lexa took a small step closer to me with that stupid smirk still on her face. Fuck no you do not got this! Abort! Abort!

She slowly reaches up and out flips a fucking dagger. Holy shit. I couldn't stop the sigh of relief that just slipped out, somehow finding relief in that she reveals a dagger instead of kissing me, though a small part would rather make out with the warrior goddess that she is. God damn it, get a hold of yourself.

Lexa slowly lifts the sharp end of the dagger closer to my face. Suddenly I forget how to breath waiting to see what she does. Cold steel run across my cheek before she reaches out her other hand and grabs a piece of my blood red hair and cuts it off. I can only watch as the piece of hair slowly falls to the floor as I finally allow air back into my lungs.

"You know if you would like I could give you a haircut. I am quite adept at using a blade." She almost purred out, her eyes taking on a hooded look.

I chuckled at that and couldn't stop the smile that showed too many teeth. "I bet you are Heda."

She took a step back at that and kicked at the chair to her left. "Sit Kara."

She looked way too pleased with herself when I slowly sank into the chair.

I could feel her hands start to run through my hair and I leaned more into her touch, not realizing how relaxing it feels. It felt so nice. My mind started to seep into a sleep-like state almost as though I was about to take a nap and I would have no shame falling asleep from her just running her slim fingers through my hair. She stopped running her hands through my hair and placed them on my shoulders causing me to jerk and waking me up from my almost nap. Lexa's breath was hot on my neck. "What would you like me to do?"

'A lot of things,' I couldn't help but think, though I forced that thought aside. I slowly lifted my hands and grabbed Lexa's before running her hands in two parallel lines down my head. "I want to lose the hair on the sides and keep the middle. I have a plan in mind and I can't have hair on either side of my head."

I could hear her hum in understanding. Lexa's takes her hands from mine, grabbing the knife before she starts to cut off large chunks of my hair getting as close to my skull as possible. We didn't say anything the entire time. I just sat there in the quiet and listened to the rhythmic sound of her knife cutting through my hair. Eventually, she finished and stopped cutting. I slowly open my eyes and look around and see the floor looks like someone bled out on it. My heart started to pick up with excitement and my body started to buzz with adrenaline. I stiffened at the thought and I couldn't look away.

"What is wrong Kara?" Lexa quietly asked.

I just kept staring. "So much red," I whisper.

She grips my shoulders a little tighter.

"Does this scare you?"

"No, it's just beautiful and another part of me is excited about what it could mean." I hung my head in shame after I said this out loud.

"Nothing to be ashamed of Kara. You have the spirit of a warrior inside of you. My guards tell me when they came to take Raven you put up a very good fight for someone who had no training and that you did not quit. Be proud of you are Kara. Now give me a minute and I will shave the rest of the hair off. So tell me, why do you need the sides clear of hair?" She asked.

I felt the darker thoughts recede and starting thinking about my totally awesome plan. "Well, Indra said that I can get tattoos and I want to get lines that almost look like waves the go down and around my head, neck, and shoulders. Maybe vines? I am not sure which. Probably the vines so I can always have something from the land on me. I love how everything is green here."

"I have spent almost half of my life in a room that just had white walls. I even had white sheets. The only color I would ever see was when the window in my cell would let me see Earth. If I couldn't see the Earth, there was no color. Just black. It was like the world was void of color. It was scary at times. When I was younger I used to be so scared, I barely can remember a time where I wasn't scared. Indra compared me to a fearful dog when she found me last week. Biting anything that came within arm's reach is what she said. I was and still am scared. I am better about it, but I am still terrified that this is all some weird dream and that one day I will wake up and be back in my cell staring at my white walls. That everything that has happened is just thing I made up in my mind and I have truly lost my mind and am crazy like everyone has ever told me."

"You noticed I have a touch problem, right? Some people who I have actual connections with I am ok with their touch, though I still have jerk reaction, I can stop myself in time from hitting them sometimes. Octavia discovered when we first landed on Earth that when she rests her head against mine I calm down. Of course, the first time she tried I accidentally head-butted her before I realized who she was because she didn't when I had a slight panic attack. She laughed it off saying she should have warned me she was about to do it. That is another thing that has changed since coming here. Anytime touch was involved for me it meant something I didn't like. Going to therapist appointments, taking the medicine, or being moved to a different area mean that the guards would usually cuff my wrists. There were even a few times after I became particularly violent to the guards they would strap all my limbs down and I wouldn't be able to move. When I was younger my mom was never the nicest. She was fine till she started drinking and then she would hit me. Now though I know with some people it means pleasant things, like a hug. It's nice."

"The whole haircutting thing and then tattoos are like me opening a new chapter in my book of life. I wasn't allowed to be me that was why I needed the medication because the 'me' inside was dangerous. I was there but I wasn't. It was like watching a movie. Now. Now I can be who I want, and I can do what I want. The ultimate freedom and it is beautiful Lexa. From having no control to this, it is amazing. Now I can learn how to fight with a sword, or maybe a spear? Hell, I can even learn how to use a bow and arrow."

I think that was the most I have talked in years about how I am feeling or about my life. I then realized I didn't feel Lexa using the knife anymore. I felt myself stiffen and my spine straighten. I could still feel her behind me, I felt the nervous energy just flowing through every vein in my body. I gave a violent flinch when two strong hands land on my shoulders in a tight grip. The pressure started to slowly increase until I knew if she squeezed any harder she would leave a bruise. The funny part was that I did not feel any fear from her hurting me but from her knowing how rotten I am, how my soul isn't meant for the goodness of life but for the evil.

It was as though she seemed to know her grip was to tight and where my thoughts were leading too because then Lexa let go of my shoulders and moved her hands slowly up my neck and then started to move lightly over the smooth part of my head before moving to the middle and started to lightly run her hands through my hair. I gave a hard shudder and she just kept running her hands through it. I felt my whole body start to slowly relax till I was leaning back in the chair fully, my head hanging off the back of the chair as well. I gave off a loud sigh of contentment.

I slowly opened my eyes and ocean blue met fiery green. I just kept staring as she started to slowly braid my hair. The relaxing movements and the quiet made me slowly close my eyes again. I let out another relaxed sigh and sank further into Lexa's hands.

I felt one last slight pull and then Lexa's hands started to run down the braids she made in my hair.

I slowly opened my eyes again and I could see that she was still staring at me but her eyes were not as hard as earlier, they almost seemed soft. She slowly moved from behind me to the front of the chair as though she was approaching a scared animal. I moved my eyes to watch her as she did this. I lifted my head up to see her move her hands slowly almost waiting for me to say no, closer to my face. I didn't flinch or move any muscle as I waited to see what she would do though the need to was very strong.

I couldn't figure out why she was acting like this. I felt nervous and scared that maybe I had done something wrong.

Her strong hands reached around and softly grasped my head and placed her head on mine, successfully blocking anything else from my view. My skin tingled from where she touched and sent pleasant thrums of energy to the rest of my body.

"This calms you down, yes? It makes sense. It blocks out all else and lets you focus on what is right in front of you. All I can see is you and nothing else. What I see in front of me is someone who is becoming stronger with each passing day. You will be a very strong warrior Kara kom Skaikru. You have the spirit and the grit for it. From what I have heard from you and from others shows that you have every reason to give up and quit but you have not. I greatly look forward to the day when you achieve everything that you deserve. You have what it takes to survive on the ground with your spirit."

With those last words, she backed away and offered her hand.

"Now come, Kara, it is time we give you the weapons you need for your journey."

She kept her hand out and continued to stare into my eyes, telling me to trust her. It felt as though she was staring into my very soul. My eyes started to tear up a little before I reached out and grabbed her forearm and she pulled me from the chair. She gave one final squeeze of my arm and started to leave the room. I was quick to follow with a massive grin on my face and feeling happier than I have ever felt.

* * *

I got my ass kicked. There is no way to deny it or argue. I got my ass kicked. Every part of my body hurt. I knew I was going to be sore today but I didn't think I could feel every twitch or small movement of my body as I moved but in no way did I regret it.

I couldn't be happier though. I know I must look crazy. I could feel the happiness burning through my whole body energizing every part of me, allowing me to ignore any of my tight muscles.

Lexa had given me twin swords because when she had asked what I wanted to learn how to use first I had told her I wanted a challenge. She just laughed at me and then smirk she had given me was almost vicious and holy shit was her laugh the most beautiful sound I had ever heard in my entire life. I currently had them strapped to my back and was loving the added weight. It made me feel slightly safer to be by myself and gave me more confidence to be by myself. She had also given me my own knife to have when we had returned to her tent for her grab her weapons before throwing a hard leather armor chest piece at me saying she didn't want to hurt me too bad. The laugh she had given me after telling me that was not comforting in any way shape or form.

The swords weren't anything special both about the length of my arms with a simple handle made of dark leather and no crossguards. Both were solid black. While the knife had a wooden handle and the blade itself was the size of my hand with flowing lines covering it almost like the knife that I used against Jaha. To another person, they wouldn't be that special or pretty but to me? I thought they were the most beautiful things I have ever had the opportunity to own and have. Just the simple thought of these things were now mine had caused a few tears to leak from my eyes before Lexa had bumped my shoulder with hers and giving me a small smile as though she knew what I was thinking.

When I had the swords in hand she immediately strapped them to my back and showed me how to buckle them on and how to strap the dagger holder onto me as well. After we walked to a small clearing next to the war meeting building, Lexa had shown me how to properly hold both the swords and how to properly attack, each move made with both fluidity and grace. Then she took the sword in my left hand and told me she wanted to first work on my dominant hand and switch later to my non-dominant. Then the training from hell started.

Apparently, she didn't have any pressing issues to handle that day because the generals from the other tribes would be arriving sometime today, so she was taking the day before off to gather everything she needed. I felt like I was a stress reliever from the ass-kicking she gave me. I was barely able to block half of her attacks, the speed with which she moved was astounding.

I made the bad assumption that she would go easier on me because I was a beginner but that obviously didn't happen. The further into the training to better I became and was able to block more and more of her attacks. When the day was over, and I was covered in sweat, blood, and bruises. I could not have been more happy or proud of myself though. Lexa even said I was a quick study and was surprised that I had the basic handle of double wielding the blades down in one day. She promised we could work more on it later.

I couldn't wait to tell Indra, knowing she would be proud of me. I adjusted my shirt once more before glancing down to see if I was missing anything. I was wearing my normal everyday outfit with the added bonus of having a hard leather tunic that covered my chest but not my arms, allowing someone to see the sleeves of my black shirt. I adjust it once more before walking out of my room, slightly blinded by the light before my eyes adjusted.

I looked around and saw blonde hair walking towards the war room. I quickly broke into a jog ignoring my sore muscles as I raced to catch up to Clarke. I couldn't help but wonder what she had ended up doing yesterday, I hadn't seen her all day though I honestly didn't look that hard for her.

"Clarke! Wait up!" I call out.

Clarke stopped real quick and turned and saw that it was me running towards her. As I walked to her I was able to see her smile that was on her face slowly slide off only to replaced by a look of confusion.

"Who gave you the weapons and armor?" Clarke asked real quick and then as an afterthought added after glancing up at my hair: "And the haircut?"

I couldn't stop the smile that slipped on my face. I ran my hand down the braids that we still firmly on my head, greatly enjoying the feel of them and happy that they still looked nice after Lexa had done them yesterday.

"Do you like it? Lexa did it. And she gave me the weapons and chest piece as well. She wants to help me on my way to becoming stronger and eventually a full-fledged warrior," My smile turned almost bloodthirsty when I added the last part.

"Kara you aren't allowed to have any weapons yet." She told me with a small frown.

I felt my blood boil at that and my smile fell. "Well, Heda gave them to me. I want to become strong and it is not like I am going to go out and go stab happy Clarke. I want to become a warrior and I can't do that if I don't have any weapons. Please just be happy for me." I felt the anger battling with the worry that she would take this from me and became more worried as the seconds passed and Clarke did not say anything to me.

She finally let out a loud sigh and hung her head before returning her gaze to me. "I guess that is a good point and you would probably make a hell of a good warrior."

I didn't even think of it and just rushed forward and pulled her into a hard and tight hug. She didn't move for a second before she slowly reached her around my back and gave me an equally hard squeeze.

"Thank you," I whispered into her ear.

I let go and moved back. "So today is the meeting with the other generals correct?"

Clarke just nods her head at this and joins me in walking to the war room.

"I am staying with you. I don't want you alone. I don't trust any of the other tribes yet." I quickly state. The way I told her left no room to argue.

She just chuckled. "I have no say in this don't I?"

"Nope, none at all." I give her a quick hip check and Clarke stumbled slightly, the grin I give her is mocking before I just laughed and walked a little faster to escape her upset.

* * *

So, this meeting was going to shit. I was trying to keep my mind calm but everyone was just downing Clarke's plan. Seriously the only smart one at the table is Lexa. It was like she was given all the brains and the leftovers were split between these assholes. I had stopped listening and finally tuned back in when I heard that neanderthal Quint tell Clarke that she was very brave under the commander's protection. He started to lean in to close to her.

I didn't even think. I grabbed one of the swords off my back and placed it on his neck. I bared my teeth at him. "It is not because of the Commander's protection she is brave," I growled out at him ignoring how my blood was starting to boil and the need to spill blood increased.

He finally noticed I was standing right next to Clarke and took in my features seemingly shocked that I would be that bold. I watched as his hand lowered to his dagger at this belt. When he did this I reached and started to slowly draw my other sword when I heard the Commander tell us that was enough.

"You got lucky," I sneered at him and took a step back and placed the other sword away. I didn't stop glaring at the man ignoring the very tense Skaikru guard that was positioned behind Clarke. I wanted to bathe in his blood and relish in his death.

Lexa then agreed with Quint and I couldn't help the disappointment I felt. Clarke said she needed air and I made sure to follow her.

I kept at a slight distance to watch her. I was especially nervous because Quint had vanished almost as quickly as Clarke did and with the way, his eyes followed her as she left the meeting room did nothing to ease any feeling I had about the man.

I am glad I followed because I could then hear him mock her "Not so brave now," from slightly ahead of me. I didn't see what happened but heard a thunk of something hitting wood, but she started to run and when I ran past where she just was I saw the arrow. I quickly drew my swords and sprinted after her trying to run as fast possible to catch up to her.

Clarke was a quick little thing that was for sure. I had barely caught up when she started to run again. I had no clue why she started running again but I picked up the pace to catch her sooner.

I finally found her after Lexa had thrown her knife into Quint's arm. I was pissed. The red haze was quickly taking over my sight and gritting my teeth was doing nothing in trying to gain control of myself. I could barely keep myself my shoving my swords into his back.

I didn't listen to any words that were being said as I could only focus on the man's back.

"The kill is yours, Clarke," Lexa told her.

"Blood must have blood," I muttered to her.

Right as I almost lost my patience and stabbed him, a loud roar echoed through the trees and forced me back in control, the red haze quickly vanishing.

" _Pauna."_ Lexa uttered and with those words she slashed Quint's leg and screamed for us to run. I followed making sure to keep right behind Clarke.

Clarke accidentally brought us into whatever the hell the things feeding ground was. The place reeked of rotten flesh and massive amounts of spilled blood with each outcropping of rock that held either a dead animal or very clean bones. When we reached the top of the rock hill a fucking gorilla popped out of no-where and killed Lexa's guard who was still positioned at the bottom of the rock hill. I felt almost overwhelmed by this fear and it was almost as bad as the first time I was sedated as I looked at the utterly massive animal.

Clarke fired four shots to its face and causing the gorilla to hit the ground with a loud thud. I could only feel the ice cold relief that we might actually be safe till the fucking thing came back up doing a real-life jump scare.

I ran after Clarke and Lexa making sure they jumped first. Clarke was fine jumping off the balcony but when Lexa did it she landed wrong, crying out in pain and clutching her left arm as she slowly tried to stand. I jumped down and landed easily on my feet, ignoring the small part of my mind that was telling that I should have hurt something but focused instead on the current situation and helped pick Lexa up and started to run as quickly as possible while carrying her.

Clarke was first through the hole and then I went next dragging Lexa right behind me. Right when I would have been able to kick the pipe out holding the gate open the gorilla grabbed Lexa and started to pull. I increased the grip I already had on her as I tried to pull her back, barely able to hold on to her from how strong gorilla was. My eyes started to burn before it disappeared, making me wonder if I actually even felt anything, to begin with.

"CLARKE SHOOT THE FUCKING THING!" I screamed. I couldn't lose Lexa ignoring how if she did get taken then the last thing I would ever see of her would be the fear-ridden face that also looked as though she accepted what was about to happen. I pulled harder and was seconds away from grabbing one of my swords to stab the son of a bitch when Clarke finally unloaded the rest of the clip into the fucking things face and chest.

I ripped Lexa through the gate and slammed my foot into the pipe causing the gate to finally fall. Lifting Lexa up again and following after Clarke who opened up another door. She got the door closed before grabbing Lexa's sword on her back to use as a barricade to keep the door closed.

After placing Lexa up against a structure in the middle of the room, I fell to my knees and didn't look away from her letting myself soak in the fact that we, for now, had escaped the massive beast. I was trying to control my breathing and calm down but I couldn't. It was getting harder to get air in, black spots were beginning to form in my vision as I couldn't stop the memory of the fear in Lexa's eyes, hearing the roar of the animal and Lexa yelling at us to leave her. The utter fear and acceptance of her fate plain to see in her eyes. It repeated over and over and over again, each replay of the memory causing everything to feel heavier.

A strong hand grabbed the back of my head and rested their face against mine but I could only see fear filled green eyes. I was too trapped in the memory. The person leaned back only to hit my head on theirs allowing the pain to bring me back to the present. When I could finally see in front of me I could see anxious green eyes, swimming with sadness and worry while also calmly looking back at me, a small part of me was impressed that she could convey all those different emotions. She took her good hand off the back of my head, reached down and grabbing my hand and then placing it on her chest before grabbing the back of my head again. I felt her chest rise calmly. She was taking deep breathes in and out.

It was then I realized once more that my breathing was still erratic and too fast. I started to try and slow it down to match hers. I could even feel her heart beat slightly on my hand, calming my mind further knowing that she was still alive and breathing. I couldn't see anything or hear anything that wasn't Lexa. I blocked out everything till I was finally able to calm down, each breath now full and even, no longer hitching and gasping for air.

I allowed my eyes to close and gave Lexa a weak smile to show my thanks.

"Good," she whispered to me before giving the back of my head one final squeeze and scooting back to rest against the pillar but never allowing her eyes to move away from me.

I shifted my legs to where I was sitting cross-legged instead of just on my knees. My legs felt the relief instantly as blood finally started to flow once more.

How long were we doing that and can only assume it was awhile. I just continued to breathe in and out and focused on the fact that we were all safe for the moment.

I finally checked back in when Lexa began to speak once more.

"You both should have left me there. Now we all shall die instead of just one."

I didn't care that she was recently hurt. I leaned over and punched her hard in the arm, giving her a challenging glare. "Don't say that again," I hissed at her.

She gave me an equally challenging glare, though I could see part of her looked to regret those words but not much.

"I am new to your culture but aren't you supposed to be grateful towards someone that saved your life and say thank you?" Clarke questioned.

"No, it was a weakness," Lexa stated back.

I felt the brief flash of pain from that statement before the anger came back.

"That was not weakness Lexa! Weakness is taking the easy way out and the easy would have wound up with your death. If that makes us weak then so be it but I would rather be weak than you to not be alive!" My words harsh and I could there was another brief flash of regret in Lexa's eyes.

"What you don't understand is that you both need to be able to make hard choices."

Clarke scoffed at those words. "You are telling me I need to be able to make hard choices."

"Yes, Clarke. I have seen your strength its true but now you waver. You could not kill Quint and you couldn't leave me to die. You should have grabbed Kara and ran. That was weakness." She stated the confidence of those words ringing through the air.

"I thought love was weakness," Clarke responded sarcastically.

"Mockery is not the product of a strong mind Clarke," Lexa told her. _(A/N: Seriously one of my favorite lines.)_

"You want to know why we saved you? Or why Kara was so hell-bent on saving you? We need you. God forbid one of your generals becomes Commander. You may be heartless but at least you're smart."

"Seriously it was like you were given all the brains and the rest were given the small leftovers to share. It seriously is not pretty and I could only imagine how terrible things would become if you weren't in charge," I couldn't help but butt into their conversation.

Lexa turned back to look at me before giving me a beautiful smile before her face became passive once more. I could almost believe I imagined it.

"Don't worry my spirit will choose much more wisely than that." My hand reaches out before I could think about it and grabbed the back of her good arm and keep it in a strong grip, trying to not think of what those words just implied.

Lexa turns and gives me a small smile again before turning back to Clarke who seems to be processing and trying to understand what Lexa just said.

"Your spirit?" Clarke asked confused.

"Yes, when I die my spirit will find the next Commander." At this, my grip tightens just a fraction more and I can tell by the small twitch of her arm that she notices.

"Reincarnation. That is how you became Commander?"

"How are your leaders chosen?" Lexa asked confused.

Then the load roars of the creature echo through the room and we could all feel it pounding at the door trying to get in. Each slam of the gorilla caused Lexa's sword to bend only slightly more.

"Don't be afraid. Death is not the end." Lexa commands.

"Fuck that. We are all just gonna keep our spirits where they are!" I yell before taking both swords off my back and handing one to Lexa to have.

Lexa gives a positive nod of her head at my words and actions. "I am ready to fight here when it comes in." Lexa twirls the sword in her hand and I couldn't help but stare in amazement at how smooth the action was.

I was trying to think of all the ways we could kill the gorilla, but none were looking too positive for us at this point, knowing that at least one of us was about to die or at worst all of us would. I couldn't let Lexa or Clarke die. I would gladly give my life to let both of them live knowing the sad truth that I did not really bring anything to the table for the alliance and in all honesty, I was probably the biggest liability we had.

I grit my teeth placing those thoughts to rest. "Alright. LET'S DO THIS!" I roar.

Clarke just shakes her head before she seems to get an idea. She runs towards the door. "Maybe we let it in."

I can't help but agree because this whole waiting thing is just killing me. I couldn't stop the small bark of laughter that slips out at such a stupid pun. Lexa turns and gives me a curious look and Clarke looks mildly concerned for a second.

We keep ourselves pressed against the wall and I make sure that Lexa is in front of me.

"Now!" Clarke screams and throws the sword holding the door closed away from the hooks.

The door slams open and the gorilla goes rolling to the floor strong enough to roll to the back of the room hitting the wall as it slowly tries to stand. Clarke grabs Lexa and basically throws her out of the room and I soon follow making sure the two are fully out of the room before following.

I close the door behind me and slam the lockdown sending a small prayer that the door will hold long enough for all of us to safely get away.

"Let's go." Clarke quickly leaving the hallway.

"I fucking second that." I reach out and grab Lexa's good arm and start dragging her away from the door and what I am pretty sure was a zoo at one point.

* * *

We ran for a while before we finally stopped, and Lexa made us a small fire, the small source of heat slightly comforting. Lexa said she would watch over us as we rested. Clarke quickly laid down and fell asleep. I had my back against a tree to Lexa's right but did not close my eyes instead turning my head to look at Lexa.

It was almost like my brain needed to make sure she was ok and that now I could finally relax it had to make sure she stayed safe from harm.

Lexa could clearly tell I was watching her but let me continue to look, occasionally turning to look at me before looking back at to the surrounding forest. After a couple minutes, I finally stood up and walked over and sat down next to Lexa. I held my hand out for her knife that she held and was quietly fiddling with.

She seemed to question the hand before slowly dropping the knife into my mine. I looked down and traced my fingers over the blade that looked very similar to mine. Making me wonder if this was where my mine came from if the same man or woman had forged the two blades. I liked how whoever made them had engraved the lines in it and then finally realized that yes this was the blade that I killed Jaha with. I placed the knife down in my lap after inspecting it and then returned my gaze back to Lexa.

I reached my hand out once more and grabbed a hold of Lexa's. I opened her hand and began to softly trace the lifeline in her palm.

"You need to be more careful Lexa," I whisper. I don't stop tracing her palm or even look up, but I do hear the hard sigh she gives at this.

"Did you know that you were the first one to see me in years and not look on in worry or fear of what I might do? No one has done that. I know Octavia doesn't say anything, but I can tell sometimes she becomes worried when I start to do weird things. You don't though and for that, I can't thank you enough. So please be more careful," I finally look up at her and was able to see as her shoulders dropped and her eyes screaming that she was both pleased and upset by what I had just told her.

"I promise Kara."

" _Mochof Leksa."_

" _Pro,"_ She tells me.

A particularly loud roar from the gorilla is heard as well as a bang from far off and with that sound, Clarke shoots awake. I let go of Lexa's hand before she can look over.

"Don't worry you are safe," Lexa tells Clarke.

I chuckle a little at this and look at her injured arm before I bump her with my shoulder. Lexa just rolls her eyes at my actions before I quietly return her knife to her.

I can see that she is thinking something over, but I just continue to let her think. We all stand ready to go but none of us really saying anything.

"Clarke wait," I look over at Lexa and give her a confused look while Clarke looks over equally as confused as I.

"I was wrong about you Clarke. Your heart shows no sign of weakness." Well, I guess that is the closest any of us will ever get to an apology.

Clarke just gives a slight shake of her head at that and starts to walk away. "We should get moving that cage won't hold forever."

And then Clarke just stops. If this was a cartoon I swear one of those lightbulbs would have turned on over her head.

She turns back to where the roars and bangs are happening. "The cage won't hold."

She turns back to Lexa and me. "I think I know how to take down Mount Whether. We have been trying to get in, but they have already let us inside."

"What are you talking about?" Lexa asks.

"Your army is already there. Locked in cages. If Bellamy can get them out, then we have our way inside." I couldn't stop my smile at that thought.

"Your inside man, Bellamy. You have faith in him?" Lexa can't help but ask.

"I do," Clarke confirms.

"Your faith better be well placed for if he can't do this then we have no way to win against the Mountain." Look at her go. Placing her trust in others. I feel pretty proud at this point and can't keep the smile off my face.

Clarke starts stamping out the fire and continues "This is gonna work!"

"Hell yea!" I shout throwing a fist in the air.

I take one last glance at where the gorilla was before jogging to catch up to the two in front of me. This is gonna be fucking great I can't help but think as the bloodthirsty smirk came across my face.

* * *

I keep telling myself to do two episodes per chapter but then I just keep doing a single episode. Whatever. I get to rewatch the show while I do it so like win-win for me? Hopefully, you liked the chapter. I am bad at making moments so hopefully, the first part wasn't a total disaster.

* * *

Revised 12/24/17


	8. Resurrection

Holy shit this is chapter seven. Technically chapter 8 because of my baby preface I made. Glad people are still reading this. Getting close to my second favorite episode. This chapter will episodes 11, 12, and 13 mashed together. Kara stays with Lexa because I don't like the idea of her going with Clarke back to Camp Jaha. Also, this is one of those chapters where I bend time a little to alter it to fit what I am trying to do.

Remember I own nothing.

* * *

Chapter Seven

"Good. Again" Lexa instructed.

I threw my right arm forward at her head and when she ducked I threw my left leg out and swept her legs out from under her causing her to fall to the ground once again.

She had a smile on her face. "See not so hard. Now we try as if I actually knew something."

Her smile changed to smirk when she got up.

Well fuck I am screwed.

I threw my right arm out once again and when she ducked I swept my left leg out. When I did this, she grabbed it and threw it up causing me to lose my balance and fall hard on my back. I felt the air whoosh out of my lungs.

I quickly rolled away and jumped back up only to get a fist right to my face when I did.

"Never look away from the enemy Kara." She told me as threw another first at me.

I blocked it with my left and punched her on her right side.

"Good," Lexa said as she backed up a little, pride shining in her eyes.

We started to slowly circle each other. I was losing patience when I finally ran forward to try and tackle her to the ground. She jumped out of the way and I fell to the ground from throwing my weight forward like that.

She quickly jumped on my back and held my wrists down and no matter how hard I tried to throw her off or roll my body she didn't move.

"God, I hate you sometimes did you know that. I can now officially say I now know the taste of dirt and I hate it," I mutter.

Lexa just laughed and didn't move off my back.

"Well isn't that just a pity." She whispered in my ear. I felt a cold chill run through my body.

"Yes, it truly is. Now get off my back my illustrious Heda."

Her only reply was to place more of her weight on me and grinds her hips into mine, I barely stop myself from releasing a moan, "I kind of like where I am."

"How no one knows how big of a child you are I will never know." I can't help but reply back.

"You know you find it endearing Kara." With that, she gets off.

I break into a giant grin and feel happiness flood my whole body. I stand back up and dust myself off and right when I open my mouth to reply, one of the riders that went with Clarke earlier comes running into the clearing.

I watch as Lexa instantly goes into her Heda mode and can't fight back the slight disappointment because of that.

"Heda," the man bowed quickly.

"Report."

"We were riding back to Camp Jaha and when we were stopped for water one of the riders. A shot rang out and hit one of our men. Ryder killed the mountain man with an arrow and the other was taken captive and then transported to Camp Jaha. When we found the sniper, we learned that they had pictures of you Heda and Clarke. You are being targeted."

"Shit," I whispered.

I started to quickly look in all directions seeing if maybe I can spot something. I didn't see anything but that didn't reassure me at all.

"Heda we need to get you inside now," I say with no emotion. I haven't taken my eyes off the woods around us.

Lexa didn't move and narrowed her eyes at me.

"We are not done training Kara. I will not hide because this isn't the first time I have been targeted nor the last and I never hide."

I grabbed my hair and felt the braids loosen when I did. I pulled harder and harder till it turned into a burning pain.

"UGH!" I shout.

I let go of my hair and tackle Lexa to the ground. I landed on top and get one good shot at her before she flips us over and returns the favor. My head gets thrown back after the punch and hits the earth hard. It makes everything fuzzy.

I scream out and throw her off of me. I jump back up and barely think as I rush forward and try to punch her in her face. She leans down to avoid the blow but when she does this I use my other arm to throw a massive punch to her side, the blow landing.

Lexa's eyes widen in sudden surprise and I heard her wheeze out a breath after. Her eyes narrow, in anger and I, can see the flames appear in her eyes. It reminds of the stories of Greek fire.

I bare my teeth at her. The small voice in head tells me I need to calm down, but the other is screaming out for blood and for her to understand the danger she is in.

Lexa then rushes me and throws a series of blows that I barely block till she throws one last one that hits me to the left temple. I get thrown back and almost lose my balance. I see black spots in my vision and my vision finally turns red.

I release a savage war cry and then I am running forward. I throw my arm forward and grab her arm, tighten my hold and then twist using her own body weight against her to throw Lexa to the ground. She rolls to the ground and barely had time to get on her knees before I kick out viciously and hit her on the side where I had earlier landed a blow.

A brief flash of pain covers her face before I throw another kick which Lexa manages to catch. She twists my foot violently and I feel myself lose balance and twist before landing heavily on my side. The dagger strapped to my side feels like it broke something when I landed and if it didn't I know the bruise is going to be massive.

I barely have to time to give out a cry of pain before I find myself on my back with something heavy on top of me and then feel three quick punches to my face. Dazing me and finally allowing me to clear the violent thoughts.

I blink a couple times and finally see that Lexa is on top of me and she has a look of both fury and worry on her face.

"Lexa?" I question.

I watch let her let out a sigh, but her face doesn't soften.

"What is your name?" Lexa asks.

"Kara," I answer automatically.

"What are you, Kara?"

"I am a warrior Heda."

"What do warriors never do Kara?"

"Never let the anger cloud their judgment. They need to keep calm in times of stress and battle to make smart decisions."

"Correct. Now Kara, what did you just do?"

I let my head hit the earth and close my eyes for a second. I feel her slap my face a couple times. I open my eyes again to see her stony glare still in place.

"What did you just do Kara?" Lexa asks again.

"I allowed my emotions to get the better of me and didn't keep calm."

"What would have happened if I was the enemy?"

I release another sigh.

"I would have probably died."

Lexa's face softens a little and can see the pleased look in her eye. This exchange has happened more than once since I started training. It usually happens like it did earlier when I feel she isn't listening or I don't know how to express what I am feeling and become angry. I feel almost like a small child when I react like that.

"Correct. Now with words this time explain to me why I should stay inside." She smirks.

"You can be killed at thousands of meters away and we would never see it coming. It is dangerous to be out in the open." I answer

"See Kara that was not so hard and as I said before I do not cower. I am Heda. I will be more careful, but I will not be changing how I am doing anything. You need to accept that." Lexa orders me.

" _Sha, Heda,"_ I answer back.

"Good," Lexa climbs off me.

"You did pretty well, considering how far gone in a rage you were. I would say that we are done with hand to hand today. Now we move to our swords." With this Lexa walks over and picks up both my blades and throws them at me before grabbing her own.

I manage to catch both swords before giving her a dark look. Thank god, I am coordinated enough or that would have been difficult. At least my head isn't spinning anymore.

* * *

I felt Lexa poke me in the side of the head again. I couldn't stop the hiss of pain. I slapped her hand away from me. Her eyes filled with mirth. It was the first time I had seen her somewhat happy in the past couple days.

"Seriously, is the only reason you let me get the tattoos now is that you knew it would be like this?"

Her smirk just widened and quickly poked me in the side of the neck.

"God damn it, Lexa. Please stop." I gently hold my hand up to my neck careful not to touch too hard on the skin. It still felt very sensitive from earlier in the day.

She didn't say anything and kept that stupid smirk on her face.

"This is just my way of getting even from the other day when you lost control," Lexa replied.

I felt like I was just punched in the chest. I felt like a massive wave of self-hatred just hit me. My smile fell off my face as I looked at the ground.

Lexa lifted my head up with a finger. "Recognize your mistakes Kara and own them."

Lexa looked behind me and saw that they were opening the gate to the village. I turned expecting to see another random nations generals to enter only to see that it was Indra and Octavia along with a couple other warriors. I felt my body start to burn with energy. I had heard the news that Octavia had become Indra's second and I couldn't be more proud and happy for her.

I started to twitch with the need to catch her in a hug but I contained myself. I shook my head a little and just kept the giant smile on my face.

"We will be having a discussion later on how you didn't feel the need to tell me they were coming today," I muttered darkly at Lexa.

Lexa just lifted an eyebrow at that. "Honestly just slipped my mind."

"Liar liar pants on fire," I told her.

Lexa just looked down at her pants and looked back up at me confused. I couldn't help but chuckle.

"I'll tell you later."

She just nodded her head.

Indra appeared before us. She bowed her head _"Heda"_

Lexa nodded her head and turned. "Come Indra and tell me what happened at the Skaikru camp."

I followed behind them. Lexa had made it clear before Clarke left that I was supposed to be within her sight at all times. I didn't mind. Lexa was teaching me how to fight and beneath her tough exterior, I have learned she can be pretty awesome and very insightful which can be nice at times.

I kept in step with Octavia and just gave her a grin when she looked over. Her hand came up and touched the still sensitive skin. I hissed and slapped her hand away. "What the hell Oct? Lexa was just doing the same thing. It is still sensitive ok?"

Octavia just smirked at that. "So the Commander was touching you?" she gave a quick wink.

I felt my cheeks heat up at that. "Shut up," I mumble before I walk a little faster.

I slow down again and turn serious, feeling almost emotional whiplash from the stark difference in emotions. I stop and grab Octavia's arm. "You will be placed in the watch around the village. Keep your eyes open. If something happens to Lexa because of a mistake on your watch or someone else's, I don't care whose fault it is I will kill them and it won't be quick either."

My grip tightened a little more. "Do you understand Octavia?"

Her eyes widened, and I could see the slight fear gather. I felt bad about it but not a lot.

"I understand."

I nodded my head. "Listen to Indra and you shouldn't have a problem, my friend."

I let go of her arm and moved to catch up with Indra and Lexa. Lexa just turned and raised an eyebrow at me but didn't say anything. Indra just narrowed her eyes.

I didn't regret what I said and I wouldn't change my mind. If something did happen and Lexa died no one in the mountain would be safe. They would all beg for their death.

* * *

I was standing next to Lexa when I heard that, who they assumed was Clarke, was riding towards the village. I didn't move from her side. I was worried about Clarke as well but right now Lexa was my main concern. The last day I had been busy. Indra trained Octavia and me into the ground when she wasn't handling something in the village. I made sure to keep the entrance of the building that Lexa was in, in sight at all times. Anytime she left I made sure to follow her around.

Clarke walked up to the both of us. Kane was standing behind Lexa and me.

"Clarke of the sky people has honored us with her presence."

Oh god, that sounded so sarcastic. I barely held back the laugh.

"I assume the kids at Mount Whether are still ok?" Marcus asked.

"They are fine for now." She replied.

Something was wrong. I could see it on her face. I kept my face passive and tried to think what could be wrong. Clarke turned to Lexa and spoke.

"Can we speak in private?' She asked.

"Yes, this way." Lexa turned and walked away. I quickly followed and neither said anything when I walked into the meeting room with them. I kept near Lexa. I didn't trust Clarke right now. Something was about to happen that wasn't good. I could feel the unease and anxiety start to eat away at the calm I was trying to keep. I knew one small thing might break it and I would lose control.

Clarke didn't say anything for a minute before she finally took a deep breath. "The mountain is going to send a missile here."

I hissed and couldn't help but reach out and grab Lexa's arm pulling her towards the exit. Every exit strategy running through my head. She slapped my hand away before turning back to Clarke.

"A missile? You are sure?" Lexa asked.

"We have to start evacuating. Now" Clarke said.

I didn't care about the others. Maybe Indra and Octavia but all I could think of was that Lexa needed to leave now. I needed her to live she was important to everything that was happening, and she was becoming very important to me. I don't know what I would do if she died.

"No," Lexa stated.

"What do you mean no Lexa?" Clarke seemed shocked.

"If we evacuate then they know we have a spy in their walls. We can't risk it."

I was getting anxious. A whine leaked out.

"Lexa, we need to go now." I pleaded.

Lexa nodded her head. And walked towards where she kept the cloaks.

"Kara, you can't possibly agree with this. What about all the people in the village?" Clarke seemed even more shocked by my answer, that I was even agreeing with Lexa.

"What's the point of an inside man if we don't act on what he gives us?" Lexa asked.

"Is the acid fog disabled? Is my secret army uncaged?" Lexa asked.

Clarke looked down and rejected. "No."

"Then Bellamy's job is not done. Without him, we cannot win this war." Lexa seethed out.

"So what are you saying? That we should let them bomb us? What about telling the other generals?"

I was losing my patience. My heart was starting to beat erratically. "Clarke for the love of God. Shut up. We need to leave now. I care about the others, but my main concern is the two of you, especially Lexa."

Lexa nodded her head. "Kara is right. This will be a blow, but the army is hidden in the woods and when this happens we can use it as a rallying cry. It will bring the tribes closer together. We can't tell the generals because they will tell some of their people. Where will the cutoff point be Clarke?"

Clarke was starting to look more frantic. "What about us?"

She nodded her head in my direction. "We are doing like Kara said. We are leaving. We will slip out, right now." Lexa grabbed hold of a couple cloaks and threw one to Clarke and handed me another.

"You don't understand Lexa. This is my fault. I challenged the mountain, I sent a message, so they would look at us instead of Bellamy inside the mountain."

Lexa just lets out a sigh. "Sometimes you must concede a battle to win a war."

Clarke seemed to flip her shit at this and started yelling.

"Well then cancel the meeting."

"Clarke, we don't have time for this!" Lexa yelled.

I moved closer to the gate on the opposite side of the room and was about to open it when she started yelling.

"No! This is wrong"

Lexa had just reached me when Clarke grabbed her. I didn't think I just took my sword out and pointed it at her.

Lexa ripped her arm out of Clarke's grip. I was on the brink of losing the precious amount of control I had left. I could feel the need to just grab Lexa and run increasing at an alarming rate. My arm was steady as I kept my sword next to Clarke's neck.

Lexa reached her hand out and slowly lowered my arm. I just growled at that but put it away on my back.

"It is also our only choice and you know it. You could have warned everyone up there and you didn't. You said nothing. Not even to your own people. This is war Clarke, people die. You showed true strength today. Don't let emotions stop you now. It's time to go." With that final word, Lexa finally turned and walked out the gate.

I grabbed Clarke right as she was about to pass. My grip was very close to being bruising.

"Don't touch her again. Do you understand?" I hissed out.

Clarke just slowly nodded her head and I let go of her arm and walked towards Lexa who waited for us. Lexa lifted an eyebrow at me before walking away again. I made sure I was quick to follow.

* * *

We made to the edge of the village. It was finally night time. Weren't far enough away yet. We needed to hurry.

Clarke stopped and looked at the village.

"Clarke, we have to keep moving. We are not far enough." Lexa whispered.

She took a couple steps toward Clarke. "The last time they used a missile was before I was born. According to legend, it left a hole in the woods that you could not see across. Now let's go." With that Lexa turned to me and walked away.

"What if we made them miss?" I could hear the desperation in her voice.

"You are not listening. With a weapon like that, you can't miss."

"Yes, they can. I heard them talking about a spotter. Someone in the field to aim the missile. If we could just find him." Clarke looked back towards the village.

"No" Clarke uttered. I looked at the village and saw Doctor Griffin walking around. Well shit. This just got 5 x's more complicated, I knew she wasn't going to just leave her mother to this.

"What's she doing here?"

"Clarke, you can't go back."

Clarke ran back towards the village.

"Clarke" Lexa almost shouted.

I let a whimper out again. I grabbed Lexa's arm. I knew I would leave bruises on her arm, but I didn't care.

"Lexa please," I begged.

"We need to run now. Forget Clarke you tried." And with that, we both took off in a run.

We were barely running for a couple minutes before I saw the missile coming. Lexa was slightly ahead of me. I turned and saw it about to hit.

I leaped forward and tackled Lexa, protecting her with my body. I felt the force and the heat of the blast. My ears were ringing but I could still hear the screams of the people in the village. I looked up and could see the fire from here.

I quickly got off Lexa and helped her up. I ran my hands over everything I could see. I felt frantic and couldn't get enough oxygen in my lungs.

"Lexa are you ok? Are you hurt anywhere?" I gasped out. I knew I was hyperventilating.

Then I felt lips on mine. Everything stopped. I couldn't breathe. I forgot how to breathe. The lips were soft and everything I thought they would be. My whole body felt alive and was pleasantly tingling.

The lips started to move, and I moved with them. I let out a quiet moan when I felt Lexa slightly nip at my bottom lip.

Lexa moved back. She was breathing heavy. I could barely see the color in her eyes. She then placed head against mine. I couldn't stop staring. Her eyes seemed almost as frantic as mine.

I brought my hands up and gently cupped her cheeks. I brought my lips to hers once more. Everything calmed. It was soft and everything I had ever imagined it to be. I brought my head back and placed it back on hers.

"Lexa?" I asked again.

" _Sha Kara"_ she then gripped me in a hug.

"I am alright. You helped protect me, my warrior." She whispered into my neck. I was able to place my head slightly on hers.

I let out a sigh of relief and just gripped onto her harder. I felt something wet on my face. I then realized I was crying.

"That was too close Lexa. Way too close. You need to be more careful. You promised me you would be more careful. When I say we run, we run. When you know it is time to leave you need to leave."

I squeezed even harder, feeling her wheeze out a breath from how tight I was holding onto her.

"I know. I promised. We will move quicker next time." She sealed her promise with another kiss.

I pulled back. "We need to find Clarke. She is just as important as you to the alliance. Come but watch the trees. We still do not know where the spotter is." I turned and pulled her with me. I let go of her hand when I knew she was following.

Lexa and I were moving steadily through the forest. You could only hear me moving and I will admit I was totally jealous. I just needed to keep working on it and knew I would have it soon enough.

I made sure to stay in front of Lexa just in case. I didn't see anything but I was still too nervous to let her go in front of me.

We made it the road on the outskirts of the village. I could see two people on the road. One was on the ground and other was walking slowly towards the other. I didn't see that Lexa had passed me until it was to late. I tried to reach out to her but she just moved out of the way of my grip. I let out a slight growl at this.

God damn it can she be stubborn.

"Clarke?" Lexa calls out.

The person doesn't seem to hear her.

"Clarke?" She calls again.

She tries Clarke's name one more time before she turns her around. I feel some of the weight fall off my shoulders. At least I know she is safe for now.

I walk closer to her and can she looks like she is one step away from a mental breakdown.

"I could have warned them." She whispers to Lexa.

"I could have saved them."

"Clarke if they see us they will strike again."

Clarke turned back a little the village. I started looking around. We were to out in the open. I didn't like it. It felt like there were eyes watching.

"Clarke, victory stands on the back of sacrifice. You know that."

Clarke suddenly gets a hard look on her face.

"I want the mountain men dead. All of them."

I moved closer and started to push both of them back into the tree line. "Yes this is a wonderful moment but we are to exposed. We need to move. Now."

Lexa just nods her head and starts moving through the trees again. I grab Clarke to get her to follow.

I stopped when I heard the first shots. I felt my teeth grind. Then a couple more shots followed in quick succession.

"The spotter," Clarke mutters.

"He aimed the missile. He's alone."

"Clarke slow down. If he's a spotter he is here to make we're dead. If he tells the mountain we're alive."

"He won't," Clarke confirms.

"He better not," I mumble darkly making sure to catch Clarke's eyes.

Clarke's eyes shift back and forth between us.

"How can you be sure?" Lexa asks.

"Because I'm gonna kill him," Clarke says.

"Um no, you aren't. Seriously Clarke. I can already see that this whole missile thing didn't do your pretty little head any favors. I am already fucked up. I'll take care of it. Anyways I owe the son of a bitch son payback for trying to hurt Heda. He will wish for death." I crack my knuckles at that. I can almost see the bloodlust pouring off around me.

I don't even stop to wait. I just take off into a light jog following the sound of gunfire.

"It will be light soon and we need to the darkness to hide us." Lexa calmy states.

I just block it out and keep walking. I can hear both of them following behind me.

"I can feel your anger, Clarke," Lexa tells her.

"Do me a favor. No more lessons."

"You need to focus. We do what we must to survive and the enemy does the same. It's not personal."

"Well, it is to me."

"Know what else is gonna personal in a minute. My fist in both your faces. So please just shut up. Lexa, you aren't helping. So please just be quiet and listen to see if you hear anything."

I move a little faster but stop when I hear someone running around ahead of us. I crouch down and take out my right sword.

The darkness isn't helping but he doesn't look like the sniper. I don't see any gun on him.

"Is it him?" I hear Lexa ask.

I shake my head in a negative and hear Clarke give a verbal response.

The other person slowly stands and I can finally make out the features. I quickly stand up and walk quickly towards him and deck him in the face. He looks shocked that I hit him.

I then reach out and grab him in a quick hug before letting go. He seems so confused. "That was for being gone for so long and not knowing if you were ok or not. I had to listen to Octavia complain about it and the hug because I missed you."

I still had a big smile on my face, but he still seems confused to see me.

"Kara?"

He then sees who is behind me.

"Clarke and Commander? Octavia said you both…"

"You've seen Octavia?" Clarke asks.

He gives a positive head shake. "Ya. She survived the explosion but is being pinned down by the sniper."

I feel slightly better knowing that she is ok.

"What about Indra?" I ask quickly.

His face goes pained and I feel my heart stop for a second.

"What happened Lincoln?" I growl out.

"Indra was hit by the sniper. I got her to Nyko and Abby was there as well."

I feel the red haze cover my vision. I hear another shot ring out and take off running. Not caring that I left them behind.

"Shit." I barely hear Clarke mutter.

* * *

The sun had risen by the time we reach the high ground. We take cover behind the rocks when a shot rings out and hits near us. I notice that Lexa is looking towards the village but can barely see through the trees.

"Remember how I said they could shoot really far away and it would be almost too late to catch them? Ya, this is what I was talking about."

Lexa just scowls at me. "Mockery is not the product of a strong mind."

I smirk in reply. "You know you like it."

She doesn't give a reply but I notice that Clarke gives me a what the hell look.

"Ok so you know I am crazy right. Well, I have a plan that is totally terrible but could work. So I am gonna run up and around while Lincoln will run down and around. Hopefully, while he focuses on one of us the other can get behind him. Sounds awesome right?" I can't stop the grin on my face.

Lexa doesn't smile at this but does seem thoughtful. "It might work."

"Cool beans y'all stay here and me and the big boy will go to work."

Clarke leans out and provides some cover fire. While she does that, I sprint up the mountain and just make sure to keep behind trees and rocks as much as possible. I don't hear any bullets hit near me and just keep running up.

I finally turn left and start to descend to the dead tree where the sniper is hiding. I notice that he isn't even looking in my direction but in the direction, that I know Lincoln should about be.

He aims his rifle right about where Lincoln is when I pull my swords out. I quickly slash across the mans back, happy to see the spray of blood and can feel it hit my face. The sniper gives out a yell of pain before falling forward, where he then tries to crawl away. I feel the darker part of my come to the surface.

"Oh, my dear boy we were just getting started." I use my boot to roll him onto his back and then stab both my blades into his legs, going all the way through the ground below.

He gives out a scream of agony. I feel myself start to giggle and then it turns into crazy laughter. A large part of me is enjoying the pain I see on his face.

I dig both swords a little deeper into his legs. "Does that hurt?"

I take my knife out and walk around and sit next to his head. He looks at me fear filled eyes.

"I guess it does. Do you know who I am?"

He quickly shakes his head while saying no.

"Oh." My smile drops.

"Well, it always nice to introduce one's self. My name is Kara. What's yours?"

When I finish the sentence I flick my knife out and leave a large cut on the side of the man's face before leaving an identical one on the other side.

"Oh, that's better. You needed more variety of color. All the dark colors were starting to get depressing."

I hear someone call my name. I turn and I see Lexa standing next to me.

"Oh hey, Lexa." I point to the man.

"Say hi to the Commander mountain man." The man then spits at her.

I slap him harshly across the face and then straddle him. I sit far enough forward not to feel my swords still in his legs.

I use my knife to cut off his shirt and then leave a deep cut running up his torso, before cutting him once more, enjoying the red blooming from his chest.

"Now that wasn't very nice. I think you should apologize."

The man doesn't say anything and continues to look at me. I grow angry and then stab him in the shoulder. He gives out a yell of pain.

I lean forward more "APOLOGIZE NOW!" I scream in his face. He doesn't, and I continue to stab him. Over and over again.

I feel someone rip me off him and then I am under someone. I start thrashing around and screaming.

"HE NEEDS TO APOLOGIZE!"

I feel someone punch me in the face. I just roar back in challenge.

They lean closer and then scream back in my face. The surprise I feel is overwhelming.

I tilt my head to the side trying to figure out who is on top of me. I feel another quick punch to the face and then everything comes back from beyond the gate.

I see that Lexa is the one on top of me.

"Lexa?"

She seems very concerned for me. I can see the worry lines on her face. I reach my hand out and slowly rub my thumb between her eyebrows. It leaves a red streak on her face.

I slowly look at my hand and realize that it is covered in blood.

"Lexa?" I question again. This time softer.

"What is your name?"

"Kara."

"What are you, Kara?"

"My Heda's warrior."

"What did you do wrong Kara?"

I blink back the tears as I realize what I did.

"I let my emotions get in the way and left you vulnerable. Lexa…Shit." I close my eyes and lay my back down on the ground.

I open my eyes again when I feel her lay her forehead on mine. "Remember to own your mistakes Kara. One day this will no longer happen. I promise."

She quickly looks around and must not find what she is looking for when she suddenly rushes forward and kisses me. It isn't soft this time but more violent. I nip at her bottom lip slightly before she leans back away from me.

I notice that she has blood on her lips and go to wipe it off before I realize that that will just make the situation worse. I slowly lower it back to the ground.

"Sorry," I whisper out.

She just reaches out and cups my cheek before lightly slapping me. "Don't apologize."

She gets off of me and then wipes her face with part of the head cover she is wearing. I let her know when all the blood was off.

"Am I in trouble?" I can't help the anxiety I feel. I ring my hands a little.

"No, but we will need to discuss at a later date what just happened. You can't just kill everyone that offends me, Kara."

"Yes, I can," I reply back quickly.

She smiles a little at that. "Well, I know to never allow you meet the ambassadors of the other clans. That meeting will only end in ruin."

She starts to walk down the mountain towards the village again with me following slightly behind her after I grab my dagger and swords. I see Lincoln and Clarke waiting up ahead.

Clarke doesn't say anything when we pass but she gives me dark look. She goes to join Lexa and Lincoln in front of us when I grab her arm and stop her.

She rips her hand out of my grasp. "What?" she hisses at me.

"I am sorry that you saw that. Maybe I should have let you handle the sniper, but I just knew that I was already messed up and that you killing them would not make you feel any better and I wanted to save you from the burden of another soul on your conscience."

Clarke doesn't say anything for a while. I turn my head and see that Lexa and Lincoln are waiting far enough away so they can't hear what we are saying.

Clarke's eyes start to tear up and I slowly move my arms forward to wrap her in a hug, but she just shakes her head. "I don't want the bastard's blood on me, sorry Kara. We need to find a place for you clean off before we return to the village as well."

She starts to walk away before stopping. "You aren't a terrible person Kara. You may do bad things, but you avenged some of our people in the mountain and those that were lost in the village and you avenged Indra. I know how much she means to you."

She walked away again and I just stood there staring at her. I felt tears well in my eyes. I tried to blink them away but could feel some escape and fall down my face. I lift my hands up and try to wipe it away but just make myself look worse.

I rip the head wrap off and try to get as much blood off as possible and when I am finished I know I still look pretty bad. I look up and see that everyone is still waiting for me. I quickly run to make it the group. I don't say anything as I jog past them but I hear them hurry to catch up.

I stayed next to Lexa the rest of the night even when everyone started to move out. I was locked too deep in my mind to do much else.

I knew that Clarke must have told her mom what happened because when I was leaving the camp next to Lexa we passed her, and she looked me right in the eyes before giving me a look of disgust. I felt dirty after that.

I thanked God for the rain because I felt it start to wash off the last of the blood still on my skin and thankfully it wasn't that noticeable on my black clothing. I knew everything was about to go to shit. I could feel it. Whether it was the upcoming battle or what I didn't know but I did not think I was going to like it. It made my skin crawl. I was starting to feel like something was trying to break free from my mind and I was doing my best to ignore it. All I knew was that I would protect those close to me and if something happened to Lexa or Clarke then nothing would stand in my way and I would leave death and tragedy in my wake.

* * *

Revised. 12/12/17


	9. Bodyguard of Lies

So this chapter will have one of my favorite episodes in it. It will be difficult to write only because I love the interactions between Clarke and Lexa in it. Ugh. Whatever. Thanks for reading this far into the story. Also thank you to the person who wrote the second comment. Can't tell your name. Can only see that you are a guest. Also this chapter you will learn what happened to Kara's parents. It gets kind of weird. Will have different POV's offered in the chapter.

 **Words in bold are the voices in her head.**

Once again I own nothing.

* * *

Chapter Eight

Everything had finally calmed down. We were finally back at the main camp in the woods and now we are waiting for the signal to begin the invasion.

I was sitting by a fire next to Octavia who kept giving me weird looks and it was starting to grate on my nerves. It made me twitchy and I didn't work well with that. I was already having a problem sleeping. I was having nightmares about the black shadow with red eyes again who was chasing me and would always catch me as I soon as I woke so I am already on edge and her looking at me like that wasn't helping.

Then to top it off for the last two days I have been getting this massive splitting headache as though something important is missing and I was trying to remember what it was. It was just out of reach. It made me pissed off.

That was the other reason that I wasn't with Clarke or Lexa right now. I needed to escape Clarke's constant doubts about the plan. I could even tell Lexa was losing patience with her.

Octavia gave me another weird look and right as I felt the twitch in my eye and opened my mouth to say something nasty Clarke joined us at the fire. It caused me to take a deep breath instead. I was able to hold off on the need to strangle something.

If Clarke left maybe Lexa would keep me company. I couldn't stop the slight smile on my face and lost myself in my thoughts. I love anytime I spent with her. She helped keep me calm and I didn't feel the need to become violent. I joined back in when I realized Clarke was talking.

"Are you ok?" She was looking at Octavia who had a dark look on her face. I narrowed my eyes in her direction while digging my nails into my hand.

"I have been going over it and over it in my head trying to figure out how…you're both still alive." She finally said.

I almost growled in her direction and bared my teeth slightly at her, feeling threatened with that one single statement. Thousands of different thoughts raced through my head trying to think about how to get out of this and a few of them were on thoughts on how to make her disappear.

Clarke kind of looked around uncertain. Oh, I swear I am gonna hit her. She couldn't have been more obvious. Well about as obvious as me. Shit.

"What are you talking about?"

"I saw you both in TonDC before the missile hit. I know you, Clarke, something was wrong. And then you both along with Lexa disappear and just happen to survive." She quickly looks between the two of us. I still had my teeth bared at the questions while Clarke just looks down.

"Tell me you didn't know about the missile," Octavia said almost begging.

Shit. Well isn't this just fucking fantastic. This is exactly what I needed right now. This was too similar to something that's happened before the threat of being told on, I tried to force the memory to the surface when I felt my breathing hitch and then myself be pulled into a memory I barely remembered from when I was 10. The very first time I lost control of everything.

 _*Flashback*_

 _My back and sides were hurting. I could hear mom screaming to me how she ruined her career and if my father wasn't promoted we would be living in squalor, how we barely have enough to live as it is, how because I was born her marriage with my father was close to collapse, each thing she said was emphasized with a kick. I could feel the tears running down my face. I curled myself further into a ball trying to ignore how my ribs felt like they were on fire, trying to focus on how my friends were telling me that everything would be ok if I stayed strong. I didn't know how much longer I could be strong for._

 _I looked around when I didn't hear her yelling anymore and saw that she left the room. I quickly got up and gingerly crept into my room. I barely had the door open when something exploded next to my head. I felt glass hit me on the side of the face and neck. The vision in my left eye burned and all I could see was red filling it. Some of the voices letting me know that my eye was fine, it was just filled with blood._

 _The rest of the voices in my head were shouting at me to kill her, too bathe in her blood, if they hadn't been weak they wouldn't be dead, and I was being weak. I had always had them, I could even remember them as a small child. They used to whisper things on what I needed to learn or would tell me stories but the older I became the more violent the stories would become. The more they would try to tell me how to survive, that killing was necessary. They were my only friends, I didn't fit in with the other kids. I tried to be friends with Clarke and Wells but they weren't as fun to talk to as the voices were, though the voices couldn't play._

 _I was trying to block them out, but the pain was making it hard to concentrate on even that smallest thing. I ripped my door open all the way and threw myself under my bed. I reached blindly for the pocket knife dad had given me a couple years ago as a birthday present that I kept hidden there. He saved up months of his wage to buy me the perfect one._

 _It was covered in a wave-like pattern with a silver grip and when the knife was flipped open the blade was as black as the space outside the Ark._

 _I had just grabbed it when I felt someone grab my ankle roughly and ripped me out from under the bed. I kept my grip tight on the knife. I kicked my small foot out and hit something hard. I hear my mom give a grunt of pain._

" _YOU BITCH!" she roared at me and then let go of my leg to deliver a harsh kick to my side. I felt something crack from how brutal the kick was._

 _She reached down and lifted me up by my hair. I kept my arms limp at my side, listening to the voices screaming at me to keep still for now. She reached back to slap me when I heard all the voices scream **"NOW!"**_

 _I quickly flipped the blade out and stabbed her in the throat. I watched as she dropped me and couldn't stop staring at the blood. I heard a gurgling sound and I started to laugh._

 _My mom fell to her knees, looking in horror at me. I slashed her across the throat and watched her fall to the floor. Her eyes were lifeless. I couldn't stop staring. I just sat down next to her and slowly reached my hand forward and touched the blood on the floor and was fascinated how I could barely tell the difference between the blood and my mother's hair. The same color as mine._

 _I lifted my hand covered in blood and rubbed all over my throat. "Now you can't hurt me anymore."_

 _Then my fascination turned to terror when I heard the front door of our 'house' open. I heard the heavy steps of my dad walk closer to my door only to slow slightly when I guess he saw the glass on the floor._

" _Kara? Selena?" He worriedly called out._

 _I looked up and saw my father in the doorway, with absolute horror on his face._

" _What happened Kara?" he asked after heavily swallowing, slowly walking closer to me._

 _I looked back down at mom and tightened the grip I had to on the knife._

" _She was hurting me."_

 _He finally looked closely, and I could tell he could see how my face was bleeding steadily from the glass and that I already had bruises forming. He took a step forward before stopping. He looked down once again._

" _Kara, I can't save you from this, if I tried I'd be floated."_

 _He was my father he was supposed to protect me, but I stopped trusting him when he first learned that mom was hurting me. I know he talked to her about cutting back on the drinking and to not do it when I was around but he never really did anything directly to stop it. I lost my idol that day._

 _I just shakily nodded my head at him but on the inside, I felt ice cold. I was too young to die. I was afraid of it. I wanted to live and to do that no one could know what I had done. The voices in my head screaming at me to do something that I wasn't supposed to die yet for I was destined for something great._

 _My dad slowly reached forward to me as if scared I would run away. I waited till he was about to stand me up when my arm shot forward and stabbed him deeply in the shoulder. He roared in pain and when he leaned back I was able to keep my knife in hand. I jumped forward to stab him again but he blocked it and only got cut across his arm._

 _He grunted in pain again and then hit me in the face. The force throwing my body a bit away. I landed on the knife but thankfully only cut my side a little. I didn't move, trusting the voices when they told me to play dead. I kept perfectly still and even took very shallow breaths._

 _I could hear him slowly walk closer to me. "Kara?" he asked nervously._

 _I felt him touch me on the shoulder and then the red took over._

 _I screamed and stabbed him in the throat. Feeling a bloodthirsty smile come over my face. I kept stabbing and stabbing and stabbing. No one was allowed to touch me now. No one. The next person to touch me would pay. No one was trustworthy and would only hurt me in the end. I would protect myself._

 _Maybe one day it will be different but I knew it wouldn't. I quickly stood up and made my way to the entrance of the house. I left and started running down different halls with the knife still firmly in my hand. I was trying to find a place to hide. I wasn't thinking rationally and didn't realize that I was in fact covered head to toe in red. I was even leaving footprints behind me. I started running feeling like something was following me. I kept running till I tripped and fell and hit my head really hard on the metal floor, the blow causing all the voices to become quiet._

 _Everything went blurry and I could feel blackness creeping on the edge of my vision as it got worse, the last thing I saw was someone standing over me covered head to toe in black with glowing red eyes. I heard it speak something sounding like May we meet again before I was sucked into the void._

 _*FLASHBACK END*_

I came back to the present with a greedy breath of air. I stood up and starting walking to the Lexa's tent. I could feel my whole body shaking. I didn't remember anything after my mom hit the door with the bottle. Everything past that was new. The memories felt like they were in a loop.

My legs felt weak and I felt like they were about to give out. I felt faint. All I could see in front of me was that everything was covered in red and out of the corner of my eye I was seeing something tall in blak with red eyes but anytime I turned to look he would disappear. It felt like I was trapped in the memory again. I saw something green but didn't stop moving. I heard voices and then someone touched me.

I screamed. It was high pitched and sounded like someone was killing me. I twisted in their grip and tried to hit them. I could hear people yelling but everything around me was twisting and turning. I felt like I was about to throw up. Someone was screaming stop it and I could hear sobs.

Then I felt a pinch and everything started to fade away, the memory, my body, and my vision. The last thing I saw was green eyes filled with something almost like tears. Not enough to flow over but enough to see. Then I felt myself fade.

You are finally ready for us to return was the last thing I heard. The voice was deep and comforting.

* * *

 _*POV Change*_

I had just exited the tent and I could see that Octavia and Clarke were talking. When I heard her tell Octavia she couldn't tell anyone she knew. I felt myself stiffen and knew what they were discussing. I relaxed my face and knew that she had to be eliminated because now she was a threat and I did not trust her enough to keep this secret. I almost hesitated when I remembered that Kara is very close to her but I knew the alliance was more important.

"Commander," Octavia bowed her head to me.

"Octavia," I replied back.

Ryder already knew what to do.

"It is time for the southernmost guard post rotation. You should relieve them." He told her.

She looked confused. "Indra expects we to be on the scouting mission with Lincoln."

"And now you are needed at the guard post. Indra will join you there shortly."

Octavia glanced at me and looked suspicious. I just nodded my head. Octavia quickly walked away to go to the post, I watched her as she left.

I heard Clarke walk up to me. "She won't say anything."

"You can't be sure of that. Too many people know Clarke."

"You worry about your people and I will worry about mine."

I just nodded my head and then looked around. "Clarke, where is Kara? She was supposed to be with you or Octavia."

I finally looked at Clarke closely.

"She is still sitting at the fire." With that Clarke turned and pointed.

I felt myself stiffen when I saw her. Something was wrong and I felt my heart start to race. I felt worry prick at my back. Her face seemed haunted and she was staring at nothing.

"Clarke something is wrong."

Clarke turned and looked and saw what I was seeing. She narrowed her eyes as well.

Suddenly, Kara shot up and started the breathe heavily, like she could not get a full breath of air. I watched as her whole face paled. She wasn't seeing anything as she slowly started to walk towards us.

Her whole body was shaking and it looked like her legs were going to give out. I quickly walked towards her calling her name she didn't respond or even acknowledge that I had called her name but her eyes trained on me. I felt worry start to spread through my whole body.

"Kara?" I asked again and then gently touched her. She screamed and it sounded like someone was killing her. I went to jump back when she twisted and tried to punch me. Then I knew whatever this was, was bad. Something had happened and it made me sick to my stomach to see her like this.

"Kara!" I screamed her. She started to back away not really seeing anything around her. She was still screaming when she tripped and fell down. She started to cry screaming at something to stop. I quickly ran forward to try and get her when someone grabbed me. It was Clarke.

"What's happening?!" I shout at her. Clarke looked equally as confused as me.

"I don't know but I have something to knock her out. I was worried after what happened with the sniper and figured it would be a good idea to have it handy."

Clarke reached into her jacket and pulled out a needle and syringe.

"Grab her," she told me.

I raced forward and grabbed onto Kara twisting our bodies to where her back was to my chest with my arms wrapped around her chest keeping her arms locked to her side. She was still sobbing and screaming at someone to stop and trying to escape from my grip. Clarke quickly stuck the needle in her neck. Kara started to slowly stop her struggles and then went still. Her head fell back and then glassy blue met green eyes and then she closed her eyes.

My heart was pounding. I haven't felt that scared in years. Not since I had heard about the attack and capture of Costia. I could even feel tears build slightly in my eyes.

Get a hold of yourself! You are the commander.

I finally looked away from Kara and saw that many of my men were looking at us.

"GO BACK TO YOUR DUTIES!" I shout. I felt anger rip through my system. They didn't need to see this. They did not deserve or have the privilege to see Kara at her weakest.

I slipped out from behind Kara and laid her down gently. I quickly stood up and looked at Ryder.

" _Take her to my tent. Now! Then you will kill the other girl."_ I order him.

He gives a nod and then reaches down and picks Kara up and takes her to my tent. I quickly look to my right and find Clarke still standing there.

"Clarke follow me." I walk into my tent just as Ryder is leaving. He holds it open for the both of us before leaving.

When the tent is closed I turn on Clarke. "Tell me what just happened," I order her.

She just shook her head before looking at Kara. "I don't know Lexa. I heard that she has had fits before but nothing like that. It was almost like she wasn't even there. I mean we have seen something similar to that before but never that. I can ask my mother if Kara has ever done something like that before but I don't think she has. She can tell us when she wakes later."

"Leave now," I tell her. She just nods her head and leaves the tent.

I look up trying to calm myself. I feel like my emotions are all over the place. I feel like a child again. I hate this feeling. It is making me feel weak.

I take measured steps till I am standing next to Kara. I reach out my hand and gently brush some hair off her face. The braids I had done for her this morning are ruined. I gently lift her head up and sit down and place her head on my lap. Her face is still damp with tears and I slowly wipe them away before placing a kiss on her head.

I start to gently undo the braids. She loves anytime someone plays with her hair. It is almost like watching someone fall asleep, her face would soften and lose the hard lines she seems to have all the time.

When I finish I start to just lightly run my fingers through it. Watching as what appears to be a sea of blood run over my fingers. I lean forward and gently place a kiss on her face.

"Oh my little warrior, look what you have done to me. I am supposed to be strong but you are making me weak but I can't seem to stop myself from not caring."

For the rest of the night, I continue to run my hands through her hair, enjoying how the longer I do this the softer her hair becomes. Keeping a sharp eye on the door, guarding her against danger. I finally fell asleep when the fires in my tent burned out.

* * *

A couple hours later I woke up, looking around to see what had awoken me but found nothing. I felt tired but didn't care. I looked down and though Kara was still asleep, it didn't seem as restful as it did earlier. Her face was scrunched up in fear. I ran my hand through her hair for a couple of minutes and watched her face soften. I felt the sides of my lips twitch up in a smile. I kissed her forehead once more and then gently moved her head from my lap and started getting ready for the day. I had a feeling today would be the day.

I looked back at Kara and worried that she wouldn't be in the right state of mind if we did go to war today.

Clarke comes charging into my tent with Ryder as I finish up my war paint.

She kicked out Ryder's leg forcing him to his knees. "You sent him to kill Octavia? I told you she is not a problem."

"Leave us," I order coldly to Ryder.

He quickly stands but before he can leave Clarke is holding the gun to his chest. "No, I am not letting him out of my sight."

I stand from my throne. "Stand down for now and wait for my command."

He gives a quick nod and then leaves the room.

I walk to the back of the tent grabbing a rag as I go and wipe off my hands. I grab my gauntlets and start to slowly put one on.

"You can't just kill everyone you don't trust."

"Yes, I can," I have a flashback to a similar conversation with Kara but in reverse. I almost let out a chuckle but control it.

"Well, I won't let you."

"You were willing to let her die two days ago. Nothing has changed," I can't help but say.

"You're wrong. I have. I can't do this anymore," she shakes her head at me.

"Octavia is a threat. If you weren't so close to her you would see that." I walk back to the middle of the room and face her.

"It's because I am close to her that I know she is loyal. Her brother is more important to her than anyone. She would never endanger his life," She tells me fiercely.

"And you are willing to risk everything on that?" I can't help but ask.

"And your feelings?" I continue.

"Yes. You say feelings make me weak but you are weak for hiding from them. I might be a hypocrite Lexa but you are a liar. You felt something for Gustus. You are still haunted by Costia. You want everyone to think you are above it all but I see right through you. Even now I can see how much you care for Kara and how much you would do for her." At this point, she has backed me into a table. I hear something from my left but I put it out of my mind.

"Get out," I hiss at her.

"250 people died in that village, I know you felt for them. But you let them burn," She all but whispers the last part.

"Not everyone, not Kara and not you," and with that, I look to where my bed is. Clarke follows my line of sight but doesn't say anything about it.

She looks back to me. "Trust me, Octavia is not a threat," she almost pleads.

"I can't do that," I tell her back.

"I can't let any more of my people get hurt. If you hurt Octavia, I will tell everyone that we knew about the missile," Then I hear something fall over and I look around behind me first but do not see anything. The tarp separating my bed from the main area keeping me from seeing what could be causing the noise. I feel a brief flash of fear that Kara is having a nightmare but she has never mentioned having any before.

I then hear something make a thumping noise and feel the impact near my feet. I quickly look down and see Kara's dagger. We both jump back and look up.

I look up and see Kara. She is partially hunched over and is using something to hold herself up. I look at her eyes and for some reason, all the white in both of her eyes is blood red. Making the blue in them seem to almost stand out, burning bright, but as each second passed the blue seemed to slowly begin disappearing.

"GET OUT!" She roars. Her eyes still have the glazed look to them and I can see the drug is still heavily affecting her. I then look down to her left hand and see her clutching her sword I had left next to the bed and is using that to hold herself up. She takes a stumbling step forward before hitting the ground.

She doesn't move after she fell. I start to take steps closer to her to check on her, but Clarke grabs my arm.

"Wait," she tells me.

I wait a couple seconds but after not seeing any movement. I turn back to Clarke and tell her to get out once more, this time the venom in my voice very evident and promises pain if she does not follow the command. When she leaves I rush over to Kara.

I flip her over and her eyes are still glazed over. I put her head in my lap and start to run my hands through her hair.

"Kara, why don't you go back to sleep. You need to sleep, you should not have gotten out of bed little warrior."

She doesn't respond but slowly lifts her hand up and rests her palm against my cheek. Her hand feels hot. I lean on the hand and try not think about her having such a high fever.

"You are so beautiful. The green has never been so beautiful." I feel myself blush at that.

She slowly puts her hand back to the floor. Her eyes stay locked on mine.

"There was so much red. So so much. He was gonna tell. Wasn't going to protect."

I put my hand on her forehead feeling the heat and sweat on her skin.

"He was gonna tell what Kara?" I gently ask.

"He was gonna tell them that I killed her. The voices told me it would save me but he was going to tell. I didn't want to die."

I felt my heart stop when she mentioned voices. For the night bloods it meant we were chosen to become the Heda after winning the Conclave but for others, it could mean brain sickness.

"Who are these voices, my warrior," I ask.

Then her eyes become clear and the last of the blue disappeared and the red began to burn brighter. "The dead," she whispers and then she closes her eyes and falls asleep once more.

She had said the dead. There have only been a few who could hear the dead. Was she who I thought she was? Was she like me? I would have to wait to discuss this with Titus. I know he would know about this.

I didn't know that she even heard voices to begin with and we have had discussions about what she was dealing with and how she was feeling. I knew how when the rage took over that everything felt like it was locked behind a gate. Her memories would fade some and she would enter the mindset for herself where all she knew was fighting but never voices. I didn't think she would lie about that.

I started to play with her hair and tried to think about everything she has ever told me and before I knew it I had braided her hair almost as elaborately as mine. Well at least I won't have to worry about this later.

I was now very concerned about her and knew that if I killed her friend now that it might break her completely and I couldn't risk that. I just got her and I wasn't ready to release her just yet. I had a very serious choice to make.

* * *

 _*POV Change*_

 **Wake up. You need to wake up. Fight it young one.**

I remember the voices now. I remember how they used to be the only friends I had. I used to be scared of them because of the scary stories they used to tell but now? Now I realized they were stories on how to fight and win in battles.

I opened my eyes but everything was fuzzy. I groaned. I then heard something hit the table. I looked around and realized I was in Lexa's tent.

The time before I was given the drug to calm down came rushing back. I remember how much I wanted to live. How I let something take over slightly to get myself moving and protect me. How my eyes had burned and then I remember all the blood.

I hear Lexa tell someone to get out and worry spikes through my body as well the need to protect her.

I lift myself up and look to see where my things are. I can tell I am just wearing my pants and shirt from the day before and can feel my hair all over the place. I grab the table next to the bed to help me stand up and hear something move. I look and see my dagger. I quickly grab it and force myself standing. I take a step and almost fall over. I start using the bed to help me walk.

At the end of the bed, I see my swords. I grab one and let the scabbard fall to the floor. It makes a loud noise as it crashes to the floor but I don't care. Something is wrong with Lexa. I can hear it in her voice and it becomes all I can think about.

I enter the main area of the tent and see Clarke has Lexa pushed against the table almost threatening her. I feel like a wave crash over me and my eyes burn once more.

 **PROTECT!**

One of the voices scream.

I reach my hand back and quickly throw the dagger at her feet. They both look down and then look back up to see me standing there.

"GET OUT!" I roar at her. I try to take another step forward and fall down. I don't have the energy to get back up. I feel myself fall into the sea of calm once more not knowing that I was still slightly awake enough to talk to Lexa.

* * *

I wake up a couple hours later feeling better than normal. The voices were quiet and for that I was thankful. I didn't know exactly how to feel about them and why I would actively block them out for so long. It helped explain a lot of things about when I was younger and why I never actively made friends. I thought it was because I didn't want to be friends but now I knew it was because the voices were my friends.

 **Glad you are finally awake and that you used to think so highly of us.**

I stopped and stared at the ceiling. 'Why did I stop hearing you?'

 **You weren't ready for everything that was needed and after what happened with your parents and hitting your head it was decided that you were too young. The drugs once out of your system weren't enough for us to return. You needed to remember what was forgotten. What was lost.**

What was lost?

 **Yes, what was lost. You will figure out in time young one.**

Well, that wasn't super cryptic at all.

I quickly rolled off the bed that I was placed back in and started to strap everything back onto my body. I strapped my swords to my back and then my dagger to my leg like I did every morning for the past month.

I felt strong. I felt everything moving around me. Then I heard a voice. It sounded like Clarke and then I remembered that I was in Lexa's tent and I had woken up and thrown a dagger at Clarke. Well shit.

"Yes, Octavia has nothing to fear from me. I do trust you, Clarke."

The fuck was she talking about Octavia for.

I hear someone shift their weight. "I know how hard that is for you."

No one says anything for a couple seconds, but I do hear movement once more.

"You think our ways are harsh but it's how we survive." I heard Lexa tell her.

"Well, maybe life should be more about surviving," Clarke replies.

I finally walk into the main part of the tent seeing Clarke and Lexa standing a couple feet away from each other.

Clarke eyes me suspiciously, while Lexa, on the other hand, starts to look deep into my eyes looking for something. She must find what she is looking for because she gives me a soft smile that Clarke can't see.

"Lexa I need the war paint." She just looks confused before nodding her head and handed me the jar that was laying on the table.

I quickly dipped I dipped four of my fingers in the paint and then slid my hand diagonally across my face before wiping my hand off on my pants.

Clarke was looking at me like I was going to snap at any moment. "Clarke stop giving me that look I will be fine. I know you are worried after yesterday but really, I am fine now. I promised to protect you and we will need it this day."

"What do you mean?" Clarke was quick to ask.

"We make our stamp in history today Clarke."

She just nods her head but I can see all the confusion on her face. "Clarke, can you wait outside?" Lexa asks.

Clarke looks back and forth between us and then just nods her head. "Fine, I'll be outside if you need me."

Lexa just stares at me after Clarke leaves the tent and then slowly begins to stalk around me. I stand tall under her inspection. I don't waver. A shiver passes down my spine when she runs her hand across my back. The hand travels across my shoulder then to my neck where she finally stops in front of me before dragging me in for a kiss.

It wasn't like the last. This one is slow and deliberate, showing each of us the others feelings without actually saying them. I start to break away only to slowly start to kiss along her jawline, keeping the kisses soft before traveling down her neck before I move her armor slightly to the side and bite down hard. I hear her hiss in pain, but she doesn't do anything else. I back away after but keep my eyes on her.

"I am yours and you are mine Leksa kom Trikru. Know this and remember it. If we do not see each other after this day remember that you will live on with me and if I shall perish then my spirit will watch over and protect you till you pass to meet me. I don't care about Heda's spirit for I shall follow you in the sweet embrace of death."

She just narrows her eyes at me. "I am yours and you are mine Kara kom Skaikru." I don't let her continue and pull her into a burning kiss, taking what I want.

We both break away from each other when the men outside start to shout. I feel my eyes start to burn.

I was quick to follow Lexa out of the tent. I looked at the sky and saw the red flare. Appropriate color.

 **Be ready child.**

I heard Lexa tell the men to blow to horns.

" _To war!"_ Lexa shouted to all the men below.

I couldn't wait. I felt my blood pumping. I didn't stop the bloodthirsty smirk on my face.

I couldn't stop my roar as I threw my arms in the air. I knew I must look crazy. I couldn't stop myself. I could almost taste the energy in the air.

The army marched on. My grin never left my face. I had to keep a tight hold on myself not to laugh. I felt too excited, almost giddy.

I could the warriors behind me start to scream and give their war cries. I turned to look at Lexa.

"So much death is coming Lexa, I can feel it."

"How do you know?"

"I can feel it. It is soaking into the very earth calling to everyone. The dead are gone and the living are hungry. For what comes next will be the thing written in legends and stories for years to come Heda."

She doesn't say anything but she looks thoughtful.

"Lexa," I call her name.

She looks at me. I feel the excitement drain away replaced by a feeling of calm.

"I need you to remember my promise and remember that everything happens for a reason, Lexa."

She doesn't say anything to me after that and continues to march forward.

I just shake my head. "I am also staying with Clarke once the battle starts. You can protect yourself, but she cannot. If she loses her gun she will be in great danger," and with that, I was done talking.

Lexa looks around at everyone before looking at me once more. She conveys everything I need to know in her eyes. "I will remember Kara of the sky people. Remember to not let your emotions blind you and put you in danger."

I bow my head and keep walking. Glad the acid fog is down. I really was not in the mood to be fried.

* * *

Essentially, they just agreed to go out as a couple. I made it a little cuter so Kara said that instead and made into a promise.

I honestly was so confused because they marched with the army but then at the start of the next episode was back at the camp in her command tent. So did they like walk all the way there and then walk back once they deemed the fog no longer a threat?

* * *

Revised 12/13/17


	10. Blood must have Blood

I am so close to season 3. That one I am excited about because seriously I hate Titas so much and a few other people that pop up. So like yes! Also, I like the idea of how the Commander's spirit is actually a spirit and not just the thoughts and ideas that were saved inside the Becca? Chip, ALIE 2.0, or the Flame whatever the hell you want to call the thing. So those that win the conclave will have the commander's spirit live on inside of them and have the past Heda's speak to them. Kind of like you have to prove yourself worthy of the spirits in your fight at the Conclave and then the spirits look at the soul of the person who won and judge them to see if they are worthy.

When I say that her eyes start to burn it means that the white goes away and is replaced by red. Remember in the second chapter I made reference to her mother calling her a demon? This is why. Whenever the adrenaline in her body starts to become too high her eyes shift or if she becomes really angry. This didn't start happening again until the last chapter after she remembers fully what happened when her parents died. She repressed the memory because in all honesty what 10-year-old wouldn't.

Also, I have run out of good fanfiction because I have a problem so that is why all time now has been rewatching The 100 and writing this.

I don't own anything.

* * *

Chapter Nine

After confirming that the acid fog was down we all returned to camp. I made sure to keep next to Clarke at all times. I could tell that she didn't really appreciate me essentially hovering over her but I didn't care. I made a promise and I keep a promise until it kills me.

"Welcome Skaikru. Join us." Lexa instructed the people arriving from Camp Jaha. Oh, thank god they were finally here. I am so damn bored.

 **We need to work on your patience**

I jumped a little and Lexa just looked over at me with slight concern. I just shook my head to let her know I was fine.

'Seriously? Can you give me a warning before you do that?'

 **I can't very well give you a warning. Learn to deal with it. We have to handle things we don't like all the time.**

'Well aren't you just in a chipper mood today.'

 **There is a time to be serious and I time to joke around. This is a time for you to pay attention and not a time for your sarcasm.**

'I get it ok. I will work on it.'

So apparently, I missed like half the meeting. Well isn't that great?

Well, I am glad that Indra's team is using the tunnels. Thank god Raven made the tone generators.

"Once all our people are free they will sound the retreat. We'll be back home before Mount Whether even knows their gone. And that's it. That's the plan." Look at Clarke go. Thank god, she is in charge. I have moments, but I am definitely more of a follower/boss ass enforcer.

Oh my god, Lexa put her boss ass bitch face on. How the hell did I get so lucky? I felt enthralled by her. Pulled in by the confidence she oozed from every pore of her body.

"The mountain has cast a shadow over these lands for too long. They have hunted us, controlled us, turned us into monsters. That ends today. Thanks to our alliance from the sky people, the mountain will fall."

"As Clarke said we spare the innocent, as for the guilty? _Jus drein jus daun"_

Every grounder started to chant those words. I felt my heart begin to race and my eyes begin to burn. I joined the chanting. I wanted to bathe in their blood for what they have done and I will. I will kill all of them.

* * *

I continued to stay next to Clarke after the meeting, not letting her get too far out of my line of sight. I kept my eyes on the mountain. Never straying too far. I found the that the little bottle of red liquid could blow the door just fascinating.

"It's taking to long," Clarke told us.

"It takes as long as it takes," Lexa told Clarke.

"Patience is a virtue." I felt like joining in. Not doing anything was driving me crazy.

"Really Kara?" Clarke gave a sidelong glance.

"What I thought it was quite appropriate." I cheekily replied. Clarke just rolls her eyes at me.

Lexa looks to us, ignoring the small verbal spat. "What will you do when it's over?"

"I have no idea," Clarke honestly replies.

"I go where Clarke goes, till she learns how to survive without a gun," I give her a pointed look.

Lexa rolls her eyes at me. "Well, Clarke, what do you want?"

Clarke looks around at this question and seems to consider it. "Nothing."

"My people back. That would be good."

"You should come with me to the Capitol." Lexa looks straight at me when she says this before looking back to Clarke. "Polis will change the way you think about us."

"You already have," Clarke replies.

"Too true Clarke, to true," I reply in turn.

Right as we turn back to the mountain, shots ring out. My blood starts to heat. I feel my eyes begin to burn and my bloodthirsty smirk came out. I turn to Lexa. "It has begun. Remember our promise."

She turns and looks at me and seems almost nervous when she looks into my eyes but still nods her head at me.

"It's coming from the damn," Lincoln says as he makes his way to us.

"They know we are going for the power," Clarke said.

"They know we are going for the door," Lexa said.

"Raven will get it done. She is one of us," I looked over and realized this girl only a couple years younger than me was there. Has she been here the whole time?

I just kept staring at her. Seriously. Where the hell did she come from?

"Can I help you?" the girl asks.

I just shake my head and realize I was being weird again. "Sorry."

* * *

"Remember to press the red button when the lights go off," One of the guards from the ark said.

The lights on the door finally shut down.

"She did it," Clarke muttered.

"One minute starting now."

Clarke turned to Lexa. I felt the swell of pride in my chest. The plan was working.

She holds the remote out. "For those, we have lost," Clarke says.

Lexa grasps onto the remote with Clarke. "For those who we will soon find"

Well, that was cute.

They both pressed the button and nothing happened. The mountain was jamming the signal.

A shield wall was formed with the security guard in the middle holding the button. Trying to get closer. They were barely halfway to the door when they were all gunned down by the mountain men on the ridge.

I felt my panic start to spread. I could feel my teeth begin to crack from how hard I was clenching my jaw.

Lincoln has an amazing shot and manages to hit the small bomb that Raven made when there were only a couple seconds left. I am totally trash at using the bow and am the same way with a gun but give me a sword and I will gut you like a pig.

"We need to get to that ridge and take out the shooters," Lexa said.

Lincoln goes to leave with the others but Lexa grabs him. "No you stay with Clarke when the shooting stops you get that door open," she commands him.

Clarke and he nod their head in understanding. I keep my eyes on Lexa. She locks eyes with and for a brief second, they soften before becoming harder than steel. Then Lexa is gone and I feel all the calm disappear with her. I feel my bloodlust skyrocket. My nails dig into my palms almost drawing blood. I take deep breathes to keep myself under control. I know Lexa would be pissed if I went and got myself killed. She better come back safe or there will be hell to pay.

* * *

God this stupid fucking mountain.

 **When this is over patience will be tested and worked on because you are at a point where you are about to lose control and Lexa barely walked away 20 minutes ago.**

'Shut up!' I roar in my head. I didn't hear the voice after that.

I look up and realize that they are finally opening the door. Finally!

"Train your fire on the door!" Clarke orders.

The door slowly opens.

"Attack!" Clarke orders, well she tries to before a familiar voice cut through the battle cries of the warriors around us.

I hear Lexa give the stand down orders and it feels like I can finally take a full breath but I can tell something is wrong, her voice isn't right. When she finally gets to her us, her face doesn't soften, the blood and war paint make her more intimidating than I have ever seen her. Her eyes look tortured and when I look behind her I see a mountain man with his hands tied who has a smug look plastered on his face. I feel my hand give a slight twitch toward my dagger.

"What is this?" Clarke asks.

I want to deck the mountain man. He has a fricking smirk just plastered on his face. It makes me want to beat it off.

I bare my teeth at the man and let out a slight growl. He doesn't lose the smirk though. Lexa gives a look to calm down before turning to the open door. Grounders are being let out. I feel my breath catch when I see how bad they look.

This is the secret army? This army couldn't fight its way out of a paper bag. They all look incredibly injured and weak. Almost every single one of them is hanging off another.

"They're surrendering?" Clarke asks.

"Not quite," Mountain douche answers. I feel my hate increase and the need for him to drown in his own blood increases. He slowly looks to Lexa and then I realize she did something she isn't proud of.

"What did you do?" Clarke asks Lexa.

"What you would have done. Saved my people."

"Where are my people?"

"I'm sorry Clarke. They weren't part of the deal."

I feel my heart drop and involuntarily let out a whimper. The voices start to scream and shout in my head. Each one battling the others trying to be heard and I can feel a massive headache forming.

I look back and watch as Lexa cuts off the ropes holding the man's hands together.

"You made the right choice Commander," he smugly says and then slowly turns to walk away.

"Mountain man!" I scream. He stops and turns around and looks at me.

"I swear that I will bathe in your blood when I get inside. I will kill everyone before I let you feel the comfort of death and before you feel his cold embrace I will make you beg for it. THIS I SWEAR MOUNTAIN MAN!" I feel my eyes burn again and watch his eyes widen slightly in fear before hiding it behind confidence.

"You will never get in the mountain alive and all your little friends will never see the light of day again," with those final words he walks into through the door.

I take a step to follow the man taking my sword halfway out, but someone grabs my arm into a bruising grip and tug me back. I turn and see Clarke.

"Don't worry Kara. We will have our revenge."

I bare my teeth and rip my arm out of her grip. "Don't touch me," I growl out releasing the grip I had on my sword, trying to keep myself composed.

I hear someone walk up. "What is this," I hear Lincoln ask.

"Your Commanders made a deal," Clarke replies.

"What about the prisoners from the Ark?" he questions.

"They'll all be killed. But you don't care about that do you."

Lexa takes a heavy swallow. "I do care Clarke."

She turns and looks at me. "But I made this deal with my head and not my heart. The duty to protect my people comes first."

The burning in my eyes increase but from now having the added benefit of tears.

"Please don't do this," Clarke begs. I don't say anything but continue to stare at Lexa.

"Commander let me stay and fight," Lincoln begs as well.

"No the deal is done," Lexa tells us. I turn as I hear the door close. I feel something drip down my hands and slowly unclench my hands to wipe them on my pants.

" _Sound the retreat,"_ and watch as the man next to her blows the horn.

As much as I try not too it feels like someone just hammered the last nail into our coffin hearing the horn blast. My heart-felt like breaking into a million pieces at this betrayal.

 **Remember child. That as a leader we face choices that are never easy.**

I let out a shuddering breath and try to control the urge to deck Lexa in the face, remembering all the times she told me to stay calm and not let my emotions control me.

"You too, all our people withdraw. Those are the terms," Lexa tells Lincoln.

Obviously, he doesn't listen and fights the people trying to get him to leave before they finally hit him hard on the back of the head.

I still haven't looked away from Lexa. I can't. I know this will be the last time I see her for a very long time and I am not prepared.

"May we meet again," She tells us before walking away.

I fall to my knees and watch her start to disappear.

"LEXA!" I yell. She actually stops and turns to look at me. She looks like she is dreading what I am about to say.

"Please remember Lexa. Remember for me!" I tell her.

She nods her head, her eyes swimming in despair. "May we meet again," I tell her as she slowly disappears into the woods. I know if I ever see her again I never want to see that look in her eyes because that hurt more than her saying she was leaving.

* * *

Time passes and I don't move. I have now shifted to stare at the door in front of us. I watch as the other Arkers walk away leaving just Clarke and me.

I finally stand and turn to look at Clarke when I hear her mutter that it can't be over.

I slap her on the back hard causing her the fall forward a little. "What the hell Kara!"

"Of course it isn't over. I want my blood that I was promised and the blood of that mountain man. He will stain my knife red with his life's blood. I swore and I always keep my promises, you know this," My smile comes back full force showing all my teeth. My eyes promising pain and death.

* * *

Clarke and I continue to run through the tunnels. I follow close behind keeping her within a couple feet at any time, just close enough to pull her out of the way if something pops up.

We hear a loud beep and run quickly down the tunnel. We finally round the corner and spot Octavia.

"Octavia, you stayed," Clarke mumbles.

"Screw you of course I stayed. I know where my loyalties lie," Octavia told Clarke.

"Well someone is off her happy pills," I mutter.

She quickly turns to me and opens her mouth before she looks me in the eyes. "What?" I can't help but ask.

"Kara, what the fuck happened to your eyes?"

I narrow my eyes at her. "Nothing is wrong with them and nothing happened. Now focus. More important things to do. Important people to slaughter," I say as I walk past.

"We need to get inside," I hear Clarke say. I just roll my eyes.

"If that was possible then I wouldn't still be here," Octavia says before grabbing Clarke's arm and showing her something in the trash chute. I walk over and look inside and see some girl that sparks slight recognition.

"Clarke, why did Lexa sound the retreat?" Octavia finally asks.

"She made a deal with Mount Whether to free the grounders and now we are on our own," Clarke answers.

Clarke starts banging on the door. Octavia rips her away from the door. "Stop they will know we are here."

"What about Lincoln? There is no way he would have gone along with a plan like this."

"He didn't. They took him." Clarke then raises the gun and is about to shoot the control panel before I pull her hand down.

"What is wrong with you?" Octavia asks.

"I am getting through that door."

"Seriously Clarke you need to calm down. I am the crazy one and I am acting calmer than you which is saying something because I am one wrong move from murdering a lot of people," I finally butt in, but once again I am totally ignored.

"That's your plan? Everyone is counting on you, Bellamy is counting on you."

"Well, what do you want from me?" Clarke yells back.

 **I need some popcorn for this.**

'Really this is not the time'

"You trusted Lexa. You let a bomb Drop on TonDC. You let all those people die," Octavia screams.

"ENOUGH" I finally scream.

"Both of you will shut your god damn mouths. You aren't helping anything by yelling at each other and I am very close to losing the strenuous control I have left," I tell the two of them.

I turn to Octavia and draw my sword and hold it to her throat. "Octavia you will watch your words about Lexa around me."

"Why should I? She abandoned us. She and Clarke let all those people die."

"I was there to Octavia! I also made the same choice to get Lexa and Clarke out of the village and leave the rest there to die! Do you think that Lexa wanted those people to die? Do you think Clarke wanted those people to die? You are a second. You are an apprentice to the leader of a village. Think with your god damn head for five fucking minutes Oct before I make you lose it!" I scream in her face.

Her face goes white for a second before sadness replaces it. "I am no longer a second. Indra dropped me when I didn't leave with the rest of the Trikru."

All the fire went out of me when I heard that. "Oct I didn't know. I am so sorry but please, at least think what would have happened to your brother realistically if we evacuated the village. We can rediscuss this later but please think about it for now."

I hear a noise at the door and draw my other sword only to see Bellamy opening the door. I feel the start of tears just knowing that at least he is ok.

I stay back and don't say anything. I can still feel the slight burn of my eyes so I stay behind Clarke. Bellamy joins us after hugging Octavia.

"Where is the grounder army?"

"With your grounder army. Gone."

"Say you have a plan," Clarke almost begs.

"I don't. We need to talk to Dante, he is in quarantine."

Then Bellamy walks away. I put my swords away and watch as Clarke is then joined in a group hug with who I believe are Jasper and Monty. They both look a little shocked to see me but don't greet me in any way. Probably because I think I have maybe said two words to them in total this entire time we have been on the ground.

We all split into two teams. I stayed with Clarke, Bellamy, and Monty. I wanted to talk to the Dante. Sounded like fun. Hopefully, I didn't do something I wasn't supposed to.

* * *

We entered this guy Dantes cell? I am not sure what to call this room. I don't really care.

"Hello Clarke," Dante says.

"Clarke you didn't tell me he was old. I am gonna feel bad killing him. He has so much experience," I can't help but whine out.

He quickly looks at me. "And who are you?"

My face goes blank and I guess my eyes changed back to normal because I then feel the slight burn once more. "Names Kara. Nice to meet ya."

I stick out my hand and see that it still has my blood on it from earlier. He just looks at my hand but doesn't reach out. "Well I wouldn't say it is exactly nice to meet you but my name is Dante Emmerson."

"Well, at least you have manners. The first mountain man I met just spit in my Commanders face and we couldn't have that. Hell, the dude didn't even introduce himself when I told him my name. His screams were utterly pitiful."

Dante's face hardens and he looks slightly disturbed by what I just told him.

Clarke quickly turns to me. "Kara do not say another word. Do you understand me? Not one single word."

My head is still filled violence but I just nod my head in slight understanding.

Dante just narrows his eyes at me. "What a foul-mouthed little thing you are."

"Sir please just ignore her," Clarke asks.

"Sir we need your help again," Bellamy says.

"Don't worry we took out the video feed from the junction box in the hall. We can talk freely," Monty tells him.

"No one is watching anyway. Thanks to you they are all on level 5."

I store that information for later and I kind of just tune out because I can't talk I have decided to not listen.

 **You know you are considered an adult. So start acting like one. You need to remember the important role you play and need to focus on everything that happens around you.**

I finally tuned back in when I realized we were stopped in front of the main office.

I stayed close to Clarke again. Staying within two feet. Always close enough to move her out of the way if needed.

Monty is able to turn the feed on and the first thing I see is Raven on a table with someone drilling into her leg. I grab my sword and rip it off my back and lift it to the old man's head.

"Fix this!" I growl out to him.

"Tell them to stop. Now!" Bellamy orders them when we see that Dr. Griffin and even Kane are in the cell with the rest of the 100.

"I won't do that," Dante tells us.

I let out a vicious scream and then kick him in the stomach causing him to fall onto his back before he shifted onto his knees. My smile was blood-thirsty.

"Carl Emmerson. Get the radio to the President." I hear Clarke say.

I look up and see the mountain man on the monitor. At least now I know his name. Always polite to know the name of the man you want to kill.

"This is President Wallace."

'Seriously does every bad guy in the mountain look like a jackass?'

 **KARA FOCUS NOW!**

I brought my hands up to my ears before I could stop myself and realize that Bellamy is looking at me in concern while Dante is looking up at me like I am crazy. Though I am, so nothing new there. I just glare back at him after lowering my hands.

"I have your father."

I look down to the old man. "That's your son?" I ask.

He just nods.

"God being a piece of shit must run in the family," I mutter darkly.

"If you don't let my people go. I will kill him," Clarke says.

"I'll do it, Clarke," I quickly say but this time she just shakes her head at me. Won't lie feel totally disappointed.

"How do you know I have him?" The President asks.

Clarke hands the radio to Dante who tells his son to stay the course.

"You won't do it"

"You don't know me very well. This ends now. Release my people."

"I can't do that," the president says.

Dante joins in. "It would mean the end of our people Clarke."

Clarke lifts the gun and I slowly back away but keep my swords out just in case he tries something stupid.

"Don't do this Clarke. We need him."

"We don't need him, Bellamy," I say.

"And I need his son to believe me," Clarke then presses the walkie button once more.

"Don't make me do this Cage," she tells him.

I watch him look back to the eating area and already know that he won't free our people.

"Dad, I will take care of our people"

"None of us have a choice here Clarke."

Clarke fires the gun and Dante falls to the floor. I watch as the blood starts to spread on his chest. I shift him with my boot. "Well wasn't that anticlimactic," I say sadly.

"Listen very carefully. I will not stop until my people are free. I will eradiate level five."

Well wasn't that just nice and dark. I place my swords back on my back and just stand quietly.

"Monty can you do that?" she asks.

"Yes, I can do that." He confirms.

We watch him on the screen go to the drilling room and put Dr. Griffin on the table.

I feel fire rip through my body. I keep my body still like a tightly coiled snake ready to strike. I may not like her for what has happened but she was one of the people that Clarke cared about and I'd be damned before something happened to her.

I hear something start to kick at the door.

I take both swords out. "Clarke! I want my blood!" I roar.

Clarke looks from me to Monty. "Why are you stopping?!"

"Because its done, all we have to do is pull this lever and hatches and vents will open and the scrubbers reverse and pull in outside air," he replies.

Clarke looks up and watches the monitors and so does Bellamy. I hear him talk about how Octavia is his responsibility and how she needs to save them. The lever hasn't been pulled but she looks like she already has.

 **You know what to do Kara.**

I take a deep breath and then lift my leg and then kick her as hard as I can on the right side of her body.

She is thrown into Bellamy and they both fall to the floor a couple feet away. She looks up in shock. "Kara, what are you doing?" She yells at me, her face devastated.

I drop my swords and grab the lever. "Protecting you."

Then I pull the lever. "Kara NO!" She screams.

"Sorry I couldn't do that to both of you. I have already blackened my soul and I could not let you do that to yourself. I have been surrounded by death since I was a child," I then turn and watch all the people on the screen.

"Kara you shouldn't have done that! I am the leader it is my burden to carry," she cries to me.

"There are some things you shouldn't have to carry Clarke."

I feel everything burning in my memory. I watch Jasper run in and cradle that girl Maya. I watch as little kids scream and cry. People gasping for breath as their bodies began to burn. It feels like something is sitting on my chest constricting my heart. I then turn and watch on the screen as the man Emmerson takes off down the hall.

I bolt to the door ripping it open and tear off down the hall, ignoring how I feel like the floor feeling like it is about to give out from under me and I will be crushed by gravity, ignoring Clarke screaming my name to stop. Not caring as my find focused on the getting the blood of this man that was escaping me.

I take a left and then a right and a couple more turns before I catch him in the same hall just slightly ahead of me. I run faster and let out a war cry that rings out through the whole level. I run faster trying to catch him. He takes a few more turns before I lose him in the halls. When I finally run into a dead end and he isn't there I scream. The voices are screaming as well.

I fall to my knees and just sit there for god knows how long. The voices wanting his death and upset that I cannot deliver it.

I need Lexa. I need everything to calm. I want to go back 24 hours before everything went to shit. I want someone to be here and tell me it will be ok and that my world isn't going to end. Just one person and there is no one. I didn't realize how little I truly had before this moment and wasn't that the most depressing thought in my entire life.

I climb to my feet and shake my head trying to clear it of such dangerous thoughts but it only did so much. I don't know how long I stayed on the floor. My body feels stiff and my throat is on fire. I try to find my way back to the main office, making sure to grab my dagger from the floor before I leave.

I take a lot of lefts and rights. Never leaving this level before I finally find the office and like I thought I see my swords still laying on the floor, disappointed though that no one thought to grab them. I reach down and grab them re-sheathing them on my back.

I continue to wander the mountain. I find an elevator and take it to Level Five. I start walking around and I see everything. I can see it almost happening again in front of my eyes. I need to leave and then I run. I run out of the mountain. I follow the exits and take elevators till I leave out the main gate. I fall to my knees and start to scream once more. The voices begging for more while my mind tries to keep itself together.

I fall forward and then turn and lay on my back staring at the sky. I look up and watch the stars. I don't move for the rest of the night.

* * *

When the sun starts to rise over the mountains, I stand and up and start moving. I need to find Clarke. I need something to do and for something to keep me focused. I can't go to Lexa no matter how much I want to. I start to run down the mountain and continue to jog for miles. The land blurring together. When I reach the ridge and can see down to Camp Jaha I hear someone moving near me. I turn and slowly start to follow the sound.

I hide behind a tree and listen to the person slowly moving closer. I wait till they move slightly past me before jumping on their back sending us both to the ground. I quickly manage to get the upper hand and realize I am straddling Clarke. I jump backward and slowly back away.

"What are you doing so far from Camp Clarke? I was just headed there to find you. Though I guess this works just as well," I tell her.

"I can't be there right now," she says.

"What do you mean?"

She sits up but keeps looking into her lap. "I know you pulled the lever but it doesn't decrease any of the guilt I feel for it."

I hiss out in warning. "So that means you are running away?"

"You have no room to talk! Where have you been? No one could find you."

"I was still in the mountain and I hadn't left! I was trying to find someone but I didn't see anyone. No one came to find me," I yell at her.

"Look at me. I'm a mess and no one found me. No one Clarke, and I needed someone, and I don't have the one I need. Do you know how that feels? To know the only people you are close to are gone and the other hates you?" I feel my eyes burn and tears roll down my face.

Then I am sobbing and crying out in anguish and lost to wave of despair coursing through my body.

I cried for me and how I have truly become irredeemable. How the one person who can calm the sea of violence in my mind is gone and I don't know if I will see her again. How killing the innocents is the only thing in my whole that I actually regret doing.

I feel Clarke grab onto me and though I fight she doesn't let go.

"Everything will get better. I promise Kara and I keep my promises too don't worry," she tells me softly.

I barely hear her and just keep crying and it finally occurs to me why this is so much harder. It is harder because I took the innocent. I only take those that aren't.

I finally grip Clarke back and grab onto her hard. She doesn't say anything but continues to rub my back.

When I finally calm down some, I just stay there while she rubs my back. "You do understand you won't be able to get rid of me right. If you try to walk away right now I will follow you. You made me feel better and I am like a wild dog who you fed. You understand that right?"

I feel her tense up some but keep my grip on her strong. She relaxes after a couple of seconds. "I know you well enough now to know you will follow me. I guess we can stay together but you aren't following me until you clean yourself. You stink."

I can't help but let out a laugh. "Well don't you know how to make a girl feel special."

* * *

And that was the end of Season two. I always cry at that last episode. Watching the last like 15 minutes is just depressing. I am so pissed that I had to go back and not kill Emmerson. The little bitch. I hate him. He just always seems to have this stupid smug look on his face that drives me insane.

* * *

Revised 12/16/17


	11. Wanheda

Yeah! Chapter 10! Go me. So I totally forgot in my hatred for Carl Emmerson that I actually need him. So I had to go back and change it, which I am not happy about, like at all but whatever. Also had almost this entire chapter but didn't like the way I had written it so deleted the whole thing and am going in an entirely different direction.

-Just to let you know:

-Alycia Debnam Carey (Lexa): 5'5"

-Kara (Played by Sophie Turner (Sansa Stark)): 5'9"

-Did not realize how tall she was till now. Well shit. Whatever. But like imagine her but with a darker red hair, sides shaved, and then vine tattoos down the left side of her head, neck, shoulder, and arm like Cressida from the Mockingjay I and II.

-Or Kara as Katherine Barrell (Nicole Haught(Wynonna Earp): 5'9"

-Either or. I think of Kara as both, kind of switch between the two. Pick which one you prefer. Oh and with the season two hair color. For some reason, to me, it looks darker in season two of the show but that could just be me.

I don't own anything except Kara!

* * *

Chapter Ten

I sat in a tree across the clearing from Clarke and waited for the jaguar to appear. I was slightly pissed because it was my turn to kill something but by Clarke's logic since I got to kill the last jaguar it was her turn. It's not my fault that they are the most fun to hunt so I usually steal them from her.

 **Stop complaining. It drives us insane when you start whining like a child.**

'But it's my turn though'

 **Get over it and act like the warrior you are.**

'Whatever'

I watched as the animal slunk up to the rabbit under Clarke. She jumped from her spot and landed on his back but didn't kill it instantly, obviously missing the base of the spine. It looked like it managed to catch her on the shoulder. Gonna be a sweet scar for sure. She is able to kill the thing when it jumps straight at her. Scared the crap out of me for sure and she is lucky she wasn't seriously injured, I'd be seriously pissed if she did get herself hurt.

I quickly jumped down the 10 feet to the ground below and land softly on my feet. Being out here for 3 months definitely made me lighter on my feet. My favorite past time is scaring the shit out of Clarke. She hates it, while I find it absolutely hilarious.

I slowly walk up to her and then crouch down in front of her after she touches her shoulder.

"You were careless Clarke, you are lucky she only used her claws and not her teeth."

She rolls her. "Well, I still killed it didn't I."

I nod. "When you get killed one day I will make sure I put that on your grave. Good kill regardless."

"I really don't need your sarcasm, Kara."

I just snort and walk off going to find something to help drag the thing to the trading post.

Clarke and I have a system where I usually stay outside the trading post and she will go in. We agreed to that only because the first month we were alone, I may or may not have almost killed the postmaster when he tried to cheat me out of the deal and this was after the previous trading post we first used I killed the owner. Stupid asshole.

I was banned from coming back and Clarke was given a firm warning about her behavior. Now we usually wait for the father to leave and just deal with the daughter, but I still stay outside because I am not dealing with that shit.

So right now, I am sitting at the base of the tree watching the entrance of the post waiting for Clarke to finish our business, so we can leave.

 **Kara keep your eyes on those men. I do not feel right about seeing them here.**

I focus on the two men that are walking to post. Both look highly sketchy, more so the one that is wearing the half face mask. I wait for them to enter before I quickly climb up into the tree and sit watch.

I wait only a couple minutes before both men leave but I still feel on edge.

The last three months have done me well. If this was the first month I probably would have tried to kill them just for this feeling and because I still extremely pissed off over Emmerson escaping. We tried to track him but unfortunately, we lost his tracks and we were terrible at it. Also, trying to get my mind to settle and not lose myself in whatever violent haze I would lose myself in.

* * *

I silently climb down the tree when nighttime hits and I won't lie I am getting really pissed off. Clarke should have fucking left well before night time.

I feel some of the more violent voices in my head telling me to just go in and grab her and beat some sense into her, so we can leave and I try to fight the urge to listen, knowing I might get us kicked out permanently going in to get her. I quickly sit down and place my hands on my knees and calm down my breathing, focusing on keeping myself in control. I was almost calm when I heard a twig snap somewhere behind me.

Jumping up and grabbing my swords and keep looking to where I heard the noise. I don't see anything when I take a step around the tree only to feel something hit me in the back of the head causing everything to go dark.

* * *

I woke up and before I even opened my eyes I knew I was fucked. I could tell that my hands were bound, and I had a gag in my mouth and the stupid son of a bitch was carrying me. I keep myself still and try to think of ways to get out of this. I really want to kick him in the nuts.

I must have twitched because the bitch drops me. I accidentally bite my tongue and taste the iron in my mouth. I keep my eyes closed and try not to open them no matter how much I want to see this asshole.

He slaps me lightly a couple times on the face and when he does this I can't control the reaction and just throw my head forward. Unfortunately, all I get is a face full of dirt.

I let out a growl. I finally open my eyes and stare hard at the man after he uses his boot to flip me onto my back. I quickly take notice the black war paint and pray this man is Trikru.

I lift my hands up and rip the gag out of my mouth.

"Well aren't you just a ballsy little shit. When I get out of this I will use your blood as my war paint."

He just smirks at me. "If you get out of this _Wanheda._ "

"Oh, so you heard? A lot of people believe Clarke is the Commander of Death. Are you sure you didn't grab the wrong girl? I mean she did dye her hair red. I could be the decoy and you would have let her get away." I smirk right back.

"How do you know she did? I could have killed her." He tells me.

I let loose a snarl and feel my eyes burn. Quickly trying to calm down to keep my eye's a normal color., but I can already tell it is too late by the widening of his eyes.

"I wondered if the rumors were true and it seems like they are. Fortunate for me wouldn't you say."

I try to calm myself down, but I can feel my control slipping before it breaks free.

"IF YOU SO MUCH AS TOUCHED A HAIR ON HER HEAD I WILL TAKE EVERYTHING FROM YOU! I WILL KILL EVERYONE YOU HAVE EVER BEEN FRIENDS WITH AND KILL YOUR FAMILY IN FRONT OF YOU WHILE I LEAVE YOU FOR LAST!"

I start to pull at the bindings as hard as I can, not caring that I am ripping into the flesh on my wrists. I start screaming and pull harder when I feel the man hits me hard in the face.

The force of the blow causes me to land on my side and I try to keep my eyes open even though everything has started to turn double. It allows me to finally come back to myself and the slightly red haze that was slowly taking over my vision disappears.

"That wasn't nice Wanheda, you don't even know my name, but I did not touch your friend. I grabbed you before she even left the trading post, I wonder if she has even noticed your disappearance yet? She seemed to be quite busy with the trading girl," he cheekily tells me.

I just give a groan of pain and try to lift myself up ignoring the feeling of the blood running down the side of my head. I give my head a hard shake before turning my gaze back to him.

"Well aren't you just a douche bag."

He goes to grab my bound hands and I back up a little. "Don't fucking touch me," I hiss at him.

The man just narrows his eyes at me and puts his foot down in the middle of my chest before grabbing my hands and tying a long piece of rope around the bindings.

I bare my teeth at the man and give off a growl. He doesn't take his foot off my chest and instead increases the pressure. I feel my rib cage start to compress and creak from the action.

"I am going to put the gag back in your mouth if you bite me I will knock your teeth out. Do you understand? And then I'll just take you to find your little friend."

I hiss at the threat but let him place the gag back in my mouth.

 **Well, you certainly tried very hard. Good job losing control. Anything else you want to do to make this more dangerous for us?**

'I don't hear any of you coming up with better ideas.'

 **We could have if you had just stayed calm for more than 30 seconds.**

'He threatened Clarke! What did you expect me to do?'

 **Think rationally?**

'Stop talking to me right now.'

* * *

We have been walking a full day and by this point, my throat is on fire. I am tired. I haven't had actual sleep in like 2 days and I know that my attitude is about to take a serious nosedive.

We walk for a couple more minutes before I tripped slightly on a rock and then my stubbornness finally kicks in and I literally just sit down. He pulls on the rope a couple of times, but I just sit there and glare at him, making sure he sees me burrow my ass into the ground a little and release a heavy sigh.

I feel the bindings dig into my wrists again when he gives a particularly hard tug to get me moving and still I remain seated. I reach my hands up and pull off the gag. "You know normal people actually need at least a sip of water. If you gave me some I would feel the actual need to move for you."

"You are turning into one of the most infuriating people I have ever met," he told me.

"It is all part of the charm. Water would be nice. Oh, and you telling me where you are taking me would be nice too."

"The great Wanheda will be helping me go home," he says before handing me some water.

I take a couple big gulps before I hand it back. "Thanks. What is your name oh mysterious one?And I noticed how you haven't answered my question about where you are taking me."

"Roan. Put the gag back on before I make you."

I roll my eyes before putting it back on. I stand up and go to follow him.

He doesn't turn around. "By the way, if you take that gag off again I'll tie your hands behind your back and have the lead wrapped around your throat tightly."

I feel my eyes give a slight burn, but I don't make a sound.

* * *

I was brought back to myself when something hit me hard in the face. I felt all my memories and sense of self escape from behind the wall. I looked up and see Roan was standing over me.

I then realize that I can taste a lot of blood in my mouth. I quickly spit it out. When I do, I see why I can taste the blood. Next to me is a body with the throat ripped out. I scramble back, falling over myself trying to get away, my bound hands not helping in any way, throwing myself back trying to get away as fast as possible.

The memories come flooding back.

 _*FLASHBACK*_

 _I was quickly thrown to the ground when we saw some people further in the field we had just entered. My head bounced off the back of the dead tree limbs that were around us._

 _The voices roared in my head and I couldn't control my action to start screaming at him, roaring out my fury._

" _Their deaths are on you."_

 _With that, he drags me up, throws a bag over my head and starts talking to them. I don't listen and try to calm down my bloodlust that is forcing its way into every part of my body. I had worked the gag off my mouth using my tongue. It was making me angrier than I already was._

 _ **Calm yourself! NOW!**_

' _I can't' I growl out._

 _ **Your hands are tied! What do you think you can do? Tell me!**_

' _I don't know'_

 _I haven't felt like this in maybe two months. The whole first month I was with Clarke I had episodes like this almost every day and it usually ended with both of us covered in bruises from the fight we ended up in. We are lucky that neither of us broke any bones. Clarke did learn how to fight so there was that._

 _The sun was blinding when the was bag ripped off my head. I start shaking my head because now seeing the others is making it harder not to attack. I feel the need for their blood. I let out a growl and can feel massive burning in my eyes, meaning that the red has taken over everything except my pupils._

 _Roan made a massive mistake when he let go of the rope. I knew I had to get away, I hadn't killed anyone in two months and that was because Clarke had decided that it was better for me to stay away from any business transactions._

 _I bolt and run away. Trying to keep myself from turning back and attacking the men that were around us. I made a mistake though and stopped paying attention to where I was headed. My foot tripped over a stupid fucking rock and I went down hard, making sure to twist myself to land on my back. The man was quick to land on me._

 _I didn't think I just reached my hands forward and grabbed the sides of the fur and pulled him in and then bit down hard. I felt my teeth bit through the skin, muscle, and then bone. I had always had sharper than normal teeth and they certainly came in handy. I kept my teeth bit down and then pulled back. Feeling the spray of blood and watched the light leave the mans pain-filled eyes. The blood warmed my face_

 _I started to laugh, starting as quiet giggles, to feel my whole body shake with the laughter. I even felt a few tears run down my face. I didn't even notice Roan walk up to me or that all the voices were quiet for once._

 _*FLASHBACK*_

I can't take my eyes off the body a couple feet away from me. I retreat deep into my mind, trying to stop myself from thinking about what I had just done. I don't struggle when Roan grabs me and pulls me away. All I can focus on is the taste of blood in my mouth and try not to throw up.

He pulls me into some underground thing. I am not even positive what it is, but it has a roof which is nice. He makes sure I am securely tied to the post and keeps the gag down, before starting a fire.

"Roan."

He looks up at me. "What?"

I sigh and look at the floor. "I am sorry that you saw that."

"Well that wasn't the worst thing I have ever seen but I will admit it was the most surprising. I can see why they call you the Commander of Death."

I let out a chuckle and shake my head a little before looking back at him. "It isn't all that its cracked up to be. It can be very loud."

He tilts his head at that.

"Also, don't pretend I can't see the scars on your face. Are you taking me to the Ice Queen? If you are you better knock me the fuck out because I am going to fight you the rest of the way."

He didn't reply and just kept his gaze on me.

 **Be smart about this.**

"You will be the ticket back to my people," he tells me.

He stands up and quickly puts the gag back over my mouth. I don't fight but decide to wait and watch, a part of me thinking that he isn't taking me to the queen, especially because that the slight twitch of disdain I noticed when I mentioned the Ice Queen.

* * *

I hate this son of a bitch so much for putting the fucking bag back on my head. I start to slowly work the gag off, using my teeth and tongue, slightly grateful for the bag because I probably look ridiculous. He may know how to keep my hands tied but the guy is shit at making the gag tight. I can't even reach up to take the bag off because the bitch tied my hands behind my back.

I know we went through some city and then really high up. I hear big doors open and then I know we entered a spacious room.

" _Wanheda as promised."_

"God, you're such a fucking dick. I am gonna show you Wanheda when I rip your throat with my teeth and then use your bones as toothpicks and your spine as a new sword. Fuck you!"

Roan's response to this is to harshly kick my knees out. I fall heavily onto my knees. Then he pulls the bag off my head and I look up blinded by the sun slightly and then she is there. The sunlight hitting her, making her look like an angel and she standing in front of me. Her eyes seemed deeply pained and relieved to see me. I feel tears begin to form and it becomes harder to breathe.

"Hello Kara," I hear her voice as I try to burn this into my memory, how absolutely beautiful she looks, and that the voices are finally quiet allowing peace to fill me.

Lexa slowly walks down from her throne and gives almost a harsh look at Roan. "The deal was for you to bring her to me unharmed."

"Well, she didn't come easy."

I can't stop the growl. I move as quickly as possible. I shift and sweep my left leg out catching Roan around the back of his knees causing him to fall to the floor, with a cry of shock.

I quickly roll onto my back and shift my hands over my feet bringing my bound hands to the front of my body and then roll farther back, keeping my legs perfectly straight bracing my hands and then roll into a standing position. I bare my teeth at Roan.

"God, you are the dumbest fucking person I have ever been kidnapped by. If you had fucking told me, we were headed here I wouldn't have done half the shit I did."

I then notice how everything is quiet and look around and everyone seems kind of shocked I did that, except Lexa who I can see under her Heda mask looks way too proud. I straighten my back and puff my chest out in pride.

I then bow my head slightly. "As always, it is an honor my _Heda_."

Her eyes soften a little more and give a nod of her head in acceptance.

I then turn to Indra and I can't stop my smile no matter how hard I try. I bow my head a little like I did for Lexa and watch Indra's eyes widen slightly. "It is also an honor to see you once again Indra."

Indra does not move but she seems to relax her shoulders slightly.

I notice that Roan is finally standing again and if looks could kill I would certainly be dead. The smirk I send in turn is particularly vicious.

"I have done my part now do yours. Lift my banishment."

I barely contain the snort.

"I'm told your mothers army marches on Polis."

"That has nothing to do with me. Honor our deal," Roan tells her.

"I'll honor our deal when your Queen honors my coalition."

 **Fucking BURN!**

'Why are you the only fun one?'

I don't hear a response.

"Lock Prince Roan of Azgeda away."

I don't even try to stop the bark of laughter that slips out of my mouth and just give Roan a smug look when he turns and looks at me before he leaves.

"What of Wanheda?'" the bald man asks. I don't like him already.

"None of your fucking business," I mutter but I think he heard me because he gives me a glare. Well isn't someone sensitive?

"Leave us," Lexa orders everyone in the room.

The two guards at the door didn't move. "I said leave us," Lexa tells them.

I feel my body burn with anticipation. When I hear the doors close I take a step closer and feel my hand reach out before falling back to my side. I want to reach out and touch her but I am not sure I can or should.

I look at her and then look at the ground. "Do you remember Lexa?" I softly ask, keeping my eyes down in case of rejection, fearing what I would find in her eyes.

I hear her take controlled steps to me and see her boots enter my vision. I hear the sound of a dagger being drawn and then see her knife cut the rope off my wrists.

A slim finger lifts my chin and then I am looking slightly down into her eyes. Her eyes are softer than I have ever seen them. She lightly drags her hand behind my neck and pulls me down and stops right before our lips meet.

"I could never forget such a promise, my warrior," I feel her hot breathe on my face and shiver a bit in pleasure.

Then I smash my lips into hers, reaching my hands up and threading them through her hair. I drag one hand down to the middle of her back and pull her closer. I feel her other hand trail up and join her other hand on my neck. I felt something building in my chest, something powerful, that was burning its way through my entire body. It felt like I could finally breathe. That everything was alright again and that I was safe. That the feeling of having chains wrapped around my body is finally gone.

I started to roughly place open mouth kisses across Lexa's jawline and when I made it down her neck to place between her shoulder and neck breathing in heavily. The scent crashing through my brain and then what I felt building earlier exploded and collapsed like a bomb going off in a tall building, loud anguished sobs ripped through the room and then I was holding onto Lexa for dear life. Lexa returning the hug with equal strength.

I shoved my face deeper into her neck and sobbed harder, while Lexa started to just rub my back and say sweet nothings in my ear.

After god knows how long, I moved my head to place on hers. Her bright green eyes dim in an unknown sadness and shined with unshed tears that caused my chest to clench. She brings her hands up and gently holds my cheeks, using her thumbs to wipe the tears away.

"Be strong my warrior. We are together once more little one," she gently whispers.

"I missed you so much. I had no peace with you gone. Everything has just turned into a mess, my Heda."

She gently places her lips on mine once more before stepping away and grabbing my hand. "Come, my little warrior," she tells me.

I let out a quick bark of laughter finally realizing what she has called me. "You do know I am taller than you, right?"

"Mockery is not the product…" she began

"…of a strong mind. Yes, I know," I interrupt her.

When she gets to the door she lets my hand go and I quickly wipe my face again and when I do and look down at my hands I realize they have a slight red look to them. My eyes suddenly widen.

"Lexa? Is there blood on my face?"

She stops and turns to look at me. "Yes, I assumed you knew, my apologies for not telling you sooner."

I let out a loud groan. "I can't believe I forgot about that."

She lifts an eyebrow at me. "You can tell me the story later."

" _Sha Heda."_

* * *

Lexa brought me to a really nice room. It had a balcony. I have no shame because I seriously love a good view and ran past her to see the view.

"Holy shit Lexa! I didn't realize how high up we are! This is amazing! Roan put that stupid bag on my head before we made it into the city. I just knew that there were a lot of people and that it took awhile to reach the throne room? Is that what you call it?"

I didn't look away from the view but my whole buzzed with a pleasant energy when I felt Lexa's arms wrap around my stomach. I leaned back a little enjoying how warm her body felt and the feel of her body pressed into mine. I have had no physical contact in the past three months besides getting into a fight with Clarke.

She chuckled. "I guess you could call it that or my meeting room."

She pressed her face deep into my back before taking a deep breath. "It is beautiful the view. I can stand there and stare for hours but now that you are here I might stare at something else," Lexa mumbled into my back.

Her soft lips lightly kissed the side of my neck sending a chill down my spine. I tilted my neck further to the side to allow her greater access, giving a hum of appreciation. Then she is gone and I hear her move back into the room.

I turn and walk back into the room after one more quick look out of the tower. When I enter I see her grab a pitcher of water, a bowl, and a rag.

After placing the items on the table she sits and nods her head to her lap. Giving her a small smile and try not to sprint over to her because I know what she wants. I kick my boots off and then lay down and put my head in her lap. Releasing a sigh of contentment I look up to her smiling down at me.

She reaches forward and puts the water into the bowl before dipping the rag in the water. She brought it back and started to lightly wipe my face. I disappear into bliss enjoying the feel of her wiping down my face with one hand and the other slowly running through my hair. I don't even notice that I had tears running down the sides of my face.

Lexa doesn't say anything and continues to clean my face and then my neck. If I was a cat I am sure I would be purring like mad. I close my eyes and continue to enjoy what she is doing, till I give a hiss of pain when she gently wipes the gash on my head from when Roan had hit me the first time I had woken up.

I open my eyes and look up and see the green fire has returned. I see the muscles in her neck are clenched. "He was not supposed to harm you. I specifically told him not too."

"He kind of had too for that one. I lost control of myself and was tearing at the bounds, hurting myself, and yelling creative death threats," I tell her and then slowly touch one my wrists, feeling the mangled flesh there, and give a slight hiss of pain.

I look down and it was as bad as I thought. The flesh of my wrists where the rope was is either scabbed over, weeping slight blood, or burned from the friction, with dried blood covering parts of my hands and arms. Harshly griping my left wrist increasing the pressure, trying not to let myself get too caught up in the memory of worrying that he had killed Clarke. Rough hands gripped both of my hands peeling back the fingers holding onto my torn wrist, letting go when I released my hold.

"Why did you lose control Kara?" she asks in a hard voice.

Looking up and seeing her eyes still burning with fury and with worry. "He neither confirmed nor denied if he had killed Clarke and after three months of only being around her I kind of lost any sense of calm that I had, not one of my finer moments for sure but at the time she was all I had and I don't know what I would have done if had actually killed her."

She released a heavy sigh and I couldn't tell if it was with relief or disappointment. "Clarke is fine. She has actually returned to your people. She will be coming with Marcus Kane and Abby Griffin in 10 days' time. When Indra told me about the Azgeda army crossing into Trikru territory, she said that they found her at a trading post. She was very concerned for you. They almost caught you with Roan but the army made them wait and by the time they moved to find you, you were already gone though they did find where you were being held."

I feel a weight lift off my soul that I had not noticed was there. "Well, that is certainly good to hear. I made the promise to protect her and I swear she protected me more than I did her. Didn't make me feel better about myself."

I closed my eyes enjoying the feeling of her hand running through my hair, surprising me that she is still doing it because my hair is rank as hell right now.

"What happened Kara? You can tell me." She quietly whispers to me as she runs her hands through my hair.

"The first month was so hard _Leksa_. Every day was a challenge to not drown in what I was feeling. The voices were so loud and the guilt buried me. The guilt was more difficult to handle not because I had killed so many but because many were not guilty. There were small children and those that had helped the 100 while they were held there. I found the bodies in the mass hall and it will haunt me for the rest of my days. All of them were covered in red skin, blood everywhere, and the smell of burnt flesh.

This guilt ate away at me. Clarke actually made a rule where I was not allowed to negotiate our trading deals or talk to people because when I did it the first time, I ended up killing the man because he tried to only give us a fourth of the meat instead of three thirds and when I refused, he tried to keep the animal saying something about how he needed the meat more than we did. I wasn't allowed to do it after that for a while, before she allowed me to try once again because I said I wouldn't kill him. I did but I didn't kill him this time. So, I was banned and after that, I had no human interaction, I mean Clarke wasn't bad-company but I certainly feel worse off because of it. After that, I wasn't even allowed in the man's trading post. Clarke told me not to worry about it and that everything would get better and parts of it did but as an over-all type of thing it didn't."

"When it became too much I would become trapped in this violent state. Clarke always tried to help me out of it and getting me out wasn't easy for her, it wasn't like it was with you but she helped. She helped me every single time. She learned how to fight because I would try to kill beat living shit out of her with just my hands. It made me better though, so I think that is why she allowed it. Eventually, especially the last month, I haven't had any violent mood swings and the voices in my head have finally calmed down. So like that was a bonus."

I release a soft sigh and then grab one of her hands to kiss her palm.

"Well, it was until like 4 days ago Roan kidnapped me. I had a small one when I first woke up from being knocked out and then a really bad one yesterday."

I close my eyes at that one and let out a shuddering breath that shakes my whole body. I feel Lexa's soft lips on my forehead. "Tell me what happened."

I don't open my eyes. "I ripped out a man's throat. Roan threw me to the ground and I hit my head. I couldn't stop the scream of rage that came out and three Azgeda scouts heard me. I ran when Roan fought them but one followed me and when I fell, he was quick to get on top of me. At this point, I had honestly lost all rational thought and forgot who and where I was. I grabbed him, pulled him forward, and then bit down hard on his throat and then pulled back."

"There was so much blood Lexa. I didn't remember at first what I did and all I could taste was blood. The iron burned my senses. I remember spitting out the blood in my mouth and seeing the body. I had never done something like before. I can still taste it."

Lexa places her lips once more on my forehead before softly moving her hand all over my face. I hum in appreciation the way she is taking me from the memories. I melt into bliss feeling her soft fingers running across my nose and across my lips.

"You have fought well. You may not have been the leader of your people, but you made sacrifices and choices that a strong leader would have. I am very proud of you. Now come. I have had a bath prepared for you. You stink and me washing your face doesn't help it."

I open my eyes and see that Lexa has that stupid smirk that I hate so much on her face. I just stick my tongue out at her and watch mirth dance across her eyes. I lift my head up allowing her to stand and she holds her hand out for me to grab. Quickly I grab it enjoying the soft tingles I could travel through my whole frame.

* * *

Revised 12/19/17


	12. Ye Who Enter Here

Kind of glad I got the last chapter done. It was so hard to write the meeting with Lexa. Was not in the mood to write something cheery. I have the meeting with Queen Nia and Ontari planned. It's been floating around in my head for days now. Depending on what happens I might force into this one but it will probably be in the next chapter I write. Also, I am doing a Lexa POV in this chapter. This is going to be a pretty fluffy chapter at least the first half. I had a good weekend so I was thinking that I should give everyone reading something cute before going back into things.

The whole time I wrote the last part of the fluffy scene in this I kept trying to type Clarke before stopping myself and saying 'Bad author!'

I own nothing except Kara.

* * *

Chapter Eleven

I sat high in the tree and watched the ground looking for the slightest movement. I had barely been in Polis for a week before I felt the rising panic of being indoors. I told Lexa that I was feeling caged and she understood when I said I needed to go on a hunt. She made me take a guard because in her opinion I was in danger of being killed by someone for my power, or kidnapped by someone from Azgeda for the Queen.

I had a few discussions before with some of the voices I had heard in my head, and they had told me that if someone does kill me and gained my powers, they would lose themselves in the insanity. I was only able to function so well because I had had the voices my whole life and my brain was able to handle it though we have totally different definitions of handling things. Some had told me that death while natural was chaos. It was the end of everything for a person and many could not handle the chaos in their mind. Though honestly that was very confusing but it made sense to them so whatever.

She is gonna be so pissed when she learns I ditched the guard as soon as we passed out of the edge of Polis though. She really needs to get better warriors to guard me, though he really should not have walked in front of me. I have gotten hella good at the whole quietly walking in the forest thing and you would think that someone from Trikru would notice when the person behind them disappeared.

I had tracked very large cat prints, hoping that it was a jaguar that I would get to kill. I was still slightly upset about the last one being stolen from me from Clarke. I was quick to capture a rabbit and tie it up below my tree.

Hearing the snap of a branch I looked up to see a massive cat slink out of the undergrowth. It didn't look like a jaguar. It was positively massive. It was certainly a cat though but I could easily tell it was a different breed. The radiation had mutated the poor thing to be only a couple inches smaller than the shoulder of one of Lexa's largest war horses. The massive cat was burnt orange and covered with black stripes. It had to have been old because much of its face was covered in scars, with the left side looking to be burned, with every step you could clearly see its muscles. Instantly knowing this was going to be an amazing fight.

I felt myself get excited. I wanted its pelt and knew the local butler at Polis would love the meat and wished it was closer to when Clarke and the others from the Ark came to visit and we could use it for the feast but sadly they were too many days out and the meat wouldn't be fresh anymore. Or maybe I could gift the things meat to Lexa. She might like it and hopefully, it gets me out of trouble for leaving the guard but I have a feeling I am being too hopeful.

I slipped both daggers out of the sheaths strapped to my thighs. I narrowed my eyes in concentration and when the animal was right underneath I fell from the branch, causing the limb to creak in the loss of weight. The thing must have heard me because it looked up and was able to quickly jump to the side. I was able to slice the side of the cat when I landed instead of hitting it in the base of its neck, but the cuts were not deep enough to do any serious damage to the animal.

I let out a war cry and jumped at the cat aiming for the neck. The dagger in my left hand stabbed into the cats left shoulder in its attempt to escape the right, not seeing the steel in both hands. It gave a roar and with a powerful swipe of its claws hit the right side of my face hard. Throwing me a couple feet into a tree.

I let out a roar of agony. The whole right side of my face felt like it was on fire, the nerves screaming at me. It started from a little above my right hairline, going down at a sharp angle down to my chin and jawline. The vision in my right eye had a red sheen to everything letting me know that the claws missed my eye but I could feel the serious damage to the rest of it, the blood making it very difficult to see.

I had lost the grip on my left dagger but was able to keep a hold of my right dagger. Then my vision was filled with red, burnt orange, and black. I felt the animal bite on my left shoulder and the agony that was quick to follow. Massive and sharp teeth easily tearing through the skin and muscle and feeling the bones creak under the pressure of the strong bite.

I now certainly wished that I had stayed with the guard. I couldn't stop the thought that I might actually die from the animal.

I tightened the grip on my right dagger and then started stabbing the thing in the throat feeling the cat increase the power of the bite, knowing if the pressure increased anymore my shoulder would shatter and I would truly be fucked, hope wasn't all lost when the strength of the bite started to slacken and then I felt claws that had latched onto my right shoulder dig in and felt more claws dig into my left side.

I gave another scream of pure agony. Then dug the dagger into the cat's throat once more and then ripped it to the left in almost a throwing manner cutting the neck of the animal in half. The strong hold of it jaws that it still had loosened, but I crushed under the weight of the animal.

I used my remaining strength to move it just enough to get out from under it, allowing the massive cat to fall the remaining distance to the ground and for me to finally get a full breath of air.

 **I don't know how you plan to get out of this one.**

 **She is going to be so pissed at you.**

I felt tears burn my eyes and harshly shut them, ignoring how all the nerves on half of my face screamed out in agony. I quickly relaxed my face.

"Fuck, she is gonna kill me," I whisper to no one.

I dragged my dagger across my pant leg, cleaning off the blood on both sides before putting it away and repeating the process with the other after ripping it out of the large cat. I made sure not to put any pressure on my left arm and used my right to help me stand up. When I stood up I gave a quick kick to the side of the cat.

I move across the clearing ignoring all the blood that covered a good portion of the green surrounding me and grabbed the two branches that had a leather covering stretched between the two that I had hidden there till now. I brought it back to the cat and was somehow able to roll it onto the thing. I grabbed the rope I had in my pack and tied it down making sure it wouldn't fall off when I started moving.

Everything hurt and I knew this one was going to be one of the hardest things I had done in my whole life but that fucker is gonna be a kick-ass cloak and headpiece. I sure as hell was going to keep the claws and teeth so that I could use them on my armor and maybe make a necklace if I have enough of the thing left over. It would look so fucking cool.

I reached down and ignored the agony I felt radiate out of my left shoulder, entering almost a dark area allowing my mind to ignore the pain. I took a really deep breath, held it for a couple seconds before releasing it in my very loud huff. I am a boss ass bitch and I am fucking awesome. Hell Ya! I am totally going to make it back to Polis and try to pretend that Lexa isn't going to freak the fuck out when she sees me. I already feel a million times better even if the pain is going to be a bitch to deal with, but the scars are gonna look fucking fierce.

* * *

 _*POV CHANGE (LEXA)*_

I had finally been able to relax. Since the fall of the mountain when we had left the sky people and more importantly Kara, I had felt like I couldn't truly breath. I felt an overwhelming sadness that I tried to never think too much on and why I would feel that way because any time spent thinking on it would make my chest tighten and make it even harder for me to breath. I knew it was because I had grown too attached to Kara and I didn't like to think about how making the deal with the Mountain Men made me lose her.

When I had turned around after she screamed my name and saw her on her knees. I almost couldn't stop the overwhelming wave of sadness and self-loathing that swept through my body knowing that she probably hated me now. My breath had caught in my throat and I could feel the knot forming as well. Forcing the tears at bay. I thought she was going to curse me or damn me. I wasn't sure, and I dreaded the words she was going to tell me but then she told me to remember our promise to one another.

I couldn't speak, my mouth had gone dry, and I almost lost the fight to keep myself from letting the sob burst from my chest. I just nodded my head and walked away barely hearing her last parting words.

The weeks sped by and I continued to ignore the hole missing in my chest. I didn't want to admit that the girl who had told me herself that she was crazy was the most important woman in my life. A woman I knew who could be extremely dangerous when her eyes turn red and almost seem to burn like fire and promise destruction, the women who had helped kill an entire race of people and that would have fits where she lost total control of herself that would sometimes scare me because I knew the more she was trained the higher the chance she would of killing someone.

When word reached of Azgeda searching for Wanheda, I knew they were looking for Kara. I felt my heart stop and the air stolen from my lungs. They would not get their hands on her, not this time. I would not allow Azgeda to take another person that I loved from me and I did, which was why when I turned my back on her it was so hard. I ordered Roan to find her for me, promising freedom in return if he brought her unharmed and knowing that she wouldn't come quietly, it was petty revenge but I did not care.

I was shocked to see her face covered in blood, most of it covering the lower half of her face. I was not surprised to hear the death threat to Roan though when she had walked in. I almost lost my composure when Roan had violently shoved Kara to her knees, fury crashing into my body like waves on a beach.

When I had everyone leave the room and she was in my arms once more, I felt peace and the hole in my chest felt filled and wasn't pulsing anymore. Then she started to sob and I didn't have the strength to hold my own tears back and some escaped but I don't think she noticed, too caught up in her relief at being together again, myself feeling the same.

The last couple days with her back have been amazing. I still have not asked her about making the Sky people the 13th clan only because I do not know how she feels about them. I know that she spent the last three months with Clarke and I worry when she does come to Polis that Kara will leave with Clarke. Hopefully, I can convince Clarke of staying as the ambassador to keep Kara here, knowing she might still hate me.

Titus seems to sense that things with Kara are more than they appear though. A few times he has arrived when I was with Kara and he can se the look her in eyes when she would look at me, thinking Titus was not watching her. His face would remain passive but I could see the small beginning of hate and mistrust in his eyes. Kara would always ignore him. She said there was just something about him she didn't like. I wouldn't say anything, but I made sure to always watch her interactions with him just in case. I knew if things progressed further he will talk to me about it and I wasn't looking forward to the fight that would ensue.

Since her arrival here at Polis anytime she looks at me, it's like she sees something only she can. This look of utter awe will take over and her eyes would soften. The half-mad look in them would slowly vanish leaving her eyes looking clear.

I was deeply concerned when Roan had first removed the bag and I saw the crazed look in them. The way her eyes looked almost glazed, the small tilt of her head as though she was listening to something only she could hear. The way the red in them almost seemed to glow and then she saw me standing there. I was able to watch as the red vanished in less than a second. The way that her eyes seemed to water. Then the anger at Roan when he said she hadn't come easy and the vicious smirk and glee when I had him taken away.

I could see the past couple of days that she was starting to become anxious. Then last night she finally confided on how she was feeling like she was being caged again, and she needed to go on a hunt. The hunting for her had become something that instead of doing for survival she had done to calm her mind. How the greater the predator the better she would feel. She liked the challenge that they would present. She was always sure to puff up her chest with pride and tell me how she hadn't been hurt in a hunt yet, unlike Clarke who in their last hunt had gotten clawed in the shoulder.

I was quick to order a guard to keep her under watch and to make sure she didn't do anything too dangerous or that she hunted something that she wasn't prepared for. The guard is lucky I did not kick him off the tower when he showed up two hours later after they left to explain how he had lost her and could not find her after they left the city. I should have known she would have done this. Honestly, I am lucky that she even listens to half the things I ask her to do.

I have been sitting in my throne room since the guard returned. I know her well enough that this will be the first place she comes when she returns. I continue to fiddle with my knife trying to keep myself calm. The room was getting darker and only the torches and candles surrounding the room were keeping it bright enough to see.

I was lost deep in thought when the doors to room banged open. I looked up about to yell at whoever barged into the room when I see that it's Kara and she is covered in blood. I bolt upright and almost drop my knife. My hurt is pounding in my chest and it feels hard to breathe.

The whole right side of her face seems to be cut open, four large claws looked to have ripped through her face but her eyes seemed fine. I could see that her left shoulder seemed to have a massive bite mark and was still weeping blood, along with more claw marks on her body. It was then that looking past her war paint and blood that I realized she was very pale from the loss of blood but her smile was crazed and her eyes swam with madness and excitement.

A loud thud echoes through the room and I finally see that Kara had been dragging a massive animal behind her, wondering how she was even able to bring to massive animal up in the lift. I had only seen a cat that size once or twice in my life and the first time was with Anya who was quick to drag us into the trees, high in the canopies and made us wait there for hours telling me that the cat would have to be hunted with a team to minimize the risk of death and maybe if I was older then we might have been able to hunt the animal together but it was too high of a risk. I feel the overwhelming burn of pride through my body for my chosen. The feeling of desire and pride though was hidden heavily under the overwhelming fear and concern from the injuries plain to see on her face.

"That was the heaviest fucking thing in my entire life. God am I glad to be back. I bring the meat to you as a gift, but I get the pelt, teeth, and claws. That son of a bitch owes me."

Kara's voice is gravely, and I can hear a slight rasp to it. It sends a shiver of pleasure down my back, thinking that now was not the time for such things.

"What happened Kara?" I practically ordered her.

She straightened her back upon hearing the tone of my voice, but her face gained a sheepish expression.

"I had a successful hunt."

I feel the increase of irritation building up quickly. "Kara," I snapped at her.

She looked down at the floor and let out a heavy sigh. "I am fine. I need to rest but I need to take care of the body first. I just wanted to show you. I hoped you would be proud of me."

I look around the room and see the guards looking straight ahead. "Leave us," I order them. They quickly nod their heads and leave the room. When the doors are closed, I quickly run forward and tilt Kara's head up and to the side so that I may see the damage.

I hiss out in anger. "I will have someone skin the animal for you. Now go to my room and stay there. I will be with you in a moment."

Kara just nods her head and turns to leave, her shoulders and head sagging.

"Kara," I quickly call before her hand can touch the door. She looks back at me, but her face is carefully blank, even her eyes are flat and are showing no real emotion.

"I have never been prouder of you, my little warrior," I tell her with as much emotion I can show her in my voice.

The smile she gives me is blinding but I can tell that it must hurt because I can see the pain in the lines of her face and in her eyes.

* * *

I returned to my room after having some guards take the dead animal to the butcher who would skin the animal and remove his teeth and claws for me, only to find Kara standing in the mirror with no shirt on and only the bindings covering her chest. The flash of desire was expected but the slight terror seeing how much of her was stained red from blood was not.

I went straight to the bathroom and turned on the tub, filling it with healing herbs I grabbed and oils that were meant to relax the body and mind from the smell. When the tub was steaming and full I turned the water off and walked back out to find Kara was still standing in front of the mirror.

Worry flooded my body when I saw the blank look on her face. I slowly wrapped my arms around her stomach and placed my head between her shoulder blades. Her body tensed before relaxing and leaning into me. I turned my head and gave her back a kiss and then slowly stepped back and grabbed her hand, pulling her to the bathroom and the tub.

I stopped in front of it and looked up into Kara's eyes, they still had this cloudy unfocused look but I knew she was paying very specific attention to what I was doing.

My eyes go to the claw marks that took up the whole right side of her face. I could see that the claws started at the shaggy hair on the side of her head and came down at a steep angle all the way down to her chin and jawline when I looked a little lower I noticed how to the claws also continued onto her chest.

I lifted my hand up and placed it on her left cheek. "You must be careful my warrior, just as I promised, you must promise as well."

She closed her eyes and gave a hum in understanding before grabbing the hand and kissing the middle of my palm. "I promise my love."

I felt tears well up in my eyes. The rush of happiness and overwhelming joy coursed through my body and I quickly pulled her into a hug. My head rested against her chest and I could hear the steady pounding of her heart. I heard the hiss of pain and went to pull back only to feel both of her strong arms wrap about my back forcing me back against her chest, making me think it was the lifting of her arm.

The feeling of being whole, complete, and safe resonated through my body almost pulsing. I had not felt this way since Costia and in some ways, it was stronger than when she was still with me. I let out a loud sigh of relief. I would protect her this time and god help whoever tries to take this from me. If I lost Kara to Azgeda then I would annihilate them. I would not stop till even the mere mention of that nation from a person would result in the loss of their tongue and their nation was nothing but ash and the soil and water poisoned.

I could hear many of the previous Commanders arguing in the back of my head. A few in agreement, while many were pleading how allowing myself to become this close to some girl, was foolish and would ruin me one day. The first Commander has only said one thing to me the whole time I have been Commander. Her soft voice had told me to take care of Kara, as though she knew how important she would eventually become to me. It was the deciding factor to try and court Kara and to accept the feelings I had for the girl.

I pulled back some and then leaned forward. Kara closed the last of the distance. The kiss was soft and everything I wanted in that moment. I gave a hum of appreciation. After a couple more seconds of soft kisses, I pulled back and gave her a soft smile.

Her eyes were clear and she was looking at me again with eyes filled with wonder.

"Ok let's get you clean before the water becomes cold."

I reached my hands down and began to untie her pants when her hands gripped mine. "What are you doing?" her voice was still husky and certainly sounded a few tones deeper than before. I looked up and her pupils were dilated. Only a small circle of blue remained.

"I am helping you, now let me please."

She bared her teeth at me. I was quick to lightly slap her in her stomach. She gave a slight growl and I watched as some red swirled in her eyes. The blood loss must be affecting her mind. I leaned forward and kissed her chest right over her heart.

I started untying her pants again and she didn't stop me, the red still slightly swirled in her eyes, never really staying but never really disappearing. Once I had her undressed, I had to keep myself from staring. My mouth was already dry and I was trying to stay focused on what I needed to do, ignoring the heat pooling in my lower belly. I pushed her towards the bath and once she got in, I quickly removed my coat I was wearing so to not get it wet. Thankfully the bath was in the middle of the room and had a chair next to it for when the handmaidens would help me bathe sometimes. Though that usually only happened on important meeting nights.

I sat in the chair behind the head of the tub and grabbed a hand towel and placed it in the water, swirling it around to let it absorb the healing herbs in the water. I rung it out a little and looked into Kara's eyes as I slowly wiped away the blood that covered her entire left shoulder. After cleaning the shoulder, it looked as bad as it did with the blood. The teeth marks were deep and I couldn't help but think it would be better for them if they were burned closed. She was lucky that it didn't seem to inhibit any of her movements.

After the shoulder was clean, I forced Kara's head back slightly further to where she had moved slightly down so that her whole face was staring straight up at me. Both of her eyes were black and red, with the slight blue left as a ring between the pupil and the red. I gave her lips a quick kiss and when I leaned back her eyes were calmer and more relaxed.

"I am very proud of your kill Kara but please remember that even though scars make you more formidable as a warrior I still would prefer you not gain any new ones," I softly told her, giving her another kiss but this time on the deep scratches to her face. I saw the slight twitch of muscles and the flash of pain.

I dipped the rag in the slightly red water and began the slow process of cleaning the scratches on her face. I started by slightly wetting her blood red hair, Thankfully, only two of the cat's claws had gotten her in her hair. The blood and her hair made it hard to see but I could only barely see the two cuts. I would need to cut the hair back down the scalp to be able to really see it.

"When was the last time you cut your hair?" I asked curiously. She cracked open one eye at me. I couldn't stop the smirk knowing I was annoying her.

She opened the other eye and gave me a slight glare. "Only you are allowed to touch my hair," and then promptly closed both eyes again. It would seem she finally learned the significance of what I had done when I had cut and braided her hair. It made me swell with pride.

I gave a thoughtful hum. "Would you like me to do that for you now?"

With that simple question, both of Kara's eyes opened and the smile she gave me lit up the room. Her eyes blazed and it made me happy and content to see such an excited look on her face. "Please?"

I gave a nod and kissed her lips softly before standing. I left the room quickly and grabbed the razor I had purchased from a vendor after the first time I had cut her hair. This was the first chance I had gotten to use it. For many in Trikru the act of cutting, braiding, or really anything to do with hair was reserved for only family, your _houmon,_ or someone you wanted as your _houmon_. By that point in time I had already known that I had wanted her but when she had talked about cutting her hair and getting someone to help, my mind had made the snap decision. No one would touch her hair except me. Wave upon wave of possessiveness had swept through my body when I cut her hair, vowing that I would be the only one to touch her hair was slightly concerning but thinking on what the first Commander had said I allowed myself to go with the feeling and enjoyed how that feeling was replaced with silent happiness cutting and running my hands through her blood red hair.

I quickly returned and when I sat down she turned her head allowing better access to shave the hair. I placed the razor on my lap and started to cup the water and wet the side of her head, mindful of the two large cuts. I picked the razor back up and started to slowly cut away the hair, each swipe of the blade causing more of the vine tattoos to become visible. I used more water when I finished to clean off any hair left behind and then gently whipped the scratches with the water and quickly noticed that the scratches were not as bad as the rest of her face.

"Turn your head. Now for the other side, my troublesome one."

She didn't open her eyes but gave a huff indignation at my statement and turned her head. I continued and started on her left side, each swipe of the blade allowing the stars and the Ark to become visible once more. I thought her tattoos were very appropriate. My favorite part was that the stars were only on the side of her head while the vines covered a good portion of her right side.

When I finished with her left side I gave her a quick kiss, feeling her lips curl up into a smile in the kiss. I tilted her head once more and started to clean the blood and war paint that was left on her face off. Once done, I realized how much damage the claws had done. They would scar heavily once healed but knowing Kara she would love it.

I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around her chest and rested my head on her shoulder, Kara leaning her head against mine. I then realized how long we had been there when I saw there was no steam rising from the water anymore. I leaned back ignoring her whine of irritation and tested the water and frowned when I realized how cold the water had gotten.

I stood up and grabbed one of the towels and held it out to her. "Get out of there before you get sick."

I turned my head to try and give her some resemblance to privacy. I felt her grab the towel before I turned and left the room. "I left fresh night clothes for you on the counter. Join me when you have changed."

She gave me a grunt of acknowledgment when I was left.

I quickly changed into my own nightgown and laid down under the furs. I knew that I would soon fall asleep but the peace I was looking for and needed I could not find.

I watched as Kara finally left the bathroom in a giant shirt, knowing it was her favorite thing to sleep in. She began to extinguish many of the candles I had around the room, soon the relaxing flames of them were almost completely gone and the light of the full moon outside illuminated the room.

Kara stopped at the edge of the bed and just watched me for a second. I could see her need to say something starts to build along with nerves. "Are you sure you want me to stay here tonight?" She ran her hand lightly through her still wet hair and shifted her weight from foot to foot.

I gave her a reassuring smile and then lifted the furs to signal for her to get in. She was quick to climb in and lay on her back perfectly still. Normally after talking the past couple of nights she would leave to her room and sleep there. She would never stay long in my room, something about it being improper.

I shifted myself and leaned into her side. I felt her stiffen up slightly before she forced her body to relax. I lifted her right arm and placed it on my shoulder and leaned my head onto her chest before releasing my own sigh of contentment. The peace I was looking for earlier came and hit me full force.

"I should not have ditched the guard today," I hear her whisper into the dark.

I just hum in acknowledgment. "When the thing bit into my shoulder I was worried that I might actually lose the fight and never return to you."

Kara tightened her grip on me. That one sentence filled my whole body with fear at that thought.

"You know what's funny?"

When she didn't continue I asked what.

"I told Clarke on our last hunt that she was lucky that she only got that cats claws and not her teeth. I even told her that she was careless. Ironic considering that I was careless today. It could have easily grabbed my throat instead of my shoulders, taken out both eyes with that first paw to the face, shattered my shoulder with its bite. So many things cou…"I cut her off with a kiss.

I quickly straddled Kara pressing most of my weight onto her. The thought of her death caused my chest to physically ache and feel ill. The loss so deep that I felt it in my soul. My kiss turned rougher and I started to nibble on her bottom lip before giving a violent bite and tasted some of her blood. I soothed the pain with a few swipes of my tongue. The moan that Kara let out was absolutely sinful.

I started to kiss my way down the side of jaw giving a few harsher bites along the way, one on the claw mark on her face. She let out a hiss arching her body up and her hips into mine before grabbing onto my backside in a harsh grip.

I eased my tongue across where I had bitten and then continued around the left side of her face before giving the bite mark on her left shoulder kisses before digging my face into the juncture of her neck and forced my arms under her back. I tried to stop the tears I truly did but I quickly lost the fight.

Kara stiffened under me. "Lexa?" I could hear the worry in her voice. I dug my face deeper and tightened my hold. She moved her arms up my back and started to rub gentle circles on my back while the other she started running her hands through my hair.

"Don't talk like that Kara," I sob out. Kara's hands stopped before she wrapped both arms around me fully and then squeezed hard. The breath vanished from my lungs from the force. Another sob ripped through my chest. I was almost sickened by the way I was acting. The Commander was not supposed to act this way. Our mission was to be alone but I couldn't. This was different. Kara was different.

She had only been here for a week and already it felt like she been by my side longer and I couldn't get enough of her presence. I always had to know if she was ok. I always watched her eyes when we were in the same room because though most of the time she kept her face blank, I could see many of her emotions pass through them. I was always able to bring her out of whatever hole she would dig herself in just by a simple touch or by calling her name and she would turn to me and give me a look of pure adoration that would sometimes take my breath away.

"Don't worry my _Heda_. I shall keep my spirit with you always, just like you shall with yours and when death claims use I shall be sure to follow and fight my way back to your side," she whispered into my ear. She kissed the top of my head before rubbing circles on my back once more.

"Sleep, Lexa. All shall be right in the morning."

The sudden explosion of my emotions and from worrying about Kara for whole day finally took its toll and upon hearing her say those words, I let my body relax. I fell asleep the soft humming of some song, feeling the vibrations from it in her chest, relaxing me further.

* * *

 _*POV CHANGE (Kara)*_

The next four days passed in a hurry. I was given some healing cream for my face and after visiting the _fisa_ it was decided to just burn the bite closed. I let him, figuring it would be easier to take care of. Oddly enough at least to me, it felt like it healed faster, as well as the massive claw marks on my face.

Lexa scared me the other night. I had never realized how devastating it was to see or even hear her cry. It tortured my soul, each hard sob feeling like it broke something inside me. Even the voices were in agreement with me. Many screaming in agony over something as simple as hearing a sob escape from Lexa.

The next morning she tried to distance herself from me but I did not appreciate that shit and got her to stop. She tried to tell me that it made her weak and I called her on her bullshit telling her it wasn't a weakness to care about a person. That it would make you stronger because it takes a truly strong person to protect those that mean everything to you.

After that, she talked about Skaikru becoming the 13th clan. I saw no problem, nor did I really care, and she brought up that I would need to bow to her. The voices did not agree and screamed and roared in anger, giving me a massive migraine. I knew that I might have a problem when I would need to bow but I threw that thought deep in the cavern of not giving a shit and would worry about it when I had to actually bow.

Though to be honest, I did not like the idea. A part of me was very against it. It reminded me of wolves fighting for dominance. This need to never bow and show weakness, how I felt that everyone was beneath me, except Lexa for she was my equal. The other part of me knew that I would do anything that Lexa asked of me and was stressing me out with the constant disagreement of my thoughts.

She did mention how the someone would need to take the brand to signify Skaikru joining the Coalition. I told her that the Chancellor would be the one who gets the brand, but I did mention I would not mind that or something else to signify my tying of myself to the coalition. Lexa seemed thoughtful and said she would think of something. I was driven from my thoughts once more by Indra.

I then looked over at Indra who kept grinning anytime she glanced over. It was honestly starting to freak me out. She doesn't smile a lot so what she is doing is making me to antsy. We were currently waiting for people from Arkadia to arrive or to see them in the crowd to welcome them. I watched out of the corner of my eye as Indra looked back over at me and smirked.

"Oh my god. Indra why do you keep looking at me like that? It is starting to creep me out," I tell her.

She just smirks at me in response. "How does your face feel?"

And then it occurs to me. She knows. I feel my face heat up. "It feels fine."

Her grin becomes sharper. "Did _Heda_ make you feel better? How about that new armor your wearing?"

I put my face in my hands and let out a loud groan. "Indra why are you doing this to me," I mutter.

"Because child. I find it greatly amusing. Oh, there they are. Come."

I look up as she walks away. I quickly follow.

"Kane," Indra calls out.

I could see that he was talking to Abby about something with Clarke just behind her. I block out whatever is happening with Indra and Kane and almost run over to Clarke tackling her to the ground in the middle of the street.

"Clarke!" I hear Abby call out.

"It's fine mom. She just missed me," she quickly tries to reassure her mother.

I just nod my head into her shoulder breathing in her scent. Finally accepting that she is perfectly fine and does not seem to be hurt. Though I probably hurt her a little tackling her in the street like that. Whatever.

"God I missed you! I was so worried about you. He said he didn't harm you but I didn't trust him," I mutter into her neck.

"Yes I am perfectly fine but you are heavy so get off me."

I quickly scramble back and grab her arms basically throwing her back up. "Oh crap. My bad Clarke. I just got some new armor made. Its heavier than my previous set and I wasn't exactly gentle there. Are you ok?" I ask quickly scanning her body.

I watch her face break into a smile before it vanishes and she grabs my face and turns it to the side. I let her and ignore the need to push her hand away. "Kara what the hell happened to you?" her voice is hard like steel.

I quickly back up and hold my hands up in surrender. "I just went for a hunt. I won but it was totally karma for mocking you about the jaguar. Though I now have this new cloak and added its claws and teeth to my armor! Lexa had it made for me! Doesn't it look awesome?"

She quickly looks up and down my body finally looking at the armor. I straighten up under her inspection.

Lexa when learning that I had abandoned my previous set took me to the armory and had them craft me a new set of armor, saying something along the lines of she couldn't be seen with a warrior who didn't even have armor but I think it was her own way of trying to make up for leaving us at the mountain.

My right arm had nothing on it to allow people to see the vines that went down to my elbows and just yesterday I had a new one done because I didn't want to forget the lesson I learned with what I learned was called a tiger. I had the man who did it just create stripes that wrapped around my forearm and then gave him a print of the cat and had him fit it onto the back of my hand and had him even include the claws. It hurt like a bitch to get done. The constant stabbing into the tender flesh of the top of my hand was not pleasant but certainly less painful than the bite.

The left arm had a black steel gauntlet and then it almost looked like plated armor that covered my whole arm and a steel shoulder pauldron that the blacksmith had been able to dye the metal a deep maroon color. I don't know how he did it or why Lexa would let me wear her color but I liked it.

Where my knuckles were under the gauntlet the man had what looked like melted the claws of the tiger into it so if I lost my sword and then punched the blow would be absolutely devastating.

I had a chest plate that while not made of entirely of metal had certain parts with the metal inlaid into the hard leather. On the chest, she had the blacksmith dye it black and then add white swirly lines that looked like the pattern on our knives with the Trikru clan's symbol pressed into the center. Around the collar of the armor, the blacksmith had taken the teeth and stitched them into the leather.

The cat I learned was big enough for the cape/cloak I wanted and then used the leftover pelt to make the back skirt thing that Lexa and Indra always wear. It was slightly heavy from the chainmail sowed into the leather side of the war skirt and you could hear it with each step I took, the pelt had been died black for the war skirt. The cape itself was made to look fierce and terrifying. The person who made it included the head as the hood so if needed I can throw it up over my face. The best part, to me at least, is that the upper teeth of the tiger were sowed into the edge of the hood.

The swords that I traditionally wore on my back would have been at my side but I learned there was a law where weapons weren't allowed in Polis. I did not mind the rule but I was happy to hear that I could carry my dagger. All warriors are allowed to carry a dagger but not their main weapons.

I was able to watch Clarke's face get paler when she looked at my whole form. I know I looked intimidating as hell especially now that I had the massive claw marks on my face.

"Glad you decided to be my protector for sure Kara," she gave me a smile.

"It also looks like being here around Lexa is doing you some good. I may not exactly be happy with her still but I know she is good for you."

The small smile I had on my face turned into a full-on grin and I pulled her into another hug. I hear the uff she let out when I squeezed and I didn't stop the small laugh and squeezed a little harder.

"I was so worried about you Clarke," I whisper quietly into her ear so no one else could hear.

She pulled back and placed her head on mine. "Me too Kara. When I finally left and could not find you anywhere I was so worried, especially when I found where he had grabbed you. I was almost happy to see the others arrive knowing that they could help me find you. Then hearing that you were in Polis all my worry about your safety vanished because I knew Lexa would keep you safe."

She took a step back and then narrowed her eyes at my face again. "Though apparently, she doesn't know how you have the ability to do really stupid things sometimes and take unnecessary risks. She'll learn though, she's too smart not to."

Clarke smirked and then moved to follow Indra and the others who were walking into the tower. I knew I had to get ready for later at the Summit. I had a bad feeling about tonight, the dead were not happy and were screaming that they wouldn't let me bow.

I left the group after quickly explaining what was going to happen tonight. I had to get ready. Lexa tried to explain earlier what I needed to do but stopped listening when she mentioned a dress. I don't do dresses. They are evil and I haven't worn one since I was a very small child.

* * *

After I had taken a bath, I went to Lexa's room so she could braid my hair. I loved when she did it. When Lexa finished, she let me help her with her braids. It was the first time she let me help her. I almost cried because she usually only let me just run my hands through her brown locks but never braid it.

When I finished she looked at me with pride and pulled me in for a heated kiss. I smirked when she pulled away, though she dropped her smile when she saw me in my normal everyday clothes.

"Why have you not change into your dress already?"

My face turned sour and I felt my lip curl. "I don't want to wear it. I was kind of hoping that I could just wear my armor," and then quickly crossed my arms.

Her face turned thoughtful before turning heated. I quickly took a step back not trusting that look. It was the look she gave me before she would always get her way. It was how she was able to convince me to have the guard the day of the hunt, though obviously, it didn't last long.

She took a step forward and I had to use my iron will to keep myself from backing away from her. Lexa stalked towards me and when she was in front of me, reached forward and started to slowly drag her hands up. Her right hand cupped my cheek and I leaned into the touch not being able to stop myself. Her other hand trailed back down before slowly moving around my side to my back and then was grabbing my ass. I let out a groan. I then knew how she was going to play this and while I loved what she was doing I hated how weak she made me feel sometimes.

She pulled me into her space and then my whole front was pressed into her. I could feel her heat through my clothes. My hands came up and I pulled her deeper into me while leaning my face down, right before my lips met hers I felt her finger. I opened my eyes not realizing I had closed them.

"If you agree to wear the dress, I'll give you anything you want," she whispered. I felt her hot breath on my face. I shuddered in pleasure and gave out a loud almost whining noise from deep in my throat. Looking into Lexa's eyes and seeing how they were blown wide with desire and I felt the fire burning into my whole body.

"Anything I want?"

"Yes, my little warrior."

I let out a loud growl and then attacked her lips. I wasn't gentle at all. I was nipping at her bottom lip and when she gave a gasp of pleasure, my tongue invaded her mouth and fought for dominance. My grip on her back increased and I felt her hand that was on my cheek grab the back of my neck forcing me further into her kisses.

After a couple of minutes, I forced myself to back away. My eyes burned and I knew they were blood red. My whole body felt alive while drowning at the same time.

I let out a loud groan. "I'll wear the stupid fucking dress but you sure as shit owe me."

The look she gave me, was honestly upsetting because she looked way to fucking pleased with herself.

"Ugh!" With those amazing last words, I quickly left the room.

* * *

When I entered the throne room, I almost stopped. Lexa was beautiful. The music and everything about the room made her look so beautiful and I felt my heart sputter for a moment before speeding up. Then I realized what that feeling was and what the warmth that I always felt when I looked at her. I was in love with her. I mean I knew that I deeply cared about her but the thought of loving her? I had never even thought about it, well I had a little before the battle of the mountain but I had placed it on the back burner for the time being.

I was finally in front of her. I knew my look must be very transparent because Titus looked absolutely furious. I went to bow to her when my whole body locked, I had barely gotten my head down.

 **WE DO NOT BOW! DEATH DOES NOT BOW!**

I slammed my hands into my ears and let out a quiet whimper. I fought hard trying to force my body my body down. My whole body was shaking. I grit my teeth and in doing so I felt the scabs on my face split, feeling the flare of pain and then the warm blood running down my face. I felt tears of frustration start to build up in my eyes and then I looked at Lexa. She looked almost scared and I could see the obvious worry in her eyes, watching as she jerked slightly obviously wanting to help me.

I clenched my teeth harder.

'YOU WILL BOW BEFORE HER! I AM THE COMMANDER OF DEATH NOW YOU DO WHAT I SAY!'

The voices were screaming and roaring out in anger. The more I clenched my teeth the easier it was to move and then I realized it was because my claw marks on my face felt like I just received them. I reached my right hand up and then dug it into the burned shut bite mark. I let out a moan of agony feeling my fingers dig into the slightly tender burned flesh. I was able to get one knee down on the floor and then my body was working once more and I was able to bow my head. My entire body felt exhausted from the inner battle I had just won.

My brain felt like it was splitting open.

I barely heard the words from Lexa. Her voice sounded strong but I heard the slight quiver at the beginning. It was small, and you would only hear it if you knew Lexa. I looked up and soaked in the strength she was giving off in waves.

"Hail the Commander of the Blood," I echo back with everyone.

"Rise," she commands. I quickly stand and ignore how everything kind of goes in and out of focus for a second before I walk over and stand next to Clarke. She doesn't say anything but she does grip my wrist and squeezes with all of her strength. I feel the blood continue to drip down my face and feel something wet in my ears. I reach my hand up and touch my left ear to realize that my ears were bleeding, and so were my eyes and nose. What I thought was tears of pain were actual tears of blood.

 **We do not bow Child! Do not disgrace us like that again or we will send you into insanity with no hopes of coming back. This is your only warning. There will not be another one.**

I felt the fear stiffen my spine and my whole body freeze. I then hear my name and realize that Lexa is talking about what I did at the mountain and I focus back in ignoring how I still feel terrified.

"The reason for this summit has changed. We are not here to negotiate a treaty with the Skaikru but rather to initiate them into the coalition. To symbolize this union the leader must bear our mark."

Every one of the ambassadors is talking amongst themselves, many not sounding happy at all with this news. I grit my teeth at the lack of respect being shown. The growl slips from between my teeth, louder than I have ever heard it causing everyone in the room to stop and stare at me, some in fear and others in anger.

"Present your arm," Lexa tells Kane.

When the brand is placed on his arm the throne room doors open and I am shocked to see that it is Bellamy, Octavia, and some man wearing Skaikru clothing. I for some reason remember him around my mother but I can't be for certain.

"What is the meaning of this?" Titus demands. For once I can't help but agree with him.

"This summit is a trap. We need to get you out of here," Bellamy tells the others.

His eyes widen he sees my face but quickly controls his face.

"What is he talking about?" Clarke asks Lexa.

"I don't know," Lexa growls out. I start to slowly move closer to her and stop once I know she is behind me and Bellamy and the others would have to get through me to get to her.

I bare my teeth, not happy at all when I finally realize that all of them have guns.

"It's the Ice Nation," Bellamy tells her.

"These allegations are an outrage. The ice nation never stormed the Summit with weapons. Breaking our laws. That was the Skaikru." The ambassador tells the group.

"We are right about this. The two guards you left are already dead. We need to go now!" The strange man tells Kane and Abby. Something is wrong with that man. I can feel the death coming off of him. He has killed many and I could tell that he will kill many more. I instantly hate him. I bare my teeth and watch him.

"How did you come by this information?" Lexa asks.

Everyone starts to look around for someone.

"Where the hell is Echo?" I hear Octavia ask.

"I don't understand," Bellamy exclaims.

Something is wrong. I can feel it. Everything in my body is shouting at me. The voices are saying things but I can't hear them. All I can hear is this ringing sound and the ticking of a clock.

I throw my hands up to my head when I hear a loud explosion in my mind and then screams. I slam my hands back up to my ears trying to block out any sound so that I can hear the whispers, finally understanding the words. The whispers spoke of the ice nation, Emmerson, and Nia. The voices in my head are mournful.

I hear the words of the ice nation ambassador. The growl I release promises death. I take a step closer to kill him but Clarke grabs my hand and whispers into my ear. "You can't kill him here. You need to calm yourself Kara. Lexa looks terrified, you really scared us there."

She releases my hand before telling Abby that she will be the ambassador and stay in Polis and that I will protect her. My mind fractured partly, and the more rational part was pleased knowing I wouldn't have to leave Lexa so soon, the other part that wanted death was upset because I would not get that here in Polis.

I stayed in place and watched as everyone was leaving to go change into appropriate clothing for the meeting that was convening in an hour. I quickly followed behind Lexa who only with one look told me to follow her.

When the door closed to her room, she slammed me against it grabbing the sides of the collar of the dress.

"What just happened Kara?" she hissed at me.

I could tell that this was the first time that I was truly seeing the Commander and not Lexa. She seemed to be buried deep inside. I reach and grip her hands harshly. Slowly increasing the pressure till she released me with a hiss of pain. I lean into her neck and take a deep breathe in, making sure to get all of her scent. Allowing it to clear the voices that are screaming in my head and the madness that is becoming tempting to grab. I shiver in pleasure at the smell.

She smells of blood, trees, and dirt. I run my tongue from the hollow of her neck up to her ear and nibble at the lobe. Lexa releases a sound of pleasure before realizes what she did and pushes herself away from me.

"Focus Kara and tell me what happened in there."

My face becomes granite. "Death does not bow."

Her face becomes confused before realization dawns on her face. "They aren't happy with you."

I give a shake of my head. "They said that if I try to do something like that again I will be forced into insanity and nothing I try will stop it. Then I started to hear this ticking noise before an explosion sounded in my mind and then screams. My head still feels like it has been ripped open."

I shut my eyes in pain trying to ignore how everything hurts.

When I open my eyes I see Lexa making two glasses of wine. She hands me one and orders me to drink. I quickly down it and notice that it tasted weird. We just had some the night before so I know the taste is off. My head starts to swim and I realize what she did.

"Lexa?" I ask. My voice comes out strained.

I feel her catch my weight when I start to collapse and she drags me to her bed and places me on the furs.

"Sleep, my love. I can tell and see the pain you are clearly in. Let me take care of you once more."

I feel slightly betrayed that she would resort to this but understand that if she hadn't I would have placed all my armor on and followed her and Clarke around making sure no one tried anything to hurt them, ignoring how my head feels like it is being split open.

I close my eyes and let sleep take me.

* * *

Revised 12/20/17


	13. Watch the Thrones

Next chapter! Thank you to everyone who comments and is still reading my story. Keep commenting as well because I love it when I update and I see that people have posted a comment. I also feel the need to mention that I love how fucking awesome Lexa is in this episode.

I don't own anything except Kara.

* * *

Chapter Twelve

When I woke up I knew I was still in Lexa's bed judging from the smell. It engulfed me and made me tempted close my eyes once more when something tickled my nose. I felt my nose twitch and then realized I was pressed into something that was extremely warm. I peek an eye open and I see rich brown hair and know I am the big spoon.

"Fuck yes," I whisper before increasing the grip I had on her pulling her back further into me and nuzzle my face into her neck.

"Go back to sleep it's too early," I hear Lexa mumble out.

I press light kisses to the back of her neck and feel her huff. "Kara. Back. To. Sleep," she growls out.

I give a growl in return, pull back quickly and then straddle her body. Her eyes open and I see green fire staring back at me. I lean forward to drag her into a kiss, but she quickly shifts her hips and because I was holding onto her, rolls with me, till she is on top. She then collapses and wraps her arms around me not allowing me to move before her breathing evens out once more and I realize she fell back asleep.

I frown knowing that we will not be making out or doing any heavy petting and then slowly shift her body over a little and instead of her whole body on top of me its just one side, with her head resting on my uninjured shoulder.

For the next hour, I slowly play with her hair. My whole being buzzing with pleasant energy. I realized that Lexa was right to do what she did last night. I was a little miffed for awhile but then came to the conclusion that if she hadn't I would have fought the pain in my body and would have stood guard outside Clarke's room the whole night or I would have gone and killed the Ice Nation ambassador. So good job on Lexa.

I felt her breathing begin to quicken meaning she will be waking soon. She shifts a little and seems to try to burrow further into my shoulder, exactly what I tried to do an hour ago. I press a light kiss on the top of her head.

I feel her give a huff of indignation, sounding not happy at all to wake up.

"You do not do well in the mornings do you," I mumble into her hair.

"Kara. I get the rare chance to sleep in and today is going to be a trying day, I need sleep so I don't murder someone."

I start to laugh. "I figured you would be happier knowing that Queen Nia is going to get the ax today."

She tenses up in arms, pulls away, and climbs out of the furs. I can't stop the slight feeling of hurt. "Do not speak of her. I do not want you anywhere near her. When you are in the throne room today, do not speak. I beg you."

She is standing in the middle of the room and I can see that her back is ramrod straight, like she is trying to hold herself together. I quickly climb out of the bed and turn her so she is facing me and force her to look at me.

Her face while noticeably blank, her eyes are not. I can see many emotions swirling in them. I can see the fear, anger, worry, happiness, sadness, and relief flashing in a constant loop. I place my head against hers and stare deep into her eyes. The voices promising death to the Queen for causing her to look like this.

My hands cradle her face and see her eyes lose some of their sadness. "I promise," I lean forward slightly and my lips meet hers in a soft kiss before resting my head back against hers.

"Now we both need to get ready. Will you braid my hair for me?" I gently ask.

I see the happiness swell and watch as her whole body relaxes. "Of course my little warrior."

"Ugh god, I hate it when you call me that," I tell her before going to sit in front of her mirror.

When I sit down and look up, I see that her green eyes are alight with mischief. She wraps her arms around my shoulders and rests her head on top of mine and then smirks.

"You know you love it when I call you that."

I just roll my eyes. "I am taller than you by almost a full head. Most of the time you look up slightly to talk to me, my little raccoon," I tease right back.

The smirk on her face disappears, she then leans back and lightly slaps my head.

"Hey!," I call out in a huff. "That hurt," I add.

"Do not call me that. I am heda," Lexa tells me. She starts to run her hands through my hair.

I give a wicked smirk. "Oh so someone does not like her new nickname, does she, you little raccoon you."

She gives a hard tug on my hair and her eyes are blazing, almost glowing. I let out a loud laugh.

"Continue to call me that name and I will not play with your hair anymore."

The smirk falls off my face and I pale slightly. "Totally sorry. I won't call you it anymore, I promise."

'Much' I can't help but think in my head.

Once Lexa finishes braiding my hair, she gives a final tug on her last braid. I lean back into her a bit and smile at her through the mirror. She returns it with an equally soft look.

" _Mochof Leksa."_

" _Pro Kara."_

"Do you want me to braid your hair for you?" I ask switching back to English.

She gives a shake of her head. "I need to quickly bathe. I came in late last night and just wanted to sleep. You need to get dressed for the day."

She gives the top of my head a kiss and then walks to her bathroom. I watch her leave before she enters the bathroom she stops and turns to look at me.

"Make sure to wear your armor but keep your hood down," she tells me with a wicked look before entering her washroom and closing the door.

Desire spreads through my veins like fire. The temptation to join her in the bath makes me stand up before I realize that I do need to get dressed in my armor and because the whole left arm takes like 20 minutes to strap on I need to hurry.

"Lexa that wasn't nice!" I yell out before I walk to the door. I can head her laughter through the door. I swear she is gonna be the death of me one day.

* * *

I kept my hood down when I was standing behind Clarke no matter how much I want it up. I made sure to stay silent and tried to appear as imposing as possible.

When the Queen was brought in, I felt the death rolling off of her. It was potent and seemed to pour off of her in a black cloud. It curled around her body and her feet. I knew if anyone had the chance to become Wanheda and survive, it would be her. Death was ingrained in her being. I could feel the evil of her soul.

I could feel the sharp burn in my eyes and everything became sharper.

 **So much death! So many innocents!**

Many of the voices were becoming more violent and the need for blood was increasing. I released a quiet snarl. Clarke turned and gave me a sharp look. I continued to stare at the queen noticing when she walked past she stared me in the eyes.

I bared my teeth at her and growled. My brain felt like it was splitting in two. The darker part of me wanted to join her so she would allow me to kill, while the other part was screaming she was too dangerous to allow to live and needed to be eliminated.

The smile she gave me was almost the embodiment of evil and sin. The sick satisfaction that went down my smile at that look made me feel sick and disgusted with myself. I quickly threw my hood up but I knew that my eyes would glow in the darkness of the hood.

"Queen Nia has confessed to the destruction of Mount Whether resulting in the death of 49 members of Skaikru. Wanheda what say you?" Titus asked. I knew he was supposed to ask Clarke and not me.

" _Jus drien Jus daun_ ," I harshly growl out. The clenching of my fist causing the metal to echo through the room.

"Ambassador. What say you?" Titus then asked Clarke. He seemed pleased with the answer that I gave him.

"Skaikru demand justice," Clarke tells him.

" _Ice Nation does not answer to this girl,"_ The ice queen hissed out at Clarke. I took a threatening step forward but Clarke grabbed my hand before I could pass her side.

" _Silence!"_ Titus tells her.

"The punishment for your crime is death."

The satisfaction and also the disappointment hit me equally, making me disappointed in myself. I shouldn't feel disappointment from this. She killed 49 of the people from the Ark, hundreds of her people, and killed Costia. Taking something precious from Lexa.

"I need no defense. She does. Today is judgment day. I call for a vote of no confidence," Queen Nia tells the room.

The disappointment disappears and white-hot furry spreads through my body. I barely hear what Titus tells the guards. I remember my promise to Lexa. I grit my teeth and bite down hard onto my cheek. I feel the bloody iron taste enter my mouth. It isn't enough to calm me so I dig the sharp points of my gauntlet into my leg. The pain helps me control myself.

"If you take me unfit to command. Issue the challenge and let's get on with it."

I bring myself back to the present hearing Lexa's voice.

"Very well. You are challenged."

"And I accept your challenge."

"Queen Nia of Azgeda, who do you choose to be your champion?" Titus asks her.

"My son, Roan. Prince of Azgeda." The smirk that she gives infuriates me.

"Heda who will fight for you."

Lexa turns and slowly strolls back her throne before sitting down once more. The look in her eyes is one that will always get my blood pumping. The look of confidence and strength. It makes me puff out my chest in pride.

" _I'm the Commander. No one fights for me."_

I feel the need to laugh. It starts to bubble its way up and try to stop up but it overpowers me and the hint of my insanity shows itself.

The laugh I let out is vicious and sounds unhinged. The voices in my head are chanting death. The thought of Lexa dying doesn't even enter my mind. I know she will win but on the small chance she doesn't I know that I will kill all involved. Starting with the Ice Queen herself.

"Oh, so much death. I can't wait!" I whisper but because the room has become silent everyone heard it. Some seemed shocked at the sound of my voice because unlike how it usually sounds, right now it sounds as though more than one person talking at the same time. The double timbre causing many to shake slightly.

I quickly turn and march from the room, laughing as I leave.

* * *

I stalk the halls and after a couple hours, I find myself in front of Clarke's room. The insanity has slipped away and I can think without the need to snap a neck.

I find Clarke pacing in her room. "What troubles you?" I ask.

Clarke didn't seem to hear me enter the room and jumped when I spoke to her. A hand goes to her chest. "Jesus! You scared me Kara."

I nod my head. "What troubles you Clarke?" I ask again.

She shakes her head. "It is nothing. I have a meeting with the Queen soon."

"Why?"

She looks down at the bottle she has in her hand. She looks around the room before walking into my space and whispers into my ear. "I want to kill her."

"Let me," I whisper back.

"I can't let you do that for me."

"I am not doing it for you. I know that Lexa will win but she needs to die. Give me it, tell what I need to do and I shall do it for you."

She steps back and begins to pace again. Stopping every couple of minutes to give me a look before continuing. She walks back in front of me and hands me the bottle. The smile I give is blood thirsty and I feel the slight burn. Clarke gets a slight fearful look to her face before nodding her head at me.

* * *

The Queen was eating when I entered. I quickly looked to the knife that was held firmly in her hand before noticing the girl standing in the middle of the room next to the wall.

"To what do I owe the pleasure Wanheda?" She asks me.

I breathe in and can smell the stench of death that is permeating throughout the room.

"Do you know? That you, my Queen absolutely reek of death? It leaves this darkness across your soul and I can see it leaking into the air. It is most fascinating. You might be one of the only ones that can truly gain the power of Wanheda without losing yourself to the insanity that follows."

I begin to stalk closer to the head of the table and stop only a couple feet away from her. She seems to be looking for something in my eyes. I know that they are blood red with the blue barely visible. She smiles at me. "That is most fascinating. I did not know. Is there anything else you would wish to discuss with me?"

I tilt my head. "What if I told you that Clarke is willing to change her vote? What would you say and what assurances would you give to my people?"

"I would say that she is now thinking like the leader of her people. Skaikru of course would be safe," she tells me before slamming the end of the knife into the table. My eyes quickly focus to it, taking into account of how sharp it is.

"Interesting. What about me? I know you were looking for me before your son grabbed me."

"My quarrel is with Lexa, not you. Once she is gone, I won't need the power of Wanheda. Though I am interested to hear you agreeing with Clarke and coming to me. I thought you were close to the Commander."

"Life is boring, and death is fun. She lets me have death when I please," That statement makes my stomach turn and fuels the fire in my belly. To pretend to be using Lexa feels so wrong.

"Clarke has already agreed. She says she won't seek vengeance for Mount Whether as long as Lexa is gone. She is more concerned for the living."

I grab the knife from the table and quickly cut across my palm, the cut was deep and blood was dropping from my hand to the floor. The queen seemed interested in what I was doing.

" _We bind ourselves in blood."_

I slam the dagger back into the table after whipping it off on my arm. I make a note to make sure that I cleaned my arm thoroughly to make sure no lingering poison remained.

"I see you learned our oath."

"Do you accept Queen Nia?"

The queen stands, grabs the dagger, and right as she is about to cut her own palm, I am slammed from behind before I am spun onto my back from the girl behind me onto the table. She smells where I had whipped the blood from earlier.

" _Poison."_

"We could have been allies Kara, instead I declare you and your people enemies of Azgeda."

"I figured it was appropriate considering how much of a snake you are Nia."

Queen Nia backhands me. "Ontari give me your hand."

I keep myself still as she cuts the girls hand, trying to blink away the blurry vision.

"I am letting you live, for now at least. You will send a message to Lexa, that I have my own nightblood."

With those final words she holds the girls hand over my face.

 **DON'T LET THAT TOUCH YOU! YOU AREN'T READY!**

I don't have time to tell her stop, when I open my mouth I get a taste of the black blood and then the instant it touches my skin begins to burn. I feel it pour into my eyes, the claw marks, my nose, and even more in my mouth. I feel it run down my throat feeling like battery acid. I screamed.

Before I shut my eyes from the pain I saw the Queen's eyes widen in panic. I gripped the table and started to scream louder. The double timbre was back. I gripped the table and heard the crack and felt the splinter of wood. I rolled off the table and started to claw at my face, continuing to scream in agony. I heard the door open and guards began to flood into the room.

 **STE YUJ!**

My body was on fire. I could feel each thump of my heart. Each pound of it sent shockwaves of agony through my body. It felt like I had been poisoned or that someone had set me on fire. I felt myself be lifted up but could do nothing but scream. The slightest touch sent waves of agony through me and that was the last straw and my mind went black.

* * *

 _*POV CHANGE (Lexa)*_

I had not been able to find Kara after she had left the throne room. I was deeply concerned especially as she had agreed to not draw attention to herself. My guards told me that she was stalking the halls of the tower. When asked why they used that word, the reply was that they were reminded of a cat stalking its prey, silent steps but you could feel and see the power behind each move.

The nightbloods had just left the room and I was talking to Clarke. She was trying to convince me not to fight. That I would be killed by Roan when a scream tore through the room and did not stop.

I felt my heart stop because I knew that scream. It was a scream of utter agony and it was coming from Kara.

"FIND HER!" I ordered the guards in the room. I took off at a sprint hearing Clarke right behind. I took many turns before finding the room the screams were coming from. When I entered my heart stopped.

The Queen was standing over Kara's body as she convulsed on the floor, along with another woman to her side. I looked down at Kara's face and saw that she was covered in black blood.

I look back up at the queen and she actually looked scared.

"LOCK THEM BOTH IN CELLS TILL THE CHALLENGE!" I yell at the guards.

I move quickly and kneel next to Kara trying to get her to open her eyes and stop screaming. Then something worse happens. I watch as the wounds on her face split open and blood begins to poor out and then she is scratching at her face. Her gauntlet causes more scratches across her face. I press her hands down to stop her.

When that doesn't work I pick her up and when I touch actual skin I realize her skin feels like it is on fire. I almost dropped her from the shock of the heat, she lets loose one more ear bursting scream that seemed to be more than one person before falling still.

I sprint out of the room trying to find Clarke.

"Clarke where are you?!"

I hear the slap of feet on the stone floor and then Clarke appears. She is red and breathing heavy. When she sees who I am carrying her face pales.

"Help me!" I plead. I feel my shirt and armor becoming wet from the blood covering her.

"We need a place to set her down so I can see what happened."

I gave a quick nod of my head before running down the hallway once more. Turning left then right, then left again before kicking open the door to my room and placing Kara gently on my bed.

Blood continues to pour from her nose, her mouth, ears, and then I realize that blood is also starting to appear on different parts of her body and becoming a darker shade of red.

I start tearing at the straps of her armor, quickly taking it off and then ripping her shirt off as well. A small part of my brain worries that she will be upset because I know that was her favorite shirt.

With the shirt gone I was able to look at her. I feel Clarke push me out of the way and I stumble off the side of the bed from the shock of what I just witnessed.

The wounds that were almost healed looked to have reopened before closing and turning into thick pink scar tissue. The thing that scared me was that the area around her heart was turning black. The veins were sticking out and I was able to see how part of the blue was fading into black

"Lexa what is this?" Clarke sounds just as terrified as me.

"I… I don't know…I have never seen anything like that." I manage to say.

"Guards! Fetch Titus!"

One of the guards at the door nods his head before running to find him.

Kara's breathing is very heavy as though she is struggling for every breath. My heart feels like it is about to break into pieces and I know this time I would not survive her being gone. I will not survive her loss like I did with Costia.

 **Patience my young Commander. All shall soon be revealed.**

I stop and my breath hitches. Clarke turns and looks at me.

"Lexa? Are you ok?"

That voice. The voice I had only heard once. What did she mean.

'Please. What do you mean? I can't lose her. Please tell me'

I don't hear the first commanders voice after that, nor do I hear any of the others.

I start pacing the room once more.

I hear a gasp and turn and look at the bed. Kara's eyes are wide open but where the white used to be, they are black and her pupils are blood red and then she leans over the bed and vomits what looks to be red blood with black mixed in. Before falling back and closing her eyes once more.

Titus enters the room after she does this. He stops and his eyes go wide and he rushes forward and places his hand against her forehead. He yanks his hand back with a hiss. He looks down and then sees the black veins that had spread to her whole upper body and starting to spread up her neck and down her arms.

"When did this start?" He asks.

"The screams earlier, were from Wanheda Titus. What is happening?" I can almost hear the pleading in my voice as I try to keep myself calm.

He looks at Clarke. "Ambassador you need to leave. This is not for your ears."

"Clarke leave us."

"But Lexa…"

"You heard him Clarke. Leave the room."

Clarke gave a huff and stopped trying to clean off Kara and left the room, giving one last glare at Titus before leaving.

"Now tell me what this is Titus."

"When the first Wanheda was born they were not born with nightblood. They were born with red like everyone else. There were signs as a small youngon that would point to that person being the new Wanheda, but these signs were harder to spot. If the child was calm, then no signs would surface. The eyes are the window to the soul Heda."

"What do you mean born? I thought the power of Wanheda came from killing many. Not something born."

"Has Kara ever talked about the voices she hears or for how long she has heard them?"

"She told me that she has always heard them. She has mentioned a time or two on how only she could possibly be Wanheda."

"As a fleimkepa my job is to know all there is about the warriors spirit, specifically to help guide the Commanders and if Wanheda ever arrived that person as well. Kara is the new Wanheda. I have not discussed this with her yet because I did not think this would happen."

"Titus you are speaking in circles. Speak true."

"The reason I did not approach her about this is because it has only reached this stage once before. When nightblood is introduced to the Wanheda they shall change. They will become the true Commander of Death. She is gaining what it means to Wanheda. She will get the marks and will gain the blood. If she survives this process and wakes, you Heda shall have the only other person that will ever be equal to you. Be proud Heda that your chosen is receiving such an honor."

I feel my breath catch and my heart stop. "What are you talking about?"

"She will live, it shall be over soon. I know what she is to you Heda and I do not like it for love is weakness but we shall discuss that at a later date." With those parting words, Titus quickly left the room.

I hear the sound of the horn and know that I might not get to say goodbye to Kara. I know that I need to go and fight at the challenge. I kneel at her side and push the hair out of her face and place a kiss on her lips. I can taste the salt from my tears and the iron of the blood still on her face. Her lips felt like they were on fire. The love I have for her burns strongly and with a passion.

"I shall return to you, be it in body or spirit. This is goodbye for now, ai hodness," I placed one more kiss to her lips and then one on her forehead before leaving the room. Grateful I was already in my armor.

 _*POV CHANGE (Kara)*_

I opened my eyes and I was standing in a long hallway. It looked one of the hallways from when the Ark. I begin to slowly walk down the hallway and my suspicions were confirmed when I passed by a window and see Earth.

I panic. I start running down the halls.

"LEXA?!"

I start throwing open different doors and I can't find anyone.

I continue to scream Lexa's name as I run down different halls till I make it to the skybox.

When I enter the massive prison, I can hear someone banging on the walls and roars of anger. I quickly make my way up and into the solitary cells locations. I finally stop at the front of my old cell. I can hear someone trying to open the cell and when my hand touches the handle all the noise stops. I can hear a high-pitched ringing sound becoming louder along with the whispers of voices.

I turn the handle slowly and when I finally open the door I see that I am standing on the other side.

"What the fuck is going on?" I ask as I slowly back away. Kara 2.0 matches me step for step till I am backed up against the wall.

I then notice that she is slightly different from me. Everything down to the claw marks on her face to the shaved sides, and tattoos are the same except the eyes. Her left eye has normal whites but instead of blue my eyes are red, like the color or fresh spilled blood. Her right eye where it is white on the left it is now black with the red taking over the eye with no black pupil. Just red.

"Who are you?" I manage to choke out.

Kara 2.0 just tilts her hand to the side and gives me a smile that has the black blood covering her teeth that then begins to drip from her mouth.

"I am you. Well, I will be. I am Death child. Well, the first and only Commander of Death so far."

I feel my whole-body freeze in terror and feel myself start to silently cry.

"I died? I can't die. I didn't say goodbye. I need to say goodbye! TAKE ME BACK!"

I grab the sides of her armor and start to shake her.

"SEND ME BACK!"

The being grabs my hands and violently slams onto the metal wall behind me.

"You aren't dead. Now quiet. Something important is happening and it will change you not for the worse but for the better. I can't tell you what is coming but I can give you a warning. You will be in a lot of pain but you must stay strong and remember that she will come. Do not tell them anything for if you do you shall die and your people shall die with you. Do you understand?" Kara 2.0's eyes are staring into my soul trying to see if I truly understand the importance of what she said.

"You promise she will come for me?" I ask hesitantly.

"Sha Wanheda."

"I will stay strong."

Then Kara 2.0 stuck her mouth to mine and she was forcing something down my throat. I tried to throw her off but more of the liquid was shoved down my throat. I started to choke and I couldn't get any air into my lungs. I started losing the will to fight. It was becoming harder and harder to move any part of my body. My vision was starting to darken before going black.

* * *

She tells me to stay strong and then fucking kills me. Death is a fucking asshole.

 **Open your eyes**

'No fuck you. Tell me to stay strong and then fucking kill me. Fuck off'

 **Open you eyes. Now.**

'No fuck you'

 **OPEN YOUR EYES.**

I open my eyes and I am greeted with light from the sun. My body surprisingly feels strong. I search the room and realize that I am in Lexa's bed. I start to panic. I just out of bed and run to the door and throw it open.

I turn and see the guards. They looked shocked to see me and their faces whitened.

"Wanheda," they quickly bow their heads.

"So not the time. Where is Heda?"

"She is at the challenge, Wanheda," the guard is still bowing to me.

"Where is the challenge?"

"In the square."

With that, I take off at a run.

"Wanheda your armor!" The guard yells after me. I don't stop and turn around and just continue running.

I am quickly down to the ground floor and start running to the square. When I make it out the streets I look around and realize that a large crowd is shouting Heda further ahead of me. I quickly take off following the sound.

I make it to the edge of the crowd and start forcing my way through them. I didn't care about the force I used. When I entered the circle Lexa had just helped Roan off the ground. I looked over where I could feel death and saw that the queen was dead. The cloud of darkness that was around here was gone. I hope she finds no peace in the after life.

I walk further into the circle and notice that the square has gone quiet and everyone is looking at me. I look down and realize that you cannot see any visible flash of skin on me. I am covered in blood that is both red and black and I only have my bindings covering my chest. I don't like them looking at me.

I look back over to Lexa who is still standing next to Roan. I tried to play off that I was totally ok that I looked like I had been murdered. I scratched my face.

"Heda," I saw with a slight bow of my head.

"I guess I will be happy that you didn't die and will say Congratulations King Roan. Though if you had managed to kill Lexa I would have razed your nation to the ground," with those amazing parting words I slowly turn around and walk away. The citizens started to whisper when I was passing them. Many of the whispers talking about my eyes.

I totally ignored them and the burning I could feel at the back of my head from Lexa's gaze.

When I got back to Lexa's room I stopped and glared at both the guards. They quickly bowed their heads once more. "Wanheda."

I counted to ten. "You didn't tell me before I left that I looked like I was murdered."

They quickly glanced at each other. "We tried to tell you about your armor but you did not stop. We apologize and will try harder next time."

"Guys you don't understand. Everyone in the square literally stopped and stared. They were shouting Heda and I walked into the middle and like everyone stopped…"

"Everyone," I hissed out.

"I am gonna take a bath and clean this whole mess off me. If Lexa comes back tell her I am using her bath. I don't even care at this point."

They gave each other questioning glances before giving slight nods. "Sha, Wanheda."

I closed the door behind and had to practically cut the bindings and my pants from my body, both feeling like they had fused to my skin. I turned to the water in the tub on but only filled it half way.

I was quick to try and get all the blood off me. When I was cleaning my face off I realized that my hands were touching scar tissue. I jumped out the tub and when I looked at my face in the mirror. The four massive claw marks to my face had healed leaving behind fresh pink scar tissue. I slowly ran my fingers down them and was amazed that there was no pain.

I started poking at where the massive bite mark on my shoulder was and met the same thing. I was totally ok with this.

I went back to the tub and continued getting rid of all the blood. I had to repeatedly empty the tub and then refill it. When I was finally cleaned of all the blood, I refilled the tub and made it hot and filled it with the oils that Lexa used the other night. I turned the water off when the tub was filled.

I opened the bathroom door a crack and checked the room and saw that Lexa had just walked into the room and was wearing her nightgown. She softly padded over to the balcony and looked out over the city.

I turned and threw my night shirt on and quietly walked to Lexa and wrapped my arms around her stomach and placed my head on her shoulder.

"We should have stayed in bed this morning little raccoon," I whisper against her neck before placing a soft kiss on her neck.

She leaned further into me. "We should have my little warrior."

I let out a huff. "Seriously Lexa? I am taller than you."

"The day that I no longer find it amusing will be the day I stop calling you little warrior."

I growl playfully and start to nibble on the soft skin of her neck. She tilts her head to the side allowing me more room. I stop after a couple seconds and she lets out a sigh of disappointment.

"I am the second true Wanheda. I met the first. That was weird experience let me tell you. She looked exactly like me, down to the scars and everything. When I accepted she forced a bunch of liquid down my throat. I thought I drowned."

I let out a shiver remembering the experience. "I am glad it happened, even though when the blood touched my skin it felt like fire. Very painful. Becoming the Commander didn't hurt right?"

She shook her head. "No it did not. I mean if I had been injured in the fighting maybe? But I was to great of a nightblood to be hurt."

She puffed her chest out in pride. I smiled into her neck. "Of course you were little raccoon."

I pull back and grab her hand and pull her with me. "Come. I want to relax with you. It is my turn to take care of you."

She lets me pull her into the bathroom. I stop in front of the tub and see that a lot of heavy steam is still rising of the water. I place my hands on her cheeks and stare into her green eyes. Her eyes are shinning with love and something along the lines of relief. My chest swelled with love and I could feel reaching all the way into the darkest parts of mind and soul. The voices were quiet, I could hear no whispers, and even they were in a sense of peace.

I press my head harder into hers. Her eyes still showing her love, start to fill with worry.

"You are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. I will fight to the end of the earth for you. I will kill whoever threatens you. No harm shall come to you while I still breathe. I would gladly give you everything that I am and everything that I will ever be. I have lived in the fog for years and because of you, I finally can see. You are like the sun who burned so bright that it made the fog vanish by simply appearing. _Ai hod yu in._ "

Then I kissed her. Softly pressing my lips to hers. Keeping it gentle and holding her head in such a way that I had all the control. It made the darker part of me hum in satisfaction. I lean back after a few more soft kisses and can see the disappointment on Lexa's face when I stop. I don't try to hid the smirk.

Her expression changes from disappointment to love. Her whole face looks younger and her eyes are bright and alive, while still looking softly at me. I feel one hand placed over my heart and the other cups my cheek. I nuzzle my head slightly into it.

"Oh ai hodness. I can only wonder what my life would have become if I did not have you here. My life is full once more. _Ai hod yu in._ "

She then leaned forward and placed a soft kiss to my lips before pulling back.

I make a split second decision that I know that I will in no way ever regret. I grab Lexa's hand and pull away from the tub, leaving the bathroom and seat her on the bed with me standing in front of her. My blood is like fire through my veins and I feel hotter than I did a minute ago. Instead of a burning sension in my eyes, it feels like they become colder.

Lexa is looking up at me with wonder in her eyes. I reach both hands up and slip the sides of her gown off her shoulders, exposing herself to me. I let out a whimper at the beautiful sight before me. My fingers dance across her chest, her ribs, before running over one of the many scars I see. She shivers and when I look into her eyes her pupils are blown wide.

She leans back and begins to crawl further into the bed letting the nightgown come completely off. She sits in the middle just looking at me breathing heavy. I feel like someone froze me solid before a new surge of fire in my veins blazed through my body. I launch myself at her.

The night becomes one that I will remember till my last breath. Neither of us could get enough. It became animalistic, something that had been building for months, the need to touch wasn't enough, the need to run my tongue over her wasn't enough, much of the night till the early morning was spent in frantic moments till it became tender and sweet. I pity the guards because neither of us were quiet, especially in the beginning.

* * *

I do not write sex scenes more on the basis I have no idea how to write something like that. I am letting you know now that the next episode is not a good one for Kara. So this is me warning you.


	14. Hakeldama

Well here is another chapter. Some torture in this chapter because life has been going too well for Kara and I can be a terrible person. Also, my life is getting stressful so stuff like chapter comes out. Apologize to those that find the last part of it weird. It kind of just happened when I was writing and I just went with it. Also getting dangerously close to Lexa's death on the show and I am feeling more spiteful because I am still pissed off as fuck about her death.

Fucking got carried away and started to watch the rest of the show. I remember why I hate Titus so much. Fucking asshole. That is the 3rd time I have watched that episode and I still cry like a baby over it.

If you put in infinity, life, death, and rebirth the first picture should be a tree surrounded by Celtic knots. That is what her tattoo is. Then at the base of her neck is the ouroboros, it looks like the one from full metal except it doesn't have the symbol in the center of it.

I own nothing except Kara!

* * *

Chapter Twelve

I didn't open my eyes at first and just enjoyed the feeling buzzing under my skin and the way when I shifted I felt deliciously sore. I cracked an eye open and could the tattoos on Lexa's back. I started to slowly drag my fingers up and down her back, enjoying the slight twitches of her muscles.

I shifted a little and then moved her hair to the side so that I could see her face. She looked so peaceful, none of the usual hard lines that are always present. I moved a little closer to where I was just next to her face and if I moved forward only a little then I could easily kiss her.

I continued to run my hand up and down her back while watching her sleep.

 **You are being creepy.**

'Oh please do shut up. Now is not the time for commentary. Isn't your job as the first Wanheda to give helpful advice? Because seriously all you say is funny shit, be super sarcastic, or ask for popcorn.'

 **If you need helpful advice I will give you some but you haven't had the need for any so far. It hasn't been like you have been in serious enough trouble anyway.**

I let out a loud groan and start hitting my head on the mattress.

'This just proves my point!'

"What are you doing my little warrior?" Lexa's voice was gravely from lack of water and just waking up.

I stopped hitting my head and slowly looked over where one of Lexa's eyes were cracked open and it was painfully obvious it was difficult for her.

I shuffled back closer and placed my face next to hers once more. "Did you know the original Wanheda is a sarcastic asshole?"

The eye narrowed at me and I could see the anger and irritation. "Kara. I swear. This is the second time you have woken me up for nothing. Will this be a trend?"

I don't respond right away, trying to keep myself from laughing. "What if I said yes?"

The fire burns brighter and then I feel her feet push against me and then I find myself on the floor, the stone, cold on my naked form. I was too stunned to move and just stared at the ceiling in complete shock.

"Did you just kick me out of bed?"

"Shof op."

I quickly crawl over the edge of the bed and jump straight on Lexa forcing all of my weight on top of her. I feel the growl she released, and I let out a chuckle. I move off and then climb under the furs and quickly kiss the side of her neck before laying on my back and pulling her partially on top of me.

"Go back to sleep ai hodness."

She let out a huff into my neck before her breathing evened out once more. I closed my eyes and followed her back to sleep.

* * *

I woke when I felt Lexa leave the warmth of the furs and felt the rush of desire seeing her naked form. I quickly rush forward and grab her hand before yanking her back.

She falls back onto the bed and I quickly straddle her. I lean in and slam my lips into hers. I fight for dominance with her and start nibbling on her lips before giving a harsh nip tasting some blood. I freeze for a fraction of a second but quickly continue what I was doing when no pain hit. I soothe the bite with my tongue. Lexa releases a moan that is almost sinful.

I slowly start to caress the side of her face before my hand starts to wander its way down before finding what I really wanted.

It quickly gets out of control, both of us losing any restraint and it becomes rough hands, sharp bites, and soothing tongues. Followed soon by bliss.

* * *

I had already used the binding on my chest and was about to put my shirt on when I stopped and noticed something on my side it looks like black ink and then I remember hearing somewhere that I was going to be marked and figured that must be what this is.

I turn and my eyes widen when I finally see what is on my back. Spanning from a little below my neck to down to the base of my spine is a giant tree. Surrounding the tree is what looks to be different types of knots. It looked something from a book on Celtic symbolism I had read when I was a really small child. I barely remember it but know it had something to do with life and death. I moved all my hair over my shoulder to get a better look when I noticed something on the back of my neck. It was red in color and looked almost like a dragon eating its own tail. Well isn't that just nifty.

I quickly throw on my shirt. Then work through the calming process of strapping my armor into place. I reach and throw my cloak over my shoulder and snap it on. I strap both daggers onto my thigs before reaching for my swords when someone smacks my hand.

I tensed before relaxing quickly, looking over I see Lexa standing there with something wrapped in cloth in her hands.

She looks a little sheepish and nervous. I give her a small smile. "What do you have there raccoon?"

Her eyes flash for a second before rolling her eyes. I smirk at her reaction.

"Open them, Kara."

I grab the cloth wrapped packages and was not prepared for the weight. I place them on the table next to me. I slowly push the cloth out of the way and then see two scabbards. Both are extremely well crafted and it made my mouth water.

"What is this Lexa?"

"You are the Commander of Death Kara. You are Wanheda. When I won my conclave I was gifted with two daggers from Anya. I always carry one with me."

I notice how she looks down and gently runs her thumb over the wood of the handle. Then it hits me. The dagger she gifted me all that time ago. The one I have kept with me and took great care of was the twin dagger of hers. I knew that they looked similar but not that they were twins. The love I felt for Lexa deepened and I could feel it crash into my body like the gentle waves of the ocean.

I grab her and kiss her gently. _"Ai hod yu in."_

She gives me a blinding smile and nudges me back to the swords. I turn and grab the one that has the black scabbard. I notice that just like the last sword it has no guard. The grip of this one is blood red. I grab the handle and I can feel how soft the leather is. I slowly remove the sword and gasp. The metal used is black and it must have been the same man who made my armor. Inlaid into the metal going down the middle were 5 of the remaining claws from the tiger. I then knew where the other 5 were. The metal was almost void black and engraved into the steel were stars that were somehow red.

I slowly returned it back into its scabbard and attached it to my right hip, before picking up the scabbard that was completely white. The grip of this sword was black and when I pulled the sword out while the normal color of steel and also had the last claws in the center. This sword had a similar pattern to my dagger from Lexa and I loved it. I slowly placed it back in its sheath and then tied it my left hip.

The last thing I did was attach the war skirt and then I knew I was ready. I stood in front of the mirror and then I noticed something off with my eyes. I thought when I heard the people of Polis talking about red eyes it was the whites that had turned red again but no. My eyes were now officially red. The color of blood. Well, that is certainly interesting and kind of funny because my hair and eye color are the same. Cool.

After a couple minutes of checking myself out in the mirror, I hear Lexa chuckle. I feel myself blush. _"Shof op Leksa."_

Lexa just gains a wicked smirk on her face. Apparently, while I was checking myself out in the mirror she had finished getting ready. "I guess you are happy with how you look?"

"Leksa the reason I love checking myself out is that everything I have on me you gave me and had specially made."

I adjust the armor a little bit. "Also I am hot as hell!" I tell her with a wink.

I take a step closer and grab her hands in mine. "I don't think you understand how much I love everything you have ever gifted me. I feel kind of bad I haven't had anything made for you. I will change that when we get back home after this trip," I say with conviction.

I release her hands and place my hands on her hips and pulling her flush against me, placing my forehead against hers.

Lexa's eyes shine and I feel her slightly rough hand cup my cheek. I lean a little into it but keep my head on hers.

"How did I get so lucky, my little warrior? You make me feel whole. I never thought I would ever feel anything remotely the same way I did when I had Costia. I don't know what would happen if I lost you. I need you to promise me you will be careful and not put yourself in unnecessary harm?" Her eyes are pleading, almost desperate.

I feel guilt rush through my body but make sure I don't give away that I know something is going to happen soon.

"I promise little raccoon," I then gently press my lips to hers. I feel her relax into the kiss and I relish the feeling of being complete.

* * *

On the ride back to Arkadia I let Clarke and Lexa talk figuring that they should probably attempt to work out whatever lingering issues that they have with each other. Also because I was feeling weird.

This sense of death and despair was increasing the farther away from the capital and the closer to our destination we became. I didn't like it. I had thought since I became the true Wanheda that my breaks in my mind would disappear but it appears they haven't. I could feel the need for blood increase.

I wanted to rip apart the thing that was causing me to feel this way. My whole body started to hum and feel hotter, while my eyes felt cold. Then I felt it. A wave of death rolled over me and I my eyes roll into the back of my head slightly.

"Heda!" One of the men scream.

When the horse walks over the ridge, I see it. The peacekeeping force meant to protect Arkadia from Azgeda threats was dead. All slaughtered. I could hear the buzzing in my ears and the voices were roaring in anger.

 **It is starting.**

'What is starting?'

 **War.**

I quickly jump off my horse and follow Clarke and Lexa. A couple of the guards head further into the field of death.

The need to fall under the wave of despair that hits me is strong and I trip slightly. I ignore everyone around me and can only see the blood that has soaked into the earth and know that this place will never recover from the death that has made its home here.

" _Heda. Come quickly!"_

We quickly follow and when we reach the edge of the tent I see Indra on the ground leaning against an old log.

"Indra!" I hear Lexa cry.

Clarke rushes forward and moves her armor to the side and I see the bullet wound gush blood.

"Stay away, you are one of them," Indra tells her.

"I need bandages."

"Let her help you," Lexa pleades.

"What happened here?" Lexa asks after Clarke presses the cloth to the wound.

"They attacked while we slept. Our warriors watched to the North looking for Azgeda. They killed our archers first, our infantry couldn't get close. Then they the executed the wounded."

Clarke seems to go into shock. "The summit was two days ago. How could Kane do this?"

"It wasn't Kane. It was Pike," Indra whispers.

"How did you escape?" Lexa's voice is calm, which greatly worries me.

"Bellamy."

The grip I have on my swords increases. He was here. He helped do this. I felt my hate increase and though I still deeply cared for the man, I knew he would have to die to pay for his crimes.

"Bellamy was with them?" Clarke asks.

"Bellamy wanted to spare the wounded but the others didn't listen. He convinced Pike to let me live so that I could deliver a message."

"What is the message?" Lexa's voice now has the slight edge of steel to it.

"Skaikru rejects the Coalition. This is their land now. We either leave or we can die."

The growl that escapes me is inhuman. I feel the fire coursing through my veins. The voices are screaming their acceptance of this challenge.

Lexa looks as equally enraged as I am.

She quickly stands and commands those around us. "Send riders. I call upon the armies of the 12 clans. In a days time, we lay waste to Arkadia and everyone within its wall."

" _Sha Heda."_

"Wait I can fix this," Clarke tells us.

" _Hod em up!"_ Lexa tells the guards left. They quickly cross spears to stop Clarke.

"What are you doing?"

"I can't let you leave Clarke."

"So I'm a prisoner now? Just like that? What about Kara?"

I bare my teeth at her. "I didn't plan on leaving to talk to the enemy like you Clarke!" I hiss out.

"Yes, you are a prisoner,"

"At least let me talk to Kane."

I block out what Clarke is doing. I do see Lexa nod her head to something that was asked. I was still trying to wrap my head around the fact that it sounds like I am a prisoner. They weren't even my people. The only one I would claim as being part of my people is Clarke.

"Heda I am a prisoner? You know I want vengeance for these deaths right. I don't want to save them. I want them to burn!" I take several steps closer to her to where I am barely a foot away.

"So Heda. I ask again am I a prisoner?"

Lexa's eyes are as cold as ice when they look at me. I don't see the love in them. Her mask is perfect in this moment. "Till further notice yes. Yes, you are."

I bare my teeth and release a growl. "As you command, Heda."

My voice is filled with spite and I saw for a second I saw the regret flash across her eyes but it was too quick to tell.

"You may keep your weapons Kara. I just can't have you leave here."

"It is fine Heda. I understand." I bow my head and then walk over to Clarke and help her move Indra inside of the tent. I then walk over to the other side of the tent and sit down and just watch as Clarke helps Indra. Ignoring how my heart hurts and the whisper of the voices telling me to leave and not let ourselves be caged.

"Octavia?" I hear Clarke ask, which brings me back to myself and realize the time that has past.

"Where's Kane?"

"He sent me."

She leans down next to Indra. "Indra. Thank god."

Lexa walks closer to the group, almost like a cat gliding across the floor.

"How did this happen?"

"Kane lost the election to Pike. Everything is different," the look on her face is remorseful.

"Your people voted for this?" Lexa seems to become even angrier at that one statement.

"No, they wouldn't have. I don't believe this."

"You wouldn't know Clarke. You haven't been here."

"Listen to me. The grounder army is going to be here in less than a day. I need to speak to Bellamy," Clarke pleads.

I let loose a hiss and finally stand walking closer to Clarke. Octavia seems shocked to see me. Her eyes quickly flashing to my scars and then my eyes. I see a flash of fear before she turns back to Clarke.

"Bellamy was a part of this Clarke."

"He saved Indra's life."

"The only reason he saved it, is because he knew he had to have some reason to look in the mirror Clarke! He probably thought 'Oh well at least one is left so now I am not a truly terrible person.' At least Oct seems to understand that her brother is a fucking piece of shit! Accept it!" I scream at her.

"Kara, he is close to Pike. He trusts him. If we can get to him we can get to Pike."

"You can't just walk through the gates, Clarke. You have been living with the enemy. If it were me I would kill you on the spot," Lexa says.

"I can get her in."

"I won't let her just go to that camp with just you Oct. I'll come as well," I say taking a step closer to both Clarke and Octavia.

Lexa quickly turns to me, her eyes pleading for me to change my mind. I give a small shake to my head and I see her shoulders sag just a little.

"Let's go," Clarke tells us and walks toward the entrance of the tent.

I stalk over to Lexa and stop in front of her. My body burning with a sense of foreboding. I roughly grab the back of her head and slam my lips to hers. I heard the beginning of my name from her before my lips roughly attacked hers but I didn't stop. I pushed harder, deepening the kiss. My fingers card through her hair before I move my head back slightly stopping the kiss and push my face into the space between her neck and shoulders. The breath I take is deep and allows me to take in her full sent. I smell the dirt and pine, as well as the underlining smell of horse and the leather from her armor.

I push back from her causing her to stumble slightly. "I'm still slightly pissed at you but not as mad and I don't want to leave you angry."

The look on Lexa's face is kind of priceless. She lightly touches her lips and I can't help the smirk that spreads across my face. I was glad it was only really Indra left in the tent. The look she was giving me was not amused. Lexa still looked shocked but I see could the irritation start to build and knew it was time for me to leave.

I quickly unclip my cloak and battle skirt and toss them into the corner. When I reach the entrance I stop and look at Lexa. "I shall return Heda, I promise and I never break a promise."

While she only gives a small shake of her head, I can see that her eyes are screaming her love for me and that she will get me back for the stunt I just pulled. I feel a flash of pain in my heart at the thought that this might the last time I ever see her if this goes to shit. When I leave the tent I unhook my swords on my sides and then secure them to my back. Knowing it will be easier to have them there for later.

* * *

Octavia placed us in a secure room and then went to find Bellamy.

 **Remember to be strong.**

My eyes widen and then I feel the rush of sadness and the burn of tears.

"Clarke?" my voice sounds small.

Clarke turns to me and I see the worry build. "Kara, what's wrong? Are you ok?"

I look at the floor and release a heavy sigh. "I have a bad feeling about this. If this goes south on us I need you to promise that you leave as quickly as possible and tell Lexa. If this happens I need you tell her I am sorry. Do you promise me?"

Clarke looks scared. I haven't talked like this for months. I haven't sounded broken like this since the night of the mountain before we left together. "Kara do you know something?"

I give a shake of my head. "I don't but I don't like this. Just promise me ok? I need you to promise."

Her eyes are conflicted. "I promise Kara."

"Good," I tell her. I hear the door open and watch as Bellamy comes inside the room. I move in front of Clarke keeping myself between her and him.

His eyes narrow with anger when he sees me and I can't help but bare my teeth at him.

"Go easy on Octavia. I had to beg her to get us into camp," Clarke tries to joke with him.

"What are you both doing here?" he asks.

 **Don't let him near Clarke.**

I block out their conversation.

'What do you know?'

 **His eyes and hands betray him. He isn't as sly as he thinks he is.**

'What does that mean? Tell me!'

 **He placed his hand in his pocket and is fingering something inside. What do you think could fit in a pocket that size child? What did the guards in the skybox keep in that pocket?**

I look where his hand is and see what the voice was saying. I could see from the slight shift of his hand in his pocket the push of something circular in his hand as well as something 6 inches in length.

'Shock stick and cuffs?'

 **Yes, child. Do not let him near Clarke. If he gets close he will use her to keep us from killing him knowing we are the greater threat.** **Now listen.**

"Pike is the problem. This isn't who you are," Clarke tells him.

He shakes his head and I watch his grip tighten in his pocket. "Your wrong. This is who I have always been. And I let you, Octavia, and Kane convince me that we could trust these people who have shown over and over again who they are. And I won't let anyone else die for that mistake."

I move slightly closer to him forcing him to take a small step back, increasing the distance between him and Clarke, allowing myself to be the one he would have to attack first.

"Bellamy, I need you. And we don't have much time."

"You need me?"

"Yes, I do. I need the guy who would not have left me to pull that lever by myself."

"You left me. You left everyone."

"Bellamy…"

"Enough Clarke! You aren't in charge here and that's a good thing because people die when you are in charge. And you were willing to let a bomb drop on my sister and then you made a deal with Lexa who left us in Mount Whether to die and forced us to kill everyone who helped us. People who trusted me!" he shouts at her.

I feel my eyes flash. The need to get Clarke out of here is increasing.

"I'm sorry. I am sorry for leaving but I knew I could because they had you," Clarke begins to cry.

Bellamy tries to step around me but I grab his arm tightly. "You stay away from her."

"Kara it's fine. Let him go."

I look over and she still has tears in her eyes.

"No," I tell her and look back at Bellamy. I watch as his hand slowly comes out of his pocket gripping something. I look up into his eyes and I see that he has made his choice.

"Run Clarke!" I scream at her.

Bellamy rips his hand out of his pocket releasing the shock stick as he does and then hits me in the leg.

The shock rips through my body and I hear myself release a grunt, falling to my knees. I let go of his hand and then feel him grip my throat.

He releases it from my leg and points it at Clarke. "I am taking you both to Pike."

My body feels sluggish and I hate it. I slowly push through the feeling and grab my dagger. I slash at his calf causing him buckle a little but keeping his weight.

"You promised Clarke!" I yell before Bellamy hits me with the shock stick once more and holds it down digging it into the side of my neck. I use some of the last of my strength to slash up and hit his arm with my knife. He drops the shock stick to grab his arm. I slash his leg once more, deep in his thigh, before I fall all the way to the floor, landing next to Bellamy who is putting pressure on the knife wound to his thigh.

I feel someone lift me up. "We need to leave now Kara," I hear Clarke.

"Clarke, you promised," I manage to mumble out. My whole body is in pain. I feel like I am about to pass out from how long I was hit by the stick.

"Ya well, Lexa would kill me if I left you here."

She leans me against the wall and then locks the door, to at least keep Bellamy somewhat contained. I see Octavia down the hall keeping watch. She quickly runs to us and looks concerned when she sees me.

"What the hell happened?"

"Bellamy is a dick," I mumble out.

"We need to leave now. Help me with her," Clarke tells Octavia.

 **Remember to be strong.**

I feel a sudden rush of energy and stop leaning on the wall. I give my head a hard shake. "I will be fine for now. I don't need your help."

Clarke gives me a concerned look before seeing the look on my face and starts to follow Octavia who is already walking down the hall. I quickly follow when I hear someone yell from down the hall. I turn and look and see that Bellamy is out of the room looking pissed off as fuck. Shit.

I turn back and push Clarke into Octavia. "Take her and go!" I tell her before heading back towards Bellamy. I know I made the right decision when I see three guards come around the corner. Well fuck. This just went to shit. I sprint off down the hall yelling out a war cry and tackle Bellamy to the floor. I punch him hard in the face and then reach down while he is disoriented and grab the shock stick. I stand up, flick it open, and then grab my sword with my left hand.

I quickly stand up and rush the group of guards who are almost on me. I hit the first one hard in the neck with my shock stick sending him to the ground, moaning in pain. I swing my left arm out and slash another guard across his chest deeply. I turn to hit another guard with the stick when I felt something hard tackle me to the floor. I land heavily and feel all the air escape from my lungs.

I use the small amount of leverage I have and throw him off of me. I go to stand and only make it my knees when I feel fire rip through my body starting from two different areas before a third join. It becomes too much and then everything goes dark.

 _*POV CHANGE (Lexa)*_

I have been pacing my tent for hours now. I didn't feel right about letting Kara leave. I had a bad feeling about this. The look on her face before she left was the same look she gave me before I left at the mountain. The look of she will never see me again and it left me feeling sick.

I knew I shouldn't have forced the prisoner thing on her. I know how she feels about just the thought of being locked up and how it terrifies her.

It was a couple of hours after night fell when Indra spoke.

" _I don't know if we can beat their guns. Not unless we use them ourselves."_

" _Heda. She's back,"_ a guard tells me when he enters a tent. He only said she and my heart stops.

Clarke comes into the tent and I don't see Kara. She doesn't look me in the eye and continues to stare at the floor. My mouth goes dry and I feel sick.

"Where is Kara?" Indra asks.

"She…" she chokes on that word.

"WHERE IS KARA CLARKE!" I roar at her. Every sense of mine is in overdrive.

I grip the edge of the table to try and calm my racing heart. Trying not to think about the other time this has happened. The time when Costia was taken. I feel the burn of tears.

"Clarke…please," I whisper.

Clarke finally looks up at me with remorse and overwhelming sadness. "She was captured to allow us to escape. A patrol of guards turned down the hall we were in and Bellamy escaped the room we locked him in. She threw me into Octavia before charging down the hall. Octavia made me leave."

I let out a wail of despair and flip the table. Candles, papers, and maps went flying everywhere.

I feel my eyes burn with tears but I refuse to let them fall.

"Lexa," I look back at Clarke and notice she has tears running down her face.

"Lexa, I think she knew this was going to happen. We were in the room waiting for Bellamy and then all of a sudden she starts acting weird and she is making me promise her that I will leave her behind if something happens."

Clarke looks down at the floor and releases a shuddering breath. "She also made me promise to tell you that she is sorry that she broke her promise."

I feel my stomach drop and it feels like a part of me breaks. Then I feel all my feelings go to the back of my mind. I pull myself up straight.

"Well, Clarke it looks like you going has done nothing and has, in fact, made everything worse. I will kill every last person in Arkadia to get my vengeance for the deaths of 300 of my warriors and then I personally kill Pike and Bellamy for taking what is mine. There is nothing you can do that will stop me and you better pray that I get her back the same way she left or the only thing left of your people will be their ashes," I said with my straightest face.

I watch with almost sick satisfaction as all the color drains from Clarke's face.

"Lexa you can't do this. What about the people who didn't want this? The ones who wanted Kane to be chancellor. My mother would never have wanted this," Clarke pleades.

"I am the COMMANDER CLARKE! You will listen to Me! The only reason I didn't destroy Azgeda after Costia was because I knew I needed one of the largest nations to be backing me for the attack on the mountain. Well, The mountain is gone now. Kara made sure of that with the culling but we don't have them anymore."

 **You need to calm yourself.**

I feel everything stop. The anger that was slowly building up at dangerous levels balanced out and I could finally think clearly and when it did I realized I was hyperventilating.

"Lexa, please. I am begging you don't do this! You aren't thinking clearly. You can't kill everyone in Arkadia. If you do this, then they might hurt Kara!"

The thought of her gone tears through me. It makes me try and think of what would happen if she was taken from me for all time. The sudden flare of pain is so intense that I fall to my knees and a keening wail escapes. It occurs to me that I don't know what I would do with myself if she was taken from me. I feel a strong hand grip my shoulder and I press my hand to my mouth to keep the sounds to myself. The grip increases.

I look up and see the devastated blue eyes of Clarke. I slowly stand and block out the pain radiating in my chest.

"We will get Kara back. I need that radio from Octavia to talk to Kane. We will get her back and then all those responsible for the deaths of my warriors will be given the Death of 1000 cuts. If Kara is hurt though. If she is hurt. Well, those responsible will regret the day they were ever born, for what I plan to do with them. Well, let us just hope that she isn't hurt."

I slap Clarke's hand off my shoulder.

"Get me, Octavia. I need to discuss somethings with Kane and I need to know the layout of Arkadia. If it is possible I will take a small group of warriors and I will get my Wanheda back."

 _*POV CHANGE (Kara)*_

I came too slowly. I could tell I was strung up by my arms and someone had removed all of my armor, swords, daggers, boots, and even my shirt. Leaving me in only my pants and chest bindings. A chill went down my spine when I finally opened my eyes.

I was in a cell. I saw a guard posted at the entrance of the cell staring at me. The door to the cell was just a giant glass wall. I look around and see that I am chained up in the middle of the room. I am glad that they at least had the foresight to let my feet touch the ground or I probably would have suffocated.

I look back up at the guard and give him my best death glare and bare my teeth at him. I feel the fire spread through my body and my eyes feel cold. The guard whole body begins to scream fear and he even takes a small step back.

I start to giggle before I finally release a deranged laugh. Gasping for air I continue to laugh and only stop when I hear the airlock door open. I open my eyes not remembering when I shut them to see Bellamy who walks with a slight limp and Pike.

"How's the leg, Blake?" I ask him as sweetly as possible.

"Don't respond Son."

Pike walk up to me and stops to stare down at me.

"I remember hearing reports about your crime on the ark and thought how could a child do something like that. I am not surprised you integrated too well into the grounder force. I have heard you have gotten _very_ close to the Commander. Her name is Lexa isn't it?" With that question, he tilted his head.

I spit in his face. "YOU HAVE YOU NO RIGHT TO SPEAK HER NAME RIPA!"

The force of the slap throws me head violently to the side. From the taste of iron, I can only guess that he split my lip. Fingers dig into my chin and lift my face up.

"You have two options here Kara," He holds up one finger.

"One you can cooperate with me and tell me everything I want to know," He then lifts the second finger.

"Or you go for option two and it can hurt."

He let go of my chin but kept his face close to mine.

I narrowed my eyes at him and before he could react I threw my head forward and hit him straight in the face. I heard the sharp crack of the man's nose and his howl of pain. He fell back a couple of steps holding his nose.

My teeth were bared at the man and released a growl.

" _Ai laik no Natrona!"_ I hiss at them. **(A/N: So this should mean. I am no traitor. I don't know if you can use the word laik in this but I am hoping that the true meaning of it actually means am.)**

I watch as Pike's eye narrow in anger at me. He releases his nose and I can see that it is crooked from the hit.

Pike reaches into his pocket and pulls out a shock stick, flicking out his wrist, activating the thing. I feel my heart skip a beat and try to ignore the fear that is swirling through my body.

"I read somewhere that therapists would use shock therapy for their more deranged patients. I wonder if it actually worked."

With those parting words, he hit me in the stomach. I felt the electricity rip through my body. My body started to jerk with the need to get away. I clenched my teeth to keep from making a noise. After about 30 seconds he pulled it back.

I felt myself fall forward a bit, trying to suck in as much air as possible. Not even 10 seconds pass before he hits me with the thing again, holding it for what feels like forever.

When he releases it this time, my heart feels like it is having problems. Each beat I can feel through my whole chest but it almost seems to skip beats. I try to control my breathing.

"Now Kara. Don't you care about your people? If you give me the answers to what I am looking for we don't have to go through this whole song and dance. So what do you say? Do you feel like cooperating now?" He lifts my chin with the edge of the deactivate shock stick.

When I look into his eyes, I notice it is really hard to focus but I won't tell him shit.

" _Ai laik no Natrona,"_ I mumble out.

I feel something hard hit me in my stomach, leaving me gasping for air. I look up and feel a fist slam into my face, the force throwing my head to the side. I look back at Pike who has taken a step back. I see Bellamy standing next to him but his face is revealing nothing.

"My mother hit harder than you," I tell him with a bloody smile. I spit at his feet and then I realize how much prettier black is. I can't take my eyes off of it.

I hear heavy steps forward before another fist hits my face, followed by an uppercut. My vision starts to get fuzzy as I try to stay awake. My whole body thrumming from the pain and exhaustion.

I look up when I hear the zapping of electricity. Pike brings his arm back and then looks me in the eye.

"So I guess it's gonna be the hard way then," and with those final words, swings with all his might hitting me hard on my side. I hear the slight crack from the hit and then my whole body screaming at me.

I let out a grunt of pain and pull as hard as possible on the bindings keeping me up, trying to get away with all my might. I am slowly losing the fight to stay awake the longer he holds the baton to my body.

I close my eyes and imagine Lexa's smiling face. The way the area around her eyes crinkle in happiness when we are alone.

Pike finally removes the baton from my side but I don't open my eyes, keeping them closed and breathing in heavily. Ignoring how even a small intake of air is agony to my right left, realizing the crack I heard when he hit my side was not from the blow but because the mother fucker cracked one of my ribs.

Someone slaps me hard across the face. "Open your eyes now."

I keep them closed enjoying the way Lexa's eyes don't seem quite as hard when she looks at me when we are surrounded by others. Another powerful slap. "Open them now!"

I feel the cold and the fire rush through my body. I finally open my eyes and give him my best death glare. A look that promises only pain and death.

Pike's eyes widen and he involuntarily takes a step back before he looks disgusted. "I knew your mother before you killed her. We had known each other since we were small children. Did you know that? One night we went out drinking when you were around 5. It was at the end of the night before we left and I won't lie, we had probably drunk more than we should have," he tells me with a chuckle before his eyes go hard once more.

"She told me that her daughter, you Kara, had gotten mad at her over the fact you wanted to go to work with her instead of daycare and she wouldn't let you. Eventually, she got you to go to daycare and not throw a fit once there but something interesting happened during your little hissy fit. She swore that your eyes turned red for a couple seconds before returning to normal. She even asked me if she was going crazy. I, of course, told her that no, she wasn't going crazy. I even doubted it because I had never heard of such a thing before in all my years. I guess she was telling the truth."

"Why do your eyes do that Kara? How do you now bleed black? Will you at least tell me that?"

I start to giggle and then laugh a couple of seconds before stopping. _"Ai laik Wanheda."_

He slaps me once more across the face. I feel a brief flash of pain in my mouth and then taste the blood and realize I bit my cheek.

"Speak English Kara! You are from the Ark, and not one of the grounders!"

I let out a small chuckle. "Charles, I finally found myself here on the ground and when I am released from this I will kill you slowly."

I barely register the sound of electricity before I feel it running through my whole body, my back arches from the pain. He doesn't release the thing and continues to keep it pressed into my chest. I try to focus on something else, to try and not think of what is happening but it is too much. I start to smell burnt flesh from where he has the shock stick.

He finally stops.

Multiple muscles of my body continue to twitch and my heart is doing something funny. Almost as though it has forgotten how to properly pump blood through my body. I feel something warm slowly falling down my arms and know without even looking that I have shredded my wrists from how hard I was pulling on the cuffs. I release a quiet whimper when I feel a finger press into the burn from the shock stick.

"The grounders would be impressed with the strength you are showing. Your little Commander might even be as well. You might even see her sooner and in a better condition if you answer my questions. Now, how many warriors is the Commander sending?"

He starts to push harder into the wound. "Just one small number."

With that last word, he reaches back and slams his fist into my stomach. I feel bile start to rise and barely force it back down. I slowly look up and red meets brown. I don't say anything and continue to stare.

My muscles are burning from keeping my head up. I watch as Pike moves behind me and all I can see in front of me is Bellamy who looks kind of pale and slightly green from what he is watching. I bare my teeth at him before I let my head fall forward no longer having the strength to keep it up.

I feel rough fingers touch my back and I feel sick. The fingers feel wrong and every part of my body is screaming at me to get him to stop touching me. His fingers continue to trail over my back and then he pushes my braids to the side and I hear him let out a whistle. I jerk my body forward to try and get him to stop touching me.

"When did you get these? This one on the back of your neck is especially interesting."

I then feel his hand slowly trail up and touches the ivy on the right side of my head, following the flowing vines down the side of my neck, then up my arm before trailing off around my elbow. A shudder of revulsion spreads through my body.

My whole body stills when I feel cold steel start to lightly scrape across my back. The blade is sharp enough that I can feel tiny drops of blood form on my back. Then a heavyweight is leaning on my back and I see my dagger enter my field of vision.

The growl I release is low and inhuman.

"I see you recognize this. Funny thing is, is that Bellamy was telling me how the Commander has one that looks just like this. I wonder if it is just as sharp as this one. I barely ran it over your skin and you already bleed. So fascinating."

I fell the loss of weight on my back and I am grateful he isn't leaning on me anymore. I feel the blade cut slowly across my back. I release a hiss.

"Well, would you look at that. Sharper than I imagined. Do you even feel when it cuts you? Or do you only feel it after it happens?"

Another cut across my back, this one I feel is deeper than the first cut. Another cut quickly follows. Then another. Then another. The more he cuts into my back the more my head starts to hurt. The more it feels like something is beating at a door trying to get out. I have a feeling what it is and the fear quickly races down my spine.

Each knife split my skin like a knife through butter. I now greatly regretted how often I sharpened the thing. I didn't feel the cut but felt it after and as the blood ran down my back.

"I feel like I am just talking to myself here Kara. I am disappointed in you. Don't you want to talk?" I hear him walk around to the front of me and then my dagger is used to lift my head up. The blade digs into my chin and the warm blood that falls down my neck.

"Now Kara. Really, this would be so much easier if you would just talk." He then quickly removes the dagger and I stupidly keep my head up looking at him. I watch as his fingers slowly move up and touch the claw marks that take up the right side of my face. Lunging forward, my teeth meeting nothing but air, Pike moving his hand quickly out of the way.

"Well, that wasn't very nice Kara. We were just having a civil conversation," Pike tells me as he slowly runs the dagger across my stomach. I release a hiss of pain from how deep he cuts the dagger across my skin.

"Does your Commander enjoy these on your face or does she feel revulsion? Probably doesn't find them attractive at all. I mean how can she be attracted to something like this? Though she is a savage so she probably does," He asks me. He then lifts his pointer finger up.

"Oh, I have a great idea what if we added them to the other side and see what she feels for you then. What do you think?"

I don't give him the satisfaction of an answer and just stare impassively at him.

"I know I think it is a great idea as well. Now hold still I want this to be perfect. Don't worry I'll keep your pretty little eye out of it."

Then he lifts my dagger and digs it deeply into the top part of my skull and slowly digs it straight down, making sure to keep the blade away from my eye. He then repeats the process again with the same cut.

"There now you have one. Just three more to go."

Only one cut was just as painful as when the claws dug into my face.

He slowly starts the next cut. A whimper escapes my mouth. When he gets to the bottom of my jaw he continues a little down my chest.

"Don't want it to be exactly the same now do we."

Then goes over the cut once more. I start to breath faster trying to ignore the pain in my face.

"Ok now here is number three. You are doing so well. Lexa would be so proud," he sweetly tells me. Almost talking like a proud parent.

I clench my eyes closed and I can see Lexa looking back at me, her chest puffed up with pride at seeing me, with fierce love in her eyes.

Then I feel the blade starting the third cut. When he repeats the cut for the second time I bite down hard on my tongue to keep the scream locked in my throat.

"One more to go and then we can be done for the day. How does that sound?"

I don't even have the strength the nod my head.

He finally starts the second to last cut and this time it feels like he is going slower than the other three combined. When he starts the second pass through he makes it to the top of my cheekbone before violently pulling down.

The scream that escapes is loud and long, when I cut it off, I can't stop the whimpers of pain and can feel the hot tears running down my face burning my new cuts.

"See now we are done with that. Now if you just tell me what I need to know then we can stop all of this," the smile he gives me is friendly. Like he hasn't just carved into my back or into my face or used the shock baton repeatedly on my body.

"I ain't telling you shit," then I spit and watch black saliva hit him across the face. The satisfaction I feel at that causes me to start to laugh and I feel the slight shift in my mentality. My reality starts to slip and the insanity starts to creep closer to the surface before something that sounds like shattering glass echoes through my mind and I feel myself get pushed into the deepest part of my mind and I know that I am so fucked.

* * *

I look down when I feel myself get stabbed. I see that a dagger is sticking out of my leg and then continue to laugh.

"Oh aren't you just a little ball of joy! I think you should let me go so we could play together."

I start to frown. "Don't you want to play with me?"

Pike looks mildly concerned and very confused before he becomes passive once more.

"No. We might be able to play if you answer some questions for me though."

I smile showing all my teeth and pull further on the bonds. "Promise?"

Pike looks back at Bellamy before looking back at me. "I promise Kara. Do you know how many warriors are coming?"

I scrunch up my face trying to think. I start to ecstatically shake my head. "Ya! I totally know!"

"Well, why don't you tell me so that we can properly prepare for their arrival," Pike gives me a small smile but the concerned look is still in his eyes.

"I'll tell you when you let me down. I won't hurt you I promise. Lexa made me promise to behave. She even gave me a reward for behaving last time," I tell him with a wink.

"It was so much fun," I growl out and feel the ice-cold feeling in my eyes. My smile becomes predatory and then I give a really hard pull on the bonds, hearing the slight groan of the metal bolts holding the chains up.

Pike looks up when hearing the groan and then punches me in the stomach.

I pout again. "That isn't very nice Pike. I said I promised to be good."

A small voice in the back of my mind is screaming at me, begging me to stop so I don't get us killed but I am having too much fun and I can't feel the pain just yet so why should I? I finally put all the weight back on my feet evenly and look down at the dagger in my leg.

"Can you remove this? It shouldn't have my blood on it. It was meant for others blood and not my own."

"I'll remove it and get someone to fix you up if you just tell me how many men will be coming to attack Arkadia."

Pike grabs the dagger but instead of pulling it out he starts to twist it. I stare down impassively at what he is doing and look up at him once more.

"I won't tell you anything till you release me. I could even play with the others that you need things from if you let me go. I can be very good at it," I tell him with a grin.

"Do you promise?" He asks.

I shake my head. "I always keep my promises! You can ask Bell. He'll totally back me!"

I look over at Bellamy and give him a gentle smile. He looks very concerned for me. Pike looks over at Bellamy before returning back to me.

"How do I know that you will even tell me what I want to know? I am not stupid Kara. I know what you are trying to do," the look Pike has is so funny, with his forehead all scrunched like that.

I let out a giggle.

"But see I promised, anyways I am the more fun one. I was so bored for sssooooo long!"

"What are you talking about?" Pike looks very confused.

I tilt my head at him. "I mean I am Still Kara but like the better parts. Well in my opinion anyway. Um, Doctor Griffin told me that I made another part of myself and that I was the dangerous part of me. That was the only reason that Doctor Griffin agreed to the medication that Jaha wanted to give me. I am the better half."

"So you really are crazy then?" He asks me.

I let out a growl. "I AM NOT CRAZY!"

I shake my head. "Sorry about that. I am not crazy. I hate that word. I am the better part of me. I can do things that the other me wouldn't do. I was the thing that was created as a child to protect myself."

"Protect yourself from what?"

"My mom. She wasn't the nicest. Calling your child a demon is never a nice thing Pike or you know hitting them. I had to be stronger. I had to be better. I had to be the thing that would protect the weaker side from breaking. I do the things that the other would never be able to handle. Do you understand now?"

Pike takes a step back from me and just continues to stare me down before taking a step forward and ripping the knife from my thigh. I let out a high pitch bark of laughter.

He turns to Bellamy. "Does she keep her promises? Has she ever broke one?"

"Negative sir. Though I really think you should think about this. She is obviously not all there."

"Isn't that we need right now though? I mean think about. We give her what she want's and then she gives us all the information we want to know on the grounders."

Seriously it is like they forgot I fucking exist.

Pike turns back to me and stands there for a couple minutes thinking about what he should do. "What was the last promise you made?"

"I promised I would return after coming here but if I go back then I don't get to play and I don't want that. It is so boring. I can help you. I am good at killing. I ripped a man's throat out with my teeth! Come on. You were right I am not part of them. If I was then I would not have come here. I would have let the 12 clans kill you. They have enough men to do that. You need to be smart here Pike. Think about it. I know everything there is to know about the grounder force and even more about Lexa."

I can hear the screaming of the voice telling me not to betray Lexa.

I then lift myself up slightly and then pull down with all my strength and hear the metal groan once more. Before Pike can hit me, I give one more hard pull and hear the breaking of metal and then I am standing straight up.

Pike looks furious and Bellamy actually looks scared.

I quickly back up and hold my hands up in surrender. "See I am being good. Just like I promised."

Pike takes a step closer to me. "How did you do that?!"

I stand straight up once more. "I am the Commander of Death. I have gone through the rite of passage. I now have the marks and I am one with the blood. The stories the grounders spoke of were not falsehoods but tales of truth. Give me the fun I want and I won't lay waste to this place. Let me kill who I want and I will give you no problems. I need to speak to Abby and have her repair the damage to this body but remember I am the stronger one."

Pike looked absolutely shocked. His mouth continued to open and close, not seeming to understand what I had just told him. "Wait. Back up here. You are telling me that the myths of the grounders about this legendary Wanheda crap are actually true. What would happen, Kara, if I decided you were too dangerous and just killed you here and now and took your powers?"

I give a shrug of my shoulders. "You would lose yourself to it Charles Pike. Death is chaos and one's mind must be chaos to accept death and while you have killed you always have been more of a level-headed kind of guy at least from what I can tell. You would suffer from the insanity that would grip you and die from the shock your body would go through."

"Then tell me how you can be this Wanheda?"

"Well, I was one of the lucky chosen. I have heard the voices for as long as I remember and I made it through the ascension which hurt like a bitch by the way. Now move I need to talk to Abby because of you idiots, I am on the verge of my death and I haven't had any fun for a very long time. So move before I make you. Hell, you can even have Bellamy follow me around. Or you bring Abby here to fix me up because you two are lucky I haven't actually died yet because you know that blood loss it a thing right. Two options here guys, pretty simple."

Pike takes a couple steps back. "I will bring Abby here for you. Then when she is done we will discuss everything that you know."

Pike and Bellamy quickly leave and then all the strength vanishes and I fall to the floor. My head is swimming and it is hard to think straight or even get a full breath of air, black spots continuing to swim in my vision.

 **Do you know what you are doing? If you fuck this up we die and we never get to see her again. You understand this right?  
**

'Yes, I understand how important this is. I actually like the girl, though she can be a hardass sometimes but she seems like my kind of chick. I understand that if this isn't done right then everyone here will die and Lexa will soon follow. I know how important this is. Now stop reminding me.'

I look up when I hear the opening of the airlock doors. Abby grows pale when she sees me before turning around with a heated glare to Bellamy.

"What the hell do you think you are doing? Do you even realize what you have done?"

Bellamy keeps his face straight. "Just fix her doc," with those final words he leaves the cell and I hear the door shut.

Abby stops in front of me before crouching down and forcing me to look into her eyes. Her eyes are soft and kind and though I am the crazier one I can't stop the tears from seeing that.

"Oh, Kara. Don't worry I'll fix you, don't worry. Everything will be fine," she tells me with tears starting to swim in her eyes. I just give her a slight smile.

Reaching my hand out and grabbing her arm in a tight grip. "I need to leave here. Lexa won't let me stay. I need to return and I need your help to do it. I can't hold this for long. You know that this part of me only comes out in times of stress. I can only pretend for so long and when they figure out what I am trying to do they will kill me. I know that they won't ever let me leave here till the threat is over but I can't wait till then."

She releases my head and I barely have the strength the keep it up before letting my head fall back down.

"Ok sweetheart I need you tell me where the worst of this is," she asks gently.

"My back and my face," I slur out. I see the blackness at the edge of my vision increasing and the constant ache from the cuts, burns, broken ribs, and from the blood loss is hitting harder than earlier.

"Let's get these stitched up first. If it makes you feel any better they actually look pretty straight but they will take awhile to heal."

I feel the slight prick of the needle for every stitch she creates but I keep quiet fighting the urge to fall asleep. Ignoring the increasing pain and darkness that is seeping into everything.

"Ok, I am going to help you move over onto your back ok. Just hold on and I'll get it fixed for you as soon as possible."

I feel her gently grab my shoulders and start to slowly move me to lay on my stomach. When I am finally laying down flat and she sees the state of my back I hear the slight hiss.

"Good god. Ok, I need to clean them first and then I can stitch them up for you," I hear her tell me but it sounds real far away.

I try to fight the blackness but then I feel the antibacterial on my back and then the burning and that is the catalyst to this and I am pulled under.

* * *

I almost put this up earlier today but then I was going through it and felt it didn't have enough. So now you have this. I know that this got kind of weird at the end but I hope it didn't turn out too terrible.


	15. Bitter Harvest

Next chapter. Won't lie the last chapter got really weird. Especially the end, don't know why I did it that way but I did.

This chapter was incredibly difficult to write. A lot of it was deleted and then remade. I won't lie I am honestly just writing this as I go. Somethings I have had planned but much of this is written as I go which makes it slightly harder. I mean I do the basic outline of the episode and then go from there.

Also, for those that want to know the ending is entirely different than how it originally was when I first wrote it. Terribly sorry but also not at the same time.

Leave me a comment if you want. Also, I love mythology. Greek preferably. Check out Carmilla or even Wynonna Earp. Good shows if you love wlw.

I don't own anything

* * *

Chapter Fourteen

When I awoke it was to pain flaring up my back and my whole body locking. I could barely hear the zap of electricity over my screams. The person holding the baton to my back for god knows how long. When it was released my body fell to the floor. Then the person began hitting my back with the baton. Each hit was paired with the zap of electricity racing through my body setting every nerve ending on fire. I would rather have them just hold it down instead of this. It was agonizing. I may be handle pain better but there was only so much I could take before it was too much to handle and I have reached that point. I couldn't contain the screams or the tears that were running down my face. The fracture in my mind was slowly increasing and even I knew that soon it would be very hard to bring me back from total insanity.

Then whoever it was stopped at least I think they did. Each breath sounded loud and difficult and I could hear someone else breathing just as hard as me.

A boot is then shoved once more down onto my spine and the stitches.

The boot starts to grind down and I can feel tears burn in my eyes.

Then the boot is off my back and then flips me over. My back screaming in protest as more tears fill my eyes and fall down my face. I look up and see Bellamy looking down at me his brown eyes who used to be caring now almost black from rage.

"Do you know who just died?" He asks me.

"Well considering I have been in here. I would have to say no. No, I have no idea who just died," my voice rough and scratchy as I sarcastically answer back blocking out the pain radiating from my back and how my heart hurts to see him act this way.

"Monroe is now dead because of the grounders and one other guard," with those words Bellamy slams his boot into my stomach. I pull my body in on itself and can feel the pulling of the stitches on my back and face as well as all the new injuries I just received.

I can already tell that I have pulled some of them on my face from of blood running down from my cuts.

"Your grounders did this!" Another kick to my stomach.

"You turned my sister against her own people!"

I had made the bad decision to show my back from drawing in on myself. The boot makes contact with my lower spine and the pain that shoots through my body causes another scream to escape. I feel the strain on my throat from the force of the scream, pissed that I can't seem to control myself.

"I now have to deal with the loss of two my people and then you need to tell me everything you know!"

I see him retract his foot and that he is about to bring his it down once more. New found energy rushes through my system helping me fight back the pain as my hands lash out and catch his foot, I can feel him trying to push down harder. I give a violent twist of his foot and hear the sharp crack and his own cry of pain as he falls heavily to the floor.

"I guess we can play together then Bellamy!" I roar my challenge. I crawl over him and then place his hands over his head. I can feel him trying to get me off of him but everything he is trying isn't working.

"Let me guess you and a team went out and did something else that was equally stupid. Lost some people because of it. It is funny that you mocked Clarke about her leadership skills but it looks like you are doing just as well as her."

 **He has the keys to the cell. And the other guard isn't there. Do you think we can leave now? I want to go back.**

The separation from Lexa is certainly causing things I do not like, certainly how I feel closer to losing control of myself. We need to get back to her.

"I need your keys. I don't like it here. Anyways I never promised I would stay and I certainly won't be staying now," I say with a little chuckle.

Before he can even open his mouth. I let go of his hands reach down and grab his head and slam it into the floor. He looks dazed after the first hit, so I hit him once more, harder than the last time. I pull his head up once more before slamming it down with even greater force.

This time his eyes don't reopen, his face relaxes, and blood starts to pool under his head. Fucking serves him right. I start to pat down his body before finally finding his key card. I punch him a few times in the face to make myself feel better. It works, so bully for me.

Quickly stand I deliver a few hard kicks to his side enjoying the feel of my boot hitting him in the ribs and hoping I broke a few before limping over to the door and open it. I look around the room and don't see anyone, but I do see my gear laying on the table to my left. God these people are a bunch of fucking idiots.

I see that Bellamy must have just come from the mission because his travel pack is next to the cell door.

I walk over and rip it open and notice it is just filled with bullets and magazines. I release a noise of disgust and just empty out the bag. I don't even care about the noise before turning back to the table and throw my armor in because I sure as shit am not leaving something that nice here for those assholes to have. They'd probably fucking melt it down for bullets or burn it to be spite-full.

I strap my swords to my back before throwing the backpack on. Ignoring the agony my back is sending to my brain. I then notice that my knife is also on the table, dried blood is on the blade and there is a small puddle of my blood around it. I feel something release in my chest knowing that I don't have to leave it behind.

I open the door and look down the hall to see if I can spot any guards and I don't.

Where the fuck are the guards? You would think this place would have better security or maybe Bellamy wasn't even supposed to show up in my cell alone like that. It would make sense. Slinking out of the room and I start to wander the halls. My first problem I come to is when I take a left trying to get into the section where the escape hatch is and I spot two guards at the end of the hall.

I lean back against the wall and try to think of what to do. Then I know the perfect plan.

I slowly draw both of my swords, taking a deep breath I give a cry for help. I hear the boots slamming into the floor as they the both run down the hall getting closer to the corner. I wait till the first turns the corner and slam both swords into the guards gut feeling warm-blood run over my hands.

I hear the bark of a gun go off and ignore it. I remove both swords just in time for the second guard to turn the corner. His eyes widen when he sees me and doesn't have enough time to react before in an overhead swing I remove his head.

The sound of his body falling to the floor echoes through the empty halls. I place the swords back into the scabbards and take a step forward only to stop from the growing pain in my side. I look down and see that the bullet grazed my side. Probably would have been a good idea to actually put my armor on but I don't know much pain that would have caused and do not look forward to it.

I start to run through the halls knowing that I am close to trap door to get out. I finally make it the hallway just as the alarms start to go off about a security breach. The world is starting to spin slightly but I quickly push through it needing to escape is more important than passing out.

I know I don't have the time to worry about that. The voices are screaming death and violence but not about others but of myself and know that this is not good.

I throw the panel to the side and start to crawl through the vents before I make it the drop off. I don't even try to climb down and just throw myself to the ground. I painfully stand up and start to walk away from Arkadia ignoring the fear I feel coursing through my body.

I slowly make it the tree line and just pass into it when I am thrown forward by the force of something hitting me on my back. Thankfully the bullet didn't make it through the pack and know that from the sound of metal hitting metal that the armor shoved in the bag just saved my life. I thank all the stars that Lexa gave me the new armor.

SO fucking glad I grabbed it.

I quickly pull myself up and turn back into the woods when I feel a bullet rip through my leg. A roar of pain escapes and I start to try and run. Ignoring how every step burns sending sharp pain through my whole leg worsening my limp and how I am starting to feel even more light headed. I can hear voices yelling far behind me but quickly catching up. I keep limping and running through the trees.

 **Be strong!**

I can hear the people closing in on me when I reach a cliff face. I barely stop myself from falling over the edge. I looked down and see that about 50 feet down there is a river and from here it does not look calm.

"Shit!" I turn and go to walk back where I came from and Pike and a couple others burst through the tree line. I recognize Pike, two are from the 100, a girl with dark blonde hair, Monty, and then another older looking Asian woman.

"Drop the swords and pack and lay flat on your stomach or we will open fire on you," Pike orders me.

I shake my head. "You already lost your chance of me working with you after what Bellamy did to me."

I start to slowly back up and get closer to the cliff face stopping just at the edge.

"If you had just kept up being nice I would have been good, but you didn't! I am glad that you helped fix me up though but guess you couldn't keep it up and just had to make it worse."

"Kara, you just killed two of my men and seriously injured Bellamy. From this moment on you are our prisoner once more and will be interrogated for any information you know on the grounder force. If you come back quietly then this doesn't have to get even more ugly."

"You made this ugly Pike," I then reach down the grab my dagger to throw at Pike when I feel something slam into my gut.

I look down and see the black starting to bloom from the wound. I look back up and see that the Asian woman has a look of pride on her face, Pike looks pissed, and Harper is looking at Monty horrified. I feel the pain start to spread through my body and the loss of even more blood I know is not helping me.

I place my hands on the wound and inadvertently take a step back only for the rock to slip and fall taking me with it. I release a scream as I fall. The wind whipping around my ears blocking out any sound.

The force of hitting the water takes my breath away. Pain blossoms through the whole left side of my body. I force the pain into the back of my mind and try and force myself to the surface.

I finally break the surface when my lungs are burning with their need for air. The river isn't calm and I am thrown around from the current. The current slams me into a rock into my left side, I yell out in pain only to get a mouthful of water and swept once more under the current. Trying not to swallow any water.

 **BE STRONG!**

I draw the strength I need and force my way to the surface once more and when I do I can faintly hear the roar of water and start to try and force myself to the edge of the river. The river continues trying to pull me down.

I look to my right to see how far I have before I hit the waterfall and crash into another rock. The water pushes me further into the river and I know I am fucked. I start to force my self back to the side only to hit free-air. The last thing I saw before the blackness claimed me was a pair of anguished green eyes.

* * *

 _*POV CHANGE (Lexa)*_

 _I look around and see two beings covered in black and who have red eyes, blood dripping down their faces. The red isn't kind like Kara's were after her ascension but violent and sends a chill down my spine. One of the demons vanishes and I feel fire start to eat away at my back._

 _I can't scream though, something won't let me. The fire continues to burn at my back. I feel the scream rising in my throat but it won't pass my lips. I feel the tears on my face. I start yanking my hands down to get away but can't._

 _I feel something slap my face and I realize I closed my eyes. When I open them the demon is smiling, all of his teeth are filled down to a point. Then the thing reaches his hand up and touches the left side of my face, repeatedly running his hand down. Each pass through sends shock waves through my body._

 _It feels as though someone has stuck my face in a fire and is holding it there._

 _Everything starts to move at a faster pace and then I realize I am not in the room anymore and I am surrounded by the woods and my back is facing a cliff. Four demons slowly walk out of the woods before one fires something at me. The force of the hit sends me falling and falling and falling._

 _I land in something that forces me along and I can't reach the surface. I continue to run into things before freefalling once more. A pair of pain filled red eyes the last thing I see before I am jerked awake._

 ** _You need to find Death._**

I wake up with a gasp, my eyes searching the whole room for danger. Something touches my knee and I almost hit them when I realize that Clarke is sitting next to me. Her eyes are filled with worry and concern.

"You're ok. You're safe," she tries to reassure me.

"What were you dreaming about?" she asks me.

"So much pain. Clarke, it felt like someone was burning me alive. My back felt like someone had taken a torch and help it against my skin before doing it to my face. Then I was falling off this cliff. I don't know what it was, maybe the Commanders warning of something? I do not know," I rub my hand over my face trying to ignore how I could still feel the burning on my face and back.

"Has Octavia returned yet? No, I am hoping she will be here soon though."

Clarke moved to the other chair located in the tent. We still hadn't gone back to Polis, I wouldn't leave without Kara. Not until she was returned to me safe but I had a bad feeling that was slowly starting to spread to the rest of my body. She had been gone for four days now. That was too long, Octavia had informed us from Kane that after their little break in that security around the camp was all heightened and that the inside guard rotation had only been kept to high-security areas.

I looked up when I heard the pounding of horse hooves coming closer to the tent.

"COMMANDER!" Octavia yells.

I sprint out of the tent, feeling ice cold fear grip me.

I make it outside at the time that Octavia throws herself from the top of the horse. I see that she has been crying and I feel a part of me start to crack and break. I already feel the tears burn. I can't seem to get enough air into my lungs.

"Lexa, I am so sorry," she tells me as more tears fall down her face.

Everything stops and I can't breathe.

"No."

I stand straighter and ignore how I feel like I just was kicked in the chest by a horse.

"What update do you have to give me?" My voice stayed steady but cracked near the end.

"Heda, Kara is gone."

"What do you mean gone?"

I rush forward and wrap my hands around her throat. "Explain yourself now!"

Octavia was starting to turn slightly red when she pulled my fingers off of her throat. Octavia then quickly backed away from me with a slightly fearful look on her face. My lips starting to tremble, warm tears running down my face.

"What the hell Lexa? Octavia, what happened?" Clarke asks.

Octavia gives me a dirty look but quickly turns back to Clarke when she sees me grip my sword.

"From what Kane heard she escaped containment, almost killing Bellamy from how hard she bashed his skull in, broke his ankle, and a couple ribs. Kara then escaped killing two guards before getting out of camp. She was shot in the leg once but continued running before she was stopped at a cliff where she was shot in the stomach and then fell off the cliff. They are saying they never saw her come up."

I gripped my sword harder. The aching loss I was feeling was overpowering. Then the sense of failure was crushing down on me, beating down on me. I haven't hurt this much in years. My heart felt like someone was slowly starting to squeeze it. I grit my teeth trying to calm myself down.

"So she could still be alive?" Clarke asks.

When I hear her voice, I am reminded of the fact that because of her Kara is gone. That she went to protect her, that she went and left me for her. That now? Now I will never see her again. I will never hear her talk about how beautiful the view from our room is or watch her make funny faces at Titus when he isn't looking.

"I don't think so. Abby told Kane about the injuries she had and that she was lucky that she hadn't already died from the injuries and blood loss and then let's add two gunshots and then falling off a cliff into rapids? As much as I want to believe that she is fine, I don't think she survived that."

"She broke her promise," I whimper out.

"What did you say, Lexa?" Clarke turns to look at me, her eyes going wide she sees the look on my face.

My face had contorted into one of disdain not having the desired effect from the tears.

"She broke her promise because of you Clarke," my voice calm.

I see the anguish floating in her eyes.

"She is not standing here now, with us, because she made sure to go with you. She is gone! She is gone and she left me because of you!" I roared.

"Wow, it isn't like we don't already know how that feels after the Mountain?" Octavia tells me, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"I did what was best for my people Octavia, hopefully someday you will understand that."

"That is enough Octavia," Clarke tells her.

I could feel the hot tears running down my face and saw the same falling down Clarke's face. She doesn't deserve to cry. This was Her fault. Hers and Kara's. I should have trusted my gut and not have let her leave my sight.

"I knew I should not have let you go but you said you could fix this. Well looks like you did. The Skaikru attacked another village and then succeeded in killing Wanheda. Right after they tortured her probably for information that she possessed on my forces and me. So Feel proud Ambassador," I tell her, a small part of me enjoying the immense pain that is shown on her face.

"I didn't want any of this to happen, Lexa! I was trying to help. I…I didn't think this would happen," Clarke whispers.

Anger floods through my system. "You didn't think this would happen? What did you think was going to happen? Your people declared war on my people Clarke. They voted for a man that wants war and they knew what they were voting for. That same man then went out and killed 300 men and women that were sent as a Peacekeeping force to protect them from the Azgeda. This blood must not have blood is not going to work not anymore. Your people must pay Clarke."

"I can fix this! I know I can!"

"Clarke you can't fix this!" I scream at her.

"NO ONE CAN FIX THIS!" I fist a handful of my shirt and try to rub away the pain but gaining no relief. I try to focus on what is going to happen now and know that I won't be able to mourn her properly until the situation with Skaikru is taken care of.

"No Lexa! Think about this. Octavia said that she fell off a cliff and never resurfaced. They didn't check and are just assuming she died because she was shot and then fell," her eyes looked hopeful.

"Get to the point Clarke," I growl out.

Clarke lets out a huff. "What if she survived? You know Kara. She literally was severely wounded and was lucky to even be able to move after facing that cat she was so proud of. She then carried that thing miles through the woods to deliver it to you in the Capitol. She lived through her ascension which should have killed her. You know as well as I do that she is a hard-headed and prideful person. She wouldn't die so easily. And she promised you that she would return. Lexa, she would never leave you."

I started to feel something warm trickle down my hands, quickly realizing I was digging my nails into my palms. I took a deep breath and tried to think rationally. I take another deep breath before I look back over at Octavia who wasn't rubbing her throat anymore but I could see the red marks left from my hands. A quick flash of guilt rushed through my system at the sight.

"Octavia, did Kane tell you where she reportedly fell or at the general location?" I ask her.

She gave a nod. "From what Harper told Kane, they were near the dropship and I am hoping that the river she fell in isn't the one I think it is because are some serious rapids there before it hits a massive waterfall."

"Both of you grab a horse. We are leaving now," I command.

I turn to the guards, "Any Skaikru found will be captured and brought to me immediately. Send word to the other outposts set up."

" _Sha Heda,"_ he tells me before going for his own horse.

I return back to Octavia and Clarke. "Let's move. And Clarke pray that you are right because this time there will be no other chances. No more talking or negotiating. This is your last chance. If we find her body, then your people shall pray for mercy and receive none. I shall do what I should have to Azgeda when they took Costia from me. All that will be left will be ash."

* * *

 _*POV CHANGE(Kara)*_

My head was pounding, it felt like I just went twelve rounds with a guy who was as large as Gustus. Fuck my life. I shifted a little and felt a crash of pain shoot through from my body. Most of it originated in my stomach, leg, and left side.

I could feel the lapping of water on my legs and knew that I was able to crawl to the shore before I passed out. I flipped onto my back, releasing a moan of pain forgetting about the extensive damage to my back. At least my backpack seemed to have stuck to my back without ripping or tearing off.

Taking a shallow breath trying not to aggravate any broken ribs, I slowly lifted myself up.

And I fucking hate myself. Should have just laid back and not moved but no. This is such fucking trash.

I crack my eye's open and notice my right one isn't opening all the way. I reach my hand up to gently touch it and even that sends shock waves of pain through my wrist. I look down and see that much of left arm is black and blue.

"FUCK!" I shout.

After taking a couple seconds to calm down and not freak the fuck out because I honestly have no idea where the hell I am and am seriously injured. I gingerly take the backpack off, then the swords.

Thankfully I still have my chest wraps but I don't know how much of a good thing that is because looking down I can see how much of my side of my ribs are angry red with the splotchy black and blue bruises mixed in.

The bullet wound doesn't seem to have hit anything major and I can't thank the gods enough for that miracle because I can only imagine how Lexa has taken this whole thing. Can pretty much guarantee the deaths of like half of Skaikru. I reach around my back and feel for the exit wound and release a sigh of relief when my fingers touch the exit wound. I don't even care that it hurt like a bitch to touch.

I then reach down and tear open my pants to get a better look at the bullet wound on that leg. I reach under my leg and can't feel the exit wound. Well isn't that just great?

I force myself a little further forward and then jab my finger in the hole trying to find the bullet. I make it about three and a half inches down into the muscle before I find the bullet. Either I leave it in or cut the wound a little bit bigger to fit two fingers in to grab the stupid little thing.

 **I am going to straight up dissect those bitches. Totally ruined all the fun I wanted to have. If you want I can take over and get us going.**

'No'

 **But I was good…**

'You were not good! You are lucky that Pike didn't shoot us when you pulled that shit in the cell! Don't even get me started on the whole Bellamy thing.'

 **I was tired of standing. And Bellamy seriously injured us, so I broke his ankle and some of his ribs. I think that was totally fair.**

'Won't lie that was pretty fair and totally awesome with the ankle grab. I will let you do your thing because this is straight up painful and I am just getting really pissed off. Just know that as soon as we find where we need to go or run into Trikru I am back in charge.'

 **YES! Blood!**

'I swear to god. I am so worried that you are part of my psyche.'

 **I am honestly the best part of you. Don't deny it.**

* * *

I grab the knife and then cut the wound open further, dropping the knife and then pulled the little shit out, throwing it behind me.

"Well, that wasn't terrible."

 **Yes, well now we have to find Lexa's camp without getting caught by Skaikru.**

"Oh wow, listen to that sarcasm."

I strap the swords to my back and then throw on the backpack that is still carrying all of my armor. Putting it on now just seems like a very large chore and I can not deal with that right now.

"Ok, no lie. This is terrible. No more falling into rivers ok?"

 **Shut up and get us out of here. You handle pain better than I do.**

"Yes and that should tell you how much pain our bodies in."

I forced myself up and ignored how half my body wanted to stay laying on the bank and that part of my brain was screaming that certain parts were way too hot to be healthy.

Standing up straight caused me to feel slightly light headed but I pushed it away. Taking careful steps because falling and trying to get up right now doesn't sound like such a great idea.

I slowly make my way up the small mountain, ignoring how each step increases the agony that my body is in. The mountain wasn't as big as I thought it would be and was able to make it to the crest in only a couple hours by that time sweat was pouring off of me and I was feeling slightly nauseous. Sitting down and leaning against a tree I let myself rest for a while to gain back the strength I needed to find my way back to camp.

* * *

I was able to sleep for a couple hours before finally feeling strong enough to continue on by this time the sun was slowly starting to rise and I prayed that this was the day I was finally back with Lexa because though I was pretending to be fine the underlining panic was starting to rise. Pushing myself up I started to my journey once more. Each step becoming harder the farther I went on.

Halfway down the mountain, I was passing a clearing when I heard the very familiar growl of an animal, quickly stopping. Reaching back I pulled both swords out and prayed the thing was friendly and was just giving me a warning growl or something knowing I was in no way shape or form in fighting shape. Hearing another growl from a large feline and some leaves being stepped on I turn to my left and see a massive lion staring at me. It was slightly larger than the tiger I was in that fight with and instead of the normal orangish main most lions had this one's main was as black as night but contrasted nicely with the tan of the rest of its fur. The lion had a massive scar on the left side of his face but his bright green eyes seemed to be undamaged. _(A/N: it's fucking Scar or Kovu but ya. I watched the Lion King and thought a lion would be better than a wolf and she already got fucked up by a different cat so why not)_ The teeth clearly visible with saliva dripping from its muzzle. The position of the animal is obviously showing the massive animal is about to attack and it looks close to lunging at me.

Even crouching the way it is the shoulders of the animal reach just below my chest.

 **Show no FEAR!**

'The fuck is happening right now?! That thing looks like it wants to eat me!'

 **No fear!**

'If it fucking eats me I swear to God I will be the most annoying spirit to the next person just because I can.'

Taking the terrible advice offered to me, I stand tall. Much of my body groaning in protest as I puff out my chest. I bare my teeth and release my own growl though honestly, it does not sound as impressive as the Lion's growl. My eyes feel slightly cold so I know that they are now black and red instead of white and red. The animal inhales deeply before releasing a roar that is so loud and deep that my whole body vibrates and my ears ring when it ends.

I grit my teeth and try to stay calm knowing that the cat is challenging me. The giant cats tail twitches as he begins to growl once more, and his eyes seem to be telling me that he would like to use me as a chew toy and finally I lose my cool. I release my own war cry and take two massive steps forward bringing myself barely 5 feet away from the cat. I raise my swords over my head and give another yell to state my own challenge. The cat stood tall and went to his full height my eyes level with his and God wasn't that just terrifying it could probably fit my entire upper body in its mouth and still not choke. The green eyed cat slowly stops growling and finally lowers its gums bringing it from a 8 on the intimidation scale down to like a 5 because lets be honest here a pissed Lexa is at least a 9 and like a 20 on the hotness scale.

 **FOCUS!**

Crap sorry. I focused back on the lion whose eyes had narrowed slightly at me. Releasing my own growl seemed to appease the massive cat though which I allowed me to relax slightly. The massive animal then seems to bow its head slightly at me before laying all the way down on the ground resting its head on its paws. The intensity of its gaze was honestly slightly terrifying but still, I stood tall. When the gaze of the animal finally softened enough that I put my swords away and finally started to slowly walk closer, each step I made sure to stop for a minute each time giving the cat long enough to adjust to me moving closer to his space.

Finally, when I standing in front of the lion I sat down in front of him. Slowly reaching my hand out I held my hand in front of the nose of the animal, allowing him to sniff it. I seemed to pass some test because it pressed his massive head to my hand. He radiated heat and it felt nice, he was even able to calm some of the more violent thoughts that have been constantly running through my mind since I woke up. Rubbing my hand into his head and around his ears, my hand almost covered by the fur from the animals mane.

Holy shit though because his fur is soft as hell. It is amazing. He closed his eyes and something akin to a purr was filtering through the air, loud and very relaxing making me want to curl up and actually sleep. I continued to pet him for a couple minutes before forcing myself to stop. The lion opened his eyes and the look he gave me reminded me so much of the look Lexa gave me when I did something annoying actually made my eyes water. God I am turning into such a sap.

Ignoring the pain and standing up, I give him one last look before I started to walk away only to stop when I hear him following me. Turning around red meets green as the massive cat is staring at me expectantly. Sweet Jesus this thing is just as big as that tiger which makes me so glad I am not hunting this thing.

"Ok no. This is not happening. Go away from me," and he just gave me a confused look. I took a couple steps back and he matched me step for step his steps are quiet, making me think that the only reason I heard him approaching is because he wanted me to hear him.

"No dude. This is not how this is going to go. I have enough problems."

Turning around I just walked away and ignoring how the lion was now walking right next to me. I swear to god I do not have the time or patience for this. I already have enough problems. I can tell that some of my wounds are becoming infected by the excess heat I can feel coming from my back and it is getting worse. I need to get back as quickly as possible.

 **Don't worry he will help you.**

'What the hell does that mean?'

I hear no other response.

'I hate you so much sometimes. What happened to the days when you were just sarcastic?'

Feeling soft fur I look over and the thing just seems to be radiating how smug it is catching the corner of his eye and seeing that it seems to be smiling.

"You are going to be a big pain in my ass aren't you?" the thing just huffs in acknowledgment.

We continue to walk for a couple more hours and finally make it back to the bottom of the mountain, at this point I am starving and my stomach actually hurts from how hungry I am. Hopefully, I will find someone from Trikru soon so they can help take me back but seeing as I now have this massive fucking animal with me now I don't know if they will even come close to me. Probably run away as soon as they see me. I mean Hell I would.

Throwing myself to the ground gingerly leaning back against the tree, releasing a heavy sigh and closing my eyes to try and sleep. Something heavy and warm lands on my lap and I slightly jump. Opening my eyes I see amused green eyes staring back at me. Lexa has that same god damn look when she does something to mess with me. Closing my eyes once more I start to card my hands through the soft fur.

"Well, I guess I should tell you my name. My name is Kara. I am from the Skaikru or the people from Arkadia but I like to think I that I am more Trikru than anything, especially because of Lexa. She is amazing. She is the Commander of the 12 clans. Ironically, she has the same eye color as you. I love her with all my heart and I want to see her again. Hopefully, she finds me soon or I her. Remember that name though ok. Lexa. You will know her when you see her. I mean I hope so. She smells like the forest and it is intoxicating, ironically her eyes are the same color as yours. God I miss her," the last part coming out as more of a wine than anything else.

The lion gives a huff of understanding. "I guess you need a name now. I know you are a dude and you are fricking huge. Lexa is going to be so Fucking jealous when she sees you! So, let's see," I close my eyes and start thinking of different mythology that I read about lions and one of my favorite stories was from Greek mythology.

"I got it!" The lion lets out a rumble and presses its head closer to my hand and I begin to scratch a little harder.

"Ok so in Greek Mythology their was this indestructible lion that was called the Nemean lion, now this lion had golden fur just like you do and you look pretty indestructible to me. The lions hide was said to be magical and when Hercules killed him, he skinned him and used the cloak for himself. If you stick with me though and someone hurts you then I'll just kill them but I think I am going to call you Nemea. Do you like that?"

I crack an eye open when I feel his head lift off my lap. He stares into my eyes before slightly nodding his head. "Holy shit. I guess you can kind of understand me. Nemea, it is then. This is going to be the start of a beautiful friendship."

Nemea lays his head back down on lap and I resume petting him before closing my eyes once more and finally falling asleep to his gentle purring.

* * *

 _*POV CHANGE (Lexa)*_

The sun is just beginning to rise when we finally catch an actual trail for Kara and since then I have pushing Clarke and Octavia to go faster. We had been trying to find Kara for the last 24 hours and I was beginning to lose that small shred of hope I had left when we found a lot of black blood on the shore of a lake that was slightly downriver of the waterfall that Octavia was convinced she fell over.

We had spent the night going over a mountain that was to the north and thankfully since Roan had pledged Azgeda to the coalition I did worry as much about her being killed by them but I did still worry because the amount of blood that we had been following was a cause for concern. The three of us would be reaching the bottom of the mountain in a little bit when I looked closer at the footprints to see huge paw prints that seemed to follow Kara. The spike of fear that swept through my body was massive.

"Something is following Kara! We need to hurry!" telling the others before I give a small kick to my horse's side urging him to go faster. He had finally returned after disappearing after the missile at Ton D.C. He was my companion and friend. When I had first become Commander I was out in a field one day just walking with Costia when this white massive warhorse comes walking into the clearing. Many of the previous Commanders started talking about showing no fear and to stand tall. I did and he has followed me faithfully from that day though he does get a little grouchy sometimes and will leave but he always returns.

Every Commander had their own companion that followed them through life, some had failed and never gained their companion. While mine was a horse some had dogs, cats, wolves, or different animals but many were predators. I was more than happy with mine though some of the previous Commanders made comments on my leadership promise when I was given a horse.

Reaching the bottom of the bottom we came to a clearing and at the edge of it a person was sitting down and leaning against a tree. Instantly I knew who it was from the blood red hair. I gave my horses sides a slightly harder nudge to get him to go to the other side of the clearing faster. The closer I got the more I realized that something massive was laying on her.

A absolutely massive lion then slowly stands and turns to us. The thing lets out a warning growl. The way the animal is positioned I can easily see how the hair on the neck and ridge of its back is standing straight up and the animals mane is so dark that it seems to suck in the light from around it. A truly terrifying animal for the woman who turns into her own terrifying being.

"What the actual hell did Kara find?" Octavia asks.

We stopped at least 10 feet away from Kara and the massive lion standing over her. The lions head was bowed low with his tail sticking straight up and was twitching and his eyes seemed to burn with a green fire. I then knew what we were dealing with. She had found her companion and unlike mine who was a gentle horse, she had found herself a massive lion who could easily tear us all apart with ease, he looked even bigger than that cat that Kara had brought to Polis more than a week ago. Part of me was overwhelmed with relief knowing that she had something like to protect her out here and would follow her for the rest of her life.

"Nobody move. I didn't think she would get one. I assumed it was only something that a Commander would receive and never even thought something like this would happen."

"What did you receive?" Clarke asked.

"Every Commander that passed the test was gifted with a companion. If you passed the test then the animal would follow you for the rest of your days. Mine is my horse here. It seems like Kara has been gifted a very special one. Nobody gets closer to Kara till she gives the all clear or I do. He will attack us if he deems us a threat."

"Us a threat? Don't you mean him? Wait, are you telling me that while you have a horse Kara got that huge cat as her companion?"

"Yes, now let me handle this. Don't get off your horses and don't make a sound till I say it is ok. Hopefully, he will let us even get close to her."

Sliding off the saddle I start to slowly make my way over till I am now only 5 feet away from the wolf who is still hunched over Kara protecting her body. It doesn't look like she has woken up yet and that has increased all the fear that I am feeling. The lion is still growling his warning and when I stop he releases an extremely loud roar. A rush of fear washes through my body before I push past it. I puff out my chest and give him an equally challenging look. After a couple of minutes of our standoff the lion finally calms down some and I can no longer see the canines that are about as long as my hand and as thick as my fists.

Lifting my hand out I stop slowly. "I promise I will not hurt your companion. My name is Lexa and I would never harm Kara," my voice sounds almost desperate.

His tail droops slightly before he stands to full height once more and just like with Kara I have to slightly look up at him. The lions eyes swim with more knowledge than any common animal confirming my thoughts on him being her companion. The green eyes swiftly look back at Clarke and Octavia who are still on their horses behind me before returning my gaze once more.

He slowly walks forward till he is standing fully in front of Kara and barely a couple inches from my hand that is still holding out for him to smell. He sniffs my palm before pressing his head into my hand. Releasing a sigh of relief as I run my hand over his head. He begins to purr slightly and presses a little harder into my hand.

"Thank you, my friend. Can I look at Kara now?"

His eyes narrow at me before he slowly shifts to the side. When he does I finally get my first look at Kara and my mind can't tell whether it wants to be sick and throw up or be far angrier than I have ever been in my life.

The whole left side of her face has been cut open. Four long knife wounds cover the left side from a couple inches before her hairline to down her face to even continuing onto her chest. It looks like someone placed some stitches, but most seemed to be ripped out because a lot of blood seems to have dried on her face, making her look like she is covered in war paint. Her lip seems to be split in more than one place, while both eyes seem to be black her right one is partially swollen shut. Her whole body seemed to be covered in sweat and her face flushed.

She didn't have a shirt on, only her chest wraps. Bruising covered more of her than actual skin. Some of her chest even looked burned but not by anything I could think of. Clarke would probably know. The longer I looked the worse it looked for Kara. I can see where the bullet hit Kara, it was closer to her left side and seemed to no longer be bleeding. Her pant leg was cut open and a massive cut was on her thigh and can only assume that she cut out the bullet. Reaching my hand out to push her hair back I was stopped by a loud growl.

I stopped less than an inch from touching her and look over to the massive lion who is baring his fangs at me once more. "She needs help. We won't hurt her. We won't separate the two of you."

Trying to keep my posture as non-threatening as possible so the massive animal knows I am no threat, while he watched me, it was obvious that he was weighing my words and my worth once more. He stopped growling and finally sat down once more. I release my own sigh of relief though it is very short lived.

Closing the last of the distance my hand touched Kara's forehead. Her skin was too hot and instantly I knew she had a fever. Fear shot down my spine.

"Lexa?" a scratchy voice asked when I turned my head to look down at her rib area. Snapping my head back I met confused and slightly clouded red eyes.

"Oh Kara," I cupped both her cheeks in my hands. Her eyes slowly closed once more and didn't re-open, her breathing deepening. Shoving all un-needed emotions to the back of my mind, I looked up back to the lion. His eyes were filled with worry and starting to shift his weight around, releasing something akin to a whine.

"We need to take her. She needs help and I have the means to make her better. The people over there can help Kara," I pointed at Clarke and the lion's eyes instantly made contact with Clarke. Clarke shifted atop the horse nervous under such a penetrating gaze from such a large animal.

"Lexa?" She asked me nervously.

The lion turned back to me before backing up slightly, sitting down and nodding his head slightly. "Clarke get over here quickly. Bring all your medical equipment over here. Octavia, you can possibly help as well. Get firewood and get us a fire going, I have a feeling we are going to need it."

Clarke was quick to jump off her horse and make her way over, her arms overflowing with different supplies that she would need.

Kneeling next to me Clarke started giving orders. "Ok we need to check her whole body for different injuries, I need your help removing her swords and the bag."

Nodding my head, I pull Kara slightly forward ignoring the growl from my left and slip the straps of the backpack off her shoulders easily. The black bag falls to the ground with a heavy thud and then I unstrap the buckles of her swords and place those next to her body. Wrapping my hands once more around her shoulders I stop. My hands feel wet but not from sweat but from something thicker and warmer, lowering my hands a little I can feel knife cuts and the one I pass with my left-hand feels hotter than the rest of her skin.

"Clarke help me put her on her stomach."

Clarke helps my place Kara on her side before placing her on her stomach. My breath hitches and my vision flashes red.

"Good God," Clarke whispers and when I finally take a closer look I feel my whole body burn hot with rage. It swirls through my brain and settles in every muscle, my mind screaming murder and promising nothing but death.

Her whole back had been cut into. Much of it looked to have been cut by a very sharp knife. A few were pretty massive, as one went across her whole back but skipped the wrap, which I filed away for later. She had been cut at least 20 times across her back. A couple of the cuts seemed redder and almost swollen. The beautiful tattoo of the tree that was on her back was extremely difficult to see from all the cuts, igniting more of my anger. Whoever did this destroyed her mark and was considered blasphemy to my people.

"Clarke they will pay for this. The ones responsible will not be spared. When this is finished all responsible will be nothing but ash and bone," I promised her. She didn't say anything but gave a small nod of her head before grabbing her water and pouring it onto Kara's back.

* * *

Here ya go. Sorry once again to those that read the original chapter 15.


	16. Thirteen

Next chapter! Thanks to all the people who follow this story or have it as their favorite, it seriously means a lot to me that people are actually reading this. Right now I am slowly revising previous chapters while writing this. I just finished finals week and am now free to write as much as I want.

 **By the way, Lexa issued to blockade and kill order for those that get confused later in the chapter. Kara was accepted in Trikru and is no longer considered part of Skaikru and Clarke to others is a political prisoner but she can leave when she wants. Look up lion noises they can be pretty cool. Character death. I am no officially making my own storyline here, no more canon. I won't lie I tried to watch what happens after Lexa's death but I have absolutely no interest. I have a general understanding of what happens and what happens in season 4. Also, that song that they play when Clarke bows to Lexa is on Spotify. Take a Life With Me (Grounder Anthem).**

Fanfiction is also being an asshole. It has frozen once or twice for each chapter in the middle of me editing it! Honestly starting to piss me off. I am sorry for how long this chapter has taken to finish. The story is almost finished and I am trying to figure out what to have in each chapter.

I own nothing except Kara!

Chapter Fifteen

* * *

I was forced from the black recesses of my mind by something hot being pressed onto my back. I tried to tear myself away from the pain but couldn't move. I felt cold metal touch my cheek and could feel my stomach touching it as well. The metallic scent of my blood heavy in the air so heavy that I could taste it in my mouth.

Hearing Pike's voice "Tell me how many soldiers are coming Kara and we don't have to do this anymore," his voice promising only promising more pain to come.

Hot metal pressed once more on a different spot on my back. This time screaming out in pain. The metal is quickly taken away, the residual pain still there, along with much of my body. Whatever is holding my arms down tightens.

"Tell me how many Kara and this can all end," whispers through my mind. I can hear some other voices but I can't hear what they are saying.

Hot metal presses once more on a different spot on my lower back. I give a whimper of pain and tears run down my face but feel my stubborn side come to the forefront of my mind.

Gritting my teeth, " _Ai liak no natrona,"_ I growl out.

"What is she talking about?" a familiar voice asks.

The question doesn't make any sense. Weirdly enough I don't hear the hum of the lights overhead or Pike's heavy breathing. I can smell smoke from the fire and hear its crackle, the quiet chirping of birds, and creaking from trees, as well three peoples breathing but their breathing is lighter, calmer. Opening my eyes I can see metal but it keeps flashing to dirt and trees which only increase the confusion I feel.

"She has one more and then we can stop but it's too big for one blade. Kara be ready."

I release a threatening growl and try and pull away but the pressure holding me down increases. A war cry starts to build in my throat and my body begins to feel hotter. The voices in the back of my head are yelling at me to calm down but I can't. I don't want to hurt anymore. I want to be back with Lexa in her arms to smell her scent and press my face into her neck as she wraps her arms around my back. I want to feel safe again.

The hot press of metal on my back is the catalyst needed for war cry to escape my throat, the blade is quickly removed and then another takes its place slightly lower. When the blade is removed once more everything holding me down is quickly removed. I drag myself across the metal floor my fingers feeling like they were clawing through dirt and not metal. I didn't care and just needed to get away. A pained whimper escaped my lips when I put to much pressure on my left arm. I finally crawled far enough away and pushed myself up.

Once standing I almost fall back down from the intense pain in my left leg, looking down I see that I have one stab wound and then closer to my knee there is another cut. Something soft rubs against my left side, looking over I see a massive lion that is standing at my side, the fur on the back of its neck is slightly raised and then the memory of the last time I was awake came crashing back.

I had woken from my nap and everything felt too hot, Nemea kept whining and pressing himself further into my side trying to get me to stand up but the pain was too much. Another memory comes crashing forward and I can see green eyes that swim with tears.

Looking forward once more I see Lexa, barely acknowledging Octavia and Clarke, only having eyes for her.

Then everything is flashing once more and my memories were placed behind the wall I had built, and I was back in the metal room and Pike was standing in front of me. His face contorted in a sick grin. It becomes hard to breathe, each breath becoming a chore as Pike took careful measured steps towards me. The closer he came to me the more scared I became and was reaching the point of hysterics. Amazed at how this one man was causing me to feel such fear. I wanted to be strong, but I couldn't make myself feel brave. Panicking I wrapped both hands around Pike's throat, slowly increasing my grip.

The fear I was feeling was spreading through my body like an out of control wildfire, activating my flight or fight response and pumping adrenaline to everything. My vision kept flickering from Pike to a beautiful brunette whose green eyes were flashing with both love and overwhelming sadness before they return to eyes that burn with unbridled rage and murder.

"Kara," the voice is strained and almost pleading. Slightly rough hands grasp at my wrists as my grip continues to slowly increase. My eyes flick to behind Pike to see two people getting closer to the two of us. Bellamy on the right whose image was shifting to a woman who has the same face shape, eye color, hair color. The shock stick in his hand shifted to a sword before going back to crackling with electricity. The other guard did not look familiar, but he also shifted to a female that had blonde hair and striking blue eyes, though this guard carried nothing.

I pulled Pike to me spinning his body around to where his back was pressed against me and I had my right arm pulling him into a choke hold. I was confused because I could see over his head, knowing that I shouldn't be able too, knowing Pike was taller than my six-foot frame. Bellamy and the other guard continue to get closer to us. A voice deep in my head screaming at me to calm down and to stop hurting her. The voice begging and trying to get me out of the fear induced hysteria I had driven myself in.

"Stay back or I swear to God I'll kill Pike!" I hiss out at them, causing both of them to stop in their tracks. The hands that were gripping my wrists are now softly running across my arm, not in a threatening manner but as though the person was trying to soothe me like I was some wild animal.

"Kara you're safe, we aren't here to hurt you and the person you are holding isn't Pike it's Lexa. You are hurting her," The blonde in front of me sounding as though she is pleading. I didn't believe her and tightened my hold on Pike. A growl escaped from me coming from deep within my throat. I didn't trust them but knew how close Pike was earlier that he smelled like metal and gunpowder. Pressing my nose into the juncture between his neck and shoulders I took a massive breath in, taking in the person's scent. Fresh pine and dirt filled my senses, tears started to pool in my eyes because I knew this smell. This smell broke through all the walls I had built to protect myself and I realized that I had let my other half down. I promised I would get us to Lexa but instead she finds us, and I attack her. I am so shocked and then horror floods through my body and in my panic, I throw Lexa from me. She hits the ground hard from the shock and un-expected shove but rolls onto her feet quickly.

 **YOU HURT HER!**

I slam my hands to my head and release a scream. The voice so loud that it seemed to send vibrations through my whole body, so loud my entire head was pounding in pain. A massive roar sounded through my mind as I released another scream before I was lost the last amount of control I had but the strain was too much for us and we were sucked into the darkness. The last thing I can feel is myself falling down only to be caught by strong arms and something soft press against my side.

* * *

 _*POV CHANGE (Lexa)*_

I barely caught Kara in time before she hit the ground, and was almost taken down with her if her lion hadn't kept me from falling back at the last moment. Every part of my soul was crying out in anguish at what I had just seen. The only time I had seen anything close to that was the night before we attacked the mountain.

We needed to get her back to Polis. I knew that the healers there would help her greatly and what Clarke had just done would only help for so long and without the proper medicine and herbs, her fever would not lower.

I reached down and lifted her legs and pulled her close. We were going to get her back to Polis and then I could finally handle what was happening with Skaikru and everything that needed to be decided. The lion did not leave my side the entire ride back to the city. I had Octavia split off and go back to camp and report to warrior left in charge, as Indra had already returned to Polis to recover from her injuries.

I pushed my horse to his limit feeling terribly guilty for the strain I put upon my loyal companion. Sonraun (Life in trigedasleng) was panting heavily and his mouth was covered in froth. Even Kara's lion seemed to be exhausted each breath seemed to shake his body, but he had never slowed always keeping stride with Sonraun the entire time.

Kara's condition did not change on the way back which could be considered a good sign, though her fever seemed to be just as bad as when we first found her. I leaned her body forward and after a quick command to hold still, layed her gently leaning on his neck. Jumping down off his back quickly, I slowly shifted her hips and caught her gently when she rolled off holding her bridal style.

Kara released a small moan of pain and my heart clenched in sadness and anger. Looking down I was surprised to meet red eyes. They seemed a bit clearer than the last time she was awake but still not the way I wanted them to look.

"I am so sorry my little raccoon," her voice was still just as raspy and caught many times. Her last words brought tears to my eyes. A loud purring noise filled the air and her cloudy eyes turned and looked at the lion. Her hand stretched out and while still shaky ran her hand once through his main as he stood next to us.

"Good job Nemea," her words barely loud enough for me to hear at the end. The newly named Nemea's purr increased tenfold.

"Ai hod yu in," I quietly whispered to her, lifting her body slightly and kissing her forehead, her eyes closing once more and breathing evening out once more. I also noticed that her skin was not as hot as it was before, not a lot but just enough to slightly notice. I barked out orders to the guards that were starting to swarm the area to bring a fisa to my rooms as soon as possible before getting in the lift, Clarke, and the lion quickly following.

When the lift began to move up a startled noise escaped from the lion causing Clarke to laugh only to get a glare from the lion shockingly. He seemed to be quite sensitive then. The lift finally made its way to the desired floor, the doors opening to surprisingly see Titus standing there waiting.

His eyes spoke volumes and I could already tell that we would be getting into another fight. He took a step back though when he finally noticed who was standing next to me. Kara was certainly going to be upset that she missed seeing his reaction.

"What is that animal doing here and why is he not in the stables with the other animals?" His voice was controlled but you could hear the slight waver in it.

The lion did not like this question and bared his fangs and released a low growl deep in his throat. Titus took another step back surprised that the large animal was able to understand him.

"He is her companion Titus, Nemea will stay with Kara from now on,"

His face was quickly controlled though before he turned and walked in the directions of my rooms. He had to much respect for me to discuss such things in front of the guards. I followed and once we were sequestered in my room and I placed Kara gently onto our bed Titus finally began to speak.

"Clarke leave us," Titus ordered.

"I am not leaving. Not yet," Clarke fired back.

"Leave for a minute, Clarke. If Kara wakes then I shall call you, you can wait outside the door," Her eyes burned like blue flames even the dark lion started to shift from his seated position. His shoulders beginning to roll and eyes turning to look at my flamekeeper. She finally released a large sigh and left the room.

"I beg you to remember my teachings. Love is weakness. To be the Commander is to be alone. This is not alone," he gestured to Kara who was still passed out on the bed. Her face had relaxed and she actually seemed to be sleeping peacefully.

"I will not hear this again," I tell him as I go and grab a bowl of water and a towel before walking back to the side of the bed.

"Your feelings for Kara put the both of you in danger. For the kill order to be effective, you need to send them both home. If you care for them you need to send them home it is the only way for them to be safe," he was close to shouting by the time he finished speaking.

"Safe? You speak of safety Titus but look at what her home did! This was done by Her people. This was not done by Azgeda or by any of the other clans. No, this was done by Skaikru to their own people. She will not go back. This is her home and I know if she was actually awake instead of like this she would tell you the same thing," I was mad and I knew if this went on any farther I would finally lose the careful control that I had over my emotions.

"Heda don't make her pay for the same mistakes as Costia did."

Those words were his undoing. He should know by now to never mention what had happened to Costia.

"My mistakes?" I asked him as I rose from my chair next to the bed.

"Azgeda cut off Costia's head and delivered it to my bed and still I let them into my alliance. I am more than capable of separating feelings from duty!" I roared at him.

This also seemed the tipping point and Kara likes to say on occasion Shit hit the fan. The growl Nemea released was so loud that it vibrated in my chest. He slowly rose to his full height easily staring Titus in the eyes as he began to slowly stalk forward till he had placed himself between Titus and I then released a threatening roar before growling at him once more.

Titus raised his hands, slightly shaking and his face pale. "I did not mean to offend."

"Yes, you did. Nemea calm yourself. All is well. He only meant well," I spoke trying to calm the large feline. He didn't stop growling but it did lower some and he slowly sat. I ignored how Titus's face flashed a furious gaze at the large animal before his face became calm once more.

The large doors to my room finally opened and Clarke came back in the room following behind her was the fisa that I ordered. What followed was more cleaning of Kara's wounds and taking out the remaining stitches on her back and face before replacing them. When they finished and finally left everything from the last 5 days came rushing forward.

I clenched Kara's hand hard and sobs began to break free. The feelings of fear and terror were finally released and with each powerful wave of these emotions, another sob broke free. I did not try to stop them knowing that I was passed the point of being able too and because Kara was here and was safe and I could finally feel. The fear and terror finally vanished to allow the joy I felt that she was finally returned to me and though she was now scarred terribly and would most likely suffer mentally from this she was back.

A large head pressed into my side and began to huff each huff, released a small noise in his throat. Nemea kept pressed into my side as I continued to cry and when I finally was able to stop he finally moved and jumped onto the bed on the other side and layed down on Kara, allowing his massive head to rest on her hips so as to not touch or place pressure on any of her wounds.

I stayed in my chair till I fell asleep watching Kara's face having to make sure that she was still here and that she was no longer taken from me.

* * *

 _*POV CHANGE*_

The small pride of lions from the zoo managed to survive the dropping of the bombs and through many difficult years evolved to survive in the new climate. Each of these differences allowed the pride to grow slightly in number and become even more dangerous to the different predators and prey in the area.

Each new generation that passed the lions would grow in size, in the beginning, only one male lion would be in the pride and any new males born were forced out once they reached maturity.

Unfortunately, this caused the pride to almost die out before their instincts found other males no longer a threat. The pride grew once more before the largest cub known to the pride was born. The night of the birth of the cub there was a massive storm, it was as though the heavens themselves had opened up and released all of the anger onto those left on the ground. Lightning struck close to the home of the pride continuously through the birth of the cub, the thunder so loud that many of the pride roared out their anger through the night adding the noise, and the rain flooding much of the forest.

The gods looked down on the pride in favor and none of the lions were lost that night. When the cub was finally born the sun rose. The years went by and he continued to grow and be the largest of his pride. His mane was as dark as the blackest night and darkest storm clouds, while the rest of the coat was golden as the sun. The cub enjoyed his life with his pride, knowing that one day he would be able to contribute and be a part of the hunt. Much of the pride though would ignore him or swipe their paws at him. He did not understand why, not knowing it was because of his mane and his sheer size that sent off many forgotten instincts in the pride. He was the only one in the pride whose mane that was coming in was black instead of the usual red of the pride. This sent off instincts in the females to mate and for the males to fight him. The larger he grew the more of a threat he became.

When he reached his majority unlike the previous years his pride deemed him too much of a threat and he was banished from the pride, all of the males ambushing him and driving him from their territory. He traveled for years never losing a fight and only being injured once almost losing his eye in the process.

A moons times ago the massive lion felt a pull, this pull making it very hard to continue on his journey. He knew this wasn't normal as he had never felt this before. The lion followed the pull to find a girl. The girl's blood was easy to follow, it reeked of power, nothing that he had ever smelled before. He could smell death but instead of frightening the massive animal it brought him comfort.

The instant the girl met his eyes the lion knew that she had to pass the test. He wanted her to pass the test for if she did she would become part of his pride. A pride he would have helped make, one that would not throw him out. He knew this and so he wanted the girl to pass. The girl showed no fear when he released his most powerful roar. Instead, she gave her own in return before coming closer to give another.

The lion bowed his head and when he did the wind picked up slightly and he felt hands run along his body and a feeling of being complete once more filled him, he could almost feel what the girl was feeling, it did not hurt but he knew it was painful to his human. The lion liked this girl but worried because he could smell the sickness that was building and growing stronger the longer he traveled by her side.

The now named Nemea protected the girl when she slept but she did not wake. She would whimper in her sleep and no matter how hard Nemea tried too the girl would not wake. He tried to get her up only to have her fall back once more onto the ground and against the tree.

Nemea stood guard and allowed nothing to come close. Three horses arrived and a girl who seemed to ooze the same power as his human was among them. This is Lexa if he remembered correctly and he did. He could smell the overwhelming stench of her fear, but Nemea could tell it wasn't because of him but for his human Kara. She allowed him to smell her and the concentrated smell of the forest and the slight smell of his human from the girl let him know that was, in fact, his human's life mate that she spoke of and so Nemea had a new member of his pride that he would protect.

Nemea allowed the golden-haired one to help his human but when they began to burn his human he almost attacked but his newest member of his pride told him that all would be fine. He made sure to growl his displeasure and show how long his teeth and claws to emphasize what would befall the golden-haired one if something should happen to his life partner.

When Kara awoke the stench of her sickness made Nemea paw at his nose and his stomach turn. His human fainted before any damage could be done and then Lexa brought him to his new territory. He would not let them be far from him because he would protect the females of his pride.

Nemea knew that this Lexa had her own companion, but the four-legged animal could not protect her not like he could. He did not like the lift for the sensation of going upward was new and a terrifying experience that he hopes is not shared with his life companion when she wakes.

Nemea did not like the no haired man for he tried to keep him locked in the stables with the other four-legged creatures and try and send the golden-haired one away, but his human's life mate started yelling.

The bald headed one started to smell of fire and his face started to turn slightly red, the fur on the back of Nemea's neck began to rise and the bottoms of his fangs became visible. He pushed his way between Lexa and the other man releasing a rumbling growl that sounded low in his throat changing his scent quickly from anger to the bitter scent of fear, taking a step back as well. Nemea did not like the way the brown-haired woman smelled, it was no longer pleasing but full of guilt and anger. This man was not allowed to threaten her and he needed to leave.

Many different two legs came to the room after that, a couple smelling strongly of herbs and began to work on his human. Anytime she would give a moan of pain Nemea was quick to remind them who she was protected by. Lexa always seemed to be very amused when he did this, though she seemed to smell largely of fear and would often run her hands through his main as the others worked.

Hours later the only ones left in the den was him and his small pride. Lexa pulled a chair up next to the bed and held Kara's hand while her other hand continued running through her hair. Nemea sat and watched her before overwhelming sorrow seemed to break across her face and the salty smell of tears filled the air. Nemea didn't like this and let his displeasure known by pushing his head deep into Lexa's side and releasing heavier puffs before getting on the bed and laying on the other side of Kara and placing his head on her stomach with enough pressure he knew wouldn't hurt her. Keeping Lexa and his life partner is his sights for the rest of the night.

* * *

 _*POV CHANGE (Kara)*_

It was too hot and everything hurt. The sounds of small children and vendors rang in my ears making me confused. I tried to open my eyes but they were too heavy but I think I was safe. I was pressed into a person that was sending pleasant thrums through my body.

I was finally able to open my eyes when I felt the sharp pain in my back when I slightly fell. I met tearful green which caused my heart to ache. I felt slight relief when I felt and heard a purring noise and knew my new companion was still with me. I was still too hot and tired and was pulled back down once more.

This continued for some time, I couldn't tell how much time had passed but I knew that it was more than a couple days. The first time in a while where I felt coherent enough to open my eyes and function I was met with the sight of Titus standing over me.

He jerked slightly seeing my eyes open staring at him. My brain was fuzzy and it was hard to think but I had a bad feeling. He seemed to calm and almost resigned.

"What are you doing here?" My voice sounded very strained.

"I had hoped you would not be awake for this. This is the first time in three days that Heda has left her quarters and your lion went with her. The journey of the Commander is one that you must travel alone and she can't do that with you here. I know that you are the true Wanheda but even you cannot interfere. I am sorry child," his eyes seemed sad and then his arm moved. My eyes looked down and I could see that he had a pillow.

"I honestly did not think you would wake. Your fever became worse after the healers looked at you. Many were saying that you would not make it through the next couple of days. I was able to convince Heda that she needed to take care of a disturbance of the utmost importance with some villagers. She almost didn't leave. She is ignoring her duties to the people and I nor anyone else can afford that with how to alliance is hanging on a balance," he took another step closer to me.

Fear coursed through my body and I could barely move. I tried to push myself away from him but the pain from my back caused me to let out a quiet whimper.

"Titus please she'll know it was you," my voice cracked halfway through. My throat was so dry that it actually hurt to breathe in. Tears clouded my limited vision.

"I am hoping that she believes that you finally succumbed to your fever. I am sorry Wanheda, but it is a choice I had to make for the good of the coalition," Then he was pressing the pillow firmly over my face and his other hand was wrapped tightly around my throat. I had thought I was terrified when I was with Pike but this was different. Then I could at least move but here I couldn't. I tried to scratch him and tear his hands away but I did not do enough damage and did not have the strength needed to pry his hands away. He just increased his grip.

Black dots began to cloud my vision and tears ran down my face. I did not want to die. If this was four months ago then I would have ok with this but I wasn't now. I had someone to love and I did not have enough time with her. My struggles were becoming weaker and as I finally lost the battle for air, the boom of the door thrown open was heard and then the hands disappeared. I sucked in as much air as possible as loud screams filled the room before they were finally stopped.

The roar Nemea released was loud, so loud that my ears rang when he was done. I moved slightly and the sudden pain caused my gasp. Realizing that I had curled myself into a ball and was actually rocking as I continued to suck in air. The loud purring of Nemea sounded behind me but I still did not open my eyes. I started trying to hum to calm myself. The sounds of once upon a dream barely loud enough to be heard over the purring. Something warm was placed in the middle of my back and I knew it was Nemea. My mind wasn't working right and all the voices were still silent.

"TITUS!" Lexa screamed. The sound of hurried footsteps raced through the room stopping slightly away from me.

"Kara! What happened!" Then someone was trying to force me out of the ball I was in but still, I did not move.

My mind was trying to process everything that had just happened but in doing so I only made it worse and breathing became difficult each breath was small and sharp. Black spots flashed behind my eyes before I finally passed out.

* * *

 _*POV CHANGE (Lexa)*_

Kara I had thought was getting better but was instead getting worse. The wounds on her back became infected, many of the cuts now have black veins spreading out from the wounds. Every other hour a fisa would come and change the bandages on her back. The only good news was that the cuts on her face were healing incredibly well and the stitches had already been removed.

Titus had called me from my chambers telling me that a village leader by the name of Semet needed to speak with me. That he and others from his village had already been waiting 4 days and while I knew that I was shirking my duties as Heda the thought that if I left and returned to find her gone made me sick. After arguing for many minutes over it I finally agreed to speak to this Semet. Nemea insisted following me from the chambers and would not listen when I told him to stay with Kara he just huffed and pressed his large head into my head causing me to fall back slightly before waiting by the door. When we left down the hall he made sure to stop and show all his teeth and growl loudly to both guards and then followed behind me.

Which brings us to the present with Semet demanding justice from Skaikru. I was deeply shocked to see Octavia there as well because I believed her to be at the outpost we had left not in the custody of a village leader.

"Skaikru killed my sons. And my brother. And my wife! If the spirit of the Commander will not protect us, then what Will!" He yelled at me.

I gripped the armrests on the throne tightly. Nemea released his own growl at the man.

"You mind yourself when you speak to me Semet," I coldly told him.

"WAMPLEI GON HEDA!" Semet roared and then charged at me. I readied myself but it was not necessary. A roar was released as Nemea jumped forward swinging his claws hitting the man across the face. A loud snap was heard and the man fell to the ground as a pool of blood quickly formed around him. Nemea went to jump on the man only to stop as he prepared to leap and cocked his head to the side as though hearing something only he could hear.

A hiss escaped his lips before he jumped over the dead body on the floor and tour off out of the room almost breaking the doors in his need to escape.

"Guards follow me!" I shouted at them, then gave chase after the massive lion. My stomach twisted into knots following the small path of destruction Nemea left. He crashed through different tables that sporadically spread out across the hallway. A loud crash was heard around the corner and then screams filled the air. The screams were familiar and sounded like Titus. A different type of roar was easily heard this far away. _(A/N: look up lion fights if you want to know the noise that is happening. Sounds kind of like a gurgling roar.)_

The screams were quickly silenced and then a roar so loud it echoed down the halls and I could feel it in my chest.

"TITUS!" I screamed.

My heart clenched, and I knew that he had tried to do something that he should not have. I rounded the corner sliding on the stone slightly and then raced into my room. My heart stopped at seeing all the red in the room. Nothing was spared. Titus was long passed the point of being saved and was already dead.

His throat was ripped open, much of it was actually missing. His torso was caved in and torn to shreds by Nemea's claws. Titus' left arm was only attached by a little tissue while his right arm was completely on the other side of the room, almost like it was thrown. I felt cold dread well up inside of me and another small part of me sad to see the loss of another mentor and teacher of mine.

Looking up I see that Kara has pulled herself into a ball and Nemea has his nose pressed into the middle of her back while he was loudly purring. The golden fur is now red and is oddly the perfect mix between red and gold while his main is so dark that one could not tell that it was soaked in blood and the only reason you knew it was there was because of how it seemed wet in the light.

"Kara. What happened?" I finally managed to ask her but the only response I received was her humming or she hummed louder. The song was the one she liked to hum to sleep and it was the only one she ever really sang. I made my way over to her ignoring how my boots sounded on the wet stones.

The humming started to become erratic and when I was able to pull her out of the ball she had been curled in, her eyes were blown wide and the red was barely visible. Her breathing picked up and then her eyes rolled into the back of her head, her whole body going limp. Nemea made a loud keening noise that caused my chest to tighten.

I lifted her up with my arm supporting her neck and the other holding up her knees. I turned around and moved to the entrance of the room, stopping at the entrance of the room I order the guard to find someone to clean the room before walking away to the room that Kara used to use before I moved her into my rooms.

I placed her on the bed before stalking out of the room once more. Making sure that Nemea stayed in the room and he made no move to follow, instead, he jumped on the bed and sat at the end and kept his eyes on the door.

"I want two guards at these doors at all times and the only ones allowed in are Clarke or I. No one else is allowed entry and if I find if someone other than Clarke or I were in these rooms then I will kill both of you for going against a direct order. Do you understand?" I ask the guards at the door.

"Sha Heda," both bowing their heads slightly.

The throne room doors made a loud bang when I threw them open. The power of the Heda coursing through my veins giving the slight increase in strength needed to successfully throw the doors. All the different ambassadors stopped talking as I stalked to my throne throwing myself down. As soon as I actually sat down everyone began speaking once more, all trying to drown out the others in their need for answers.

I lift my hand slightly and all the noise stops once more.

"Titus just tried to kill Wanheda. His fight is now over. Know this he will be labeled a traitor for the attempted murder of our Wanheda. Let this be a warning to all that if you attempt to hurt either I or Wanheda you will be met with the fangs of Nemea or the steel of our blades."

When I finished speaking they all broke out speaking and yelling over each other once more. I knew it would be awhile before everything calmed down and just gripped the sides of my throne harder to not snap and yell at everyone present.

* * *

 _*POV CHANGE (Kara)*_

 _The sound of laughter was loud and mocking and sounded as though the person was right behind me. I tried to turn my head but found I could not move. Every part of me was paralyzed. My breathing started to pick up and I continued to tell my body to move only for it to continue to ignore me._

 _Then something hot began to slowly drag down my back, each touch slowly moving only to prolong the pain. I closed my eyes and bit down hard on my tongue to keep myself from screaming though I wanted to terribly._

 _Finally, it stopped after too many cuts and touches to count. The laughing finally stopped but I kept my eyes closed feeling as silent tears ran down my face. I wanted to go home. I wanted to be in Lexa's arms again. I wanted anything but to be here._

" _Open your eyes child," the voice was gentle, the tone soothed my frayed nerves slightly._

 _I finally opened my eyes and came face to face with death. "I want to go home," I whisper to him. My voice sounded small and timid, a small part of me realizing I haven't sounded like this since I was a small child._

" _Then we shall," Death told me. He lifted his hand, the white bone gleaming in the light and snapped his fingers._

 _I was in bed now. I didn't feel any more pain and enjoyed how the furs felt on my skin. I tentatively took a breath in to smell the room and a sob broke free from my chest. Lexa's natural smell permeated the room and crashed into my senses. All the stress of the past couple days was slowly released. I grabbed a pillow and forced it over my face trying to get as much of her smell as possible._

 _A bony hand grabbed hold of my shoulder as I tried to stop myself from sobbing. After a couple of minutes, I was able to stop myself._

" _I am sorry for what happened child. You have proved yourself though and stayed strong like the warrior you are meant to be."_

 _I hugged the pillow further into me, knowing that when I woke up everything wouldn't be as easy and pain-free as it is here. That when I woke that I would most likely still have a fever and my back would still be in enormous amounts of pain, not even including my face._

" _What happens now?" I turned and looked at the being. The sound of shifting bones is heard as his head tilts to the side. His glowing red eyes seemed contemplative which put me slightly on edge._

" _When you wake, you will have moved past your fever and all infected wounds will be almost healed. I have put you in a healing sleep, figuring that this would be a good apology for what you had to endure so that the deaths of many could be avoided. You have brought the mantle of Wanheda proud. If you continue on the path you are on, you should succeed in your goals. Good luck child."_

 _At those words, everything began to fade away to black and I slept on with no other dreams or nightmares._

* * *

The first thing I felt when I woke up was that I felt very sticky and gross. I moved my arms slightly and could feel the strain on my muscles, knowing that laying in a bed with a bad fever had done me absolutely no favors. I slowly opened my eyes and stared blankly at the ceiling.

"This is not my ceiling," I mumble out. My throat burned and my voice sounded exactly how I thought it was going to. It was very rough and cracked on the first and last word. Something gripped my right hand tighter before relaxing once more.

I turned my head slowly hoping that the small pain in my head wouldn't worsen from this small movement. I was met with a gorgeous sight. The sun was coming in through my window and was hitting Lexa's hair at the perfect angle that her brown hair almost glowed. Her face was relaxed, lips slightly parted as she lightly breathed in and out. She had dark bags under her eyes from lack of sleep and guilt quickly filled me knowing that she was missing out on her precious sleep because of me. The shifting of something at my feet made me look to the end of the bed and I was met with the sight of two green eyes that told me how relieved that I was finally awake, a soft purr then filled the air.

I slowly took my hand out of hers, her fist tightening and kept clenched as her face contorted into a grimace. I lifted my hand up and started to slowly run my hand through her hair, her face relaxing the longer I did. This continued for some time and by the time she started to move and opened her eyes the sun was close to setting.

I continued to run my hands through her hair as she stared at me and I watched as tears formed in her eyes. I stopped and just grabbed her hand and gave it a hard pull.

"Join me," I softly told her. She just nodded her head slightly, lifted the covers up, and crawled into the bed with me. I was easily able to ignore the stretching of my back when I pulled her into my side. Relishing in the feeling of having her in my arms once more. I pulled her tighter to my side and as her arms wrapped around me I started to cry as well.

We both continued to cry until we fell asleep once more. I didn't dream but it was some of the best sleep I had had in awhile.

* * *

The next time I awoke it was to Lexa placing soft kisses on my neck and slowly worked up the side of my neck to my jawline before she shifted her body and straddled me. Her pupils were blown wide as she gazed down at me. Her hand started to slowly trace lines on my face before lightly touching the new cuts to the left side of my face. I didn't feel her hand catch or disturb any of the scabs and slowly I reached up and touched them only to feel smooth scar tissue.

"How long was I sick for?" my voice sounds fearful, already I knew that I would not like the answer.

She continued to lightly touch my face as she spoke. "You awoke three days after we had brought you back to the capital. Then you were moved to this room when the previous became unusable. You have slept for 8 days. Now, Kara, I need you to tell me what happened while you were captured and with Titus," her voice was soft but her eyes were as hard as steel.

I lightly touched her hips and moved her off me, she let out a slight whine but I ignored it and pulled her into my side once more. She didn't complain when I did that and let out a small sigh when I began to play with her hair.

"Well, I guess I should start with what happened in Arkadia. I was knocked out after they used four of those fucking shock sticks on me. God, I hate those fucking things. When I awoke I was chained up and hanging from the ceiling. Pike wanted to know what our army was going to do, the numbers, and leaders. You know me though I am stubborn as hell when I want to be and this was one of those instances. I was able to withstand what he did to my back and the rest of my body but then he cut open my face. He thought…he wanted to know what you would think about them," my voice cracked here. I already knew that Lexa would not care but a small part of me was worried that she wouldn't be able to look at me the same anymore.

The hand that she was lightly running across my stomach stopped and began to slowly trace up my chest before turning my face to look at her. Lexa's face showed all the love that she had for me. Her hand lightly cups my face as I lean heavily into it, keeping my eyes open as I look into her eyes that swim with all the love that she feels for me.

"Kara you are as beautiful as the day I first saw you in that dirty cell. This changes nothing of how I see you. The only thing that changes is how much I love you. You could have told Pike what my plans were, you could have told him everything but you didn't. You are my strong, proud warrior who now looks fierce with her new war wounds. I hope you don't receive anymore but nothing will change the way I see you, my beautiful warrior," her words were full of steel and conviction.

I leaned forward and lightly brushed my lips against hers before pulling back.

"That's good to know," I say as let out a small chuckle. I kiss her lightly once more before I look back at the ceiling.

"Remember how I told you sometimes I become this other person?" When she nods her head I continue.

"Well, she kind of came out and ripped the chains holding her up down. I have no idea where that level of strength came from but after Pike had Abby come to the room and patch me up. I fell asleep when she was working on my back and woke to Bellamy beating the shit out of me. I did not like that and after somehow getting the upper hand beat the shit out of him and left. Getting shot twice certainly was not a fun thing though."

I stopped talking after that and continued to run my hands through her hair.

"What happened with Titus, Kara?" Lexa finally asked after I hadn't spoken for a couple of minutes. I released a heavy sigh and Nemea released a small growl hearing his name once more.

"I woke up very confused and when I looked over Titus was just standing there. He started to talk about how I should not have been awake and that you weren't doing your duty and it was my fault. He hoped that you would believe that the fever finally killed me. Then pressed a pillow to my face and also a hand around my throat. Right as I was about to black out he let go and then started to scream. I am guessing that is when Nemea showed up."

"I knew that he was not happy about what had been happening lately and he was still upset that I was not taking his teachings to heart anymore. I did not think he would have gone to lengths that he did to try and end what he thought was a threat. I am truly sorry Kara. I should not have left you alone. I should have at least made Nemea stay with you," by the time she was done talking her voice had started to crack and she had forced her face in the juncture of my neck.

"Enough serious talk for now," I told her as I forced her face out and when she finally looked at me I continued speaking.

"Now I want to take a bath and I was wondering if you would join me?" I asked as I wagged my eyebrows.

Lexa's pupils dilated, and her smirk turned predatory. "I would love to join you," her voice was lower, and the words were almost purred. Desire rushed through my body as I slowly climbed out of the bed after her, ignoring how I had to slightly limp to the bathroom and my back was very tight. I was too focused on with every step to the bath Lexa was removing an article of clothing. I forced myself to follow faster when her shirt and wraps disappeared and her beautiful tattoo on her back was entirely visible.

* * *

Another five days passed quickly and I was finally back to almost full health as the cuts on my back were now almost completely healed. I was not very happy when I finally got a look and was able to see that though the ink grew over the scar tissue it did not look as beautiful as it did before. Now it looked bumpy and not as smooth, Lexa told me that I was being too critical but I was pissed because I loved the tree. It became a constant reminder that in the course of 6 months I had gone from living in a six by six box and on medication that only let a small part of myself show to a warrior that everyone knew. I had finally found my home and I now had to protect it once more.

Pike and Skaikru had tried to push back the five-mile blockade that had been set up and lost a few of their warriors. We had suffered more casualties, but the blockade was still holding true. I continued to look in the mirror as Lexa finished completing my war paint.

The top part of my face was clear and it was below my cheekbones where the paint started. Starting from my hairline and following along my cheekbones she had created what resembled teeth and had done the same along my jawline. When she had finished she seemed very pleased with herself. The teeth were all curved and I looked very intimidating. I liked that it caused the scars on my face to not stick out as much.

Her arms were wrapped around my shoulders as she stared at me in the mirror with her head resting on my shoulder. "I thought you might like how I made you look like a lion."

I gave her a hum of agreement and leaned my head against hers, my eyes bright as I stared at her. "I love it, ai hodness."

I stood after she backed away and finished strapping my swords to my back, grateful that now the only thing that was still wrong with me was it sometimes hurt if I stretched too far to the side because my ribs were not completely healed yet.

When the final strap of my armor and swords was tight and didn't shift too much I turned back to Lexa who was leaning against the door to our room while petting Nemea who was sitting next to her. His eyes closed as he leaned further into her touch releasing a loud and steady purr. My mind captured this moment and I soaked in the love that I felt running through my body. I was more than grateful that I had Nemea. I could not imagine what would have happened to me if Nemea had not come when he did and for saving Lexa from that asshole Semet, though if I am being totally honest he would not have been able to hurt her anyway.

"Ok, you two I am ready. It is time to beat the shit out of Skaikru and show them that messing with the coalition was not a good idea."

My smile was vicious and promised blood. I wanted my revenge on Pike and Bellamy. Octavia was devastated at what her brother had become and excepted that I would kill him or Lexa would. He and Pike would be two that would not make it out of this fight alive.

Knocking at the door distracted me from the thoughts and when Lexa opened the door the ambassador for Azgeda was standing there and behind him were 4 guards and 2 other men that were holding a box up.

"Heda, King Roan has sent a gift to you and Wanheda for accepting him as the new King and to show his willingness for the coalition. All supporters of the Queen have finally been removed and Ontari has been banished when it was discovered she had orchestrated a plot to kill King Roan," with those words the ambassador bowed his head and then stepped to the side allowing the men carrying to box to enter the room.

Nemea stayed at the door watching everything going on and the only sign of his slight anxiety with this many people in what he considered his domain was the way his tail seemed to snap back and forth.

I walked over and stood next to Lexa as men holding the box removed the metal holding it closed. The wood on the side of the box fell heavily to the floor and what was inside the box caused me to pull my sword out of its sheath quickly.

The man in the box was none other than Carl Emmerson. He had finally been found and I could not have been happier. I still wanted to kill and had not forgotten my promise to the now dead man walking and what was even better was that I had done what I said I would. Every one of his people was dead and gone and he was the last. The last of his murderous people.

The laugh I released was a high cackle and made me sound mentally unhinged as I watched as he rolled himself out of the box and tried to attack me only to be held back by the guards who then knocked his knees out from under him forcing him to fall heavily onto his knees with his own cry of pain.

"We meet again mountain man and this time you won't be able to get away. Unfortunately for me but fortunate for you, we have more pressing matters to attend to and as much as I want to take care of you now we have to be going."

I turned to look Lexa who was in full Heda mode. I crossed my right arm over my chest and placed my fisted hand over my heart and bowed my upper body. "Heda, I formally request that he suffer the death of a 1000 cuts when we return to Polis or whatever punishment you deem fit."

I kept myself bowed and waited for what Lexa had to say. I knew she might suggest he be banished only because now she was trying the whole blood must not have blood. I really wanted to hit Clarke for that but not everyone at Arkadia was guilty.

"Guards place him the cells below the citadel and keep him there till we return. Rise Kara kom Trikru."

"Thank you, Heda," I tell her after I rose to my full height.

"We shall discuss what shall happen to him at a later date but for now we must go. It is time for Skaikru to be punished for its crime against the 12 clans. The full might of Heda and Wanheda shall lay waste to all those responsible."

With those final words, Lexa swiftly turned and left the room. I was quick to follow with Nemea who seemed way too pleased too finally be leaving.

* * *

Sorry for the wait once again. There are only two more chapters left before the story is finished.


	17. Terms and Conditions

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has been reading this story. It means a lot to me that there are those who enjoy it. Sadly, this is one of the last chapters but do not worry because there will be a cheesy epilogue after this. By the way I love people who comment, it means a lot to me that people are even reading the things I write and are actually enjoying them but if you leave a mean comment I am going to respond and if you do have the balls the do it, then do it under an account and not as a guest.

I would like to apologize for the wait. I was having some problems with writing this chapter not because I did not know what I wanted to do it was just going into detail that this chapter needed. Also, I work and now school is back so I am really busy again plus I decided to start two other stories so I have been switching between them all.

 **There will be character death here! I have warned you!**

I own nothing except Kara.

* * *

Chapter Sixteen

Lightning streaked across the sky causing the sky people guards to jump, not prepared for the sudden flash of light in the dark forest. The mission was supposed to be simple. Take out the small grounder outpost that had just shown up two days before. The outpost was nothing special, simply a shitty made stand half way up a tree occupied by one guard.

Pike decided that it would be simple enough to take out the guard and push back the blockade in that area, so that is what the three-man squad was sent out to do. When the team was close enough to confirm visual of the guard they were able to see that it was a dummy. A thing stuffed with straw, the man who went to take the scarecrow down touched the dummy when a spear was thrown from behind the team hitting the man square in the chest.

He dropped the dummy and tried to pull the spear out only for him to fall off of the blind landing heavily on his side. The only sound made after that was the crack of thunder that covered up the scream of the second member as his legs were cut off at the knees. This man also fell to the ground grabbing at his legs as he moaned in pain. The third member turned around his gun raising, as he did only to meet two red glowing eyes. The flash of steel the last thing he sees before his head was taken.

The black-clothed woman took slow steps towards the man who was attempting to crawl away but was becoming too weak from the loss of blood. "Please don't!" He begged the black figure.

"Don't what?" Her voice was raspy and sounded cold. The red eyes glowed brighter as she looked down at the man. Another flash of lightning flashed across the sky and he was finally able to see the attacker. Six lacerations ran down her face and around the lower half of her face was war paint that looked like teeth. Another flash of lightning and he was able to see that her eyes were black and red.

He forced himself further back in his fear to escape this being of death. "I don't want to die yet," he pleaded.

The laugh echoed through the trees, only stopping once thunder sounded through the forest. "Death comes for us all," the woman stalking forward to the man whose scream was cut off by the woman's steel blade.

The woman did not care at all about the loss of these men, knowing that they were there to kill her dummy. "Didn't even try to say hello those assholes," she whispered to herself. She gave the dead man next to her a kick.

"Delta team report, over," a voice crackled through the air. The girl snorted and started to shift around the guard trying to find the radio.

"Delta team, this is Chancellor Pike, grounder activity near your location, over," the radio crackled once more as the girl finally found the radio.

"Mission Compromised," she reported back.

"Who am I speaking to?" his voice was calm.

"Oh, I think you know. You know you should have really controlled your dogs better Pike. Didn't even try to say hello. They got too far ahead of themselves," with that she released a loud snort and became to cackle.

"You survived?" the shock was clear in his voice.

"Of course, I did. I am Wanheda, Pike. You may have started this war with your act of stupidity, but I can sure as shit tell you that it will be me who finishes it. Be careful who you send out next time. This is only the beginning Pike. You have a lot to atone for and I will make sure you are punished for your crimes against my people," with those words the girl dropped the radio and smashed it under the heal of her boot.

A girl cut off the first man's head and threw it over to where the other two bodies were before ripping the spear out of the one man's chest. She threw the spear next to the heads as well and then walked over to her tree, climbing high into the branches were the rest of her items were and after rifling through her pack finally found the bag she was looking for before throwing the bag over her shoulder and then jumping down to the wet forest floor. The girl began to hum a song under her breath as she began to work wanting to leave a present for Pike in the morning.

 _*POV CHANGE (Pike)*_

A knock sounded through Pike's office door, without looking from the map and was not surprised to see Bellamy walk through the door. He still had dark bruising that covered his face and his nose was now slightly crooked. That monster of a girl Kara had broken two of his ribs and even broken his ankle from how strongly she had twisted his foot.

I was surprised at the brutal beating that had been delivered to him but once he had finally described what he had done to her before she had escaped made a lot more sense. When she fell off the cliff I was more than happy that that psychopath was finally dead, she was too dangerous alive and because she was not even fighting for the ark had made her more of a liability.

What Bellamy had described of the relationship between Kara and the Commander they were close and the reaction she had when I even mentioned her name solidified what he had told me. With her death, I had hoped that it makes the Commander weak and I had planned to send the Commander Kara's body. It was certainly a terrible thing to do but these grounders need to know that we mean business and that this is our land now. It was obvious that they didn't care by this creation of the blockade.

Then her god damn voice had come over that damn radio and all the hopes that her death would create were for nothing. I should have known that they knew something. The grounders were finally moving and showing signs of not backing down in the past three days before that it a week and a half of where they were being pushed back slowly but surely. It seems now that this was only a ruse. The past three days we have lost all the ground we have taken and there was the talk of a black cloaked figure who would come and attack our small patrols. They spoke of a lithe figure who carried one black and one white sword. She needed to be handled and handled quickly.

"Sir you are going to want to see this," Bellamy finally spoke. I could see the anger that was hidden in his eyes and it instantly put me on alert.

"See what son?"

"The grounders left something at the edge of the forest within the last 20 minutes," his back was now straight as he looked at me instead of the slightly hunched look he just had.

"Did you at least shoot the grounder?"

"No, sir. They had it attached to a spear that they threw from the safety of the forest."

I released a heavy sigh. I had a feeling that I knew what we were going to find, it was too much of a coincidence that Kara attacks the squad sent and then they throw something out of the forest barely 30 minutes later. I stalk out of my office and make my way to the front gates, when Bellamy and I finally make it out to the gate a guard had returned with the spear and my stomach turned when my eyes landed on the spear.

The wood of the spear was red from blood and some of it seemed to still be fresh. The dog tags of the guards were tied onto the spear and the words 'Fuck You' were carved into the wood. What turned my stomach was a light-colored bag that was now a deep red and I already knew what is in the bag. A small part of me was amazed that she had been able to throw the spear with the bag of heads, but she had been able to pull the chains from the ceiling.

Wallace turned opened the bag and dropped it to throw up when the bag fell Derk's head rolled out of the bag. This caused many to start to gag and many others to start yelling for the death of the grounders responsible. "EVERYONE QUIET!" I yelled.

"If you see any grounder, especially if you see Kara you kill them! If you kill Kara I want her body! You will bring it here! If you can, bring her to me alive!"

I just had lost three more men to that wretched girl. I turned back to Bellamy "You will bring me three of the Trikru that we have in lock up and you bring them here now!"

Bellamy scrambled to follow my orders taking two other men with him. I opened the gate and marched out taking my gun out of its holster as I went. I raised the gun in the air and fired off a couple rounds. If I knew Kara the way I did then she would still be around hiding somewhere in the trees wanting to see what kind of chaos she left in her wake.

Bellamy brought out three Trikru villagers and they were not in the best of shape. Due to the blockade, they have only been given food once a day to help consolidate our resources and over the last week and a half, one meal a day was certainly taking effect. One of the ones that he grabbed was one of the sickest that had been in the sick bay and looked that she was knocking on death's door.

The prisoners were brought in front of me and forced to their knees, all three of them had fear in their eyes and seemed confused to be there. I turned back to the woods "YOU CAUSED THIS KARA!" I screamed out. At the edge of the woods, I was able to see something move just within the foliage and I knew that it was her already.

I turned back and fired my gun off three times, each bullet finding its mark within their skulls and they all fell to the side. I felt nothing for their deaths, knowing that it was either them or us and it sure as hell wasn't going to be my people. You would think that Kara would agree and side with her own people but she had turned against them with her stupidity that came from fucking the Commander.

A scream echoed through the woods and across the clearing. My head turned to be greeted with the sight that I wanted, that of Kara sprinting towards me. I lifted my gun up to fire a shot at her only to shocked still. An utterly massive animal came charging after Kara after releasing a roar of its own, even from this far away I could feel it in my chest. I had never seen a lion that large or any animal that large for sure. I prayed that the animal would kill her and that it somehow didn't follow her command.

The lion released another truly massive roar as it chased after her but instead of running past Kara the lion pounced on her and grabbing the back of her armor and dragging her back to the woods. Kara tried to escape the grip of the lion but only succeeded in taking longer to get back in the woods. She continued to scream, but she was too far away to hear what she saying but knowing her it was probably about skinning me alive.

"Bury the bodies and from now on any guard who goes out on patrol will do it with 4 others. This should be enough to not be overwhelmed seeing as three isn't enough of a deterrent. I want a group of you to go out and track her she isn't that far but try and take her out from a distance. If that massive beast is hers then I don't want, you near enough for it to hurt you."

A group of about 8 men stepped forward and shouted yes sir before running through the gates, apparently, they already had the gear they needed and took off at a jog to catch her. Looking down at the bodies I couldn't help but grimace. Such a waste of life but they are grounders and not my people. Pike turned and walked back within the walls of Arkadia to go over plans of attack with all the other leaders.

* * *

 _*POV CHANGE (Lexa)*_

I could kill her. No, maybe I would when I saw her again. I know that I should not be shocked at this behavior but I still am. Kara was told by the healers that she was still not a hundred percent and should try and take it easy. She listened for half a day before slipping out of the tent with all her armor and gear, as well as taking Nemea with her to god knows where.

This was two days ago and oddly enough when she left she took almost half the supply of straw and grain we had brought for the horses. I can only imagine what she would even need that much for. I had gotten slightly worried because earlier in the morning after the rain had stopped because I had heard reports of an increase in the presence of the sky people as they tried to push past the blockade or at least expand past their 5-mile circle.

The massive push that my warriors had done in the past week and a half was extensive only due to the fact that they had allowed the Skaikru to push back the lines on all sides by a mile and was the first thing I had fixed when I had arrived, that and lose Kara.

I swear sometimes she is like a small child and I was extremely worried about her mental health because she has been having nightmares of her time with Pike. She tried to pretend that she wasn't, but she always awoke in the middle of the night covered in sweat and breathing heavily. Anytime that I would try to get her to talk about it she would distract me and would usually leave me feeling deliciously satisfied.

A scout barged into my war tent and bowed his head once before straightening. "Heda I bring word from Arkadia. Early this morning a spear was thrown into the clearing close to the entrance with a bag attached. I do not know what was inside, but it caused many to react violently. Then Pike executed three of our people at which point Wanheda came charging out of the tree line only to be stopped by Nemea. She is currently being pursued by 8 Skaikru. I was able to catch up with her to give assistance but instead, she sent me away and told me she had it before sprinting off. The next time I tried to follow she fired an arrow at me and said if I did not stop then the next would be in my leg. I am sorry Heda," with those words he bowed his head once more.

"What direction was she heading in?"

"East, towards the mountain."

"Leave me," I ordered him. He quickly left the tent. I turned to look at Indra who seemed in one word annoyed. She had been in that mood since Kara had snuck out of camp and I already knew that Kara was going to get smacked around when she returned especially after hearing this.

"That girl I swear is even more hard-headed than you. You would think that after everything that happened that she would want to stay close to you for a little while but No. No, she had to go run off and apparently instigate the Skai people even more. They just killed three of our people for whatever it is that Kara has done. The better question now is should we try and find her, or should we let her do what she needs to," Indra spoke from beside me as she peered at the maps resting on the table.

"I know she could handle it but after how badly she was injured and how sick she was I am concerned that eight might be too many for her to handle but she does have Nemea," I responded back.

"She will be fine Heda but how are you? I do not mean to overstep but you are not looking too well these days. I haven't seen such darkness under your eyes since you lost Costia," Indra's voice was soft and caring. Her eyes shown bright with her concern.

"I do not know how I am. I am trying to keep myself from losing the precious amount of control I have on this coalition before it breaks apart. I am lucky I don't have to worry about replacing Titus, thanks in part to your daughter but with Kara? I am not sure what I should do. She continues to go off and do things that will most likely result in her death and part of me terrified that maybe she does, in fact, wish to pass from this life," my final words are almost whispered. Indra grasps my shoulder with a strong grip.

"Maybe you should tell her this?" with the final word she leaves the tent.

* * *

 _*POV CHANGE (Kara)*_

 **I hope you know that this is perhaps of the dumbest things you have done in a very long time, Kara.**

'This is not the time! And my plan is brilliant!'

The voice didn't respond back, and I continue to sprint through the woods as Nemea runs slightly ahead of me.

I am able to hear the loud sounds the people in pursuit of me made through the woods. It was helping me keep track of them for sure. I knew we were close to where the zoo was. I had never realized how close it was to Arkadia until the first day I had left Lexa's camp.

The arrow I had cut in the tree was coming up, let me know that I was heading in the right direction and to jump. I easily jumped over the small ditch that was hidden behind the downed log that if you did not know it was there or were not paying attention could easily trip you up causing you land awkwardly. I had found it when I had run away when I had heard the roar of that stupid fucking gorilla.

I landed lightly on my feet and continued running. I made sure to slow down slightly so that while they could see me once again they were still too far to shoot. The sound of someone falling to the ground and shout of someone saying 'shit' was hilarious and I didn't stop myself from laughing. The roar of the gorilla sounded off in front of Nemea and I causing me to force myself to a stop. Nemea stopping as well before laying himself on the ground as I quickly climbed onto his back.

"Roar, Nemea," I tell him. Quickly I cover my ears as he releases a terribly loud roar of his own, my chest feeling the vibrations. The sound of tree limbs being snapped as they get closer makes Nemea turn around and run back at a slight angle from the direction we came from.

I look over my shoulder and see the gorilla getting steadily closer. Turning back around I am able to make out the form of the 8 guards who are steadily making their way closer to where we just were.

"Nemea go right!" I shout at him as I lean down further on his back, keeping my hands deeply fisted in his mane, trying to make myself as small as possible and keep myself on his back. He turns sharply right so that we coming at the large group of men from the side. The gorilla easily keeps following us.

Once we are about 20 feet from the group they finally hear something headed there way, all turning and raising their guns. "Turn Left!" I yell again once we are barely 10 feet from the first guard.

Another sharp turn and Nemea speeds off faster than he was before and speeds up slightly once more when we hear the screams of the guards who I am 100% are being torn apart by the gorilla. He doesn't stop and continues to run for close to another 20 minutes before stopping thanking god that the gorilla was too distracted by the guards to chase us instead.

Nemea waits for me to climb off his back before flopping onto the ground panting heavily. I lay beside him as he continues to try and control his breathing slightly. The relief I feel at that dumb as shit plan working is insane, the likely hood of it not working was unbelievably high and I know Lexa would have killed me if I had died. She would have brought me only to kill me again, I know it.

"HELL YA! CAN'T BELIEVE THAT WORKED!" I shout out to nothing and slap Nemea on his side. He releases a loud growl and bats a massive paw at my leg with enough force causing me to fall heavily to the ground on my back.

Nemea started releasing some weird ass huffing noises while eyeballing me. The bitch's eyes were gleaming with mischief and I knew he was laughing at me. My eyes narrow in anger and the inner child that I am stuck my tongue out at him and he just closed his eyes once more and we continued to lay there and soak up the warm sun.

The crack of a stick further in the tree line caused me to shoot up and Nemea to release a small growl. I wasn't able to see anything, but another crack of wood forced me to take my swords off my back and caused Nemea to stand up as well, his teeth bared, and the hair raised along the ridge of his back. My eyes felt cold and I could feel the adrenaline coursing through my body once more forcing me awake.

Two dark shadows moved about 25 feet into the tree line and seem to be getting closer before I realize that they have dark clothing on but its armor and I can finally hear the slight swish of a war skirt. They pass through a line of sunlight and I can see that it is Lexa and behind her is the tall form of Ryder who I have not seen since Mount Whether. Cold fear goes down my back when Lexa's eyes lock into mine. I take an involuntary step back.

In one word to describe what I saw was extreme anger and irritation. Then she increased her pace and the fire in her eyes lit as I started to slowly back away. Even Nemea was on board with my fear as he slowly slunk back into the tall grass and I barely contained the snort because that dummy was to damn tall to pull that off.

"Kara! Stop right there!"

Oh god. She was going to kill me. I frantically started to look around and I finally spotted a low hanging branch that I could use to climb with. I broke off into a sprint and didn't even think about stopping when she yelled my name again.

I leaped up and grabbed the branch pulling myself up into the branches. I slowly made my way up and could only look down in horror when I see that Lexa is standing at the bottom of the tree looking up at me. "Kara, you are only making this worse for yourself. Get down here right now! I let you run around for three days and I am now done!"

I had no idea that Lexa had an accent because I had never heard it before but oh god. I wanted to hear more and I really shouldn't be turned on by how angry she is but I am so tempted to come down.

 **If you go down you will die. I love my share of drama but she looks like she wants to tan your hide.**

'I mean…it couldn't be that bad right?'

"KARA!" she roared.

 **No, she is going to fucking kill you.**

'Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!'

"I um… I don't think it is in my best interest health wise to come down right now," I tell her as I climb up another couple of branches.

"Kara mockery is not the product of a strong mind," her voice is as hard as steel.

I made the mistake of looking at Ryder and he has a fucking small grin on his face. He knows my ass is grass as well. I quietly whimper as I look back at Lexa.

"At least explain to me what did you do the eight men following you, since you feel the need to hide in the tree like a child," her voice sounds so condescending and mocking. Nemea is absolutely no help to distract her and is still hiding in the grass. His continues to flick back and forth between Lexa and me like he was watching a tennis match.

"Well do you remember the Pauna? She killed them," she releases a hiss that is loud enough that I can hear it almost 30 feet up into the tree.

"Kara, please. Please tell me you did not go anywhere near that thing," her voice was now strangely calm and ice-cold fear shot down my spine. I was tempted to climb further up into the tree. I had about 10 more feet I could climb safely before the branches couldn't hold my weight anymore. If I dropped my pack and armor made I could make it 15 feet? I am so tempted too though.

"I may have but she didn't get close. Nemea was with me the whole time anyway!" I yell the last part and point a finger at him.

It was still weird to know how smart he was because a loud snort was released when I pointed my finger at him. When Lexa turned her pointed stare at him he tried to sink further into the ground before she turns to look at Ryder. "Ryder go back to camp. Thankfully we aren't too far from here."

He seems to consider her words before nodding his head and with a quick yes, walks away. Then it is just Lexa and me still in the small clearing. I am not counting Nemea because he seems to slowly be slinking away why her attention was focused on me. Little fucking traitor.

Lexa's face then seems to a total 180 because her face drops and she looks like she about to cry. I can even see the tears beginning to form, making her green eyes shine. Her shoulders then followed and drooped as well.

I start to quickly climb down the tree, barely taking the time to make sure that I am being careful.

 **YOU IDIOT IT IS TRAP!**

I stop about 15 feet from the ground only for my right foot to slip slightly and I wasn't prepared enough for the sudden loss of my footing and fell the rest of the way to the ground. I lost the breath in my chest from the fall when I landed heavily on my back. I wheezed on the ground and tried not to think that now I could not run away and that thankfully I didn't hurt myself further. My vision started to black out slightly due to the suddenness of the fall and landing on the swords and tough armor.

The sound Lexa's boots make as they walk closer is like someone is ringing bells at my funeral. I close my eyes, so I don't have to watch my death, the sun that way shining behind my eyes is then blocked out and my face bunches up in a grimace.

"Get up Kara," her voice rolls over me like the voice of death.

"I would honestly rather stay on the ground here and you can kick the shit out of me," I almost whisper out.

"Kara stand up now. I am ordering you as Heda."

"Shit."

I slowly roll onto my stomach and stand up but keep my back to Lexa before I finally grow the balls to turn around.

 **Should have stayed in the tree. You need to think straight.**

She continues to stare at me and I have honestly never felt so small in my life before. I can only think about how instead of staying in the camp like I should have I ran away. I didn't even leave a note and just left when she had told me she had a war council meeting.

"Two weeks ago, I almost lost you and one of the last things I said to you was making you a prisoner again. Then Clarke had returned, and you weren't with her. I had nightmares of waking up and instead of finding Costia's head I would find yours Kara and that was even if I could sleep. Then to make matters even worse I found you, Kara, after I had been told you had most likely died. I found you looking like you had been beaten close to death and cut to shreds. Do you know what that is like? Just try and imagine what I felt and went through," her voice was strong but it waivered at the end. I was feeling like such a piece of shit right now.

"After finding you and bringing you back to Polis, I was once again told that I would lose you and this time I would have to sit there and watch it as it happened. And I did. I watched as you slowly descended into this fever and you would cry out in pain from not only your wounds but things only you could see. I had to listen as you cried out for me to help you. You would scream out sometimes for your father to save you from your mother. Then condemning him seconds later."

"Then I finally had to leave you because Titus finally convinced me that I had duties to take care of. Titus tried to kill you and if Nemea had not saved you at the last moment you would have been taken from me. The worst part is that I would not have known because the healers would have assumed it was the fever and infection that finally killed you. I would have destroyed Skaikru after that and then given up my command as Heda," the last part was whispered. Her eyes still swam with anger, but I could the vulnerability in them as well and knew if she wasn't still so angry at me she would actually cry.

My heart stopped when she whispered the final part though. The thought of her killed me on the inside and then I realized that this more than just leaving without telling her. It was because once again I had gone off and done something that could have easily ended with my death. I reached the final part of the distance to try and pull her in, but she pushed my hands away. This hurt more than I thought it would.

"I am not done yet."

I can only nod my head and let her continue.

"You were then asleep for another eight days after and then you awoke. The relief I had felt was unbelievable. I was finally able to breathe. I did not feel as though I was being crushed any longer. Then we had to leave the safety of my capital to handle Skaikru and more specifically Pike. You were not even awake a full week and barely considered fully healed by our healers our first day here. You left me once more. This time though there were no honeyed words or promises. You left me with no word and vanished."

"The only reason I knew you were not taken was that you for some reason took almost all the hay and your armor. I figured that you might need the three days for yourself only to hear this morning that you had done something to cause three of my captured peoples death and told you were being chased by eight guards. To finally find you in this grove and then told you went to the Pauna that almost killed us," then her fist flew forward and hit in the face, smashing my nose. The force of her punch was so strong that I went flying back, landing heavily once more on my back.

I rolled back onto my feet, blocking her incoming kick to my head at the same time. I met her eyes once more and her eyes were lighten up with cold green flames. I knew I was going to die. Her first once more struck in the face. The force throwing my head back and I could feel my blood splatter further across my face.

Then the red haze began to crawl over my sight. "LEXA!"

She simply ignored my call and came at me once again, throwing her first forward once more. I blocked the blow and because of her forward motion threw my face forward straight into hers. The blow was strong enough to force her back, but the blow did nothing to stop her rage but instead, her anger seemed to increase and grow. My blood is covered on her face and I seemed to have split her eyebrow from my blow.

"God damn it, Lexa! What is wrong with you?!"

She releases a snarl that sounds like that of a wolf, her body looking as though she wants to jump at me and hit me a couple more times. "YOU!"

That word strikes a blow with me and I stumble back. My anger vanishes, leaving behind just pain. She relaxes her body but her face changes to that of a sneer and it does nothing to alleviate the ache in my chest.

"You have made me this weak thing! I am sick of how weak I have become!" I was once more shocked to silence and it felt like something was trying to rip out my heart with those words. I didn't mean to make her weak. Hell, for once in my life I didn't feel weak and felt that I had power. I had the power to protect myself, to protect myself from those who would want to hurt me.

"What do you mean Lexa? What are you telling me?"

Her eyes seemed to be looking straight into my soul. "You make me weak. I am weak, but I am strong. I now know what I was missing and what I am missing. I thought I would be content with my life after Costia died, that I would be content with being alone and I was. And then? Then I walked into that cell and I was told by the First Heda that I should protect you. I haven't, though have I? We promised each other that we would be more careful and think through our plans to make it back to the other. You have been breaking your promise, Kara. You went and talked to Nia without me, you went to Arkadia with Clarke, got captured and tortured, escaped and then shot, fell off a cliff and then a waterfall, almost died from the infection, almost killed by Titus, and then disappear after you barely were given the go-ahead," she looked down at the ground before releasing a very heavy sigh.

"You keep going off and doing these things like you don't have people who love and care about you. I don't know how much more I can take of you doing this Kara…I really don't," with those she turns and begins to leave the little grove.

I am frozen and can hear the blood pounding in my ears. I am crying but am making no noise as I watch her walk away. I can see her shoulders shake a little and know she is crying too and then I am moving. My small steps quickly turn into leaps as I eat up the distance between us and smash myself to her back, wrapping my arms around her waist and pull her strongly against my chest and bury my face into her neck. Her entire body had stiffened the instant my arms wrapped around her and I ignored how that hurt even more.

"I know I fucked up. I never took into account what you were feeling. To how you were handling all of this. I didn't even think about you in all of this. I haven't had anyone to love for a very long time and even longer having people who actually cared about my safety. I am so So sorry Lexa. I love you and I pray you forgive me for what I have done…please," I whispered into her neck. At my last word her body finally relaxed and then she began to turn till her head was pressed in under my chin.

"I never even thought about you when I left. I only thought of getting back at Pike, but I never thought of you but Lexa you are the Commander. You need to let me do this as much it pains me to cause you any distress. I won't have any peace till he has been taken care of. He puts at risk everything that you have worked your life to create. I can't allow you to handle this. You are the Commander of the 13 clans but one is now in open rebellion and I know I can take care of Pike. Once he is gone then everything will fall back into the proper order. So, Lexa, you need to let me do this."

Lexa pushed me away and began to pace before stopping and standing in front of me once more. "Kara if your plan is to run around and kill a guard here and there you will not get far. I need an actual plan. If you give me an actual plan then I shall allow you to do this and if you do not then you Will be coming back to camp with me and will work with me and my generals," her face was hard and I instantly knew that if I did not agree then she would beat me into the ground, tie me up, and then leave me in her tent. Not in a good way at all either.

I ripped my bag off my back before dumping the whole bag onto the ground because I could not see the vial that was needed. "I spent the last three days working on my accuracy with my longbow. I have gotten to the point where I can hit a target from almost 1,000 feet away with pinpoint accuracy but see the problem I was having is that Pike never leaves the camp and if he hadn't killed those villagers I would have shot an arrow but he killed them in front of me and I lost control. I found an Azgeda camp. I never realized how intricate their poison supply was."

 _(A:N/ A Mary Rose replica longbow can shoot an arrow and have it hit from that far away)_

"What do you mean you found an Azgeda camp?" her voice dripped with venom.

Her voice caused me to drop the vial that I had just picked up to examine. "What do you mean?"

"I believed I told you to stay away from that tribe till I was positive that they weren't going to attempt another coup."

"They did not know I was there, till I came back later to ask about all the poison I borrowed from them," I whispered quietly when I finally found the white opaque liquid filled vial.

"We will discuss in a minute how that is in no way a thing you are allowed to do. My people know that you are Trikru, but you need to let them know and they would have let you have what you needed."

I nodded my head before handing the vial over.

"What is in this Kara? I don't recognize this one."

"It comes from the Rosary Pea. That vial you are holding can kill more than half of your army. I am going to hit him with an arrow that has been dipped in this. The best part is I snuck in and talked to Doctor Griffin and she said she had never encountered a poison like it. She has no way to cure a person if they are hit poisoned by it. It's perfect!"

"I won't lie that is actually a great idea. Then once he dies then Kane takes control and he would give all those responsible to us for justice. While I am far from pleased with what you have done, the fact that Azgeda has this is certainly worrying."

She gently handed the liquid back to me before pulling me into a hug, taking a deep inhale before leaning back and her lips gently touched mine in a soft kiss. Her hands lifted up and caressed my face before gripping my face tightly. "How many days does it take for the poison to kill a grown man?"

"Not long at all. I would just poison their water supply or some of their food but I don't want to kill anyone more than I need too."

Her eyes narrowed. "You have four days. Do you understand? I am only giving you this because of what occurred today. In four days I will come and find you if you do not show back at my camp. Do you understand?"

"I promise. You just keep yourself all sexy like it in our tent."

Lexa in no way agreed with my statement and punched me as hard as she could in my arm.

"Fuck!" shaking my arm out trying to get the feeling to come back.

"Why?" I whined out.

"I am the Commander Kara. What makes you think I am just going to sit in my tent like a small weak child?"

"I hadn't meant it like that I promise. I should have known it was a bad thing to say but you are so beautiful that I can't help myself sometimes," then I swoop in and kiss her hard. Instantly demanding entrance with my tongue, bringing my hands up and gripping her hair in my hands pulling her further into me. Lexa fought before she finally returned with equal force. She grabbed my face rubbing her thumbs on my cheeks.

I pulled back and rested my head against hers, both of us breathing heavily. Lexa continued to lightly rub her thumb against my cheek. Her pupils were blown wide and she had a small smile on her face which made me smile.

"You are so beautiful my little raccoon. In four days time, I will return," her eyes saddened before flashing with determination and anger.

"If you do not show within four days. I will hunt you down myself, you will not test me further than you have Kara," she then pressed her lips to me once more before turning her back and leaving the clearing, passing Nemea on her way out.

She stopped, grabbed his face as well, whispered some words and then kissed his nose. Then continued walking, her hand trailing over his back as she walked past, finally disappearing into the thick foliage. I released a heavy sigh and looked at the sky.

Rolling my shoulders, a couple times then turned and left the clearing Nemea following at my side.

* * *

The girl crouched in the tree, high in the canopy easy hidden within the foliage. The arrow glistened when the flash of lightning lit up the sky. A group of six guards finally crossed into the clearing, she calmed her breathing down, took a deep inhale, and released on the exhale. The arrow flew true digging deep into the Asian woman's shoulder through the Kevlar vest she was wearing.

The dark-haired young man with a slight limp began to quickly shout orders to the other men, all of them surrounding the woman on the ground. The girl in the tree grinned, red eyes glowing in the dark of the night. She grabbed another arrow as another flash of lightning lit the sky. Releasing when the thunder cracked loudly, this time hitting a guard in the throat. The arrow going through her throat, just as the woman who was hit in the shoulder began to seize.

The dark-haired young man began shouting orders. One of the other guards grabbed the woman like a bride before bolting from the clearing with the others quickly following. Kara just smirked.

I ran through the woods after the group that was running back to Arkadia. I had been following that specific group before the clearing for over an hour and was able to correctly estimate where they would pass. I wasn't entirely sure what they were doing but they were grabbing soil samples and water samples. They had been doing this for a good portion of the day and well into the night, which worked out well for me because it gave me the cover of darkness. Then to my added benefit, it began to lightning and thunder and only a light drizzle.

I had not planned to even follow the group but the woman who was on the cliff with Pike, Monty, and Harper. I was pretty sure that it was Monty's mother but she was acting way to proud when Monty shot me and well I was very good at holding a grudge. She also gave me a prime specimen to test out the poison that I had. It was interesting how quickly the poison kicked in. I knew it worked closely like arsenic and maybe it was the introduction to the bloodstream but it was worth using.

I stopped when I made it the edge of the field where Arkadia was. They had just closed the distance to half. Smirking and pulling off my bow and grabbing an arrow, aimed, making sure to estimate the distance and released the arrow. This arrowhead also having been dipped in poison, hoping that it would hit Bellamy.

The arrow flew in a beautiful ark and I lost it in the darkness of the sky. Then the guard that was to the right of Bellamy fell to the ground, able to clearly see the arrow in the middle of the man's shoulders. My hand tightened on the wooden handle because I was still unbelievably pissed that he was involved in my torture from Pike. I sprinted out into the field, pulling an arrow out and aiming once more. Breathing in deeply and then releasing it along with the arrow.

This time I hit my target, but it was only the back of the arm. Unfortunately, it was not poisoned. I only had two of them and I had saved them for Bellamy and that woman. I had needed the death of at least Bellamy but it seems I would just have to live with hitting him with an arrow.

I quickly turned and hauled ass back to the tree line because I was in clear line of sight from the walls of Arkadia. The only thing going for me and why I was not shot was because it was so dark and I myself was covered in dark clothing, except my left arm from the armor.

I only had two days left and I was tempted to sneak back in to kill Pike. He had not left the camp yet and I had a bad feeling that he was not going to leave anytime soon.

* * *

I had fucked up. This was a terrible decision. It made sense in my mind. Pike had still not left the camp and I was down to barely half a day till I had to return to Lexa and I would not risk my life again by not arriving.

I was currently in the ventilation system lost. I knew that the Chancellor's office was around here somewhere but I was not entirely sure. Slowly I backpedaled in the vent, trying to make as little noise as possible but I knew I wasn't as successful as I wanted to be. I turned left instead of right and as I was crawling forward I was rewarded with the sound of Pike's voice.

'HELL YES!'

"I want her found! I know she is somewhere hiding in the tree line. I have already lost 14 people alone just from her. Then her bitch of a lover has taken out 20 more of our men. Anytime we leave the safety of the walls I lose more men," the sound of something breaking, echoed through the vent. I finally made it to the correct vent to see Pike talking to Bellamy, whose left shoulder was wrapped in a white bandage.

"Honestly sir, I think we are in serious trouble here. She found us when we were out collecting samples. I think we need to push forward with our plans. Send out our heavy vehicles and just mow them down. If we take out Lexa we essentially end their little alliance with the 12 other clans. Once they all start fighting amongst themselves to the get the seat of power, we can take the land we need for our people."

 **Kill them now!**

I pulled the gun from my side. I had gone back the dead guard that they had left and taken it, then taking the bullets out and leaving them all in poison before taking them out and putting them back in the clip. If I wasn't to shoot to kill then they would still die so win-win. I felt the power rush through my body before pulling my fist back and punching the grate with all of my strength.

The grate flew off and I quickly aimed and fired the gun, hitting Bellamy square in the chest, him falling heavily to the ground. The flash of pain from his death was quick before it vanished. I then aimed the gun at Pike as I pulled myself from the grate, landing lightly on my feet.

"I should have known that you would show yourself soon enough. I am sad to see how much of savage you have become. Wasn't he your friend Kara? Don't you feel anything about all the death you bring?" His eyes shifting to the door to my left.

"You went out and killed 300 warriors sent to protect you Pike. I at least had the integrity to kill those that went out with the intent to harm innocents. Your death will at least bring me the peace I need," I hissed at him.

"The peace for your people or yourself? I see those dark eyes, Kara. Does our little chat keep you up at night? Do you think I should have the same little chat with your bitch? Or maybe we could discuss something else?" He grabbed his crotch at his last words.

I was so surprised by his last statement before what he spoke registered in my mind and then my vision turned red. I released a scream and fired the gun. I continued to pull the trigger, firing bullet after bullet into his dead body. When it began to just release a clicking noise I threw the gun at his dead body, hitting him the mess that used to be his head. My anger was hot and ran through my body like fire.

The sound of the door opening caught my attention and I swiftly met a handful of guards. The guard in front took one look at the bodies before raising his gun to point at me. "Put your hands behind your head and lay flat on the floor," he shouted at me.

I backed up some and before he could say anything I threw one of my knives at him, hitting him straight in the throat, the blood pouring past his fingers as he grabbed at the knife before falling dead to the floor.

Fire ripped through my left shoulder from a bullet wound. Putting the pain in the back of my mind, I ripped another knife out of its hiding spot, throwing it once more at the second of the two guards. My aim was off and it buried itself deep into his shoulder about the same place as where he hit me with his gun.

He released a shout of pain grabbing at his shoulder to rip the knife out. He would die from the wound anyway. My knives were all coated in poison. I turned and leaped to the air duct barely managing to pull myself into the shaft. My shoulder screaming out in agony as I slowly began to crawl through the ducts trying to remember the route I had taken to get there.

A loud siren echoed loudly through the air duct, causing me to jump slightly in surprise before I released a hiss of pain from the sudden pain. Turning left I began to crawl faster not caring about the noise I was making because the guards already knew I was traveling through them. Then I finally realized where I was when I spotted the fake door when I passed another vent.

Turning onto my back and thanking that the ducts were so large, kicked with all my strength, sending the grate flying and colliding loudly with the opposite wall. I grimaced at the loud noise before landing lightly on my feet. Lifting up the metal door, pulled myself through before letting it fall down once more. The wet feeling of blood running down my arm caught my attention and I finally noticed how much blood I was losing. My entire left side looked like I had poured an ink pot on myself.

When I finally made my way out, dropping to the ground lightly, I broke into a fast sprint towards to tree line. The alarms were still loudly ringing, almost echoing through the clearing. Lexa was going to be so pissed when I finally got back.

The muffled gunshot caught my attention and then I began to zigzag through the clearing till I finally reached the tree line. I brought my hand up and released a high pitch whistle. The loud roar that answered letting me know that Nemea was close enough to me to allow me to escape quicker.

The gunshot wound was beginning to feel slightly numb and I knew I was slowing down. Nemea came crashing through the brush and released a loud growl when he saw all the blood that covered me.

"Oh, shut up," I tell him before taking off the pack I had attached to his back. Rifling through till I found all my medical supplies. Well more like a lot of cloth and a salve I was supposed to be putting on any new cuts.

Slowly I began to undo the straps holding my armor in place, till finally my chest piece and arm guard fell heavily to the dirt below. Reaching my hand blindly behind feeling for any open wound, finally finding the exit wound, releasing a sigh of relief. I did not feel like digging my finger around trying to pull that thing out.

Unscrewing the lid, I began to put the almost sludge like paste onto both sides of the wound before wrapping some cloth tightly under my arm and around the side of my neck, successfully covering the wound and hopefully slowing the blood flow.

Then once the bottle and all the bandages were put away, tightening my armor on, and throwing the pack across my back. I climbed onto Nemea who seemed relieved to be moving, going off how frequently his eyes kept shifting between me and the direction I had been running from.

"Let's get back to Lexa," I tell him as I pat his side. He took off at a dead run, easily moving and weaving through the trees. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling of Nemea running. You would think that him being such a large animal his running would be harsh and jarring but it was smooth, his whole body moves in continuous motion. His running was slowly rocking me to sleep. The weakness I had been feeling from the loss of blood wanting me to close my eyes and sleep for a while. The steady and smooth motion finally falling away to nothing as he continued to run.

* * *

The pain of falling of Nemea was jarring, causing me to release a cry of pain from landing on my left side.

"Kara!" someone's voice filters through the pain. I crack my eyes open to meet concerned blue, looking past to see livid green.

"Hey Clarke," I sheepishly mutter.

"What happened?" she cried at me, while simultaneously beginning to undo all the straps from my armor.

"Oh god. What did you do now?" she finally asked when she got the chest piece off and saw that my light-colored shirt was covered in my black blood.

"Yes, Kara what did you do now?" Lexa's hard voice asked.

"You can tell her after I look and get this treated," grabbing my hand, hauling me from the floor and pulling me towards the healing tent.

"Who shot you?" Lexa finally asked once I was sitting on a makeshift cot and Clarke was prodding at the wound.

"Well first the good news. Pike is dead and so is Bellamy," Clarke and Lexa both stopped. Clarke's mouth had dropped open and Lexa looked surprised but her eyes were shining with pride.

"Let me guess that's why your shot?" Clarke asked once she got over her shock.

"Yes? Well, I had killed both of them and then two guards came in. I killed one with a knife to the throat but the other got off a shot before I hit him with one of my poisoned daggers. Well, both were poisoned but ya. I was able to get out without further injury though but everyone at Arkadia knows that I killed them. Then I bandaged the wound and Nemea brought me back obviously falling asleep along the way," I mumble the last part with a small laugh.

"That's amazing Kara!" Clarke shouts before pulling me into a hug, carefully avoiding jarring my shoulder too much. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the warmth of her arms around me. Clarke still one of the few people I allow to even get close enough to touch me.

She finally pulled back and examined the wound once more. "You should be alright, the salve you used is the same I would have used anyways. Unless you want to burn it closed but you would still have the same discomfort.

"We can leave it like this for now," smiling at her.

"Clarke, can you leave us?" Lexa's voice cut through the silence that had followed. Clarke's eyes looking between Lexa and me before nodding her head.

"Sure Lexa. Let me know if theirs anything else you need Kara," before leaving the tent.

The silence weighed down heavily upon me, making it slightly hard to breathe. I could see the anger swimming in her eyes as well as the relief but there was now mostly anger.

"I made it back within four days," mumbling as I wring my hands, not meeting her eyes. I had hoped she would have been happy I was back, but I imagine this would have gone differently if I hadn't been shot.

"You did," her voice was calm, but she had a small tilt of her unknown accent come out, which meant she was really mad. The rush of pleasure swept through my body before I squashed it in my fear.

"You will not be leaving camp or my side until this whole matter is resolved and we have returned once more to Polis. Do you understand?" the accent coming through more clearly.

"Sha, ai hodness," I tell her and finally I look up to meet her gaze. Her eyes searched and seemed to find what she was looking for before her eyes relaxed and softened into the look that she only ever gives me.

She stalked forward till she was standing in front of me, where she stopped and looked deep into my eyes. Slowly she raised her hand and cupped my cheek. I couldn't stop myself and leaned heavily into her warm hand. Calming pulses and a pleasant hum ran through my body. All the stress and worry leaving my body.

"I am glad you have returned to me. I had feared that if I had let you go this time I would not see you again," she whispered before lowering and placing her lips lightly against mine.

All reasonable thought left my body. I slowly laid back pulling her with me, till I was laid back and she was straddling my hips. I dug my fingers into her hips, grinding her against me. The moan she released was almost sin fin. Nipping at her lower lip, I finally forced my tongue in. Both of us fighting for dominance, I pulled her closer only to release a hiss of pain when I shifted my shoulder too much.

She pulled back, her eyes dark, the green barely visible as she looked down with concerned eyes. Lexa leaned back onto my thighs, as she lightly touched the new scars on my face before once more cupping my cheek.

"I have missed you. I have missed this. You here with me," running her hand once more lightly over my face. Running across my nose before moving to my cheekbones and then finally running down the scars covering my face.

"I have missed you too, my little raccoon," instead of her getting upset and angry with my statement, she smiled. It was beautiful and lit up her whole face. My love for her growing once more. She slowly shifted forward once more and placed a gentle kiss on my lips.

Then she finally shifted herself off of me and sitting on the edge of the bed just looking at me. Lifting myself up only using my right arm, being very careful with my left, I stared at her,

"I want to sleep. Can I come back to our tent? Or do I have to stay here?" I ask as I tilt my head.

"You may come to the tent. I will join you shortly, a nap sounds wonderful right now but I need to talk to my generals and send word to the other camps about Chancellor Pike's death.," then she places one last kiss upon my lips and leaves the tent.

Standing up with no difficulties, I reach down and grab my armor. Throwing my chest plate over my head and just holding onto my left arm guard.

 **You should extend the metal on the arm to cover more of your left side. You seem to favor getting hurt there.**

"I don't need the sarcasm but I guess it wouldn't hurt to see if I can add more metal armor into the leather but I don't want to ruin the tiger's teeth. It looks to cool to mess with.'

 **That's what you are worried about? Not the fact that you once again were shot in almost the same place? You really need to get your priorities straight.**

'I think it is a perfectly normal thing to worry about.'

The guard at our tent just nodded his head and released a stern "Wanheda," before pushing the flap back allowing me to enter. When the tent flap closed, I released a large sigh of relief and made my way to the bed that was calling my name. Taking note that this is where Nemea went to when I spot him laying on a large pile of furs. He just cracked one green eye open before closing it once more.

I throw the armor down into my chest, taking the bloody shirt off with it, then the pants as well. I knew I was slightly dirty but thankfully because of the rain that had been hitting this area so much the last couple of days it was easy to keep relatively clean. I climbed under the furs and snuggled deeper into the bed. Lexa's piney scent swirling around me and breaking across my senses like a wave does upon the shore. Falling asleep almost instantly.

The shifting of the covers behind me barely registers into my sleep-addled mind, only that Lexa has finally come to me. I roll over and pull her into my grip, ignoring her small laugh, and just throw a leg over before using the limb to pull her closer to me. Thankfully I was laying on my right side and just kept my left arm flung over her.

Lips lightly kissed the crown of my head. "Sleep ai hodness and I shall keep us safe," kissing my head once more and then humming the tune of "Once upon a dream," pulling me further into sleep.

* * *

It took another two weeks for Arkadia to finally turn over all those in support of Pike. The ones that were part of the massacre of the 300 were killed from the Death of 1000 cuts. I apparently killed three of those responsible. The Asian woman I had killed from a poisoned arrow was actually Monty's mother and the guilt I had felt for her death was quickly washed away when I learned she was involved in the massacre as well.

Clarke was coming back to Polis once more as the ambassador and surprisingly took the brand, as well as Doctor Griffin. The grounders who were in attendance actually accepted this and seemed content with what had happened. They cheered my name when Lexa finally announced that I was the one who had killed Pike. Unfortunately, I was banished from Arkadia and something about if I returned then I would be executed but Lexa told in a roundabout way to shove it.

His death seemed to allow my mind to relax and I was once more sleeping well, with only the odd nightmare that would wake me screaming, only for Lexa to smooth away my terror-filled thoughts with hard kisses and touches that always seemed to ground me and bring me back to the present.

Lincoln, I had learned was to be executed the day I had snuck into Arkadia and Octavia finally started to speak to me once more. She, unfortunately, took off for two days when she learned of her brother's death before returning. When I attempted to apologize she told me that the person I killed wasn't her brother anymore. That the brother she knew wouldn't kill innocent people and those that were trying to protect them. Indra taking her once more as her second, knowing that she was being swallowed by her anger. Lincoln had his banishment lifted and was more than happy to stay with Octavia with Indra.

The sky people though were welcomed back into the Coalition were given the warning that if they attempted what they had within the next 10 years then they would be banished from the alliance and have the might of the 12 armies once more at their doorstep.

The ride back to Polis was filled with relief and everyone seemed happier, though a few of the warriors traveling whined about how they had not seen any action at there post. Lexa easily silenced them with a look.

When we finally entered our room once more I fell face first onto the bed, ignoring the slight pain from my shoulder. Thankfully it was healing properly and was almost completely healed, only hurting slightly when I landed heavily onto to something or began to do sword work.

"You act like it has been years, my warrior," Lexa's sarcastic voice pulling me from my sleepy thoughts. I turned my head to see her slowly undoing her traveling cloak and her armor, placing her sword down on the dresser.

"It feels like it. I mean our bed wasn't too bad but everyone could hear us and I hated that," I comment, as she continues to slowly undress. Her tattoos fully on display before she pulled her favorite shirt on. The dark sleeves covering her whole arm, except for her shoulders, keeping her dark pants on.

Rolling over, I pat the space next to me. Not even bothering to speak. Lexa just rolled her head before throwing herself down into the space next me. I was quick to roll over and rest my head on her chest where she then began to softly run her fingers over the braids in my hair. I knew she wouldn't admit but I knew she was exhausted both physically and mentally. She kissed the top of my head before speaking after we had laid there for about 10 minutes. "I am happy that no threats lay claim to us, knowing you, you would be the first one to charge back once more into the fray."

Laughing at her last comment I couldn't help but agree. "I would always go against those who challenge you. I will be the sword that strikes your enemies and you will be the shield that protects your people and my back."

"I don't know how I feel about you are saying that I am a shield instead of a sword," sounding slightly offended.

"You are the protector of your people. You shield them from needless violence and from those who wish harm," not being able to see her, I knew she was smiling.

"Anyways I am crazy enough to win any battle, especially when I access the power of Wanheda," the pride evident in the tone of my voice.

"With the power of Heda, we are truly a force to be reckoned with," as Lexa, in turn, sounded smug. Her tone of voice caused a fire to spread through my body. I wanted her and god I would have her.

I then rolled over and fully onto Lexa, her eyes blowing wide when I ground myself down on her, arousal washing through me like waves crashing on the beach. "Our power is unmatched and you bring peace to your people," I whisper into her neck before I harshly bight down, sucking the skin into my mouth slightly before releasing and southing the bight with my tongue.

The moan that Lexa lets out is truly sinful, adjusting my position I push a knee into her center and she quickly pushes herself against it. My hands that had fisted through her hair unwound before tracing my hands down her chest before gripping the bottom of the shirt and pulling up. Lexa was quick to raise herself off the bed enough for me to pull the shirt from overhead, throwing it somewhere in the room.

Her nipples were hard and before she has time to even fall back to the bed, I had one in my mouth and my hand massaging the other. "Kara," she gasped out, her hands clawing at my back, as I sucked, bit, and pulled at her breast. I shifted once more, ignoring her whine of protest when I removed my knee from against her center.

My hand quickly snaked down and slipped past the waistband of her pants, to feel how wet she was. At that first touch, Lexa released another moan, as I smirked into her chest, kissing across to her right breast, taking note of how quickly she was breathing. As though each breath wasn't enough and she needed more. I was entrapped in her beauty, with her head thrown back her eyes closed as small whimpers escaped past her lips.

My middle finger slowly circling her sensitive nub and going off her behavior she was very close. I might have enjoyed making noise but Lexa was very stoic when we made love in the tent, rarely if ever would she make a sound. Slowly increasing the pace as I continued to gently squeeze her right breast and leave marks on her other. The damn seemed to break when I lightly pinched her clit and her back arched off the bed. She moaned my name, her voice deeper, as she finally fell back against the bed. Her breathing heavy as she lay.

I pulled my hand from her pants, her eyes following my movement, the green barely visible, as I stuck my finger in my mouth, sucking off the heavily juices as I did so. A shudder ran through her body at the sight. "You will be the death of me, Kara. What a glorious death it will be," she spoke before she surged forward, to return the favor. The ambassadors could wait as we reacquainted ourselves.

* * *

So that's it. I know the ending was kind of rushed and that last part with Kara and Lexa was kind of my try at a sex scene. I will have a cheesy epilogue eventually, but this is the end. Thank you for reading and would like to apologize for the long wait. School has been crazy, and it doesn't help that I have started two other stories as well.


	18. REWRITE IS UP

First chapter of the new rewrite is done! Check it out if you like. It ended up being over 15,000 words...no idea how the hell that happened.


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